Knots
by Mutt N. Feathers
Summary: James Potter had a sister, Ellie, younger but still in the same year at Hogwarts. When he and Lily and killed, Harry is sent to live with her, but she has a secret that might get them all killed. Can she keep herself and Harry safe?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, this is my new story. Sirius is the main character, but he's not really canon, and you'll see why as the story progresses. This story is much darker and agnsty-er; but there are moments of lightness and some really sweet moments of Harry and Ginny together as children. I appreciate anyone who is willing to read it and review it. Unlike my other tome, I am writing this one as I update. Thanks, Mutt**

**Chapter 1:**

**Brother and Sister**

A moment ago, everything was as it should be, and now ... it felt like the world had ended, and I had been engulfed in a deep pit of searing flames. I couldn't imagine pain like this, and I doubted that I would ever feel anything like it again. It was a normal night, well as normal as Halloween can be. We didn't get trick or treaters here, my building was too far away, to hard to climb up to my loft, so all I heard were people cavorting in the streets. I was exhausted and I nearly didn't answer the door when I heard the knock.

Then came the news that would forever alter my world. I couldn't breathe, it burned to take in breath, and it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. Whatever I had eaten for dinner, I couldn't remember now, reappeared on the floor in front of me. How could he be gone? Even when my Mum and Dad had died, the pain wasn't this bad. I knew their deaths were coming, and he'd been there to help me grieve. But he was gone. I was alone.

The Professors pushed their way into my apartment, and one handed me a phial and told me to drink it. I thought that I was going to die from the pain, I wanted to die from the pain. I didn't want to live in a world where I was alone; where the one person who had always been there for me was missing and wouldn't ever be back.

And then something else swept over me.

Numb.

That was the only word that could describe me now. Numb.

Professor McGonagall laid my sleeping nephew in my arms and I stumbled back into the sofa in my lounge area, not listening to what they were saying anymore. I looked down at his little round face with the same messy black hair and a memory jumped in my mind.

"_Again, again Jamie!" I squealed at my brother. "Make them fly again!"_

"_Okay, Ellie, hold on," James said, lifting the wand and making the ring of daisies once again lift off the ground and fly around my head. I giggled as they came to set upon my head, forming a crown, clapping with delight._

"_If Daddy knows that you took Grandmummy's wand again, you're going to be in so much trouble," I reminded him._

"_She was sound asleep on the hammock again," James reminded me. "I'll put it back before she finds out that I have it."_

"_I'll protect you Jamie, Daddy can't ever get as mad at me," I promised._

"_Yeah, yeah. What would I do without you?"_

"_Probably be in more trouble." _

"_Race you to the pond!" he dared me, jumping up and beginning to run off._

"_No fair, you can't start before I even stand up," I complained before I sprinted off after him._

Oh Jamie, I failed you. How could I have...I won't fail Harry. I promise. My stomach lurched at the memories, and I was afraid that I was going to be sick again. I looked back up at my former Professors trying to wrap my head around what they were saying. But nothing seemed to matter, Jamie was gone, Lily was gone, Sirius had run off and Remus was...well he'd be back in another day or so. I knew where he was and I had gotten a message from him that he was safe. But my promise to protect my brother when I was four and he was five seemed to haunt me now.

"Ellie, Ellie dear are you going to be alright?" Professor Dumbledore asked me and I looked up at him and nodded. I still couldn't believe that my brother was dead. The pain that I was feeling was unfamiliar, but I was honest, I would say that it was feeling anything that felt foreign. I hadn't let myself feel anything in over three years.

James was exactly nine months and twenty-two days older than me, we were closer than Irish twins our parents used to tease us. James was their miracle baby, they'd tried for years to have him and they were thrilled when he was finally born. Then Mum got preggers with me right after he was born. They never thought that they'd have any children, and within a year they had two. I arrived nearly six weeks early, and it was touch and go whether I would survive or not, but Mum and Dad always told us it was when they laid Jamie in the crib with me, then I started to get stronger. We were each others life lines, and we were best friends, even once we went to Hogwarts.

People assumed that we were twins, and were shocked to find out that James birthday was in November and mine was in August, the last day of August, so I just made the cut to be in the same year as him at Hogwarts. He had always promised me that he would have waited anyway, and gone with me, because we had always done everything together. We were sorted into the same house, and I was roommates with Lily Evans, who became Lily Potter, the mother of the little boy I was now holding. I couldn't think of Lily without remembering the first time that she talked about my brother.

"_Did you see what he just did?" Lily asked me and I nodded at her. "He spilled my pumpkin juice on purpose, just walked right into me. Do you know who he was?"_

"_I do. His name is James Potter and he was with..." I started to tell about Jamie and his friends but she cut me off._

"_Well he's just...a stupid, stupid boy," she complained, trying to wipe herself off with a napkin. I took my wand out and said the charm that Mummy had taught me at home and she was immediately clean._

"_Wow, how'd you learn to do that?" she asked me, and I noticed how pretty her face was._

"_My Mummy taught me at home. My brother" I said emphasizing the word hoping she'd get the hint, "tends to make a lot of messes," I explained and she tilted her head to the side._

"_Oh, is he older or younger?" she asked as we gathered our things up for the first day of classes and left the Great Hall after breakfast._

"_He's older, but only by a little over nine months."_

"_Is he at Hogwarts?" she asked and I knew that she wouldn't be happy with the answer, so I figured that I would play with her a little as we walked to class. I could see Jamie and Sirius in front of us, walking with another boy who was in their room. I'd met him last night when I'd hung out in their dorm, rather than being subjected to silly girl talk. Jamie had collided with Lily when I knew that he was aiming to run into me. Just his dumb way of telling me that he loved me._

"_Yup, he is."_

"_What house is he in?"_

"_Gryffindor," I answered, hoping that she'd figured it out._

"_Well I hope that he can teach that disgusting boy some manners," Lily said and I had to work really hard not to laugh. "Ellie, whose your brother?" she stopped at the door to the Charms classroom and I put my hand on her shoulder._

"_James Potter," I told her as I walked into the room and was greeted by Jamie, Sirius and their new friend. I turned around and smiled at her. "I'm Ellie, Ellie Potter."_

Lily forgave me for not telling her immediately that Jamie was my brother, and we became fast friends. She wasn't silly and giggling like some of the other girls in our year, and we were both smart, so we tended to work together. Since we were together, and Jamie and I had done everything together for as long as we could remember, they were forced to spend time together. I had never seen two people bicker more in my whole life. Sirius and I used to sit there and just look at them, and wonder what was up.

I could feel Harry stir in my arms and again I was brought to the here and now. When he opened his eyes at me, I was immediately again reminded of Lily. His eyes were the exact same color as hers. I held him as he squirmed into a sitting position on my lap, and I could see the question in his eyes.

"Mummy?"

"Mummy isn't here right now, Harry." I told him, his yearning bringing tears to my eyes.

"Daddy?"

"Daddy isn't either. Harry," I stopped and had to swallow down the sob that was threatening me. "Mummy and Daddy had to go away. They're with Grammy and Pappy Potter now. It's just going to be Harry and Aunt Ellie now." I tried to explain, but how do you make a toddler understand that his mother and father are dead.

"Mus and Doggie?" He asked me, calling Remus and Sirius by his nicknames for them.

"Uncle Mus is sick right now, but I'm sure that he'll be better in a couple of days," I explained. Remus had a cabin in the woods that he would go to with either James or Sirius when he had to endure the full moon. He stayed there for a couple of days after, to recover before he came home. I usually went and checked on him the morning after a full moon.

"Doggie?"

"Uncle Sirius is...away. But he'll come see us when he can," I promised the toddler, hoping that I wasn't lying. Dumbledore was trying to tell me that Sirius had betrayed Jamie and Lily, that as their secret keeper he had given away their location, but even with everything that I might believe about Sirius, I knew that betraying James wasn't something that he could have done.

I looked around my small flat, and thought about how this wasn't a place to raise a child. It only had one large room, with a small loo off to one side. It was sparsely decorated, mostly things that I'd collected from my travels around the world. I wasn't here much, it was generally an oversized closet with a big bed in it for me to crash in, wash up in the loo and change clothes. I spent long hours working at the Ministry when I wasn't traveling. Working as a Medical Potions Master was interesting and engrossing work. It was something that I was able to get lost in, which is why I chose the career.

"What am I going to do? I don't have anything to take care of a child with here. When I took care of Harry, I always went to Jamie's house," I explained to the Professors who were still standing in my flat. I realized that I hadn't even offered them a seat, let alone a spot of tea. My Mum would have been appalled at my manners. "I'm sorry, please sit down. Would you like something to drink? I can put the kettle on."

"Nonsense, Ellie." Professor McGonagall said and I nodded at her. "We know that you're not prepared to take care of a child here. We've arranged other accommodations for the two of you, for the time being."

"Oh, all right. Where are we going?" I asked in a daze. "Am I taking him back to my parents house?" I asked, knowing that James and Lily had been living in the cottage that Jamie and I shared with our parents while we were growing up. I loved the little house outside of Leeds, it was cozy and comfortable. When Mum and Dad died within a year of each other, I insisted that James and Lily take the cottage. I didn't need it, I was always at work, they were the ones that were going to have a family. They'd left it six weeks ago to go into hiding.

"I don't think that it would be safe for you to go and live there, not just yet. There are still many Death Eaters at large, and the location of your family home is quite well known," Professor Dumbledore explained, and his answer seemed reasonable to me. "For the time being, we'd like you to go and stay with the Weasley family, outside of Ottery St. Catchpole. They have a son Harry's age and a new baby daughter. They'll be prepared to have another child living with them, and they've already made room for you as well. You'll be safe there as well, the house is well warded."

"Oh, that was very kind of them," I told the pair, the comfortable numbness coming back to me. At least the numbness let me escape the pain. It hurt to breathe and to close my eyes. I felt every cell in my body try and explode to let the pain out, but there was no where for it to go, except back to being numb. "I guess I should get some things together?"

"Why don't I take Harry and see if we can get him a snack, while you pack some of your things up?" The Hogwarts Headmaster suggested and I passed Harry over to him.

"I'll help you dear." Professor McGonagall told me and we went to my messy closet to get some things together. I was embarrassed for her to see it, I had work clothes, and then really gross things that I cleaned and lounged in, nothing in between. The only dress I owned was the one that I wore for Jamie's wedding. I worked, I slept and I went to my brother's, "it's an existence, not a life" Jamie used to tell me. When I'd collected what few clothes would be appropriate, we turned around to see Harry sitting on the table munching on some biscuits, which I was sure were stale, that Dumbledore had found in my kitchen cupboards. I went to the loo and grabbed my few things and tossed them in the bag as well.

"Is there anything else here that you might need in the next few days?"

"No, I ... I'm not here much," I told them and I lifted my wand and turned the lights out and made sure that the two windows were closed. We all left the flat and I locked the door. Thankfully Professor McGonagall created a portkey to get us there, I wasn't sure that I was aware enough to apparate us, and I had only been to the Burrow twice.

When we entered the house, Molly took Harry and said that she would get him ready for bed, and lie him down in Ron's room. I nodded and the Professors talked with Arthur for a few minutes, but I couldn't quite follow the conversation. I wanted the tears to stop flowing from my eyes, but it seemed that there was an endless supply tonight. I looked up on their wall, trying to take my mind off the emptiness that I felt, and started glancing at their pictures. The smiling faces seemed to betray the weight of what was lost tonight. As my eyes moved across the wall, I was shocked to find one of Jamie, Lily, Sirius and I at their wedding. Seeing us all waving, overflowing with happiness, it was too much. I could feel the sobs racking over me as I looked at us, knowing that I would never see my brother again.

"_Ellie, are you sure that you're going to be all right?" Jamie asked me, and I put my hands on his shoulders and stared in his eyes._

"_Jamie, it's your wedding day. I am so happy for you, I can put the rest of it aside. One of us should be happy and loved. Anyway, I wouldn't want to endure Lily hexing me if I messed today up," I confessed._

"_She can be a little scary sometimes."_

"_Yes, but that's why you love her. She keeps you on your toes."_

"_She does, couldn't have never married a woman that didn't. Living with you all those years programmed me to need someone like that."_

"_And don't you ever forget it." Jamie enveloped me in a huge hug, and I returned it._

"_It'll be your turn, someday..." he tried to make it a happy sentiment, but I could hear the pain in his voice._

"_It'll be a very cold day in hell, Jamie. I just...marriage isn't in the cards for me..." I tried to brush him off, but this was my big brother._

"_That's not true, and you know it. He is so in love with you..."_

"_Stop," I said harshly, "we both know that it won't ever happen." I said, looking away. "Come now, I need to go and see Lily, and you should get out there with your groomsmen."_

"Ellie dear, just let it out. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you," Molly Weasley told me, putting an arm around me. I hadn't even realized that she was back in the room.

She plied me with some more potions and showed me the room that I would be sleeping in, and I changed and laid down, but sleep wouldn't come. I flopped around on the small bed, realizing that I missed the large one in my flat, even though I was the only one who ever slept in it. I finally gave up and grabbed my sweater and threw it on over my nightgown and headed downstairs, hoping that there would be something to read to keep my mind off of everything that had happen today.

I nestled myself by the dying fire, and grabbed a book on Muggle airplanes that clearly must be Arthur's and began flipping through the pages. I wasn't really looking at the book, but I wasn't doing anything else either. I was just ... numb again. Pictures of my brother flashed through my head, and my heart hurt at them.

"_We're really leaving today, Jamie?" I asked for like the hundredth time as I folded my new Hogwarts robes into my Mummy's old school trunk._

"_We are. Pinky swear that we'll help each other with homework." Jamie asked, holding up his little finger to me. I immediately wrapped mine around his and we shook them up and down three times._

"_Pinky swear. You'll never get through Potions without me."_

"_Yeah, and you'll need me to help you in Defense, so we're even."_

"_I just don't want to hurt anybody." I whispered._

"_I know El, but sometimes you've gotta be able to defend yourself."_

"_Naw, that's why I have you around." I told him, reaching up and tussling his hair._

"_Aw, El, why'd you do that? It took me like 15 minutes to get it to stop standing on end this morning," he said, trying to flatten his hair back out. _

"_Here I'll fix it," I told him, as I straightened it out. "Maybe you'll meet a cute girl today?"_

"_Maybe, but boys had better not look at you. You're not snogging until you're like 30. Me and Sirius will see to that."_

"_Thanks Jamie. You're a peach." I sighed, knowing that dating with my brother around would be a task. He didn't let any boys near me, except for Sirius._

I was startled by some rather loud knocking and a familiar voice calling out from the other side of the door. I sighed loudly as I both rubbed my temples and got up from the chair. I opened there door, and there stood the one boy that James had trusted around me.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" I asked as he pushed his way in. "Please, come on in," I added sarcastically and then closed the door. Seeing him somehow made the pain more real, the hurt all that much deeper. I wanted him to comfort me, I needed him to tell me that everything would be all right; but I knew that I'd never let myself.

"I came to see Harry, to make sure that he's all right."

"Sirius, you're being hunted. They think that you betrayed Jamie and Lily." I blurted out. I had to keep him safe.

"Ellie, you of all people should know that I couldn't do that." He told me, his eyes pleading with me, and for a moment, he looked like the boy that Jamie and I had met when we were six and seven.

"_Blagh," I screamed. "Something just tickled my foot. It felt yuckie. You don't think that there are Grindylows in the pond, do you?" I asked him as we swam around._

"_Naw, just water dragons, Ellie," he teased me._

"_That's silly, Jamie. There's no such thing as..."_

"_Sure there are." Jamie and I turned to where the voice came from and found a boy on the banks of the pond, standing by the pile of our clothes that we'd left there. Jamie and I always went skinny dipping, Mummy and Daddy didn't seem to mind. The boy was already starting to strip down out of his clothes. He stood about as tall as Jamie, and had hair almost as dark, but his eyes, they were pale. "Water dragons only eat little girls."_

"_That's really stupid," I told him honestly._

"_Who are you?" Jamie asked, swimming so he was next to me. Jamie always protected me._

"_Sirius Black. My father bought the house up on the hill, we're going to summer here," he explained, taking off the rest of his clothes and diving in the water. When he came up for air, he was quite near us, and dripping wet._

"_I'm James Potter and this is my sister Ellie. We have the blue house..."_

"_The one with the big porch and the old lady asleep on the hammock?" Sirius asked us and we nodded._

"_That's Grandmummy, she's always sleeping." I told him and then asked, "How old are you?" _

"_Seven. How old are you?" _

"_I'm seven, Ellie is six..." James started, but I needed to correct him._

"_I will be seven in one month and eleven days."_

"_Yes, Ellie," he said, sounding annoyed that I'd reminded him when my birthday was again. "But I'm still your big brother," he said with a big splash of his arm, getting me soaked._

_Soon we were splashing and playing. When we'd had enough, we got out and went exploring. James even stole Grandmummy's wand again; but all day, I couldn't stop looking at Sirius' eyes._

I forced myself into the present, but those pale grey eyes, framed by the dark hair were here too. They were bloodshot and swollen, and I knew that he'd been crying over Jamie. The only reason he and I had even tried in the last few years was because it would have been too hard on Jamie to have to pick between his best mate and his sister.

My head was throbbing and I was suddenly wishing for the numbness that I had earlier. The pain was just too much, made all the worse by his being here. My stomach lurched again, it always did when he was too close; coupled with the grief of loosing Jamie and Lily, I found it to be too much. I ran to the kitchen and was sick in the sink.

There wasn't much in my stomach, so mostly what came up was thick, yellow bile. I stood there, head bent over, clutching onto the sink, hoping that the rushing sound in my ears would stop so that I could stand up. Then, he was behind me, holding my hair back and rubbing along my spine.

"Ellie," he whispered, but the sound ripped through me as if it were a cannon going off, and my well constructed emotional wall felt like it would crumble. I stood there, grasping the porcelain of the basin, fearful of where my hands would go if I released them. I so wanted to hold him, but we couldn't. We couldn't even to try and take away the pain that we were both feeling.

"Stop," I begged, knowing if I tried for more words, everything that I'd worked so hard for during the last three years would dissolve away.

"I know how badly you're hurting. I feel it too. He was like my brother, but he was yours..."

"Yeah, he was Sirius, but he's gone. He left me alone. He promised that we'd always be together..."

"He didn't mean to break that promise..." I mustered the strength to stand and look at him.

"No one keeps their promises," I said darkly, again finding the resolve to harden myself. "Sirius, leave. Go up to the cabin, Remus is there. Stay there until I can figure this all out."

"But Harry..."

"Will be fine. I'll take care of him and love him as if he were my own." I said pointedly, and I knew that he hadn't missed the meaning. "You're being tracked, you shouldn't be here." I told him, wanting him to go and hide in the darkness. Then a thought came to me. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Ellie," he started, his face getting soft again. "I can always find you." He whispered, putting his hand on my face. Electricity shot through me at his touch, and I wanted more. I wanted his arms around me, I wanted the strength that he'd always given me.

And then I remembered.

"Sirius, leave. Go to the cabin or go home to your wife," I spit the last word out. Rosemund Rowle Black was my least favorite person in the world.

"If I'm not here helping with Harry, then I'm going after Peter." I shook my head and headed back into the lounge, reaching for my wand and realizing it wasn't there, Sirius handed his to me and I took it, cleaned out my mouth and relit the fire, giving it back before I even realized what I had done. I hated that he knew what I needed without ever having to tell him.

"Why would you go after that little...irritation?"

"Ellie, James made him the secret keeper," he confessed and my head snapped to look at him.

"But, when I said no, he told me he was going to ask you..." I mumbled, knowing that I'd truly failed my brother. I had begged him to pick someone who could defend themselves better, I wasn't ever good at Defensive Spells and I didn't have the fortitude to hurt or kill someone.

"I told him that it would be better if it wasn't me. I was afraid that I'd...because of her," he told me quietly, and I knew that it was Rosemund again. I sank to the cushions, wishing again that I'd had the courage to do what Jamie had asked of me.

"It really is my fault that they're dead..." I sobbed, as I put my head in my hands.

"Lolly, it isn't your fault. It's Peter's fault..." Sirius comforted me, using his private nickname for me. We were fourteen when he gave it to me, just back for our fourth year. The memory slammed into me, as if I had been hit by the Hogwarts Express.

"_You know, you're too sweet to be just called Ellie," he said as his fingers played with my hair. We were out on the Astronomy tower, away from everyone. We'd just shared our seventeenth kiss, and I could tell you where each one of them took place and how they felt._

"_Really? Then what would you call me?" I asked him, my head still floating from the way that he'd snogged me._

"_I'd call you..." he stopped to think. "Lolly, because you're just as sweet as a lollipop."_

"_You're very silly tonight," I told him, and he nodded in agreement._

"_Yup, because James has finally accepted that I fancy you, and that you fancy me and if any boy had to be around his sister, he was glad it was me. Makes me pretty happy, and that makes me silly."_

"_Okay, then you may call me Lolly, but only you," I told him, and he grinned at me in a way that made me just a little nervous._

"_Good, because I'm the only bloke that's going to do this to you too..." he said as his lips came to mine again in number eighteen._

"Please, don't call me Lolly," I whimpered, as his hand gently brushed my cheek, wiping away my tears. "Look, go to Remus, and stay there. Let me look into all of this, please?" I pleaded, finally turning to look at those pale eyes that were parallel with mine. "I lost Jamie and Lily today, I might die if I were to loose you too. Go, please. Harry and I will be fine." Tears streaming down my face.

"Ellie, I can't...I don't want to leave you like this." I was on the edge of a fence, and I could fall either way right now. I needed to make sure that I didn't fall into Sirius, no matter how badly I wanted to.

"Sirius, I'm not your concern anymore. You've got..." I couldn't even say her name out loud "...her. You know how to find me, when the dust settles, we can figure out a way for you to see Harry."

"But, I want to help..." he begged and I almost didn't have the strength to send him away.

"Go now, before someone finds out where you are. She isn't going to tolerate much more from you, and she'll go running to your mother, which isn't something either of us want." I reminded him, reflexively grabbing the place where I had a scar on my arm from the curse that his mother had thrown at me when we were seventeen.

"But I love you," he confessed, and I recoiled my emotions back into me. I wasn't going to let his words get to me. I wasn't going to be swayed.

"Those are only words, and you know it. Go, please. I'll be up to the cabin soon to check on Remus and I'll tell you what's going on. Leave me alone, Sirius." I said harshly, opening the door and pointing to it. He looked more wounded than when he'd arrived, and I hated that I'd just thrown his feelings back at him, but it had to be done. I looked at the ground as he passed, not wanting to see those eyes again and only looked up moments later, to see him fade into the darkness. I closed the door and slid down it, caving into a sobbing mass on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

**What comes next**

I awoke in what was obviously a boys room, having to struggle to figure out exactly how I'd gotten in here last night. The last definite thing that I remembered was sinking to the floor when Sirius had left. I finally let the pain and emptiness crash into me, and I felt things that I hadn't allowed myself to feel in three years, three months and eleven days. Not since the last night we had together, the night before he...Jamie had pulled me together that night, carried me home and held me as I wept, he stayed with me all day, not really saying anything, not promising me anything, just being there. By the following morning, once the heart searing pain of that second night had passed, I had constructed the wall that held anything I felt inside me. I became the shell that existed but didn't live. In the ensuing the years, I would catch Jamie watching me hoping for some signs of life. I know that it saddened him that there weren't any. I wanted to be the girl from his childhood, but I just wasn't able to anymore. He'd died never really seeing me smile again. I couldn't imagine how disappointed he must have been in me and the way that I lived.

"_Would you just tell me what has you so happy?" Jamie yelled at me from across the lawn. I was turning lazy cartwheels in the grass, my shoes off as I felt the dew on my feet. "You're, you're driving me barmy this morning."_

"_I can't tell you, it'll make you upset," I told him, fully knowing that he'd blow something up if he knew what was making me happy. Whenever Jamie had accidental magic, he blew something up. Finding out that I'd snogged his best friend last night would definitely make him angry enough to do accidental magic._

"_Ellie, if you're this happy, then it won't make me upset," he tried to promise me, but I knew better. We'd only been at the summer house for two days, Sirius was already here, and he was waiting for us. He'd confessed that he was sweet on me three days before the end of year exams. It had been ten whole days since I saw him, but I knew that I wanted to snog him when I did. Thankfully, Jamie had gotten into trouble and had to stay in and do chores after dinner last night. That gave Sirius and I time to be alone._

"_Nope, it will make you upset," I said, again turning myself upside down and then righting myself. "It's my secret."_

"_Nothing would make me that angry, well, except a bloke making moves on you. There isn't anybody good enough for my little sister," he announced, and I fell out of the cartwheel I was doing and landed on my head with a rather ungraceful flop to the ground. James had always felt this way, that no boy would ever be good enough for me, and that whomever I wanted to date would have to get past him. I was thirteen, almost fourteen, it was getting really old._

"_What made you say that?"_

"_Because, I don't know anyone who would be good enough for you Ellie." Just then, Sirius ambled up, he waved at James but smiled at me, and I could tell that he was thinking about last night too. "Sirius, agree with me here, there isn't a bloke alive that's good enough for Ellie, right?"_

"_There might be one, but for the most part, naw, she's just too sweet," he said, and thankfully James didn't notice that he couldn't take his eyes off me, and I was having a hard time breathing at seeing him._

"_See, Sirius agrees, so please, tell me what it is that has you so happy."_

"_Nope," I said shaking my head. "Just accept that I'm happy Jamie, I'm very happy," I told him, again turning a cartwheel in the grass._

"_I give up. Sirius, we've gonna have to work extra hard to keep the guys away from her. Pinky swear, no boys near Ellie till she's thirty," James said holding his little finger up to his best friend. Sirius took it in his and they shook the prerequisite number of times. _

"_I promise, no other boys near Ellie," Sirius said, looking at me with a knowing smile. I couldn't take it any more, I just started giggling and ran off to the tree house. _

I sat up in the bed, wondering what time it was. When I summoned my watch to me, I realized that I had slept through the morning, it was nearly noon. I needed to go in to work for a while today, to tell them that I was taking a few months off to figure out what my life was going to look like now. I didn't have an existence that lent itself well to a toddler, I knew that there would need to be changes. I also needed to find out what had happened last night, where Jamie and Lily's bodies were, and I was sure that there were plans that needed to be made. I got out of the bed and dug through the clothes that I brought with me, realizing that I really would need some new things if I was going to be home with Harry now; he was going to need things too. I couldn't even wrap my mind around everything that we would need to keep in the house. I hoped that maybe Molly would be able to go shopping with me. I also needed to take care of a permanent place to live. Remus had been living with Jamie and Lily as well, I guessed that it would need to be big enough for him too. Jamie and I had made a promise to each other that we'd always take care of him, since it seemed that the larger society didn't care.

I pulled out a pair of jeans, they were ripped and patched, but they were the best ones that I had and then grabbed the jersey that was in the bag. As I slid it over me, I realized that I had grabbed Jamie's and not mine; they were both in my closet, since I had stolen it from him in the last days we were at Hogwarts.

"_Ellie, give me back my jersey," Jamie said, I was trying to help the three of them pack. We were supposed to leave in a few days, and there was junk all over their room._

"_Nope, I want it. I need something to sleep in," I told him, quickly shrinking it and putting it in my pocket. _

"_Why would you want to sleep in your big brother's jersey?"_

"_Because, it reminds me that you're always there and that you'll always take care of me," I told him and it made him smile. He drew our secret symbol in the air, the one that we'd make at night before we went to sleep as kids. We'd started it when I was three and I'd been having recurring nightmares. We could see each other if we left the doors to our bedrooms open, but once lights were out, we couldn't talk, Mummy rule. So one night, James made up the symbol, a rough outline of a bird in flight: an arc, half a circle bump and another arc. We both already loved to fly and would spend lazy afternoons flying with each other. We agreed that when he made it, I would make the symbol back, and he'd know that I was okay._

_I made the symbol back, but Jamie could see in my eyes that I really wasn't all right. I wasn't sure if I would ever be all right again. I was losing hope that this mess I'd gotten myself into was going to end well. I had told Lily that sometimes, there wasn't a happy ending to the fairy tale the night before, and we'd sat on my bed and cried about it._

_Jamie wanted me to come and live with him and Lily after they were married, but I knew that they didn't need his sister in the house. Mum and Dad wanted me to live at home, but I refused that as well. I had found my flat, and I knew that I'd be fine alone. In my bones, I could feel that I was destined to be this way. It would make it easier on those that loved me._

"_You won't be in the same house as me anymore Jamie, I need the shirt as a reminder," I said quietly, hoping that no one else in the room could hear us. Jamie closed the distance and smothered me in a hug._

"_Wear it then, and think of it as a hug from me."_

I wrapped my arms around myself in my brothers torn and worn out jersey, and tried to feel the comfort that I felt that day, but it didn't feel at all the same. I could feel the tears and the pain coming on again, but I didn't have time for them now. I pushed it away, hoping that I could simply get through the day. I quickly cleansed my mouth and pulled my hair into a loose ponytail and headed downstairs. The noise of a family this large reached me as I neared the bottom floor, and I was suddenly thankful for the eight children who would be running around today; it could help me keep my mind off of everything.

Several of the older ones looked at me as I passed through the lounge and into the kitchen, where I could hear Molly talking. When I entered the room, I saw Harry sitting in a high chair next to a little redheaded boy who looked close in age. There was a very small but pretty baby girl in a carrier on the table. Molly was busying herself at the stove.

"Ehwwie!" Harry said, still not able to make an "L" sound. "Ehwwie!"

"Ellie, dear," Molly said, stopping what she was cooking and coming over to hug me. "Did you finally get some sleep last night?"

"I did, but I really don't remember getting up to bed," I confessed, hoping that she could shed some light on how I'd made it back up to the little bedroom.

"Sit down, let me get you something to eat," she remarked, releasing me from her hold. I went over and kissed Harry, who put his slimy fingers on my face. I looked into his bowl, but I couldn't figure out what it was that he was eating. I wiped my face off with the sleeve of Jamie's jersey and then sat down. "Arthur thought that he heard something downstairs. He found you slumped by the door and levitated you back to your room."

"Oh, that was nice of him. I sort of lost it last night," I explained as she set a bowl of soup down in front of me. I recognized what Harry was eating now, it was the vegetables and noodles from the soup without any broth. "I need to head into the Ministry today, I want to take a six month leave from my job. I suppose that there are arrangements that will need to be made as well."

'None of that needs to be taken care of today, dear. Why don't you just take some time to relax..."

"Molly, I need to keep moving, to have something to do. It's the only way that I can..." I stopped again, tears falling down my face. "Please, this is how I cope," I confessed and the older woman stopped what she was doing and looked at me.

"I understand dear, it wasn't all that long ago that I lost my brothers, you're doing much better than I did," she divulged and I smiled half heartedly at her.

"I need to keep moving, I've got Harry to take care of now," I explained and the toddler smiled at me. "Lub Ehwwie," he proclaimed at me, rather loudly, while banging his spoon on the tabletop, awakening the sleeping baby on the table.

"Oh, there, there Ginny," Molly said as she came over to lift the little girl. I was struck at how she looked so much like Lily, same freckles and brilliant red hair. As I stared at the baby, another memory slammed into me.

"_Ellie, Ellie, where are you?" I heard a pleasant and familiar voice calling me while I was working in the lowest level of St. Mungo's today. I had been called over to consult on a rather perplexing poisoning case. I slid from my stool and away from my cauldron and walked to the doorway, where I saw Lily waiting for me._

"_Lil, what are you doing here? Where are James and Harry?" I asked her as I hugged my sister-in-law._

"_Home, I had a Healer appointment today," she was beaming at me, and I felt a similar smile break across my face as I embraced her again. _

"_You are, aren't you?" I asked, although I suspected the answer to my half a question._

"_I am. Nearly 8 weeks along. I'm due in March. I can't wait to get home and tell James, but I knew that you were here, so please don't tell him you knew first," she pleaded with me and I nodded._

"_Sisters don't tell their secrets," I reminded her, knowing that we had enough dirt on each other to bury the opposite._

"_Okay, did you find out, is it a boy or a girl?" I had to ask, didn't mean that she had to answer._

"_It's a little girl, but I'm not telling James just yet, I want him to wonder for a while."_

"_Oh my, a little girl. What those men are going to do to her? If I thought that they were overprotective of me when I was young...she's got her daddy, her uncles and an older brother. Boys won't even be able to look at her," I mused and Lily laughed._

"_We'll have to sneak her out of the house," Lily promised._

The memory faded and I couldn't help but look at little Ginny and know in my heart that the baby would have resembled her, but somehow with James bright hazel eyes. My heart started racing at the memories, and I was afraid that the two spoonfuls of soup I'd managed to get into me would come back up. She had died along with Jamie and Lily, they hadn't even gotten a chance to tell Harry that he was going to be a big brother.

The infant stopped crying at her mother's touch and I closed my eyes and concentrated on slowing my body down. Molly must have realized that there was something deeply wrong, as she called her two oldest sons in to take the toddlers out to the yard to play before their nap time. Before they took Harry out, I held him to me and kissed his head again.

"Ehwwie, Mummy, Daddy gone?" he asked me, remembering what I'd told him last night.

"Yes, sweetheart, Mummy and Daddy are with Grammy and Pappy Potter. Aunt Ellie is going to take care of Harry now, all right?"

"Okay," he said, and I was sure that he really didn't understand. I watched them go out to the yard, followed by the other three boys, and the house now seemed unnaturally quiet.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Molly asked as she settled down across from me, throwing a blanket over herself as she fed Ginny. I only knew from when Lily had nursed Harry, and even then, it took me weeks to figure out that's what she was doing. The intricacies of motherhood weren't something that I understood, and it was likely that I wouldn't ever.

"I don't even know where to begin," I told her honestly. "If I stop to think about it too long, it's just...the pain is unbearable, and I know for pain, Molly."

"We know you do dear. Lily had told us a little of what had happened, and..." I looked down at the table. I hated that Lily had betrayed my trust in that way. The only people who really knew what had happened were my family and Remus. And of course, Sirius knew. "She didn't tell us to make gossip, it's just, after your parents died, I never understood why you didn't come around with the rest of them. I was going to go and drag you away from your job one day, and tell you that you had to come and celebrate the holidays with us, when Lily explained it. I can't imagine how...just know your secret is safe with Arthur and I." I nodded at her, unable to form a response to the fact that my deepest secret was known to someone that I wasn't aware of. I felt a deep need to change the subject.

"I'm going to take six months off, that should give us time to get settled somewhere. My flat isn't appropriate for a child, to be honest, it isn't large enough for us both to live there. Dumbledore doesn't want me going back to my parents cottage either, says it won't be safe, so I guess that I need to find a house to live in," I muttered, knowing that I was really making a list for myself, rather than carrying on a conversation.

"But before I do that, I have to go shopping. Harry only has the clothes and the few things that they salvaged...." I stopped, not wanting to think about the snippets of the description of the safe house that had attached themselves to my brain. I looked up at the woman across the table from me. "Could you help me with that. I don't really know what he might need. Money won't be a problem, I've got more than I could spend in a lifetime, but I just don't know what he'd need."

"Of course dear, and might I suggest that you get some things for yourself? Your outfit there, well, I think that some fresh clothes might help your mood," she told me in a motherly way, and I was reminded of my mother telling me much the same thing shortly after I'd started my job. I had fine robes to wear to work, and the few Muggle type clothes that I kept while I was at Hogwarts. However, there wasn't much else to my wardrobe, even back then.

"I was already planning on it, I'll just head into Hogsmeade and buy a few things. It's far less crowded than Diagon Alley, especially at this time of the year. Is there a Muggle store in town for some simple clothes and shoes and such?"

"There is, and we'll find some play clothes for Harry as well. I have a few things that Ron has outgrown that you can have also." I nodded, acknowledging her generosity. I stopped for a moment, and realized that I didn't want to move, didn't want to breathe; but I had to. I had Harry to care for now, and he deserved someone who wasn't paralyzed by their grief and remorse. I swallowed down the bile that had again formed in the back of my throat and took another spoonful of soup.

"Ellie, dear, why were downstairs last night?" Molly asked, trying to lighten the mood again.

"I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to disturb anyone. After Sirius left, I couldn't get myself back upstairs..."

"Sirius Black was here!" she said harshly, and I looked at her, seeing her anger. "The Aurors are looking for him. Why didn't you turn him in, or at least scream for Arthur and I?" I lifted my hands and started waving them at her.

"Molly, Molly, he didn't do what everyone thinks he did," I told her and she stopped, looking at me suspiciously. "Molly, Sirius didn't betray Jamie. I know he didn't." I said, stressing the word know. I was hoping that she'd catch on without me explaining everything, and I suddenly wished that I understood exactly what Lily had told them about why I was so reclusive.

"How could you know that dear? Look at his family, look at his wife." The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as she mentioned them.

"Sirius isn't like them. I've known him since I was six and I would trust him with my life," and with my heart, I added in my head. "He loved Jamie almost as much as I did. He wouldn't have betrayed them; but he didn't have the secret to give away anyway."

"What? Dumbledore was certain that he was the secret keeper. If it wasn't Sirius, then who was it?" Molly asked me, pulling Ginny out from under the blanket and resting her over her shoulder to burp her.

"Molly, Jamie had asked me to be the secret keeper first. I told him no because if the Death Eaters were to come after me, I wouldn't have, I wasn't ever very good at Defense. He wanted to ask Sirius, but he said no; he didn't trust his mother or...his wife," I explained. I had gleaned enough information from him last night as to his reasoning for not wanting to be the one who knew where they were. I wasn't sure if he didn't trust his mother or Rosemund, but since I knew that they'd both be willing to curse him for information, he had reason to be afraid of them both. Molly looked shocked at the implication.

"You don't think...could they really have forced the information from him?" She asked, horrified that it was even a possibility.

"Molly, they're not like normal people. I know that they've hurt him before," I said, my hand again going to the scar that was on my arm. "It wouldn't surprise me for either of them to choose to use an Unforgivable against him. He just wanted to keep them safe. Sirius couldn't have betrayed them, and he can't lie to me, so I know it's the truth." I watched her face as the reality dawned on her.

"Oh," she said, and then her eyes got wider. "Oh, I see," she added, and I now knew that she'd come to a full understanding of the situation. "Well, then who was it?"

"James asked another friend, Peter Pettigrew. He must have been desperate, because to be honest, I never understood what they saw in Peter, except that they had shared a dorm. Peter didn't really spend time with us at school, but, if Sirius and I both said no; and given the other problems Remus has, it would have been unrealistic to have expected him to do it; Peter might have been his only choice," I explained.

"Ellie, we need to tell Dumbledore right away, he has to get them to search for the right man," Molly implored me, getting up and throwing some floo powder into the fireplace, and called for the Headmaster's office. I didn't really want to see him right now, nor did I want to explain all of this to him. He had no idea what we'd done...I had always respected him and I didn't want to see the look of disappointment in his eyes when he learned.

I could hear Molly talking rather rapidly into the fireplace, and before she'd even taken a breath to continue, Albus Dumbledore walked through the fireplace and stood looking at me. It looked as imposing as he did the first time that I saw him when we walked into the Great Hall to be sorted that first night.

"_It's so big," I whispered to Jamie. He was standing in front of me, Sirius was behind me. They were both holding my hands, since I had burst out into excited fits of laughter twice on the train ride here. They didn't want me embarrassing them._

"_Hey, there he is," Jamie said loud enough for Sirius and I to hear. We both knew who he was talking about. Daddy was friends with Professor Dumbledore, and talked about him often, but we'd never met him. For a while I wondered if he was like Father Christmas, someone that you knew existed but you never really got to see. The Headmaster must have recognized us, because he looked down and winked at us; which of course made me giggle again. Both boys tugged on my hands to quiet me down._

_The sorting started, and Sirius went first, because his last name started with a B. There was much murmuring in the hall when he was sorted into Gryffindor, including a rather shrill yell from a shockingly blonde haired girl in what sounded like anger. All of Sirius' family had been in Slytherin, we knew from when we'd visited his home. The whole place was covered in snakes and such. Sirius slapped James hand as he passed us and then pulled on my ponytail. Both Mummy and Daddy had been in Gryffindor, we hoped that we would be too. _

_We listened as others were sorted into their house, paying attention to who went into Gryffindor, hoping that we'd be dorm mates. A boy with very sad eyes was sorted into the house, and all I could think was that he needed a hug. I hoped above all else that Jamie and I would be in Gryffindor, so that he could have some friends._

"_Potter, Eleanor," the woman with the very tall witch's hat on called and Jamie squeezed my hand before letting go of it. I walked up and sat on the stool and she put the hat on my head. I looked from Jamie to Sirius, knowing that I needed to be in the same house as my brother and our best friend._

"_Gryffindor" it cried and I jumped up off the chair and hugged my brother. I started walking toward the table, but I did it really slowly, knowing that Jamie would be called next. I'd only moved about six feet when he was sorted into the same house as I was. Sirius stood up and cheered, which only brought more strange looks from the girl across the room, but we both hugged him when we got to the table for dinner._

"_Eleanor? You're name is Eleanor?" Sirius teased me._

"_Yeah, it is, but if you ever call me anything but Ellie again, you're going to find yourself on the receiving end of my dragon breath hex, got it," I promised him getting nose to nose with him._

"_Yeah, yeah, Ellie. No problem." He said, looking at me oddly. I sat down between Jamie and Sirius, and across from the boy with the sad eyes. Jamie was already introducing us to him. I looked up at the head table, and realized that the Headmaster was watching us. He had a smile on his face that reminded me of Mummy's, right before she told us that we'd done something well. I smiled back at him, and he tipped his head at me, which made me blush._

"How are you doing today, Ellie?" The old man asked, and I shrugged my shoulders at him. 'Bloody brilliant, I felt like replying, my brother and his wife were killed in cold blood last night so I'm having a great day,' was what I felt like saying to his stupid question, but I was kinder than that, and just kept quiet. "Molly here tells me that we're searching for the wrong man. Can you tell me why you think that?" He asked me gently as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to me. Molly set Ginny back down in her carrier, and went to the stove. I was looking into his eyes, peeking at me over his reading glasses, and I knew that I was going to have to endure the same look from him that I had gotten from my father when I told him. Molly sat a cup of tea down in front of him, and thankfully he looked away to prepare his cup. I closed my eyes and inhaled, hoping for strength to come into me with my breath.

"Sir, Sirius was here last night. He told me that he wasn't the secret keeper. Jamie had made it Peter Pettigrew," I announced, and I knew what question was going to follow.

"My dear, why would James have done that?"

"Jamie had asked me, but I told him no for fear that I wouldn't be able to defend myself against an attack to get the information. He then asked Sirius, but he said no because of, well, he didn't trust some of the people around him," I said, praying that he caught onto my meaning. Dumbledore nodded his head. "Sirius told me that he'd then asked Peter."

"I hate to ask this, but isn't it possible that Sirius was lying to you?" I started shaking my head at him.

"No. He came to check up on Harry and I, knowing that you'd place him with me," I started, but he cut me off.

"How did he find you? There were only three of us who knew where we were placing you and Harry," he said, his voice heavy with concern.

"Sir, Sirius can find me; it doesn't matter where I am, he can find me. It's part of why I know that he can't lie to me. Sir, when we were at school, we were very close," I started, and then needed to stop again, closing my eyes trying not to remember those days.

"I seem to remember having to reprimand you for being on the Astronomy Tower when you had no business being there," he reminded me and I nodded, slightly embarrassed.

"Yes, sir, you're correct. See, Sirius and I were close, and we had every intention of...well, we were in love and we were afraid of what his family would do about it and we...we needed a way that they couldn't break us apart..." I stopped, knowing that I was rambling on without saying anything.

"Ellie, dear, what did you do?" he asked, clearly worried about what my response would be.

"Sir, how much do you know about the Rite of Croi Ceangal?" I asked him, and I watched as his face fell and his eyes became serious.

"I know that the practice was abandoned about 200 years ago, because of the emotional pain that could be inflicted by it," he said, and then I saw his eyes soften.

"Ellie, what did you and Sirius do?"

"We thought that it would be a way for us to be together. We researched the rite, and we...the day after I turned 16 we performed the rite on each other. Jamie tried to talk us out of it, but we were..." I couldn't finish, I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole again. The room was silent, even little Ginny seemed to understand the gravity of the situation. "You see, he couldn't have lied to me, he isn't capable of it."

"Oh, Ellie, I wish I'd known before...Sirius was captured by the Hit Squad last night, he's already been taken to Azkaban," he told me, his hand reaching out for mine just as all the pain that I'd kept at bay for so long crashed down upon me and the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Miscalculations**

"_Ellie, please stop and listen to me," Jamie called to me, but I was headed out of Gryffindor Tower to meet Sirius in the Shrieking Shack. _

"_No, Jamie. I know what you're going to say, and I know why, but we talked about it on the train. We're doing this, I'm old enough and this is what we want," I reminded him. We'd spent most of the train ride here discussing this. I was tired of him thinking that I hadn't thought it through or that I didn't understand what I was doing._

"_But, El, it's permanent. You can't undo it." I stopped in the narrow corridor that took me to the portrait door._

"_Why would you think that we wanted to? I love him, I want to marry him. We have to do something before he turns seventeen next month, because then the betrothal becomes binding. Once we do this, his family will be forced to break the marriage contract. I read it all in Daddy's law books. Please, Jamie, I know what I'm doing," I pleaded with my brother. "Or, are you still not sure about Sirius loving me?"_

_Jamie ran his hands through his hair, making it look even more rumpled and disheveled. "That's not it, and you know it. He's my best mate, and I know that he loves you; it's just that, Ellie I worry about you doing such old magic. There must be a reason that people don't do this rite anymore."_

"_Yeah, probably the same reason that the divorce rate is climbing, even among Wizards. Look at the world, Jamie. People think that the old ways are antiquated and irrelevant. That everything has to be new and modern, I don't. Please, Jamie, big brother, my best friend," I said as I shifted my things so that I could reach for his hand. "If we don't do this, my heart will be broken, because he'll be forced to marry that shrew. What do you think that will do to him? Think about how we both will be after that. This is the only way, help me, please," I begged._

"_Fine, Ellie, but if this blows up in your face, don't say that I didn't warn you," he cautioned and I dropped his hand and drew our secret symbol in the air. He reluctantly returned it._

The memory started to lift, and the world changed from black to grey and then finally to a pinkish color, the one I knew was my eyes trying to look through my eyelids. I hesitantly opened them and saw Molly and Professor Dumbledore standing over me.

"Welcome back, Ellie," the old man muttered and I looked around. I was on the floor of the Weasley kitchen, which confirmed to me that I had indeed, passed out.

"Lie still there dear, let me just check you over," Molly requested and I complied, seeing as I really didn't have the energy to move. I watched Molly's wand hover over me, while she made some complex patterns in the air. "Nothing to be worried about, simple fainting spell. Honestly, dear, I was surprised that you hadn't passed out already over all of this."

I pulled myself to a sitting position and took a deep breath, testing the waters so to speak. I wasn't light headed, I just felt...well I didn't feel much of anything, which meant that things were back to normal. I got up and back into the chair and looked at the Headmaster. "I'm sure that you have some questions for me."

"I'm not sure where to begin, to be quite honest. How did you even learn about the ritual?" he responded.

"I was doing research in the restricted section of the library in the spring of my OWL year. I was working on advanced Invigoration and Restoration Potions. Professor Slughorn never questioned why I needed to go to the section, he always signed the pass for me. Anyway, I finished my research quite quickly and decided that since I was in the section anyway, I would do some reading. Sirius and I had been together for nearly two years, and," I stopped and took a deep breath, remembering how desperate I felt in those days. We'd talked with both of our fathers while we were home on Easter break. The conversation with my parents went vastly different than the one with his father.

"_Absolutely not. Your betrothal is set," Mr. Black roared at us. I had never liked him, not since the first summer that Sirius and his family were on the Isle with us. He always was so angry and the way he talked to the house elves bothered me. We didn't have one, Mum had explained that they'd freed the last of the Potter family house elves shortly after she and Dad were married._

"_I don't love Rosemund, Father. I don't even like her," Sirius retorted._

"_Do you think that matters? Pure bloods marry for consolidation of power and prestige of name, and not love, you stupid waste of space," his father yelled and I was shocked, never in all of my life had my father spoken to me in the slightest resemblance of the way that Mr. Black was speaking to Sirius. I clutched his hand even tighter._

"_Ellie is a pureblood, father. Break the engagement, please, I'm begging you. If that's what you're worried about, then please, let me marry her."_

"_Would that make you happy?" His father asked, with a cold sneer across his face. I really didn't like the way he was looking at us._

"_Yes," Sirius answered, looking at me. "She does make me happy, very happy." Mr. Black threw his head back and laughed maniacally._

"_Then it will be my pleasure to watch you suffer. You know, I tried to arrange a match between the two of you, the year before you started at Hogwarts. Her father," he threw the word at me, but I already knew that Dad and Mr. Black did not get along. "He said that his daughter would be able to choose who she wanted to marry, and that he wouldn't use her as a pawn in my play for power. Take that back to Quinlan Potter."_

_I wanted to run away, to hide from what he was saying. This could have been avoided, we could have been the ones marrying at the end of our school years, instead of Sirius and Rosemund. I fought the tears that we coming to me._

"_Fine father, be that way. I will find a way around this, I am going to marry Ellie," Sirius said firmly and my heart swelled at his words._

"I'm sorry. I was just remembering," I told them sadly. "The conversation didn't go well, my parents were more than willing to bless our union, but Sirius' father, he was...cold. I always felt like it brought him pleasure that Sirius would be hurt if we were broken apart. Sirius finished the rest of the Easter holiday at our house, and then he left his family permanently that summer. His father knew that mine had given him refuge, and it made things worse between them. My parents already loved Sirius as much as Jamie and I. He was always around when we were on holiday at our summer house," I explained.

"We were sixteen and in love, and he was being forced to marry someone else. I had researched the betrothal laws, and since the match was made during the Age of Arrangement, it was nearly unbreakable. There were so few families that were still adhering to the old Betrothal laws, but the Blacks were staunch supporters. I knew that only the head of the family could break a betrothal, and even then there would be huge financial penalties, and the endurance of being a social outcast for the ball season. We'd always suspected finances as part of Mr. Black's motivation; he didn't want to have to return the money that Rosemund Rowle's father had given him to secure the betrothal," I confessed, and I could see Molly shaking her head and clucking her tongue.

"The Ministry should have outlawed the whole betrothal process when it had the chance, but the Wizengamot would not move on it," Molly said pointedly to Professor Dumbledore and he had a sympathetic look on his face. I had read about the whole debate on ending the pure blood practice at the beginning of the twentieth century. It was one of the reasons that my grandfather Hightower had let my Mum select her own husband, and why Dad would have let me select mine.

"When I found the heart tying ritual, and I thought that this would be a way for us to be together. Never in a million years did I think that Mr. Black would be so cruel as to intentionally inflict that kind of pain on his son. Neither of us thought..." I stopped, perhaps if I'd looked harder at Orion Black I would have known that he'd find a perverse pleasure in seeing Sirius and I suffer. "I turned sixteen the day before we returned for our sixth year, and we only had about six weeks before his seventeenth birthday. We knew that the rite would be registered at the Ministry, and we figured that we'd force his father's hand. My Dad had already promised us that he would do whatever it took, even if that meant paying Mr. Black for his allowing us to marry."

"Ellie, I hate to ask this, but, the rite fell out of fashion because it was rumored to cause excruciating pain if..." Dumbledore started but I didn't want to get into this particular topic of discussion. I held up my hand to stop him.

"The rumors were true, please don't make me expound on this," I begged and I saw him nod.

"Well then, I guess that we know the rest of the story. However, I remember the two of you together up until the day that you left school?" He questioned.

"We were, we honestly thought that his father would relent, or Rosemund would get her father to break the engagement. Really, who would want to marry someone you knew was in love with someone else?" I posed the hypothetical question. "We spent the night before his wedding together, Jamie and Remus covering us for us."

"Well then, this certainly changes things. He was sent to Azkaban without benefit of trial, partly at my insistence that he was the secret keeper, and partly at the pleading of Cornelius Fudge, the leader of the Hit Squad team that arrested him. He was dueling Peter Pettigrew when they found him," Dumbledore explained.

"Because Peter was the real Secret Keeper," I explained.

"Well, I know that, now," the Headmaster said regretfully. "I will see about getting him a trial, but Ellie, you'll need to explain why you know that Sirius didn't betray James and Lily, in front of the full Wizengamot."

"I understand sir, but I can't leave him in there to rot away," I told him, a shiver passing down me I thought about having to betray our secret to all these people. I couldn't even imagine the gossip that would be started because of this, but it's what I had to do. In my heart I knew that I still loved Sirius, and I had to protect him, no matter what the cost to me.

"All right then, I'll see what I can do. Now, what are you going to do about Harry?" He asked and I started relaying my plans to him. He thought that my plan to take six months off was a good one, and that finding a more suitable home would serve us well. He did suggest that we find one where there was a small Wizarding community, and I agreed to his suggestion. I then steeled myself and asked the question that I wanted to avoid, but knew that I couldn't.

"Sir, where are Jamie and Lily's bodies?"

"I took them to Hogwarts, so I knew that they'd be safe. Professor Flitwick did the charming on them, to prepare them for burial. I wasn't sure where you'd want them to be laid to rest," he explained.

"I'd like to bury them near my parents house, in the Potter family plot if I can?"

"That would be fine, but we'll need to do it under the cover of dark, and keep Harry away, just so that you will both be safe. For the time being, I'd like to leave the graves un-marked. I would hate for their bodies to be desecrated in any way by Voldemort's followers" I nodded my agreement at his requests, repulsed by the idea that someone would do anything to my brother and Lily's bodies. He then stood.

"Well, if there's nothing further, I should go and speak with the Minister of Magic about arranging a court date for Mr. Black. If I can be of any service to you or your nephew, please do not hesitate to call upon me," he added, tipping his head. "A pleasure as always, Molly." He turned and exited through the floo.

"Ellie, dear, are you sure that you're feeling all right?" Molly asked me, and I nodded at her.

"I am. I really do need to be getting on with my errands. Do you think that you'll be able to do some shopping with me later? I certainly have no idea what Harry might need," I asked and Molly came over and took my hands.

"Of course, dear. We'll go after supper. Arthur can stay home with the children. Now, do you need any money? Gringotts will be closed then."

"I don't. I had a habit of never having money when I needed it, so few years ago Jamie bought me a never empty money satchel. It's tied to my vault, and I'm never without money. More than once I had to go over to his house after the bank had closed and borrow money, or see what food I could scrounge off them, as I never had food in my flat," I explained, smiling at the memory.

"_It's the third time this month, El. Not that Lily and I mind having you over, but really, how old are you? You've got a job and I know that you've got a kitchen, don't you ever eat a home?" Jamie asked me as I crossed through the lounge to the kitchen in the little house that they were leasing. Lily must have heard my voice, as she was already pulling leftovers out of the icebox and putting the reheating charm on them._

"_I'm eighteen years old, and, I loose track of time at work; and I don't have any food at home, I really don't eat there. Honestly James, if it's a problem I'll leave," I said getting angry at my brother. I turned to walk out and he stopped me. _

"_El, don't be like that. Here, sit down, enjoy your dinner. I have something for you," he told me, sounding a little remorseful at his actions, but not really. He pulled a pouch out from a drawer and tossed it at me. I could hear a jingling sound inside. "It's a never empty purse, and I tied it to the Potter vault. This way, you're never without money. If you go out into Muggle London, you can request Pounds from it as well. Don't say I never give you anything," he teased and I grinned at him._

"_What would I do without you?"_

"_Probably get into more trouble," he answered, the same way we always did. Lily set a plate of food down in front of me, and I smiled at her, smelling the wonderful aromas that the roasted chicken and vegetables let off._

"_Lily, this looks amazing," I said as I took a bite, "and it's so much better than anything I could have found at the Cauldron." I took a second forkful and relished the flavors. "Hey, if I always have money, then I won't get to come over and have your leftovers!" I complained._

"_That's the point," Jamie taunted and I threw my napkin at him._

"_You'll always be welcomed here," Lily said, giving me a pat on the back while she glared at her husband. "Remus is upstairs, and we're going to listen to the wireless tonight. Do you want to stay?"_

"_Are you getting any other company?" I wondered aloud, wary of their response._

"_No, Ellie, Sirius won't be coming over," James said, sadness in his face. I knew that it was hard on him, Sirius and I avoiding each other the way that we had. _

"_Then I'd love to stay, not like there's anything to do at my flat," I said, the sadness of my situation evident in my voice. Lily just rubbed my back and I lifted another bite of food to my mouth._

"Sorry, it just seems that everything reminds me of him," I confessed, and Molly nodded her head. "There are times that I can't...Molly I don't remember him ever not being there. He was more than my brother, he was..." I stopped again, and put my head down on the table. It hurt to breathe, like my body had somehow forgotten how to process the air that I was taking in.

"I know dear, I know. When my brothers were killed, I couldn't imagine ever wanting to leave my bed. Arthur was so patient, but I didn't want his patience or his understanding. I just wanted my brothers back," she explained and I nodded in our shared history. "Do you know what finally helped me?" I shook my head.

"My little Bill. He was only 8 months old when my brothers were killed, but I knew that I had to get up and move on, because I had him to take care of. You'll see, Harry will do the same thing for you. You've already started making plans, making sure that he lives a normal and happy life. Ellie, the pain will become manageable, and eventually, it won't be the only thing that you feel. I promise," she added while she stroked my back and I turned my head so that I could give her the faintest of smiles.

As if on cue, the back door opened, and the children paraded in, hair tossed by the wind and cheeks roseyed by the cold. Harry saw me, and toddled up.

"Ehwwie, Ehwwie," he cried as he put his arms up, wanting me to hold him. I lifted the miniature version of my brother and put him on my lap and he threw his little arms around me and nestled against my chest.

"Hawwy lub Ehwwie," he said through a yawn, and I could see that it was time for him to nap. I followed Molly upstairs, and changed his nappy and then laid him down in the little bed next to Ron's. I rubbed his back for a moment, and sang him the lullaby that I knew Lily had always sung, and it didn't take long before he rolled over onto his side and was snoring. I eased my way from the room and closed the door most of the way so that Molly could hear them if either were to awake.

I took the time to shower, and pulled my hair into a neat plait and put on my official Ministry robes. It was after two before I was back downstairs, grabbing my cloak from the peg by the door.

"I'm going in to the Ministry to request my time off, and then I need to go and fetch Remus, he should be strong enough to take him back to my flat. He can sleep off the rest of the effects of his change there," I explained.

"Would you like to bring him by for dinner, we'll have plenty?" Molly offered and I felt deep affection and gratitude for the woman. I knew of few people who would invite Remus into their homes once they knew what he was, especially ones with children.

'That's very kind of you, but he doesn't like to have people see him for another day or two. The changes, they're...hard on him." I tried to convey what I needed to without spelling out too much. Remus was often embarrassed at how he behaved and what he did to himself on nights of the full moon. It was better when Jamie or Sirius could be there with him, but Sirius had left him in the middle of the night, due to what happened to Jamie. He was liable to be worse this month than he'd been in a while.

"Well, dear, my door is always open," she promised and I was so thankful for her kindness. I wrapped my arms around her, finding the hug inadequate in conveying my feelings, but it was all that I had for her.

"Thank you. I promise that I will be back for supper." With that, I left, walking to the little lane that their house sat on and apparated away. I came in through the service entrance to the Ministry, it allowed me to avoid the general confusion of the floo hub and open apparition points. I entered the Atrium about halfway through, and immediately was struck by the general sense of merriment around me.

There were great banners hung from the rafters and enchanted fireworks were filling the upper arcs between the buttresses. As I passed, I heard conversations die down or stop all together, and people just stared at me, their faces sliding from looks of joy to ones of pity. I knew that there would be celebration at the demise of He Who Must Not Be Named, but the victory had come at quite a price. It was unfortunately one that my family had been called upon to pay dearly for.

I walked past the Magical Brethren fountain, and the memory of the first time that I'd ever seen it hit me hard. It was Christmastime, and Mummy had brought Jamie and I into London for the first time. We'd gone to Diagon Alley with her to do some shopping, and then we had come to the Ministry to have lunch in the canteen with Daddy. I was eight years old.

"_Jamie, do you think that's what Mr. Dumbledore looks like?" I asked my brother as we passed the statue of the Wizard in the center of the fountain. I was sandwiched between Mummy and Jamie._

"_Professor Dumbledore, Ellie. He's the Hogwarts Headmaster, not just Daddy's boss," Jamie corrected me. "I don't know, but I bet that he's the most amazing Wizard that's ever lived."_

"_He's not a Wizard, Jamie. He's a Warlock."_

"_That's not what he is Ellie, that's his title. He's the Chief Warlock, Daddy is the Associate Warlock," my brother explained, or at least he tried. I still didn't understand._

_As we got onto the lift, I looked at the golden man, and hoped that Mr. Dumbledore did indeed look like him._

The clanging of the lift gates closing brought me back to the present day. Gulliver, the lift operator made eye contact with me, and I was disconcerted by the look on his face.

"Miss Potter, I'm so sorry about your brother and his wife," he started, but I really didn't want to hear his condolences.

"Thank you Gulliver, I'm headed down to my office, thank you." I said crisply, and then turned my eyes away from him. He thankfully took the hint and didn't try to talk with me again. If too many people brought Jamie up again, I knew that I'd loose it. I wanted to get through these few minutes, and then apparate away and take care of Remus. I planned on going to the Muggle market that wasn't far from my flat as well, to pick up some necessities to take back to the Weasley's house. If they were going to be feeding Harry and I, the least I could do was bring some supplies.

We arrived on my floor, and I exited the lift quickly and walked down the long corridor that lead to the Experimental and Developmental Medical Potions Lab. There were only seven of us that worked here, most of the work was done in St. Mungo's. This lab was strictly for research purposes, nothing that we developed would be used on a Witch or Wizard anytime soon. I appreciated that most of the people who worked here were quiet and kept to themselves, in fact, other than their names, I could tell you little about anyone's lives.

I walked through the small door that differentiated the only individual office in the lab. Prentiss Rand ran our department and he did so with a detached efficiency that I appreciated. He was seated at his desk, scrolls of parchment spread across it, and his _Apothecaries Handbook of Potion Components_ hovering nearby. He was deep in research mode again, but as to what he was trying to research I had no idea. I cleared my throat at the threshold of the office.

"Ellie, I wasn't expecting to see you in for at least a few days," he said getting up from his desk. Prentiss was at least 15 years older than I was, and stood at about the same height as I. His face was round and rudy and he wore his glasses far down on the tip of his nose. He'd gained some weight, but refused to wear robes that truly fit his size, so he perpetually looked like an overstuffed pillow. He'd been rather insistent about inviting me out for drinks or to dinner the first year or so that I worked here, and my constant refusals didn't seem to dissuade him. It only ended after Remus came to visit me at work, and I left for the day with him. Prentiss assumed that he and I were a couple, and I felt no reason to correct his assumption.

"I'm not here to work, sir. I need to take a leave from my position, in order to get my affairs in order. I have been charged with taking care of my nephew, and there is nothing about my home or my life that is conducive to caring for a toddler. I've never taken a holiday since I started here, and I know that I have at least three months of leave accrued. Additionally, I'd like to take another three of unpaid leave," I told him and he nodded at me.

"While we'll miss you, however I understand. If you could write all of that out for me, I'll take care of the rest," he requested and I was already sliding the aforementioned scroll of parchment from within my robes and handing it to him. In one of my insomnia racked nights of the summer after we left school, I had read the entire Ministry Employee Handbook to pass the quiet hours of night. I knew that my sudden guardianship of my nephew entitled me to three months unpaid leave, the same as if I'd given birth. My head made some rather twisted remarks at the irony of the situation.

"I hope that once I'm settled that I'll be able to continue my work at home. I feel close to a breakthrough, I just can't quite figure out what's missing," I told him and Prentiss took of his glasses and looked at me with affirmation.

"Ellie, no one else will touch your work while you're gone. To be honest, none of us understand it. Is there anything that will need to be done? Do you have anything fermenting or stabilizing back there?"

"No, sir. I was back to the proverbial drawing board. I am going to get my notes, and a few of my books and take them with me. Doing research may help me take my mind off.."

"Go ahead. Tell me when you're leaving," he requested. I turned to leave and I heard his voice again. "I don't need to tell you that we're all so very sorry about what happened, your brother was a good man, and everyone in this department appreciated the skill and dedication of your sister-in-law." Lily had worked in St. Mungo's as a Medicinal Potions Master and James had worked in the Department of Mysteries as an Enchantments Specialist. Everyone here knew of them from their comings and goings. I was thankful that I hadn't turned to look at him for this last uttering. Tears were again flowing, and I was powerless to stop them.

I gathered my things, trying to forget the fact that half of my research books had come from my brother, things that he'd picked up for me over the years. I had always been gifted in potions, even as a child, brewing household necessities with my Mum. I stuffed all of the scrolls and manuscripts, texts and tomes into my Hogwarts school bag. I'd never bothered to get a new one when this one worked just fine. I reduced the entire thing and charmed it so that it wasn't too heavy and slid it into my pocket. I looked around my work station, and realized that there was nothing here that signified that it was mine, there were no pictures, no personal items; my name didn't even appear anywhere here. I waved my wand across the blackboard that held my equations, and it was instantly clean and wiped clear.

I walked back through the lab, bid my goodbyes to the department head, and walked away from my office. A small voice in my head openly wondered if I would ever come back, and I knew that I didn't have an answer to that question.

I walked briskly back through the Atrium, and apparated at the first free platform. I turned out of the trip at the foot of the wooded trail that lead to the cabin. The building was on Potter family land, out in the Lake District. At one point, it had been a base for hunting expeditions, but my father had said the family had long ago abandoned the practice. Jamie and I had requested that we use it as a safe place for Remus to endure the full moon, once we had left Hogwarts. Mummy and Daddy had agreed, and each month, Jamie or Sirius would apparate out to this secluded place with Remus and then Lily or I would come and help heal him and give him his potions.

As I neared the small house, I could see his form slumped in the old rocker on the porch of the small house. There was a brisk chill in the air, and I wouldn't have been surprised to feel cold raindrops begin pelting me any minute, and I hoped that he'd put a warming charm on himself. When he saw me he stood and lifted his hand, not quite a wave; more of a half hearted salute. The steps to the cabin seemed to take forever, the closer I got, the harder it was to lift my feet and propel myself forward. I was still at least ten feet away when he chose to start speaking to me.

"Please, please tell me that it was a mistake. Please tell me that...that Mad Eye was wrong when he came to tell me," Remus begged and I could make myself speak. I began crying again and I felt so stupid for weeping the way I had been. I didn't say a word, I just climbed the stairs and wrapped my arms around my remaining friend.

We held each other, and wept. Eventually, I was able to make myself speak. "Come on, I'm going to take you home."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

**Hope in the Morning**

I was sitting alone on the cold, hard ground in the pitch dark of night. We'd come at one in the morning to bury Jamie and Lily. There was nothing marking that these were their graves, but I would always know. Twelve paces from the Willow Tree was my brother's spot; Lily was another 6 paces to the left. I hoped that once things had calmed down, I would be able to come back and place a marker here. Jamie deserved better than an unmarked grave.

"Ellie, we need to be leaving, it's nearly daybreak," Remus said behind me. I couldn't for all the gold in my vault bring myself to stand and begin walking away. Jamie was here, how could I leave him this way. I didn't want to live, but I also knew that I couldn't die; I had Harry to think about. What little bit of me that still felt anything was shutting down, and I worried about that little boy. "Arthur is ready to take you back to his house."

"I understand. Mus, do you think he's cold? Do you think that it's cold to be under all of that dirt?" I questioned, my mind couldn't wrap itself around my brother being in the hard, late fall chilled ground.

"El, I don't think that he feels anything but Lily's arms around him, now. She was always the only thing that he needed, and they're together now." Remus' words were somehow comforting; to think of James and Lily in an eternal embrace. I remember the first time that I caught them snogging. It was the fall of our seventh year, and Jamie had been trying to get her to date him for three years. I couldn't find my Transfigurations essay, and I had a feeling that either my boyfriend or my brother had taken it to copy. I knocked on the door to the boys dormitory, and when there was no answer, I opened it. I screeched at what I saw.

"_Ha! I knew it. All that, 'he's just so rude' was a ruse, Lily Evans," I screamed at my roommate. She and Jamie were on his bed, engaged in some rather passionate full frontal snogging. "Congrats, Jamie!"_

"_Ellie, you can't say anything," Lily begged. Jamie just laid there, looking like the proverbial cat that ate the canary._

"_Why? You were snogging my brother, and believe me, you look like you've been at it a while. Oh, wait until Sirius and Remus hear..."_

"_Ellie, please, I don't want any one to know." That made me mad. I put my hands on my lips and looked at her._

"_Why? Isn't my brother good enough for you?"_

"_It's not that, it's just...it's special. I don't want..." she said softly, and I started dancing around the room._

"_Lily loves Jamie, Lily loves Jamie."_

"Come on, let's get you to bed," Remus voice brought me back to the cold November night. "You've got a big week ahead of you," he said, gently putting his hands under my arms and lifting me up. "Tell me about the house you found."

"It's a Muggle house, but it's away from the town by a fair bit, so it won't be too difficult to have us live there. Molly and I walked by it that night we went shopping, and I fell in love with it," I explained. I'd seen the house, went to the bank the next day and inquired about purchasing it. The place was empty, so I would be closing on it by the end of this week. "There are four bedrooms, so you've got your own space at my house, now. I'm going to need your help," I added quietly. I didn't really want to think about what it would be like to be living with a toddler, all alone.

"That's very gracious of you, Ellie," Remus commented, and I was again reminded that he didn't see himself as being worthy of our friendship.

"No, it really isn't. I can't raise Harry by myself, I'm not...Harry needs someone around him that isn't all broken and...we'll need you Mus," I whispered.

"You're not broken, Ellie. You just...it shouldn't have ever been this hard on you. I believe that it will work out in the end. He hurts as bad as you do," he told me, but I somehow found it hard to believe. I hadn't ever done anything to cause the rite to activate.

"Thank you for saying that, even if I'm not sure that I believe it anymore." We were quiet, and we met back up with Professor Dumbledore, Arthur and a rather battle worn man that Remus referred to Mad Eye. "Thank you, for all of your help. Jamie and Lily would have been touched by your ..." a sob broke my sentence, and Mus wrapped me in his arms and I started to sob again. I didn't want to go on, I didn't want to do this without Jamie. I had nearly given up when our parents had died, it was only because of him that I was able to continue on.

"_Ellie, are you in here?" Jamie called up, I was sitting in the attic at our home. We had just buried Daddy next to Mummy. I loved my parents, but I was so very close to my father. I knew that he had been disappointed in some of the choices that I'd made, and I had always dreamed that one day I would be vindicated in his eyes. Now he and Mummy were gone._

"_I am," I muttered down at him, and Jamie climbed the ladder up. I had their old trunk open, looking at their things from Hogwarts and when they were first married. Jamie sat down next to me, and wrapped his long arm around me. I reached in and pulled out a pin. "I'd forgotten that Daddy was Head Boy too," I muttered. We pulled out yellowed pictures and old scraps of parchment, looking at what they'd written on essays, and wondered why they'd kept them. When we reached the bottom of the trunk, there was a pink box, tied with a white ribbon. I started putting things back on the top of it, but Jamie stopped me._

"_El, there's something else in here," he said, reaching for the box._

"_Don't. I know what's in there, please don't take it out."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Mummy wedding dress, the Hightower dress. I can't look at it, maybe you and Lily will have a little girl someday, and you can let her wear it. Please Jamie, just put it somewhere that I won't ever find it."_

"_I'll put it in the vault tomorrow," he promised. The silence that engulfed us was overwhelming. It was like there was a pink spotted dragon in the room, but neither of us were going to talk about it._

"_Jamie, I'm all alone. I knew that Daddy was sick, but, oh God, Jamie. There's no one left. I just want to die, please, please can't I just stop living?" I fell into my brother sobbing. It felt like the world have caved in on me, and all I had for years to come was emptiness and monotony. _

"_Ellie, honey, you're not alone. You've got Lily and I, we will always love you and have a place for you. And El, I know that you don't want to hear it, but Sirius still loves you. He's downstairs ripping his hair out with worry about why you disappeared. You know that, right?" Jamie's fingers ran through my hair and down my back, rubbing it the same way he did when I'd had a nightmare as a child. _

"_I...Jamie I can't let myself love him...he's..." I stuttered between my sobs._

"_I know, El. I know." He rocked me for a long while, just like he did when he would check under my bed for boggarts. I've got a secret for you," he told me, and I righted myself to look at him. "Lily and I are going to need your help, she's going to have a baby. What do you say, Aunt Ellie? Good enough proof that life needs to go on?" I hugged my big brother, knowing that he and Lily were looking forward to starting their family. "The baby is going to need Aunt Ellie," he promised me._

I hadn't realized that we'd apparated back to the Burrow. Arthur must have picked me up to bring me back here, because he came through the front door, warmly greeted by Molly, and then carried me directly up to the room that I was sleeping in. Molly poured a potion down my throat and I curled up on my side and quickly fell asleep.

Time passed quicker once we'd buried Jamie and Lily, it was like I knew that they'd moved on, so I didn't feel so tied to them, or something. I had dreamt of them the night before Harry and I were to move into our little house. They told me that they were so happy that Harry would have a home with me, and they promised me that they would still be with me, guiding me to help their son grow. I awoke the morning of the move not dreading the daybreak for the first time since Harry had been laid in my arms that night. I threw on my old Quidditch jersey, Jamie's was only for sleeping in, and a pair of ripped jeans and pulled my hair back in a scarf to keep it out of my way. I looked at my face for the first time in what seemed like forever, and was surprised how drawn I looked. My skin looked pale, the rosiness of my cheeks was gone, and even my lips were now just a pale pink. My greenish-gray eyes looked glassed over and there were dark circles under them. I lifted the ends of my hair, and examined it. My father had always called my hair spun gold, not it just looked like dead wheat. My body was suffering as badly as my heart was, it would seem.

I'd closed on the house a week ago, and Professor Dumbledore had insisted that house be warded before Harry, Remus and I could move in. He was keeping us under the Fidelus Charm until he was sure that the danger was gone. I couldn't help but wonder if the Muggles would notice that where there once had been a pretty little cottage on the lane into town, there was now just a field.

Remus and I had gone to my parents house, that was then Jamie and Lily's house before they'd gone into hiding, and collected as many things for my house as we could. We'd been able to get enough furniture to take care of the bedrooms, as well as a dining set and several chairs for the lounge. I'd also taken some of James and Lily's personal things, and packed them away in a trunk. Harry would want his parents wedding quilt and their mementos from Hogwarts, someday. What I wasn't able to 'borrow' from my childhood home, I went and purchased. Only the fourth bedroom wasn't furnished, I really wasn't sure what we were going to do with it.

It wasn't going to take us long to move in, Harry and I had few things at the Weasley's home. We'd been with them for a little less than a month, and we'd already promised that we'd be back for Sunday dinners and to spend Christmas with them.

"Molly, I can't even begin to thank you for everything that you've taught me. You have opened your heart and your home to us, thank you," I told the woman as I hugged her tightly.

"My dear girl, it was nothing. You and Harry are family, please don't forget that. Oh, and Ellie, have faith. Love is more powerful than anything," she told me, patting my cheek. I'd told Molly more about Sirius than I'd even told my Mum. She seemed to believe in her heart that true love was something real, rather than the stuff of fairy tales.

"How about if you believe for both of us?" I asked her.

"For now, I think that will be enough. Make sure that we know when Sirius has his hearing. We'll be there for you," she promised and I hugged her again.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Professor Dumbledore had shared the secret of my home's location with Arthur and Molly and with Arthur holding the single shared trunk that held all of Harry's and my possessions and I holding my nephew, we apparated to the little house in the valley. Remus was already at the house, somewhere, when we arrived.

Arthur carried the trunk upstairs, and I took Harry into the lounge where his toys were. Professor Dumbledore was also there waiting in the lounge for us.

"Boom, Boom, Ehwwie," Harry asked, pointing at his broom on the top shelf of the cupboard.

"Brooms are for outside, Harry. We won't be flying in the house," I explained.

"Doggie boom house?" He asked me.

"Yes, well," I sighed. "Uncle Sirius isn't here right now, so there won't be any flying in the house." Professor Dumbledore chuckled at me and we watched as Harry went to play with his stuffed dragons. "Have you had any word when Sirius' hearing will be?"

"Ellie, there's been a small glitch. The team leader from the Hit Squad is opposing the hearing. It's in part my own fault, it was on my intelligence that they went after Sirius, and they don't want to open themselves to the accusations that they didn't have adequate evidence on which to take him in. I'll continue to work with them, it's simply politics." I nodded at him, I hate politics more than anything, having watched my father navigate them for years. "Additionally, we're meeting resistance from Sirius' family."

"Let me guess, his mother is more than willing to let him rot in jail?" I asked, knowing that Walburga Black didn't have a nurturing bone in her body. The Professor nodded at me and I sat down, disbelieving how a mother could be that heartless.

"It would seem that Rosemund is quite happy to have Sirius out of the house as well," he informed me and I shook my head at the situation. Rosemund had come close to publicly flaunting her infidelities to Sirius, he was magically bound to be faithful to her, due to the way his father had created their marriage contract. She was under no such obligation, and made full advantage of it. I didn't doubt that having him out of the house and away from the bank accounts would be a holiday for her. Arthur returned from upstairs and Remus came in from the small kitchen carrying a tray with afternoon tea on it. After we had all been served, the Professor went back to talking.

"I don't believe that I'll be able to secure a hearing date before the calendar year ends," he told me sadly, and I broke down into tears over the idea of Sirius enduring Azkaban. "I've been to visit him several times, I retain the prerogative, as Chief Warlock. If it's any consolation, he's found a remarkable way to deal with the Dementors, Ellie. He said that the only drawback was the fleas. I assume you know what that means?"

I smiled at the idea, and looked at Remus. "We do sir, I'm sorry that, well..." I trailed off. I remembered the first time that I learned that Jamie and Sirius had mastered the Animagus transformation. _It was a cloudy day, nearing the end of our summer jaunt to the Isle of Wight, Mum was in the house there, packing things up and getting ready to return to Leeds. We would be returning to Hogwarts for our fifth year in less than two weeks. Jamie and Sirius had been spending a great deal of time together this summer, which was fine with me; I was happy that Jamie had accepted Sirius and my relationship. I didn't need to be with them all day, every day like I had when we were children. I spent most nights with Sirius anyway, when he's snook out of his parents home and into my bedroom. We laid on my bed, fully clothed most nights, talking until we fell asleep. Sirius wasn't going to his parents house for the last few weeks before school, he was coming home with us._

_For some reason, a feeling of melancholy had slipped over me this summer, and it wasn't just that my father was feeling ill. Fifteen was the Age of Announcement, and I had seen Sirius' betrothal on the roster. My father had promised me that he would take care of it, should Sirius and I still want to marry one day, when we were closer to being of legal age. My father could do anything in my eyes, but seeing him ill and frail this summer had made me nervous._

_I was lying in the rushes not far from the pond, thinking about the entire betrothal process. My parents had never had any intention of forcing either my brother or I to marry for money or power. Their parents had been revolutionary, by not requiring that their children have arranged marriages. There had been some rather disastrous matches in both the Potter and Hightower families, and their fathers were determined to make sure that it didn't happen again. The fact that the two were friends only seemed to bolster their resolve to go against the system. The did joke in later years that if they'd believed in the system, my parents would have been matched anyway. Quinlan and Margaret, or Maggie as everyone called her, seemed destined to fall in love anyway._

_When a pure blood, or even a child was born with a Muggle grandparent (but not more than one, that would mean their blood was too tainted), their name went on the "Registry of Worthy Births". Families could review the birth records, and begin jockeying for betrothals at that point, but nothing could officially be arranged until the child was between the ages of eight and ten, the Age of Arrangement. The ideal match would be with a child who was within a few years of your own, so that there wasn't a large lag between when they would reach the Age of Legality at seventeen._

_The Age of Announcement was at fifteen, and it was at this point where one or both families would announce their child's betrothal publicly. There were often newspaper announcements, and for very high profile arrangements, parties and celebrations were held. It had been through the __Prophet__ that Sirius and I had learned of his engagement to Rosemund Rowle, daughter of a known Death Eater. If Sirius' birthday hadn't been in October, and he was at school, his family would have held a large celebration for them. Rosemund was a year older, and had to wait until Sirius was of age to have her arrangement announced. The day the article appeared in the paper, she was flitting around the Slytherin table, accepting congratulations and well wishes. I felt like the earth had dropped out from underneath me._

_Law stipulated that the Betrothal could be broken any time between the fifteenth and seventeenth birthdays; but there would be restitution that would need to be paid. Once both parties were seventeen, the contract would be legally binding, with horrid consequences: breaking of the wand and the inability to ever have a marriage recognized by the Ministry of Magic._

_My thoughts were broken by a sound off to my left. I rolled and looked through the rushes, and saw a large black dog staring at me. He was gently sniffing the air, and looking at me. I sat up and watched as the dog ambled forward, and laid down at my side, placing its head in my lap. There was a general sense of contentment while I petted the dog, wondering where its owner was. It wasn't until a rather large deer followed the dogs path that I began to get suspicious. Deer weren't known to travel out into the rushes during daylight hours, and this one kept parading around me. I was beginning to worry that something might be wrong with it, like it was ill or something, when no longer was there a deer and dog by me; but rather Jamie and Sirius. When I got over the shock of it all, the began explaining to me how they had mastered the magic and why._

"_Honestly, you're telling me that it took you two years to come to the conclusion that your roommate was a werewolf?" I questioned my brother, astounded at his denseness._

"_Well, yeah, Ellie. When did you suspect?"_

"_About half way through our first year. I mean really, he ended up in the hospital ward with a rather vague illness every month, for two or three days. It didn't take me long to figure out that it had to do with the lunar cycle," I explained and they both were in shock. "It's got to be a girl thing; from rather young we're taught to count days each month."_

"_Why would you need to do that, Lolly?" Sirius asked and I looked at him incredulously, hoping that he'd catch on soon. When he didn't I just leaned over and kissed him._

"_It's a good thing that you have to take that special class with Professors Flitwick and Slughorn this fall. After they've gone over the whole "birds and the bees" thing with you, we'll talk." _

"_Oh," it dawned on Sirius and he blushed. "You mean, when you just want to lie around and each chocolate..."_

"_Yes, love, congratulations on figuring that one out," I patted him on the back. "So, Jamie, you going to teach me how to do that?" I asked my brother hopefully. He nodded at me, because we shared everything._

"I'm sorry sir, it would seem that the smallest things seem to trigger memories in me. So, Sirius is surviving? He isn't...please tell me he isn't suffering," I begged.

"Ellie, I swear to you that while it isn't a walk in the park, he is by no means being driven insane as so many are by the Dementors. If you'd like, I could take you with me?" He asked and I nodded my head. At this point, I really didn't care what Rosemund thought, I knew where the line was, and as long as we didn't cross it, she had no recourse against Sirius.

When we'd concluded tea, Arthur returned home, but made me promise that if there was anything that we needed, or if we had any questions, that we'd contact them immediately. I agreed, and shortly thereafter, the Hogwarts Headmaster bid us goodbye as well. We were alone, Remus, Harry and I; and the weight of being the primary caregiver for my young nephew bore down upon me.

"Well, we've got things that need to be unpacked before Harry can take his nap this afternoon," I announced, deciding that productive work made much more sense than just laying my head upon the sofa and weeping. "I have a bit of time before lunch, how about if I unpack while you keep Harry here company?"

"That sounds like a plan, Ellie," Remus announced and I nodded at him and headed upstairs. Arthur had left the trunk in the Master bedroom, my bedroom. I had tried to get Remus to take it, since he would need to spend so much time healing after his monthly episodes and the attached loo had a large tub; but he insisted that since it was my home, I should have the largest bedroom.

Harry's bedroom had all the furniture from Jamie's old bedroom, what would have been his bedroom as he grew up in my parents old home. I brought everything, the wall hangings and curtains, Jamie's Quidditch trophies, his pictures of Sirius and I as children and all the things that were Harry's too, his special blanket from his baptism, and anything that hadn't been taken with them into hiding. That classified most things, as they'd had to leave for Godric's Hollow rather quickly. The furniture for Remus and my bedrooms consisted of things that my parents had put into the attic when they'd sold the summer house. Our pieces were mismatched, but it didn't seem to matter, it wasn't like we were going to have a whole lot of house guests, since we were under the Fidelus Charm.

I walked through the room, and sat on the edge of the bed. I had tried to get Remus to take this particular bed, but he insisted that I be the one who had it, the headboard was decorated with intricate twisted branches and the posts were carved into pine cone shapes. I ran my fingers over it, trying to not think about sleeping in this bed.

_I slipped from my room, and pad down the hall on my tiptoes, opening the door two rooms down, and eased myself in. I was wearing a very short nightgown that really didn't cover much, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. We'd decided what we were going to do, we were going to be together forever, seeing me less than fully dressed was part of that choice. I pulled down the sheet and slid myself into the soft pocket and nuzzled myself next to Sirius._

_I was surprised to find him in nothing but his knickers, and I decided not to look, really, much. We hadn't done much beyond caressing, mostly over our clothes; not for lack of desire, but, instead for a paralyzing fear. The only people that either of us had ever dated were each other, but we only knew what to do from books and rumors in the dorm. Furthermore, there was the problem that I was in love with my brother's best mate. Sirius stirred next to me, rolling his head and opening his eyes. He was clearly surprised to find me in his bed._

_Sirius had a room at my parents summer house, as he'd refused to go into his father's house. Mr. Black was adamant about not breaking the marriage contract that he'd set for Sirius when he was a child. My father was spending the summer trying to find a way around it, but I already knew what we'd do if Dad couldn't make him change his mind._

"_Lolly, what are you doing here?" Sirius asked groggily. We'd shared my bed the whole last summer, but we'd always been dressed and on top of the blankets. This was different, more intimate._

"_Sharing a bed with the one I'm going to marry," I told him as I leaned over to kiss him._

"_But, I'm not dressed."_

"_Neither am I. Be quiet Sirius and go back to sleep," I told him, and he lifted his arm so that I could snuggle against him, his hand going to my hair, to play with it as he fell back asleep. I went to sleep looking at the branches twined together in the wood above me, knowing, that's how our lives now were._

I got up and levitated the trunk onto the bed, unpacking my things, and placing them into the drawers of the window seat and then hanging the few things that needed it in the wardrobe. I'd shrunk all of my work clothes and put them away on the top shelf, because I wouldn't be wearing them soon.

I then took the trunk to Harry's room and put his things away. I shrunk the trunk and stowed it high in Harry's wardrobe, as he had more storage room in his than I had in mine. As I headed back down the hall to the stairs, I checked the loo, to make sure that it had towels and supplies, and then peeked my head into Remus' room, finding that he too had unpacked, and it looked like people were living here. I finally peeked my head into the empty room, it was large and bright and had windows that looked out over the back yard. I closed the door again, not knowing what we were going to do with it, but glad to know that we had room to grow, if we ever needed it.

With Molly's help, I'd finally learned to cook a little in the last month. I wasn't ready to cook a fancy holiday meal, but I knew enough to feed Harry every day, and make sure that he was eating things that were healthy and nutritious. I'd even been able to make a reasonable Toad In A Hole for dinner, and was quite pleased with the results. My Mum would have been so happy to have seen me in the kitchen, doing anything domestic.

We were in the Lounge after supper, and Harry began pointing at his broom again.

"Ehwwie, boom, pwease," Harry begged and I looked at Remus.

"I can't believe that Jamie and Lily let him fly in the house, even if Sirius had started the practice," I told Remus and he smiled at me.

"Sirius tends to get what he wants, even Lily wasn't immune to his smile," Remus reminded me and I was compelled to smile at the idea of Sirius charming Lily on behalf of Harry.

"Pwease, Mus. Hawwy boom," Harry tried pleading with Remus.

"Harry, there just isn't room here, you're liable to knock into something, or get hurt," I tried to explain to the toddler, but he really wanted to fly.

"Hawwy good, boom, boom."

"You know, El, we have a whole empty room upstairs," Remus suggested and I could see that the little boy had gotten to his uncle. I shook my head at him.

"You know, Mus, we're really going to have to get firmer with him, or he's going to walk all over us someday. Come on Harry, let's go upstairs and you can fly in the empty bedroom." I got up and grabbed the broom from off the top shelf and watched as he climbed the stairs on both his hands and feet. It took only moments before he was zooming around the room.

"He's quite a natural," Remus remarked.

"Just like his Daddy," I said, my heart again heavy at missing Jamie.

"I seem to remember that you were both quite a force to be reckoned with. Our chasers were hard to beat," Remus said with a smile.

"Yeah, well, when they'd all been playing with each other since they were seven, it was easy for us to predict what would happen, and where the other one would be," I responded. Jamie, Sirius and I had been the teams Chasers, and we were fairly unstoppable.

"How old were you when you started flying?" Remus asked as we were buzzed by the little 16 month old on his broom.

"Jamie was about 2 and a half, I wasn't even two yet. Daddy put us on brooms at the same time. We always flew together..." I told him, having to fight back new tears. I left him alone with Harry, and went and hid in the loo, wondering how I was going to raise a child who reminded me constantly, of everything that I'd lost.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

**A Cold Christmas**

I huddled close to Albus Dumbledore as we crossed from the dock to the main building of Azkaban. I knew that my father had been here several times, as the Associate Warlock, but I couldn't imagine it, it was worse than anything that I'd had in my nightmares over the last weeks. I could see the Dementors flying over head, and I felt like a small child standing there, unsure of what I was to be doing or why exactly I was doing this to myself. More than once I could spy the old man looking down at me and smiling.

"What is it, sir?"

"Ellie, the Dementors aren't even coming close to you. I wonder if you're being is already so sad, they don't think that there's anything there for them to feast upon?" He mused and it make me a little happy to know that there was finally a bright spot from all this pain that I'd been in.

He checked us in, clearly using his considerable pull to get me into see a prisoner. We were escorted down a dark hallway to the cell at the very end. It felt wet, even though we were inside and I could taste the salt in the air from being out in the sea. It wasn't tangy and enticing like the air at our summer house, this air was foul and bitter. Dumbledore lit his wand, and I was sure that I saw things scampering away along the walls, trying to cling to the darkness. I was thankful that the guards hadn't fully checked my pockets, or they would have found the food and warm clothing that I'd shrunk and stowed in my garments to leave with Sirius. I also had some pictures that Harry had made him, scribbles really, but I knew that he'd love them because they were from his godson. Harry missed his Doggy, and kept wondering when he'd be to visit. Remus was with him while I was here, and we didn't tell him where I was going.

When we reached the cell, I could see him huddling in the corner, covered by shadows. Professor Dumbledore cast some privacy charms and then called out to him. He'd transformed into his Animagus form, and I was hoping that it provide him not only some warmth, but also some peace from this place. I could quite literally feel the bits of my wounded heart break as I saw him there. If I had been thinking about it clearly, I would have realized that I let myself feel my love for him for the first time in three years, four months and twenty-eight days.

"Sirius, it's Albus. I've come to discuss your case with you, and I've brought a friend," he explained, and the big black dog lifted his head and looked in our direction. Immediately, a haggard and dirty man was before me, glaring at our former Headmaster.

"Why did you bring her here? This isn't any place for her!"

"Sirius, do you really think that I'm here against my will? I couldn't not be here... you're..." I stopped speaking as he reached through the narrow bars and placed his hand on my cheek. I brought my hands up to hold onto his, one over his hand, the other on his wrist, relishing the first real comfort I'd felt in so long. After a moment I reached for his scruffy face as well, just wanting to touch him. "Let me look at you, and see what I can do to help."

I lifted my wand and began to clean him, and heal the small cuts and scars that were all over his hands, arms and face. They looked like he'd been pawing at himself. "Fleas?"

"How did you know?" He asked with a smile.

"I remember when Jamie gave the magical ones to you in our third year. You looked much the same." I charmed them off of him, and then coated him in a flea repellant spell that I'd created that same year. "It's not permanent, but it should hold for a while. I have some things here for you," I told him, taking the package of food out of my robes and returning it to size. He greedily ate it down, and I filled the cup I stowed in my robes again and again with water. He opened the package with a sweater and woolen socks from Remus and laughed and then nearly broke down at the scribbles from his godson. I'd brought a hat and gloves, clean knickers which I saw him blush at and enough food for a while, all of it things that would keep, like dried fruit or granola. Molly had helped me pack it in some Muggle containers made of something called plastic, it was to help keep the moisture out. We'd gotten them in town while we were shopping, knowing that conventional things would spoil and rot.

"What's the word? Has my mother relented?" Sirius finally was able to ask the Professor. We had both come to sit on either side of the bars, sitting side by side, so that it felt like we were next to each other, rather than leaning on cold metal bars. I had both of my hands through the slats so that I could hold his cold ones. I could get more of my arms through than he could. I told him to slip the gloves on, but he wanted to feel my touch. I knew that I was going to be in so much pain when I had to leave him, it was easier on me when I went without being around him, without touching him; but right now he needed the comfort, and I would do anything to give it to him.

"It's out of her hands. The Minister of Magic has ordered that you have a hearing, and no one, not Cornelius Fudge or your Mother can stop," he explained proudly. "It's been scheduled for the twelfth of January. I'm sorry that I can't make it sooner, but with the holiday right around the corner, there wasn't time."

"It's fine, I have a date, and with any luck, I won't be coming back here." Sirius said, looking up at the old Wizard. He kept stroking the backs of my hands with his thumbs, as if I were the one who needed comfort. "Tell me about him?" He asked, again looking at me and I knew that he was speaking of Harry.

"He's doing really well, and I think that he likes living in the little house that I bought. His room is a bright blue and I brought over all the things from his Daddy's old room, and you should see him on his broom, it's...when we get you out of here, you'll see. He asks for his Mummy and Daddy, but it's getting less, I think over time he'll understand. He asks for you, daily. I keep telling him that as soon as you can, you'll be there to see him. Only a few more weeks, I promise I will get you out of here." I told him, and I could see his eyes narrow.

"Ellie," he dragged the word out, as if he was forming a thought while he was speaking. "Please, don't do anything..."

"I'm only doing what's within my power. The Potter name still carries a great deal of respect in the Wizarding World, and I will not let you stay in here one minute longer than necessary. To hell with Walburga and Rosemund!"

"That's my girl," he said affectionately and I closed my eyes to hold back the tears that I could feel prickling my eyes.

"We should be going you two, however I'll give you a moments privacy, but then we must be leaving, Ellie. Don't want to overstay our welcome here," Dumbledore told us, and he slipped through his own charms and Sirius and I were alone. We knew exactly how affectionate we could be without triggering the charm that his the marriage contract carried. We turned so that we were facing each other. I wove my fingers through his and stared into his eyes, trying to convey everything without saying the words.

"I won't take it any longer, Lolly. You're the only one who has cared for me, and..." he started to cry. His tears broke my heart, but I needed to be strong for him. I could fall apart later.

"Sirius, please stop. Don't let the Dementors have any ammunition against you, please my darling. It will be all right, trust me. Know that I carry you in my heart," I whispered to him. He removed one hand from mine and brought his fingers to his lips and then gently pressed them to mine. It was if I could feel his lips against me again, and I instantly warmed at the contact. I did the same for him, and I could see the happiness dissolve his tears. "Think on this, and only this, we will figure out a way to be a family, I promise you."

"Ionúin" he whispered.

"Ionúin, go deo" I responded, using the gaelic words that concluded the ancient rite by which we had tied our hearts and bodies together. _Beloved, beloved forever. _ We pressed our foreheads against each other through the bars and I could feel my body calling for his. I wanted him to change back before I left, so that my departure wouldn't be so painful for him. "Go on now, change back and rest." We stood up, and he gathered his items and hid them under the pallet that I assumed was supposed to be his bed. When he moved it, I saw a roughly hewn hole in the floor of the cell, and he slid all of the things in, and then replaced the pallet on top.

He did what I asked, changed into his dog form, and when the Professor slipped back into his own wards, and I watched as he curled himself up in the corner again. I did a quick cleaning of the cell and then warded the walls as best as I could to keep the cold and vermin out. My former teacher put his arm around me and lead me away, but I could hear the howl that Sirius let out as we left. He'd given voice to the pain that both of us were sharing. I didn't want to loose it now, I desperately wanted to make it back to my own home and to curl up in the tub in my loo and weep until the water had gone cold, but I wasn't sure that I had the strength to do it.

As we exited, the Dementors once again left us alone, and I was thankful for it; although if I were truthful, I couldn't imagine any memory that they would replay for me that hurt as badly as this, except for maybe one, and it was the only day that I could not remember, Jamie had taken it from me; and now with him dead, it was gone forever. It was the day that we knew that Sirius was forced to marry Rosemund, and I would be destined to live alone. My brother had removed the memory, in hopes that the torment that I felt that day would be gone too. Instead, the emotions remained, with nothing to attach themselves to. I never did tell him that I thought he'd done more damage than good, because there was no way that I'd ever heal without knowing why I hurt.

Christmas was a few days later, and while I would have enjoyed a quiet day home with my two guys, it appeared as if Molly Weasley had other plans. When we'd arrived back from Azkaban, I found Molly in my lounge, playing with Harry, Ron and Ginny, Remus was sitting reading, but he'd clearly been home the whole time, waiting for me to return. The looks of pity in both of their eyes was overwhelming, and I just wanted to be alone.

Molly explained that she was preparing today's lunch, and that I should go and change out of my dirty things, and relax for a while, she'd take care of Harry. I didn't have the strength left to argue with her. With the two adults downstairs I knew that I had a little while to myself. I put a silencing charm on the room, stripped out of the clothes that had gotten grimy and dirty in my short time at Azkaban, and climbed onto my bed, throwing Jamie's jersey over me. I laid there and wept, my body shaking and convulsing in pain I hadn't felt in years -- I'd opened myself up to love and now, I was paying the price. I wasn't surprised when the older woman came into the room an hour later, took me in her arms and rocked my like my mother had. I needed a mother, I needed to be taken care of as much as little Harry did today. Molly had made sure that it happened.

After my tears were dried, and I'd taken a soothing bath that she'd put something into to make it smell wonderful, she plied me with some potions and gotten me to eat a little, I came downstairs to talk with her and Remus while the children were napping. Molly told me that we would be expect at her home at ten o'clock sharp, Christmas morning, and we were spending the day. She began rattling off what she was cooking for the brunch as well as Christmas dinner so quickly that I didn't have time to tell her that I thought it would be best if we'd stayed home instead.

Spending Christmas with the Weasley's was unlike anything Remus and I had ever imagined. He was an only child, I only had my brother, so the day was always rather quiet. As a child, my parents were rather insistent that the day was not only about getting, but also about giving back. Jamie and I had never wanted for anything; there were things that we'd desired, of course, but both the Hightower and Potter families were rather affluent, and seeing as Mum and Dad were the sole heirs to their family holdings, we had never questioned having the funds for anything. However, my parents saw this as a duty rather than a privilege. Because we would never need anything, my father insisted that we spread our good fortune around, and every year on Christmas Day, we would go and spend it in the children's wing at St. Mungo's.

Mummy would take Jamie and I out shopping in Hogsmeade and we'd buy them toys and other special treats and Mummy would select a new gown or pajamas or maybe a robe or sweater for them; so that they'd have something special to wear for the holiday. We'd go and take our games or other toys and spend the day. It wasn't until I was older and Daddy had died that I learned that he also had a deposit made into their parents Gringotts account, anonymously. We always had extras, so that any child who was there by emergency would have a special holiday as well. It made the day different, quieter; and Jamie and I always knew just how lucky we were, and how it wasn't about how many things we had.

The Weasley's didn't have the money that my family had, but they did have love and while it was a different experience than mine had been, I was happy that this was what Harry was enjoying this year. I was inwardly glad that Molly had insisted I come when I saw their tree with all of the homemade decorations and heard the laughter echoing through the rooms, it took the sting of my loneliness away. I was watching Harry play with little Ginny, and thought about how protective he was of her. He kept trying to block her from the games that her older brothers were playing. It was endearing, and it reminded me of my brother.

"_Jamie, I want to go higher," I complained. We were out sledding on the hill behind our house, and I wanted to go to the top of the hill; Jamie was insisting that the spot we were at, only about two-thirds of the way up was more than sufficient._

"_If I let you go all the way up there, you're going to come down too quick, and you'll hurt yourself," he explained._

"_Will not," I retorted back. I thought I was so smart at nine._

"_Ellie, I tried it last year, and I got going to fast and slammed into that tree by the house. Mummy had to fix a cut on my chin, but it left this scar," he said pointing to the the little while line that ran from below his lip to his neck. "Why do you need to get hurt, if I already know it isn't smart?"_

"_Because you don't want to let me do anything," I pouted. Jamie put down his sled and put his mitten clad hands on my shoulders._

"_Ellie, you're my little sister, and I need to take care of you, it's my job. Please don't make me do it bad," he begged._

"_Fine, we'll go from here, but next year I want to do it from the top of the hill."_

"_Yes, Ellie, next year."_

Remus came over and sat down next to me, watching Harry with Ginny. I knew that we'd both been trying not to think about what was missing, but when your circle of friends goes from five to two in the blink of an eye, it's hard not to miss what's gone.

"He would have made a great big brother," he said softly, and I raised my eyes to look at him.

"They told you?"

"Yes, two days before they were killed, just before I went to the cabin. I was so happy for them." Remus was quiet quiet then. "Maybe, someday, you can give him a little sibling?" He added, in a very hushed, hopeful tone.

"Not bloody likely, my dear friend. Only one man that I can be intimate with, but if he touches me, he'll be cursed. It's quite a quandary that we've ended up with."

"That it is, Ellie. But, I have hope for the two of you. Someday..." Remus informed me, and I was surprised that he believed that one day Sirius and I would have our chance at happiness. "Are you ready to testify?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, leaning his elbow on the back of the love seat that we were sitting on.

"As ready as I'll ever be to air all of my dirty laundry in public. I'm glad that you'll be home with Harry, I won't have to worry about him that way; and Molly has arranged for someone to sit with the children so that she can come and hold my hand. Arthur said he'd take time off from work as well, and Minerva is going to come to give her testimony as well. I'm more worried about having to face Walburga and ...her." Remus laughed at my refusal to use her name.

"You know, fear of a name only increases that which we fear," he reminded me, using the words that Professor Dumbledore used when talking about the newly defeated Dark Wizard that we'd all feared.

"I don't fear her name, it just makes me vomit."

"I don't doubt that it would. She's going to...I really think that she believes that one day Sirius will love her. It's going to be very difficult on her when she finds out that he never can."

"Remus, I don't think that it's possible for me to feel pity for her, not after everything that she's...please, don't make me justify my anger and dislike of her. I'm not doing this out of callous disregard for her, but instead to save the life of..." I stopped and had to survey what it was that I'd decided Sirius was. Since the trip to Azkaban, I'd found that I wasn't as brittle as I'd been before. "To save the life of the one that I love," I added as a whisper.

Remus pulled me to him, leaning my body against his, as his hand ran up and down my arm. "Ellie, never would I think that you were."

We sat there for a moment, just watching the children play. Harry was enraptured with little Ginny. He knelt beside her carrier, and let the girl pull on his fingers and reach for his face. Harry bent over and put his face close to hers, and she placed her little hand on his cheek, and Harry returned the gesture. It was almost if they were unaware that there was anyone else in the room with them. Then Harry surprised me when he leaned down the last few inches and kissed the baby full on the mouth.

"Harry," I said rather loudly, surprising Harry, Ginny, Remus and even myself. Once I recovered, I knelt down next to the little pair, comforting Ginny from her fright, and staring into a pair of bright, inquisitive eyes. "Harry honey, you can't just kiss a baby."

"Why? Hawwy lub Inny." He asked me, and I knew that he did indeed care for the little girl, you could see it on his face, but it wasn't like I could make him understand that it wasn't proper.

"Yes, Harry, I'm sure that you do, but we can't kiss babies on the lips like that," I told him, looking at Remus for help, but he was just stifling a chuckle. I glared at him, silently thanking him for his lack of help. "Um," I stumbled for what to say. "Babies can get ill very easy, and if we kiss them like that, they're liable to get sick." That sounded like a plausible answer, at least one good enough for a one year old.

"But, Hawwy want to kiss Inny." He was insistent about this.

"Well, that's very nice Harry." I told him, and he smiled brightly at me, looking rather proud of himself. "How about if instead of kissing her on the lips like that, if you kiss her on the hand instead. See, like this," I said, lifting Ginny's hand and opening her palm up. I placed a gently kiss inside of her hand, and then watched as her fingers once again curled around her palm. "See, I kissed her hand, and then she held onto it. You can do the same thing, and Ginny will always keep your kiss with her."

Harry seemed pleased with the idea, and he gently opened her other hand and kissed the palm. Her little fingers curled around the wet spot on her palm and she smiled at him. I sat there with the pair for a few more minutes, until Molly announced that it was time for brunch and the children began parading into the kitchen to eat. Remus grabbed my hand to hold me back from following the bunch in.

"Ellie, don't ever say that you don't know anything about mothering. That was...James would be so proud to see how you've taken to caring for Harry."

I know that he didn't mean to, but his words caused the fountain that was behind my eyes to burst forth.

"Oh, El, I didn't mean to make you cry," he moaned as he wrapped his arms around me. "I just, I wanted you to know that you're doing well here. Harry seems happy and content and he knows that he's loved. That's the best thing that a Mum can do, and you're doing it really well."

"I know that you didn't mean to make me cry," I told him, "but, it's just that Harry shouldn't have to have a substitute for his Mummy and Daddy. My brother and Lily shouldn't have had to die, not for something as stupid as..."

"I know, Ellie. I know."

We stood there for long moments, staring at the fairies on the tree, and until I had my tears under control. We joined the family, and tried to enjoy the rest of the holiday. I often wondered how things would have been different if Jamie and Lily had been here, but somewhere between dinner and pudding I realized that if I continued to look back, I might forget that I was moving forward; and Jamie would want Harry to move forward.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

**Spoken Aloud**

I laid in my bed, staring at the white ceiling, thinking that I really should have painted it a different color, any other color, white was just so...dull. I hadn't slept much, and even when I did the same memory not only haunted me while I was awake, but while I was asleep.

"_You sure that you want to do this?" Sirius asked for the hundredth time today. His lips were against my forehead and his arms were around me and I felt safer than any other place in the world, even though we were standing in what was rumored to be the most haunted house in all of England._

"_You're getting as bad as Jamie here. Do __**you**__ want to do this? If you're unsure, I would understand," I said, knowing my heart would break if he told me that he was uncertain. I couldn't imagine living without him, it would be like living without air or water._

"_Lolly, I'm not uncertain at all. I love you, I want to marry you and be with you always. It's just, you've got so much more to loose here. The rite, it makes it..." he stopped. I wasn't sure why, we'd talked about this aspect of the ritual over and over._

"_It makes it so that the only man who can ever touch me, ever kiss me, ever...have me will be you. My heart already belongs to you, this way, my body will too. I will forever be yours, Sirius. Only yours," I promised him and I pulled his head down to me and kissed him deeply. I'd lost track of how many times we'd kissed in the two years we'd been together, I'd cataloged them until it was in the thousands, and then we discovered things beyond kissing, and the snogging tally didn't seem quite so important._

"_Oh, my Lolly, I can't wait until I can share everything with you. Once we're married, we'll be able to..." I put my hand on his lips._

"_Sirius, after we do this, we don't have to wait. We're pledged to each other, my body will belong to you and you can do to it what you want," I promised him, Sirius took my fingers and kissed them._

"_After we're married," he said again, emphasizing the word after. "I made a promise to your father when I asked for your hand. I have no intention of going back on it. That ring looks beautiful there," he said, lifting my other hand to kiss where my grandmother's engagement ring was resting on my finger. When Sirius had asked my father permission to marry me, my mother had given him my Grandmummy Hightower's ring. It didn't matter to my father that Sirius was betrothed to another, he had promised that he'd break the engagement for us, and I believed in my Daddy. I felt rather disappointed that we'd have to wait another two years to be together, that way, but Sirius was adamant that he not break my father's promise. "But, a simple golden band will be even more beautiful, my Lolly."_

"_Fine," I huffed and pulled away. I took two steps before his arms were around me again. "Ellie, don't be that way. It isn't that I don't want to, don't even think that way. I made a promise, and I will not go back on it, not after all he's doing to let us be together." I relented to his embrace, and relaxed against him._

"_Okay, let's get this show on the road then, shall we. I want to be wearing you mark by the end of the night," I whispered my lips close to his. He tipped himself slightly so that we kissed to seal the deal._

_I reached into my bag and began removing the supplies that I had gathered for the ceremony. There wasn't much that was needed, it was the potion that was difficult to brew, and I had worked on it for most of the summer. It was fortunate for us that my mother was an adept at Potions, and often kept supplies around the house. It would have been much more difficult if I'd had to purchase some of the items, they're considered restricted to people who are underage._

_I pulled out my small copper cauldron, a fifteenth birthday gift from my mother. It was meant for finer brews than my regular iron one for course work, along with the jar that I'd enchanted to hold the everlasting flame. This was the hardest item, it took Sirius and I the better part of a month to get the flame to be the correct temperature. I also had two new, white, tether-bee candles. The beeswax was fine and pure and it took a thousand bees a year to create enough wax for these two candles. They'd cost me three galleons, but I figured that it was worth it. I pulled the small potion phials out, then the silver knife that I'd said the incantation over during the most recent full moon, while I was at home without Jamie and Sirius. They'd gone to Remus' home to surprise him, and help him through the full moon._

_The last thing that I pulled out were the botanicals; one large Ivy leaf, the Aplectrum hueminale root, a fresh apple and the new Willow branch. Sirius had collected it and charmed it last spring so that it would still be in the soft state it was in now, when we needed it for the ceremony._

"_All right, come over here and sit across from me, and take out your wand," I told Sirius and he smirked at me. "Your magic wand, love."_

"_I know, Lol; I just wanted to tease you."_

"_Yes, well, distracting me could have some rather disastrous effects here. It would be quiet awful if I messed up here, and shrunk your 'wand' or made it so that if you got near me I would set off a Caterwaul charm." He looked horrified._

"_Right, no more jokes until this is done," he promised and I leaned across the cauldron to kiss him._

"Ewwhie, Ewwhie, Mus said time to up!" Harry said as he bounced up on my bed, and I was not only no longer thinking about that day, but I was now wide awake.

"Right, right, I'm awake, Harry. Go and ask Remus to put the kettle on for me. I'll be right down, okay?" I asked the toddler and he threw his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek, rather sloppily.

"Okay, Ewwhie. Inny coming to play today, I wub Inny." He told me as he slid from the bed.

"Yes, Harry. I know that you love Ginny. Go on now, I'll be right down," I promised him and he ran from the room. I lifted my wand and closed and sealed the door and got up from the bed. I stumbled into the loo and went through my morning routine, getting myself ready for the day. I went to my wardrobe and pulled out the special robes that I'd had made to wear today. I couldn't believe that I was going to be wearing the official robes, the ones with the family crest upon them, as well as the ancient seal that signified that my family held a position in court.

I slid the crimson robes on and stared at myself. Never, not in my wildest dreams, did I ever think that I would be the one who would be wearing these as the official family representative. Jamie and I had grown up understanding the responsibility of our family position in the Wizarding world; however, I'd always expected that Jamie would be the one who would fulfill the family obligations, not me. I felt tiny in the robes, somehow inadequate of my lineage.

I had secured not only the Potter family crest, but also the Hightower one. I was the l sole heir to both families, at least until Harry came of age. Both of the families dated back to near the time of the forming of Hogwarts, and were some of the oldest and most respected names in all of Wizarding Britain and throughout Europe. I took a deep breath and looked at myself, square in the face. I rarely did it, because I never liked what I saw. My own regret and embarrassment was usually all that was reflected. I was surprised today when I caught a glimpse of something else in my eyes...resolution. I had been three years, five months and twenty days since I'd seen anything but derision in my face.

I headed downstairs, still feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the robes, but bolstered by what I'd seen in my own face. "This is what I can do", I repeated over and over in my mind as my mantra. Harry's face grew wide when he saw me.

"You 'portant Ewwhie!" He announced, sounding very impressed. I supposed that if I were only seventeen months old, I would think I was important as well.

"Thank you, Harry. I do have something important to do today. I'm going to go and try to help Uncle Sirius, so that he can come and visit you," I explained, putting the lemon and sugar into my tea. Remus handed me a plate of toast and eggs and I thanked him with a nod of my head, but certain that I would be leaving the eggs where they sat. My stomach was in knots.

"I miss Doggie. Bring him home, Ewwhie," he pleaded with me.

"I hope so Harry. I hope so." I took a bite of my toast, and I felt Remus hand upon mine. He knew better than to speak, which I was thankful for. "So, I understand that you've arranged a date for our young charge here?" Remus chuckled.

"The boys are going over to Molly's Auntie Muriel's house for the day, and without Bill there to keep them in line, they tend to get a bit...riled up. Molly thought that it might be better if Ron and Ginny came here; then Muriel would only have to try and keep the twins in line. Charlie and Percy can help with that, so the odds are in her favor," he explained.

"It's fine with me. Harry, no lip kissing, only kiss Ginny's hand," I reminded him. We'd caught him kissing her twice since Christmas, and since he had the sniffles, it was even more important that he not put his mouth all over her face.

I finished off my tea and toast, and Molly showed up with the kids. Remus was quite good with them, and I bid him goodbye, and he bid me luck. Together Molly and I walked through the wards and then apparated to the side entrance that I used at the Ministry. "I like to avoid crowds," I explained and she nodded at me.

Molly went and checked, in; I was again able to avoid the spectacle, as I was in another set of official robes. We climbed onto the lift and rode down to the lowest level. I hadn't been down to these courtrooms since I was a child, when Daddy had taken Jamie and I to see where Dumbledore sat when he was presiding over the Wizengamot. The courtroom was empty that day, I knew that it wouldn't be today.

As we exited the lift, I was pleasantly surprised to see Professor McGonagall standing with Mr. Weasley and Professor Dumbledore. He looked even more imposing in his official robes than he did every day at Hogwarts, and I was often scared of him them. I think that he could sense my fear, for he got a look on his face that reminded me of my grandfather's face.

"Miss Potter, your father would be so proud to see you in those robes, and standing up for what is right. You are truly worthy of your last name today," he told me and I smiled at him.

"Thank you, sir. My father always looked up to you, and believed in what you stood for. If I can be half the person that he was, then I shall think that I've done well in this world."

"Spoken like a true Potter, Eleanor." I hated when people called me by my given name, but it didn't seem so bad coming from him. We walked into the courtroom together, but then the Professor bid us farewell, as he went to the front. I followed the Weasley's and Professor McGonagall to the seats reserved for witnesses, and sat patiently. I felt Molly's hand on mine before I saw both Mrs. Black enter the courtroom. Walburga was dressed in her family robes, there as the official family representative, she was followed by her simpering daughter in law. Seeing Rosemund Rowle Black reminded me of the first day that I'd met her. I was in my fourth year, she was in her fifth. Sirius and I had been dating for a little over a month, and everyone at the school was aware that we were a couple. If our walking through the halls hand in hand hadn't clued them in, his charming of little paper birds to fly over to me, and announce his affections during lunch one day most definitely did.

"_You have some nerve," the dark haired, dark eyed girl wandered up to me while I was walking to Charms with Lily and another roommate of ours, Grace._

"_Excuse me?" I asked her, clearly thinking that she'd confused me with someone else._

"_I said you have some nerve, walking through the halls and holding hands with the boy that I'm going to marry," she snipped back. Her features were harsh and almost brutal. She wasn't bad looking, she just wasn't soft and pretty. It didn't help that she insisted on gooping her eyes with a thick wash of dark eye shadow and eye liner._

"_I don't know who you think that I'm dating, but I assure you that I'm not dating whomever it is that you say you're to marry. I'm going with Sirius Black," I told her kindly, and then I tried to slip away from her, but she wouldn't let me._

"_Exactly. I am betrothed to Sirius, and have been since I was nine. I don't appreciate your hanging all over him, so I do hope that you'll stop." With that, she turned on her heel and walked away. I was in shock, and I could feel Grace wrap her arm around my shoulders._

"_Clearly El, she's mistaken. Sirius would know if he were betrothed to someone, right? It's a dumb old practice anyway," she told me and I nodded at her. Grace was a member of the Longbottom family, Frank's little cousin or something, and her father's mother was really famous for some love potion she'd made. Grace was, well, boy crazy, and being a pure blood and what one considered a 'good catch' had endured the whole betrothal process herself. Her father didn't make her get engaged either. "Owl your father tonight, and let him check it out. Rosemund thinks that she's so important, she's probably just wrong, again."_

_We headed to class, but I couldn't shake her words. I owled my father that night, and two days later he let me know that there was indeed a betrothal listed in the Ministry between Sirius and Rosemund. My father promised me that if we were still together when Sirius came close to the age of Betrothal, that he'd take care of._

I watched them enter, and in honor of my father, who believed in my love and tried to nurture the relationship that I was here to protect, I held my head high. His mother glared at me, his wife quite loudly hissed. They sat on the other side of the court, and I found it odd that both of these women were planning on testifying against Sirius. Shortly thereafter he was lead in, and stumbled when he saw me. I could see the look on his face, begging me not to do what it was obvious I was going to do. Fortunately, he was unable to speak at these proceedings until he was spoken to.

Professor Dumbledore called the Wizengamot to session, and explained that we were here to hear testimony in the case against Sirius Black. He stated the rules of the court, pointedly looking at the Black women while he did, and when he was done, he called forward Cornelius Fudge, the leader of the team that had brought Sirius in.

He laid out the case, and even to my relatively untrained ear, I could tell that the case was a load of nothing. They had no real evidence, other than hearsay and conjecture. Both his mother and wife were called to testify about how they had "feared him" and "were thankful that he was imprisoned", however it struck me as odd that both of the these women who were openly supportive of Death Eaters and Voldemort, wanted to keep Sirius in prison on the threat that he was a Death Eater.

When it came to the defenses turn, I was called first. I rose from my seat in the gallery and went to the witness chair. I felt so very small sitting there, with the entire Wizengamot looking at me.

"Please state your name?" Dumbledore asked.

"Eleanor Hightower Potter, daughter of Quinlan Potter and heiress to the Ancient and Noble houses of Potter and Hightower. I am here as the head of the Potter family to give witness and testimony on behalf of Sirius Black," I responded, having memorized the correct words from my father's old law books.

"Miss Potter, where do you reside?"

"I live in England sir, but the exact location of my home I am not at liberty to disclose," I stated.

"Why would that be?" He asked me, with a slight glint in his eye.

"The location of my home is under the Fidelius Charm, as I am the guardian and caretaker of my nephew, Harry James Potter, who is sought by Death Eaters."

"I see. Who would be able to disclose the location of your home?" I knew that I saw an up-curl of his lip now.

"That you would be you, sir." My answer caused an outbreak of whispers and chuckles within the courtroom and I felt much more at ease now.

"Very well then, I will not be disclosing your address, however, I can attest to my knowledge of it. What testimony do you bring today?" I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and began my tale.

"On the night of October 31, 1981; Sirius Black came to see me at a few minutes before midnight. He had heard about the deaths of my brother, James Quinlan Potter and his wife, Lily Evans Potter. Their son, Harry is Mr. Black's godson. He was in my care as I am his godmother." I started, and I could hear a slight murmuring in the courtroom.

"Did Mr. Black say anything to you at this time?"

"He did sir. When I asked him point blank if he had betrayed James and Lily, he told me no. He continued to speak to me, and I learned that he had not been made the Secret Keeper for the Potter's but instead the job had been given to another fellow classmate, Peter Pettigrew." I wanted to take a breather, because I knew what the next question would be. I lifted the glass of water that was next to me and took a sip, and then made eye contact with Professor Dumbledore. I could read in his face that he was going to ask me to divulge my secret.

"Miss Potter, how do you know that Mr. Black wasn't lying to you?" He asked and I looked only at him as I answered, his eyes gentle and supportive.

"Because, on the evening of September 1, 1976, Sirius and I performed the Rite of Croi Ceahgal on each other. We tied our hearts and our bodies by the Ancient Rite, and one of the results of the magic is that we are unable to lie to each other." I could hear the greater murmuring within the courtroom. The rite was almost unheard of anymore, and the crowd was reacting accordingly. I kept my eyes from either the Black women or Sirius, but I did look over to Molly for support. All three of the adults who'd come with me were looking at me with respect in their eyes. It helped.

"Chief Warlock, if I may," I gentle faced woman from one of the top rows raised her voice. Dumbledore nodded that she may ask her question. "Miss Potter, why would you do such a thing?"

"Sirius and I loved each other, we'd been together for over two years at this point, and we wanted to get married when we left school. My father had been trying to get Mr. Orion Black, Sirius' father, to break the engagement that Sirius was already committed to. When I found the Rite, I truly believed that it would be a way to force Mr. Black's hand," I explained.

"How old were you when you made the Rite? Was it even legal?" another voice called.

"I had just turned sixteen, Sirius was already sixteen, nearing seventeen. It was indeed legal, and the Rite was listed in the Department of Mysteries. My father saw our names there," I explained.

The courtroom erupted into many discussion, and I just sat there, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I could hear Rosemund swearing rather loudly, but I refused to let her know that she was making me uncomfortable. Professor Dumbledore silenced the room and looked at me again.

"Miss Potter, we know that the Rite carries a mark. Could you show it to us?"

"Yes sir, but, would it be possible for someone to come and look at it, and vouch that it is indeed burned upon my skin, rather than me having to remove my blouse before the entire Wizengamot?" I uttered, mortified that I would have to be showing my breasts in court.

"Of course, Miss Potter," he said with a chuckle. A young, sweet-faced witch that I thought I might have known from school came forward and stood in front of me.

"All right, Ellie, let me have a look," she said, and I loosened the clasp of my robes and pulled them aside, so that she could look down my blouse. The mark was nestled between my breasts, but it was clearly evident, even in the dim light that she had to look for it in.

"I'm going to cast a spell over it, to make sure that it really is a permanent mark, and not just something you've drawn on your skin. It shouldn't hurt you," she said and I nodded at her. She lifted her wand and it glowed for a moment, and then she let go of my robes and dropped her arm as she turned to face Dumbledore. "It is truly the mark, and it's in the correct place."

The young witch climbed back up the stairs to her seat and I looked at the Headmaster again. "As you see sir, he couldn't have lied to me, so what I'm telling you is the absolute truth."

There was more whispering around the courtroom, and even Mrs. Black, senior, was getting antsy.

"Miss Potter, there is a reason that the Rite went out of fashion," a haughty looking woman that reminded me of Walburga Black in looks and temperament barked at me. "He's been married, and it's said that if he was unfaithful to you, the wearer of the mark would know it." She said, and I knew where she was going with this. I had never told Sirius that this part of the rite was indeed true, and I hated that he'd learn about it in open court. The woman, whomever she was, seemed quite titillated to be asking me this question. "Tell me, is it true?"

I paused before answering, taking a deep breath to slow my heart down. "It is indeed true. When Sirius was forced to...consummate his marriage...I knew. Every time that they were together, I felt it." I said quietly and Rosemund let loose with the most evil sounding laugh I think that I'd ever heard. I surmised that she was delighted to have caused me pain. Tears collected in my eyes and I fought to keep them from falling.

They continued to pepper me with questions about how we've dealt with his being married to another person, and what other sorts of complications have arisen due to our unique case. I was asked to explain why his Betrothal wasn't broken, and was forced to reveal the special attachments to the engagement that Orion Black had put in place. The questioning seemed to go on and on, and every time that I thought that they'd gleaned the last bit of information from my personal life, someone would come up with a question that was even more humiliating. I knew that I'd opened myself up to this, and that I had to accept it, but it stung nonetheless. Finally, the questions died down and I saw relief pass across Professor Dumbledore. It was only then that I allowed myself to look at Sirius. I had never seen more love and devotion.

"Thank you, Miss Potter. Your testimony has been most enlightening," Professor Dumbledore said and I got up and started walking back to my seat. "In light of these revelations, it is quite clear that Mr. Black has indeed told Miss Potter the truth, her mind has been probed while we were here discussing these matters, and she was found to be telling the truth as well. It is hereby the order of the Wizengamot of Great Britain that Sirius Black be released from Azkaban immediately. Please return Mr. Black his wand. Court is dismissed."

Arthur Weasley quickly wrapped an arm around me, and turned me away from the room, clearly trying to shield me from anyone who might want to come up and continue the interrogation. We watched as the guards dropped Sirius wand on the table before him, and then released his shackles and the magical binding that was put on him. He picked up his wand, and made short work of the distance between us. We knew that we couldn't embrace, not here or now. We simply stood in front of each other.

"Ellie, I...why didn't you tell me?" he begged me, and I could see the tears in his eyes.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. You had to be with her, the contract stated that much, telling you that my skin burned and it felt like I was being stabbed through the heart would have only made it worse on you," I replied softly. I just wanted to leave and be left alone to my misery and humiliation.

"How dare you do such a thing?" I heard his mother screech from across the room, and I could tell by the sound that she was getting closer. "You have besmirched the name of Black! I had finally thought that you'd turned around, embraced the family ways. Instead, you let," she took a breath and leered at me, "her stand up for you. You're a disgrace."

"No, mother," Sirius said, turning to face her while standing in front of me, shielding me from her wrath. "I'm fairly certain that you and father disgraced the name when you force me to marry this, hag." He indicated Rosemund and I had to suppress my giggles.

"How dare you speak this way about your wife? I had hoped that I'd raised you better. You shall not set foot into the my house and I hereby deny you access to all funds and accounts," she barked, and Sirius shook his head.

"That's fine mother, may I at least remove my personal items from the house?" He asked drolly, clearly unaffected by the fact that his mother had just banished him from his home.

"Wait, what? You can't do that?" Rosemund started whimpering.

"Stop that infernal noise, Rosemund. I didn't say that you needed to leave, I simply do not want to have him in the house any longer," Walburga barked, and I put my hand into Sirius', I needed something to keep me from laughing at them. He squeezed my hand and the electric current that ran along my arm distracted me from my glee.

"But, we've only got another year in which to have a baby. The contract said that I needed to conceive within five years," Rosemund continued to complain as Walburga pushed her from the room.

"Do you really think that he'd touch you again, knowing what it does to Eleanor?" The older woman barked, and I hated my name even more, since it was coming from her lips.

"But my inheritance is based on my producing a child," the young woman complained, and I suddenly felt a bit sorry for her, not a lot, but a small bit.

"I'll re-write my will, darling. You will not be forgotten, and as long as you live in my house, you will continue to have access to my accounts," Walburga promised her. I watched in horror as she spun away from the older woman and flew back toward where we were standing. Sirius once again placed himself between his wife and I.

"How dare you? You've ruined everything, you've taken my husband from me," she screamed. Rosemund Black wasn't pretty to start with, but anger did not improve her looks. At that very minute, she reminded me of bat.

"He wasn't ever yours to begin with. His heart never belonged to you," I told her calmly and quietly from behind Sirius. His hand again squeezed mine.

"I won't grant him a divorce. I refuse it, we will remain married," she vowed and I sighed and inwardly cringed, not really surprised at this revelation.

"Why would you want to stay married to someone who doesn't and won't ever love you?" I asked. I didn't understand her.

"He's mine. I have his last name and I have his fortune!"

"I'm sorry, that's all you have," I whispered and it made her even more upset. She was finally restrained by some Aurors and taken from the courtroom. Dumbledore had left, but he'd whispered in Sirius' ear before going. "Did he tell you where I live?"

"He did. I just don't have a place to live Ellie, and I only have the money that's in my private account, I don't think I want to go and get my clothes and things from the house either..." he was rambling, and I put my fingers to his mouth to quiet him.

"As long as I own three homes, you've got somewhere to live, and as for money, I have more than I could spend in several lifetimes, no matter how hard I tried. You've still got some things at Jamie and Lily's house, I'll go and get them for you. Your old school robes are there," I joked, knowing that he'd never wear them. "Let's get you cleaned up so that you can see your godson, he's been missing you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7:**

**Find A Way**

Getting out the Ministry had been easier than I'd expected. As we exited the courtroom everyone from my department was waiting for us. Prentiss was in the front of the group, smiling at me.

"Ellie, there are crowds of people up there, and the Mrs. Black's are giving a rather warped version of the events that have just taken place. Albus Dumbledore went up to try and stop them, but, it will be very hard for you to get through. We came up with a little solution," he explained, and Esther Hooper pulled two small phials from her robes. "It will temporarily alter your appearance, only lasts about twenty minutes, should be long enough to get you two out of here. Your house is under the fidelus, right?"

"It is, thank you, all of you," I said, appreciating the loyalty and friendship of my co-workers.

"Sirius, take this one," Esther said, handing him a phial "and Ellie, take this one. Wouldn't want to have you ending up switching sexes too, that would just be really weird," Esther said and I giggled at her.

"You're right Esther, that would indeed be bad," I quipped back. I knew that if we were Muggles, everyone in my department would be labeled either a "nerd" or a "geek", I was fine with the characterization. I drank down the sweet concoction, and realized that it was simply a really well done glamour potion. I looked at Sirius, he now resembled the boy that we had cleaning out the equipment in our labs, Derrick or Devon or something like that. I wondered if I looked like the girl who tended to our supplies, Agatha or Arlene?

"David and Arielle are staying down in the labs, the two of you are safe. Now, get going before this potion wears off," Prentiss said.

"Thank you, all of you. You're very good friends," I said, knowing that we weren't friends, mostly because I'd kept everyone at arms length for all this time, but if I returned to work, I had every intention of changing that. Molly, Arthur and Minerva rode a separate lift up, hoping to divert some of the crowds. Sirius took my hand and we went into the next lift. I liked the way that it felt to hold it, out in the open, not having to worry about what someone might say.

_You know, one of these days, Jamie is going to find out about us," I taunted Sirius as we walked along the edge of the pond. Daddy was working with Jamie on some special magic, something that he told me I didn't need to learn. I hoped that it wasn't like the special magic that my Mum had taught me last week. Her little talk about contraception charms happen to have coincided with my getting my first boyfriend. I was mortified._

_Sirius reached out and took my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, my arm tingled where he'd touched it. "Let him, I'll be happy to explain why I want to date you, Ellie. We're best mates, he'll get over it."_

"_I hope so, because I won't pick between you and Jamie, I...I can't Sirius, he's my..." Sirius stopped and stood in front of me._

"_I would never dream of making you pick, Ellie. James will be fine with it, I promise. I just can't wait to walk through the halls with you like this, and let every bloke at school know that you're my girl," he told me, with a twinkle in his eye._

"_I'll like that too," I muttered back, and then we continued walking._

He dropped my hand before we reached the lobby, and I made eye contact with Arthur before we slipped into a floo fireplace. My flat was still attached, which I was thankful for.

"Um, there are clean towels on the shelf in there, and feel free to use my shampoo," I muttered as I was walking to the closet to see what might be inside that Sirius could put on. Jamie left some clothes here, as when he and Lily had argued, she often locked him out of the house. "I think that Jamie had a pair of jeans here, and a few shirts, not sure what we're going to do about knickers though..." I stopped when Sirius wrapped his arms around my waist and pulling me to him. His lips rested on my forehead, and it felt so good to have him hold me. I stood there for a moment, relishing how warm and safe I felt, and then I felt something crawling on my neck and I realized that he stunk.

"Sirius, love, while I am willing to let you hold me, do think you could do it after you've bathed. You reek and I think that a bug just crawled off of you and onto me," I explained as I reached behind me and swatted the darn thing off of me.

"Not a problem, Lolly. Sorry about that," he apologized as he walked to the bathroom. I listened as the shower turned on, and went through the closet. There weren't many things here, and most definitely not a thing that Sirius could wear. I decided that I needed to go to my parents house and get what supplies were there. I apparated from my lounge to theirs, and went upstairs. I hadn't touched Sirius' room when I'd gone to pilfer furniture, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I went to the wardrobe and dug through it finding several pairs of his jeans and slacks as well as three jumpers and a few long sleeve shirts. I grabbed his school sack and threw them in there, along with the rather ratty pair of trainers that were in the bottom. His school shoes were there as well, but I knew that I'd never get him to wear the black lace up shoes in a million years.

I went through the drawers and pulled out a couple of tee shirts, the pairs of socks that looked marginally clean and then stared the pairs of knickers folded up there. I'd seen him in them before, but it suddenly felt very intimate to be there pulling them from his bureau. I shook my head at my own silliness and pulled a few pairs out and then threw them the rucksack as well.

Jamie and Lily had let him keep his room here, as a place to hide from Rosemund. There were months when he was here more than he'd been at his own house. I generally stayed away at those times. He never wore robes when he was just hanging out here, so there weren't any to get for him.

I went back downstairs and pulled Jamie's old peacoat from the coat tree, figuring that it was better than nothing. I also took a pair of gloves and a hat from the basket by the door. Noting that this would get us along for a while, and we could go out and buy him any robes that he might need, as well as new Muggle type clothes. I looked around my family home and I didn't want to think about how empty and silent the house felt. I turned on the spot and was soon in my own paltry flat. Sirius was sitting on my bed, with only a towel wrapped around him. I stopped cold in my tracks, my mouth hanging open at him.

I hadn't seen him undressed in three years, five months and twenty-one days; not since the night before his wedding. Sirius laughed at my reaction. He looked a hell of a lot different at twenty-one than he'd looked at eighteen. I could see that he'd lost weight in prison, he had a slightly hollow, gaunt look to him; but there was definition to muscles that he hadn't had when we were in school. The thin line of hair that ran down from his navel and the cut of his muscles leading to the towel both enticed me and embarrassed me at the same time.

"Lolly, you're drooling," he joked and I nodded absent-mindedly at him. "Did you find something for me to put on?" His question roused me.

"Oh," I said, blushing at my reaction. "Um, yeah. I went to your closet at the family house. I hope all of this stuff still fits you. The trainers you had there were pretty ratty, but they looked better than those slipper things you had on before. Where did you put your...rags?"

"I uh, I burned them in your bathroom rubbish bin. I think that I charmed the bathroom against the fleas, but, you were always better with the charm than I was," he confessed as he stood up and the outline in his towel made me blush even more. I quickly looked away.

"That's pretty sad for someone who turns themselves into a dog," I added quickly, turning away from him. "I'll go and check the loo and make sure that the spell is done right. You can get dressed there," I said, sounding every bit as flustered as I felt.

"You can stay and watch," he tempted, but I turned and walked briskly from the room.

"Don't think that would help anything," I confessed. He'd done the charm well, but there were still a few of the little buggers left behind. I didn't want to come back to a full blown flea infestation, so I re-did the charm.

"I'm decent," he yelled at me, and I walked back into the main room. He still didn't have a shirt on, but at least he was wearing pants now. I noticed something on his chest and walked over to look more closely at it. When I realized what it was, I reached out to run my fingers over it. Sirius flesh erupted in goosebumps as I did.

"How did you get away with this with her?" I uttered.

"She never knew what it meant. I told her James and Remus had gotten me drunk and made me get it as a joke. James backed me up when she confronted him," he explained. I traced along the small tattoo over his heart that was in the shape of a lollipop, until I realized that my finger was on Sirius' naked chest. I quickly pulled my hand away. "Sorry."

"Lol, you weren't doing anything wrong, I really liked it. Lolly, we need to talk about this, I mean, its going to be different, we can be around each other but we still can't..." he started.

"I know, but I don't have any solutions, not right now. How about if we get you finished up here and you get dressed and we go and see that godson of ours," I suggested. Sirius grabbed me around the waist again, and pulled me to him. It felt even better to be held by him when he didn't have his shirt on and I could feel myself being intoxicated by his scent and the feel of him this close. I laid my cheek against him, and sighed in contentment.

"As much as I want to see Harry, I need to hold you. Lolly, what you did today, I...I thought that I loved you before, but that was," he stopped and pulled himself away from me, placing his large hands on either side of my face. "You are the bravest Gryffindor that has ever lived. Your parents and brother would have been so proud to have see the way you handled yourself. Who knew that quiet little Lolly had it in her? The butterfly that roared."

"I couldn't leave you there. Sirius, even if we're never allowed to marry, never allowed to be together again, you...you are my heart and soul," I whimpered, tears falling down my face. "For so long I tried to tell people that I was fine without you, but, I was dead inside. I'll take whatever life we can have, because it would be better immensely than what I was before."

We stood there for what felt forever, not saying anything, his long fingers trailing down my back, up and down along my spine. I didn't want to break the embrace, but I knew that Remus would be wondering where we'd gone to. Molly must have been there ages ago to pick up the children. I finally pried myself away from him and sat him down a chair so that I could look at his face and hair.

"You're a bit of a mess here, even with washing it, you're still quite scraggly. If I took home like that, you'd make Harry quite scared. Come on, let's get you cleaned up, love," I said as I took my wand out of my pocket and started trimming his hair and beard. When I was finished, I stowed my wand away again and put my hands on my hips. "Much better, far less deranged stalker guy and more cool uncle who taught me that it was okay to fly in the house."

"That's still a problem huh?"

"Um, yeah." I responded sarcastically. "He's using the fourth bedroom as his flying room," I told Sirius and then offered him my hand to get him standing. Once he was on his feet, he looked at me, oddly.

"You know, I haven't seen you smile like that in...in way too long, Lolly. You have the most beautiful smile that I've ever seen. I think that Harry's been good for you," he tenderly told me, once again wrapping his arms around me.

"I think that I forgot just how lonely I'd become," I whispered to his chest, wanting nothing more than to stay like this forever. I pulled back from Sirius and looked into his face, and I could feel the pull toward his lips, but I knew what would happen if we did. I closed my eyes and backed my body away. "But, I'm not lonely now. Live with a toddler and a werewolf. Clearly nothing lonely or dull about that. Come, put a shirt on, and let's get home."

Sirius grabbed a tee shirt and a jumper and then slipped the trainers onto his feet. We discovered a small hole in the sole of the right one. "Guess we'll be traveling into town today, selection won't be great, but at least they won't be holed." He stuffed the rest of his clothes back into the rucksack, and then slid on James old coat, hat and gloves. I could tell that he felt oddly, wearing his dead friends things, but given the circumstances, it was the best that we could do. I pulled my cloak around myself and lifted my wand to once again seal my flat and I grabbed his hand and apparated us both to the lane, not more than a few steps from the front door. The wind was quite wild and the snow was gently falling, but it was warm where I was standing, next to Sirius as he gazed lovingly on the cottage that I had bought to raise Harry in.

"Lolly, it's the perfect house, it's just...it's so you. Come on, show me your home," he begged me, as he kissed my knuckles.

"Our home," I muttered, and then realized what the implications of that statement could be, I quickly added, "Harry's and mine." I opened the door, and when Harry saw his godfather, he got up on his little feet and ran toward him.

Remus had been playing with Harry's building blocks on the Lounge floor with him, but whatever they had been constructing was destroyed in Harry's rush to get to Sirius. I stood back, closing the door, and watched as Sirius picked up the little boy and threw him in the air and then caught him, wrapping his arms tightly around the toddler.

"I miss you, Doggie," Harry announced.

"I missed you too, sport. I wanted to be here with you and your Aunt Ellie so much."

"You stay?"

"Wild Hippogriffs couldn't make me leave, buddy."

"Yeah. Hawwy live with Ewwhie, Doggie and Mus. Hawwy just miss Mummy and Daddy," he told us, and I walked over and put my hand on his back and gave it a little rub.

"I know you do, sweetheart. I miss them too, but they're keeping the angels company, and having tea with Grammy and Pappy Potter. We'll see them someday, I promise," I told the little boy and he reached over to grab me, and Sirius handed him over. Harry buried his face in my hair, resting his head on my shoulder. Remus had gotten up from the floor and was hugging Sirius now, and I turned away, understanding that it was the first time that the friends had seen each other since James death. "Hey, my little guy, tell me what you did this morning with Ron and Ginny?"

"Play dragons. Mus dragon tamer," Harry explained.

"Well that sounds like fun. What did Ginny do?"

"Pwincess need wescue. Kiss her too, but only on hand." He promised, lifting his little hand up to show me.

"That's a very good boy. I'm so glad that you listened to Aunt Ellie. I think that you deserve another cookie after lunch for listening so well. How about if we get some lunch?" I asked him as I gave him another hug and then set him down.

"It's all ready, we were just waiting for you," Remus explained and I smiled my thanks. Harry took off running at the mention of food and Remus quickly followed. We were heading into the kitchen when Sirius again grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.

"What was that about kissing Ginny?"

"Harry has a thing for baby Ginny Weasley ," I giggled. "He was kissing her on the lips, which isn't right on so many levels. I told him that he can only kiss her hand, like this," I said, lifting his hand and pulling my fingers free. I then placed a kiss in the palm of Sirius hand, wrapping his fingers around the spot when I was done. "I explained that if he did that, she could carry his kiss with her all day." Sirius looked enthralled with the simple gesture and his eyes were dark with desire. I knew that it wasn't something that we could engage in, but I loved knowing it was there, that some part of him still wanted me the way I longed for him. He lifted my hand and kissed it the same way.

"I hope that you'll carry that with you too, my sweet Lolly," he vowed and then wove his fingers through again, and we walked the rest of the way to the kitchen, but by then, my feet weren't touching the floor.

When we were finished with lunch, it was time for naps, and given how little I had slept the night before, I decided to lie down while Harry was. I got him changed and settled in his bed, and rubbed his back for a few minutes until he was asleep, and then I slipped into my room, removed my shoes and robes, and slid into the bed wearing only my undergarments. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

_I lit the candles and placed the little copper cauldron on top of the jar with the flame inside. When the cauldron felt warm, I poured the potion phials into the cauldron to let them warm. When everything was set, I opened up the parchment that I had written out all of the incantations onto and started talking. I hoped that a few mispronunciations wouldn't effect the Rite, as I really didn't know how to speak Gaelic._

_I said the first few lines, and then handed Sirius the willow branch. He needed to knot the branch three times, and say: "corp, croi, anam". He did as he was supposed to, and when he was done, he smiled at me. "You are my body, heart and soul, Lolly."_

_I next lifted the enchanted dagger and pricked my finger and let three drops of blood fall into the flame of the left candle. I healed the small wound with my wand when I was done. I repeated the process with Sirius on the right candle and then healed him, along with saying the correct words. _

_We both then lifted two small bits of the root and held them over our respective candles. The smell was rather obnoxious and sickening. _

"_Lolly, this reeks," Sirius said, as he wrinkled up his nose._

"_I know, but we need to do it. It's commonly called Adam and Eve Root, and I think that the name gives away why it's important to the spell. Only a little longer," I promised. I said a few more lines of the incantation, and then we were finally able to stop burning the root._

_After a bit more incantation, I dropped the pooled wax from each of the candles into the potion, and watched as it turned from a dark purple to a nice light pink color, letting me know that I had indeed done it correctly. I siphoned the potion back out into the phials, using my wand, and handed one to Sirius. We drank it down together, and I could feel a strange warmth pass over my whole body. _

"_It tastes good," Sirius remarked._

"_It's made from Licorice root, kind of reminds me of the tea my Mum made when my stomach was upset."_

_There was only one step left, and it required my removing my shirt. I'd worn my lowest cut bra underneath, so that I could do this without having to become completely topless. Sirius smiled enthusiastically as I removed my blouse, and stuck the Ivy leaf between my breasts and said the spell: me' eadal bhur sma'l. As I said that I wear his stain, the leaf began to combust, and while it stung, it wasn't as if I was being burned. When the whole leaf was gone, there the mark lay between my breasts. The rite was nearly finished._

"_Ionúin" he whispered._

"_Ionúin, go deo" I responded._

_Sirius reached across the cauldron and candles and put his fingers on the brand that I was now wearing. The Serch Bythol was an ancient symbol of love and fidelity, the two intertwined Triskeles, they had no beginning and no end, they were simply woven into one another. His touch made catch my breath, it was like I could feel him everywhere._

"_That is...my god it's beautiful, Lolly. You wear that for me?" He said, sounding disbelieving that all of this were somehow real._

"_Only for you, my love. I will always be only for you," I promised and he crawled around the spell supplies, and had me in his arms. He cushioned the floor with a charm, and then laid me down, covering my half undressed body with his and sealing our rite with a passionate kiss._

I sighed contentedly as I awoke from the dream, and stretched my body, extending my arms out to either side. I was surprised when my left hand hit something that was solid, but not hard like the headboard. I opened my eyes, and saw Sirius lying there, smiling at me.

"I really hope that dream was about me, because I'd be rather jealous if another bloke was making you moan like you just were," he remarked, and I was throughly embarrassed. I realized that I was now lying in only my underwear, mostly exposed from stretching and pulling the blankets down my body. It didn't help that I had apparently been moaning in my sleep. I yanked the blankets up over my head, trying to hide.

"Sirius, what are you doing in my bed?"

"After you brought Harry up for his nap, I wanted to explore the house. I opened the door here, and you were all curled up on your side, with a wide smile on your face. It was so compelling that I decided I needed to come and watch you," he explained. "I like your knickers there, Ellie. Much better than the stuff you wore while you were in school."

I pulled the blanket off my face and looked at him. "Yes, well, when it wasn't my Mum buying it for me anymore, I was able to discover a whole world of other things out there. It's the only thing that I ever splurge on," I confessed. It was something that Lily had suggested the summer that Sirius got married. I had sunk into a rather deep depression, and I wasn't taking care of myself at all. Lily bought me some beautiful lingerie, telling me that no one else ever needed to know that they were there, but I would know, and it might help me feel better about myself. She was right.

"_Here, Ellie, put these on. I swear they will make you feel better." Lily said as she handed me a bag. I looked inside, and was mortified at the bright colors and lace of the underwear inside. I started shaking my head at the sight of them._

"_I can't wear these, Lily. Why would I wear these?"_

"_Ellie, I know that you're hurting because Sirius is married, but the old cotton ones that you wear, they're, utilitarian. I think that you need something to make you feel beautiful. Just give them a try, please for me. You need something that's just for you. It can be our secret," she promised and I relented. When I slipped the soft garments on, I was surprised at how it made me feel._

"Well, I wholeheartedly approve of your choice there," Sirius said seductively.

We laid there, our faces nearly touching, his breath caressing across my face. I felt myself getting lost in his eyes, and I brought up my right hand so that I could run it along his face. I caressed his eyebrows and his nose. My finger traced his mouth and along his freshly trimmed beard. I ran my hand into his hair and fisted it between my fingers. I desperately fought the urge to pull his lips to mine, and realized that I needed to get out of this bed now, and we needed to talk. I released him and pulled away, but I could see in his eyes that he was pained by our breaking of contact.

"We need to talk," I muttered.

"Those are never words that a bloke wants to hear, Ellie."

"We need to talk about where you're going to live and what we're doing next," I said and he smiled at the topic.

"I'm living here with you and Harry, we're going to be a family." He sounded so assured as he told me, but there were still so many questions. I knew that there was a lot of things that we needed to talk about, but I didn't want to do it while I was in my underwear.

"Great, well, close your eyes so that I can get up and put something else on, please."

"Come on, Ellie. I've seen you in less," he commented.

"That isn't the point, Sirius. I don't think that it will help either of us if I'm parading around here in my underwear. Close your eyes," I demanded and he did. I quickly slipped from the bed and ran into the loo where I knew that I had a pair of Muggle pajama pants and Jamie's Quidditch jersey from sleeping last night. I came back out, and Sirius was still smiling at me.

"Ellie, hate to break it to you, but your still rather hot in that outfit," he told me, and I shook my head at him.

"Sirius, stop. We need to talk about some things. Come on, lets go downstairs and figure out what the three of us are going to do now," I explained and pulled on his hand to get him off of the bed. We went downstairs to where Remus was sitting at the small desk in the Lounge, writing out something.

"What 'cha working on?" I asked.

"Just dealing with some of the thank you letters that Harry has received. They go to the Ministry, and Arthur picks them up and brings them over to me. I try and answer at least ten of them a day to keep up with them, and then they're filed away so that if Harry ever wants to see them when he's older, he can," my friend replied.

"I didn't even know that you were doing that, thank you," I responded.

"Ellie, you've been rather preoccupied. I figured if I could stay on top of the laundry and this, it was a few less things that you'd need to be concerned about."

"That's very sweet of you." Remus got up and moved over to the large rocker by the fireplace and Sirius and I sat down on the couch. He stretched his arm along the back of the seat, and his fingers started playing with my hair. Remus smiled at the attention he was lavishing on me, and I was surprised at how comfortable I felt with it. "Okay, gentlemen. We need to come up with some sort of a plan. It's been a two and a half months since Jamie and Lily died, and in that time, I have simply been in crisis mode; however, since Sirius is out of prison, we need to come up with something better. I only have until May first before I have to go back to work."

"Well, the first question I think we need to answer is, are you here full time or part time, Sirius?" Remus asked him, and I knew that he was trying to ascertain if he was ever going back to Grimmauld Place or anywhere else for that matter.

"My Mum has thrown me out of the family home, which is fine with me. It was getting rather grueling to dodge Rosemund's rather forceful advances. We were coming close to the five year mark, and her inheritance grows if she were to produce an heir. I just..." he looked like he wanted to be ill.

"Okay, so, you're going to stay here? I don't mean to be indelicate, but won't that be difficult on the two of you?" Remus followed up.

"You could live in my flat? I know that it isn't much, but it's paid for and it's private," I suggested but Sirius shook his head.

"I don't want to live alone. I've been alone for the last nearly five years, even though I shared a house with Rosemund and my mother. I want to live with people," Sirius explained and I nodded at him.

"You would still be part of the family, you'd just, sleep somewhere else." Remus suggested. I knew that he was worried if I would be able to take Sirius in the house full time. The fear had passed through me as well.

"But, don't you see, I don't want to be the fun guy who comes and takes Harry out places, but nothing more. I want to be here to pick him up when he falls, and calm his nightmares when he wakes up at night. I want to help raise him, just like the two of you have been doing. I want all of it, the nappies and the being sick. Having to teach him right from wrong and teach him how to read." Sirius was passionate about this, and he'd clearly been thinking about it for a while. I wondered if this is what had sustained him while he was in Azkaban, dreaming about a life raising Harry.

"Well, I guess that it's settled then. Sirius will move in here, and Harry will loose his flying room. We'll need to get some furniture for you, maybe bring your things from the Potter house over?" I asked.

"Ellie, my feet hang off the end of that bed, I need something larger," he explained.

"Oh, well then, I guess we're going shopping," I replied.

"That brings up another point, I have almost no money now, and I can't access the Black family vault, or at least that's what mother threatened..."

"Stop it," I demanded. "I have enough money, you don't need to worry about this. I don't even need to work, it's just that I find my research important. None of us ever need to work and we'll be fine."

"Ellie, I'm not living off your money. I'm going to get a job," Sirius answered and I looked over at Remus. He was trying to be evasive with his look, but I could tell that it was bothering him. He couldn't work, due to the anti-werewolf legislations that had been passed in the last few years.

"Sirius, what would you even do? You haven't ever tried to get a job, even right after school," I was rather dubious of the idea of Sirius getting a job, but if this was something that he wanted, I was willing to support him in his quest.

"Not sure, El, but I'll figure something out. Now, how much time to do I have before that godson of mine wakes up?" He asked and I looked at the clock.

"At least another hour, how about if we go down into town and see what we can find you in the way of shoes and other clothes. You're going to need some pajamas here too," I told him.

"Ellie, I've never slept in them, even at school."

"Yes, well, we all wear them here, don't we Remus?"

"Yes, we do," he replied and we both started laughing. Sirius questioned us, non-verbally and Remus answered him. "Harry had a nightmare shortly after we first moved in. We both went to comfort him, but we realized that neither of us was wearing much. It made for a rather uncomfortable encounter."

"I see, well then, pajamas it is." Sirius answered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Just a quick one, because I wanted to thank everyone who has read thus far and added the story to their alerts. Thanks so much, I'd love to hear what you think. How about leaving me a comment at the end of the chapter? Thanks again, Mutt**

**Chapter 8:**

**Dunder and Wightnin**

"You do know, at some point you're going to need your own bed," I sighed. "That's supposed to be your bedroom down there," I reminded him with a wag of my fingers at the door. Sirius chuckled at me, not moving. "This is my favorite time of the day," I confessed.

"Oh, and why is that?" He asked me, even though he knew the answer. We were tangled up in bed, wearing pajamas because it was a house rule, but damn, you could still feel things through them. I lazily ran my fingers over his chest, marveling at the hardness of his muscles, and yet the softness of the skin. My fingers would get tangled up in his chest hair, and I could swirl them into intricate patterns. His arm was wrapped around me, and I was resting my head on his shoulder. At the moment, his big toe had found its way into the bottom of my pant leg and was stroking the inside of my ankle rather seductively. He'd wrapped his fingers up in my hair, massaging my head.

"Because it feels like a dream," I told him. "I feel like we're living someone else's life here, and we get to be happy."

"This is not a dream, Ellie. If it were, we'd be able to be married, and I could do all of the wicked things to your body that I want to," he whispered, while his breath caressed the side of my face.

"I know, but its so much better than what we had, I...let me have my dream, dear. It almost feels like we're..." I muttered, I couldn't bring myself to say it; but I could certainly feel it. We were silent for a long while, just happy to be living this fantasy. Neither of us spoke of it, but we knew that this was as far as things would go for a while. As long as Sirius was still married.

It has been three months since I'd gotten him released from Azkaban, and we'd hidden from the world in the little cottage in Ottery St. Catchpole; there were only a handful of people who knew where we lived and could get here.

"Are you excited about going back to work?" Sirius questioned. I had three weeks until my leave would be up, and I would be returning to my job.

"I think I am, I certainly feel the need to get back to my research, but I don't like the idea of being away from Harry all day. I've gotten quite," I stopped and thought about my word choice, "attached."

"You have, but you're so very good at it, Ellie." Sirius gently pushed on my shoulder, making me roll over onto my belly and onto him. He used his hands to pull the hair away from my face as he kissed my forehead.

We'd learned exactly what we could and could not do in regards to triggering the curse that was upon him. We could kiss nearly anywhere on the face, except for the lips. We would caress and touch each other, as long as it wasn't anyplace considered specifically erogenous. We could not engage in any overt sexual activity. Holding each other like this, affirming out love was fine, but honestly, we both spent a whole lot of time alone relieving the tension that inevitably built.

"Lolly, does all this make you happy? Really?" I shrugged at his question before beginning my response.

"If you're asking was this the future that I dreamed about when we were young? No, I never imagined that you'd end up married to someone else, and in order to be together, we'd need to essentially be celibate. I always dreamed that we'd be married and that we'd have a family and we'd grow old together while raising our kids; and Jamie and Lily would be raising theirs," I could feel the melancholy seeping into my voice as I spoke. "I didn't think I'd end up your mistress, and that our time would be under a cloud of secrecy, while we raised my brother's son," I added in a whisper.

I couldn't look at him anymore, so I laid my head down on his chest, my cheek pressed up against the tattoo of the lollipop. He wrapped me up tightly in his arms, and held me.

"Lol, you are not my mistress, you are my partner and my soulmate. What I had to do with that...woman, it's not a marriage so you couldn't possibly be the other woman. I'm sorry that I ruined your life," he whispered. I raised myself up again and looked at him hurt.

"You've done no such thing. My happiest memories are all of you, of how you love me and how you make me feel. Sirius, if we can't ever have each other that way again, I still have a memory of the most perfect night of my life. I will always love you, always hold you in my heart, and always want you by my side," I promised him, looking at him in the eyes. "Sirius, so its not conventional, it's still our life, and we'll do the best with it that we can. I will take whatever I can, however I can, in order to be with you. I love you so much, please, don't ever think that way again." He rested his lips on my forehead and squeezed me tightly to him.

"Someday, my Lolly, someday," he promised and I smiled at the thought, settling down to sleep.

A few hours later we were awoken to a loud clap of thunder that shook the little house to its foundations. Not a minute later, we heard the bedroom door fly open, and little Harry running into the room. Sirius sat up, looking at the frightened toddler. He opened his arms to the child, and Harry ran into them, being lifted up onto the bed with us.

"Did the thunder scare you?" I asked him, feeling his little body tremble between us.

"Don't like flashes," he told me, letting go of Sirius and hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around my nephew and held him.

"I don't like them either, never had. In fact, when I was little your Daddy used to have to come and make me feel better when it was storming like this. Why don't you settle down here with us, and I'll tell you a Jamie story," I promised Harry, and he nodded as he slid himself between Sirius and I in the bed. Sirius wrapped his arm around us both, and I had my arm over Harry's belly. He was the filling in a funny little bed sandwich. We yanked the covers up and got comfortable.

"Story, Ewwhie, pwease."

"Okay, here's your Jamie story," I started. We'd come up with the name for stories from my childhood with Jamie and Sirius. They were a treat for Harry, but honestly, I think I told him one a day. "I was maybe 11 or 12 and we were out at the summer house."

"We go this summer?" Harry asked me. I owned the house on the Isle now, and while no one had been there in several years, Harry begged me to take him. Sirius and I had discussed it, and we thought that it might be good for Harry to see the place that was so important to us all.

"We hope so, sport. Now, you need to be settling down, listen to your Aunt Ellie," Sirius told him and Harry smiled up at him.

"Anyway, we were at the summer house, and Uncle Sirius was sleeping over, like he did most nights, because he and your daddy were..."

"Best ends," Harry again interrupted.

"Yes, they were best friends. So it was storming very badly that night, and the wind was whipping around, and it was thundering and lightening like it is tonight," and on cue, there was another flash and rumble. Harry's face was gripped with fear. Sirius reached across the bed and took his wand and gently lit it, giving the room a soft hue. "Well, the storm got so bad, that a tree outside our house started to break apart. The limbs crashed in through the window of my bedroom, and some of them fell on my bed."

"You scared?" Harry asked, his little face contorted in concern.

"I was, I started screaming for your Daddy, and my Daddy and Mummy and Sirius. Do you know what happened?" Harry shook his head at me. "Your Daddy came in, his wand out and he blasted the branches right off my bed. Then he ran over and picked me up and carried me to his bedroom."

"You okay?"

"I was fine, but I was very frightened. I slept on your Daddy's bed that night, with Uncle Sirius in the bunk above me, and Jamie slept on the floor by me. He even held my hand all night," I explained and Harry smiled.

"Daddy was brave."

"Yes he was Harry. Guess what he did the next day?"

"Don't know."

"He and my Daddy cut up all of the branches, and he made me that bench at the end of my bed."

"Wow."

"Yes, it was wow. For a long time, when there was a storm, I would get scared, but I could go to Jamie's room and he'd let me sleep on his bed, and he'd sleep on the floor, just to keep me safe."

"I sleep in your bed?"

"Yes, Harry. You can sleep in the bed with Uncle Sirius and I. Now, I want you to close your eyes, the storm is dying down, and I'll sing you back to sleep," I asked him and he nodded and closed his eyes.

"Wub you Doggy."

"I love you too, sport. Go to sleep, you're safe," Sirius told him, gently kissing his head.

"Wub you Ewwhie."

"I love you too, sweetheart. May the angels whisper sweet things in your ears as you sleep," I whispered to him and he smiled gently.

"Mummy wuwaby."

"Of course," I told him, and then started to hum the lullaby that I knew that Lily always sang to him:

Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, Lavender's green

When I am King, dilly dilly, you shall be Queen

Call up your man, dilly, dilly Set them to work

Some to the plough, dilly dilly, Some to the fork

By the second time through, he had relaxed again into sleep, but I continued to run my hand over his cheek, reveling in just how beautiful a child he was. I saw so much of my brother in him, and while it could have been hard, the reminder was comforting. Something of someone that I loved so much would continue to live on, and I could see him every day.

I felt Sirius hand on the back of my head, near my neck, stroking me gently. I looked up from Harry's face, to the face of the one that I loved.

"You're amazing with him. I'd forgotten about that night, but it was really important for me, too," he whispered and I looked at him, my face scrunched in confusion. "Ellie, your screams that night, they were terrifying, and when we couldn't see you under the branches of that tree, I was scared. When James got you out, and calmed you down, once you were sleeping in his bed, I was awake. I climbed down and sat on the end of the bed, watching you. I decided that night that I never wanted to see you that scared again."

My breath caught and I could feel a single tear slide down my face. "You've never told me that before." His fingers continued to caress my head and neck, and he'd dropped his wand with the other one, and was now wiping the tear from my cheek.

"I knew that something happened that night. It took me quite a while to understand what it meant," he explained and I nodded my head at him. "Thank you, Ellie. Thank you for letting me part of your family."

"We are a family, Sirius. Go to sleep, love." I whispered, as he extinguished his wand and I closed my eyes. I felt his fingers running up and down my neck as I too fell asleep.

"Okay, I have the mirror if you need me, and I can apparate back here quickly. I put everything for dinner into the chill chest and left the instructions charmed to the front. I don't want to work past five, but since I haven't been there in six months..." I rambled the next morning as I walked rather frenetically around the kitchen. I looked down and Harry was laughing in his high chair at me.

"Ellie, we're going to be fine," Remus told me, grabbing me by the shoulders to hold me still. "I have been living here as long as you have, and I take care of half of the cooking and all of the laundry. Go on, go to work, and we'll see you tonight."

"Right, work," I started and then I felt my shoulders sag. "Maybe I shouldn't be going back. It's not like we need the money, I mean really..."

"You love your work," he reminded me. "Go on, do your research, read something other than Babbity Rabbit. We'll all be here when you get back."

"Okay, call me if you need me. Goodbye my little love, Aunt Ellie will be back soon." I told Harry as I kissed him. He returned the favor, but his lips were covered in treacle from his porridge, and I now had a sticky lip print on my face.

"Wub you Ewwhie. See you whater," he chimed as he put another spoonful in his mouth. As I headed for the lounge and the door to the outside, Remus handed me a wet rag to discretely wipe off my face.

"Thanks," I whispered as I handed it back.

"We will be fine." He assured me again, and I nodded. Sirius was standing in the lounge, my tea cup in one hand, and some large black bag that I didn't recognize in the other. I stood in front of him, and he shook his head at me.

"Ellie, from the look on your face, you'd think that you were facing an executioner, rather than returning to work," he joked to which I sighed loudly. "We will still all be here when you get home, and the house will still be standing and Harry will be fine."

"But, I'm leaving him with a werewolf and...well, you," I joked back.

"El, I've lived here for nearly four months, I can take care of him too."

"But you used him as a Quaffle," I mused, still remembering him throwing the two month old Harry about the yard at Potter House.

"That was a long time ago. Go on, we'll be fine."

"Okay, I'll see you at dinner," I added, starting for the door, when I remembered something and quickly spun on my heel. "Oh, and NO..."

"Flying in the house. Believe me I know, we'll only let him fly in his flying room. Go on, have a good day, and I'll see you tonight. I love you," he said, handing me my mug so that I could drink down the last swig. I handed it back and he gave me the black bag. I looked at it confused.

"Just a little gift to wish you good luck back at work."

"Thank you, guess that it was time to use something other than my school bag?"

"Yup, goodbye love, have a good day" he said as he kissed my forehead again. I left the house, stepped outside of the wards and apparated to the Ministry. Since I had not been here in months, I knew that I would need to have my wand checked, which meant traversing the entire lobby. I grabbed hold of the beautiful bag that Sirius had given me, squared my shoulders and started walking.

There were several friendly faces, and a few people that I knew from school said hello by name, but I continued to walk forward. I inwardly groaned when I saw that Raleigh Rowle, Rosemund's sister was working at the check in desk. I contemplated turning around, tendering my resignation by owl and never leaving our little home, if possible. I decided against it, and got into the queue. When I reached the desk, I slid her my wand, and it wasn't until she looked up to match the wand with the owner, did she realize that it was me.

"Well, well, I see that they let just any old wretch in here," she sneered. I decided to ignore her and move on with my day.

"Hello Raleigh, may I have my wand back?"

"I should break it right here and now for the way you disgraced my sister. Her husband loved her until you came along and ruined it," she barked at me, and I wondered what planet she had been on to have gotten that from Sirius and Rosemund's relationship.

"I was there before Rosemund, dear. She's been filling your head with lies. Now, may I please have my wand back?" I asked again, as politely as I could.

"No. I'm going to call up to the Magical Law Enforcement Department, and have you arrested!" She was reaching for some sort of box on the inner desk.

"On what charges?" I cried back, this was ludicrous.

"Adultery." She waved her wand over the thing, and a red light came on. I looked at her warily.

"We haven't done anything to be arrested for adultery over. His father saw to that," I whispered at her as a crowd was forming around us. I really didn't want to draw any further attention to our situation here. "Please, Raleigh, stop this."

She was about to answer when three people pushed their way through the crowd, all wearing the grey robes of the Magical Law Enforcement Department. I recognized the lone woman in the group as the young witch who had inspected my mark when I testified for the Wizengamot. "Arrest her on charges of Adultery, she's sleeping with my sister's husband."

"Miss Rowle, we can't arrest her on those charges, they can only be brought about by the aggrieved party," the oldest of the officers explained, looking at me with great curiosity.

"Well, then hold her until I can get my sister here," Raleigh barked back at them and they all looked rather irritated at her.

"We're not going to do that either. If your sister wants to bring charges, then she can come into our office with her corroborating evidence, and we'll consider if there are charges to be brought. Otherwise, please check in Miss Potter, and let her go on her way," the officer again explained.

"She'll be here by the end of the day," Raleigh promised before shoving my wand at me. I passed through the security checkpoint, and then headed for the lifts, trying to ignore the stares of people around me. I got about ten steps away, when I realized that someone was walking with me. It was the young female officer.

"Ellie, can I walk with you?" she asked and I nodded at her. "I'm Amelia Bones, I was a few years ahead of you, in Hufflepuff."

"I remember now, I thought that you looked familiar when you...well, I guess it's good that I know your name, seeing as you've looked down my blouse. You were friends with Alice Majoribanks, she was in my house?"

"Yes, Alice and I are still friends, just went and saw her at St. Mungo's yesterday...pitiful what happened to her and Frank, but we're optimistic that once the swelling goes down," she paused, looking clearly wistful. I couldn't help but think if the swelling hadn't gone down in six months, that it probably wasn't.

"Look, don't let her get to you," Amelia prompted. "Rosemund can't bring any charges against you, as she couldn't have any proof of any relationship between the two of you. I've spent the last few months going over the files on your case, it's quite a contract that Mr. Black created for his son," she added, sounding somewhat disgusted.

The lift came and she climbed on with me. Gulliver greeted us, and expressed his happiness at seeing me at work again and I told him that I was indeed headed down to my office.

"My father tried, repeatedly, to break it. He never had any luck. Thanks for letting me know, though." I sighed, knowing that there wasn't any way to break the darned thing.

"Wait, Ellie, you're not hearing me. I might have found something, but I need to discuss it with you. Are you free for lunch today?" I looked at her, my eyebrows raised. My father had spend hours and hours on trying to break the damned thing, to no avail. Could there really be a way to be with Sirius?

"Please, don't joke with me," I said warily.

"I'm not, but I need some more information. Can we meet for lunch?" she asked again.

"Of course, um, what time is good for you?"

"How about one in the canteen? We'll miss the bulk of the lunch crowd then, and we can sit and talk about this. I do hope that I can help you, Ellie. Your brother and Lily were always very kind to me, and he was very helpful when we worked on cases together," she explained.

"All right, um, this is my floor. I'll meet you this afternoon, and thank you, Amelia."

I got off the lift and she waved at me. "You're quite welcome."

I walked into the Experimental and Developmental Medical Potions Lab, and was warmly greeted by my co-workers, who'd even enchanted a little welcome back banner that flashed just inside the door. Esther came over and hugged me, while Prentiss stuck out his hand to shake mine.

"Glad to have you back, Ellie. Place has been too quiet, no one has caused us to evacuate the department since you left," he teased.

"Sir," I started, knowing he was teasing me, "that was nearly two years ago, and we did accidentally find a whole new way to cause suspects to vacate a building. It wasn't that bad," I justified. That was a day that I would probably never live down; the only saving grace was the creation of the green gas potion that members of the Hit Squad now carried with them.

"That is true. No one has been back at your station, except Arielle to clean it. If you need anything at all, please let me know."

"Thank you sir, I've been doing more computations at home, and I think that I might have a break-through. It's going to take me a while to brew it, but if it works, we should have the first viable treatment for cursed scars," I explained. This has been my work since I'd arrived, no one knew that it was partly for personal reasons.

I went to my little station, and it looked just as I had left it, minus the overflowing rubbish bin and dribbles of potions that were inevitably on the floor when I was working. Lily had often chastised me for being sloppy, and hated to share a table with me. The fact was, we pushed each other and we were better Potions Masters because of our rather healthy competition. More than once, Jamie had commented that he was glad that Slughorn had put us together, because choosing between us would have brought him nothing but grief.

I set the lovely black satchel that Sirius had given me on the table, and took a good look at it for the first time, and tears sprung to my eyes. Sirius must have gone back to my family house and gotten my father's old satchel from the attic. This was the bag that I had seen my daddy carry off to work everyday as a child. It touched me that my love had known how special it would be to me, and made the effort to find it for me. I could also tell that it was his non-verbal support of my returning to work.

I flipped the brass closure open, and took out my potions book, not a textbook or even a compendium, this was MY potions book, the record of all of the potions that I had ever created. I had started it during my fifth year, when Professor Slughorn had challenged us as OWL students to create our own potion, for whatever purpose we desired. Lily and I had taken on the challenge, and then added our own twist to it. Whomever got a higher score on the challenge would have their history paper scribed by the other. We both hated History of Magic, but that didn't mean we didn't work in the class. I had created a potion for children who were struggling with Dragon Pox to help ease their itching. It was the first and only potion of it's kind, and it's commonly prescribed at St. Mungo's to this day.

"_I hate to say it, El, but that was some brilliant Potions work," Lily confessed as we left class that day. "Honestly, you even made a potion that helped people."_

"_Yeah, well, I think that yours might be more practical, honestly, a potion to help you divert the attentions of an overly amorous suitor? Hmm, now I know that you didn't create it for my brother, did you?" I asked her, and she blushed._

"_I actually enjoy your brother's vigorous attempts to get me to go out with him, if he would just act civilized more often, I might take him up on his offer," she confessed._

"_Yes, well, Jamie is Jamie; someday you are going to appreciate his passion for life. So, do I even need to guess who you made that potion for?" I asked her, quirking an eyebrow. Sirius and Jamie were walking in front of us, talking rather animatedly about something or another, Remus walking with them, but looking much more subdued. As I opened my mouth to spur her on, I was knocked to the floor by another boy in our class, the one that I was sure she'd made the potion for. My brother and his roommates, upon hearing my instruments crashing to the floor and my rather loud yelp of surprise, immediately turned on their heels and came over to help me up._

"_Severus, watch where you're going," Lily yelled at him._

"_What, you going to get this gang of thugs to dangle me from a tree branch again?" the Slytherin snarled back at us._

"_Whatever they've done or not done was by no means at my requested. Tell her that you're sorry," Lily demanded and I watched as his eyes got narrow and he came to stand toe to toe with her._

"_I will tell Princess Potter no such thing, and you'd be wise to choose your friends with greater care," he hissed and then took off down the hall. Sirius helped me up, and I watched as Jamie put a protective hand on Lily's back. She looked like she was nearly ready to cry over the whole exchange._

"_He used to be such a nice boy..." she whispered. I wrapped my arm around her._

"_I know, Lil. I wish that you'd been able to keep your childhood friend, like I kept mine," I said looking over at Sirius who now had all of my potions supplies back in my bag, which was thrown over his shoulder along with his own._

"_Yes, well, I don't plan on snogging Severus, so, guess it won't work out for me," she quipped back and I smiled at her._

"_Oh, and who do you plan on snogging there Lily?" I asked her, and she got that glint in her eye._

"_I will snog the boy who can make my feet feel like they're not touching the floor," she started into the little poem we'd written our first year, when snogging a boy was a dream, much like owning a unicorn._

"_A boy that gives me chocolates, and then gives me more," I joined her._

"_A boy that tells me I'm sweet and there is none more fair, but sad for us, that boy does not seem to be anywhere," we finished, linking arms and walking away from the guys, giggling wildly._

"_I could be that boy," Jamie yelled after her, which only made me laugh harder._

I smiled warmly at the memory, and undid the little fabric closure on the book and opened it up. The entire last half of this book was dedicated to the same potion, the one I had been working on since I was seventeen. I didn't even realize that I'd done it, but as I reached for my wand to begin scrying notes on the blackboard in my workspace, I found my other hand rubbing my own scar. I rolled my eyes at myself and mumbled something about personal motivation, and then got started. It felt good to be back at work.

I got all of my notes up on the board, and then went to start pulling supplies. David came in to ask if I needed any assistance, and I put him to work slicing up some pods and leaves for me. He asked polite questions about my life, and how 'motherhood' was treating me, and it dawned on me that I had never really thought of myself that way, and yet, it's what I had become. I reminded myself to bring in a picture of Harry, or maybe two, to decorate my desk with.

Halfway through the morning, a memo flew into my room and landed on my desk. By the color of the paper, I knew who it had to be from. There was no one else who would use purple paper with a light floral scent to it, and then top it off with silvery, sparkling ink. Only Grace de Montmorency would send a note like that, within the Ministry.

Grace was a roommate of Lily and I, and she lived up to the reputation of her great-grandmother, the witch who created some of the most used love potions in the world. Grace made her way through most of the boys at school, flirting and teasing was an art form with her. She was the complete opposite of Lily and I, she could care less about grades, and instead wanted to find love. As far as I knew, she was still looking. Grace worked in Magical Cooperation, as a liaison with the veela population. We all had thought that she'd taken the job with the hope of getting some tips from them.

The note was an invitation to lunch and I wrote back that I had plans, but she was welcome to join Amelia and I and sent the note zooming away. I had few secrets from Grace, you couldn't really keep much private from your roommates, and Lily and I soon found that having someone like Grace around was quite useful and lively; but most of all, Grace was a faithful and loyal friend, and when my heart was broken, she let me cry on her shoulder while she fed me chocolates. For that, we had bonded for life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9:**

**Promise**

_I was climbing up the stairs, following the note that I'd charmed to my brother or Sirius, didn't matter which one I found, the other would be by his side. The staircase circled around and the little note fluttered and flitted its way upward. I watched it duck into a room near the top of the tower, and I was very happy that my dorm wasn't nearly as high up as the boys was._

"_Guys, incoming, Ellie's here," I heard Sirius say, and then it was followed by a groan that I knew was my brother's voice. I stepped into the room and stopped short, the room was a dump. We'd only left the welcoming feast an hour ago, and there was stuff strewn everywhere here. Candy wrappers, parchment, books, potion supplies, blankets...I could swear that I had even seen a pair of dirty knickers peeking out from under the far bed. I stood there, my eyebrow crooked at the mess while my mouth was contorted into a horrified mask._

"_How did you mess this room already?" I muttered and Sirius came over and handed me back my note._

"_Talent I guess. Did you make that into a butterfly?" he asked._

"_Oh, um, yeah. I watched Mummy when she would send them to find you and Jamie or Daddy when you were late for dinner," I explained, still looking around in awe of the mess they'd made. I stood in the doorway, until Sirius got behind me and pushed me into the room and shoved some stuff off the bed so that I could sit._

"_How's your room?" Jamie asked, throwing me a licorice wand. I could see that he had quite a stash of candy with him, if Mummy knew, she'd be unhappy. I took a big bite of the wand, and then watched as Sirius pulled a bag from his trunk and dropped the contents on the bed. He had more sweets with him than my brother. I spied a large tongue color changing lollipop in the middle of all of it, and I really wanted it, but I wasn't going to take it from Sirius; since I knew that they were his favorite too. It was our secret, since it wasn't cool to walk around, a giant rainbow colored lollipop hanging from your mouth if you were a boy._

"_Fine," I responded. "One of the girls is really nice, and she's Muggle born. I wonder if she ever met the Queen?" I mused aloud. I loved looking at pictures of the royal family and wondered what it would be like to live in a palace. "The other two, I'm not so sure about. They were pulling their own linens out of their trunks, bright pink and fluffy purple ones. They clash with the drapes SO badly," I explained. Jamie shook his head._

"_Then they were doing each other's hair," I added with a snarl. It wasn't that I didn't care about how I looked, it was just that there were so many other things I could be doing with my time; and face it, if I was climbing a tree or sloshing through the rushes, having curls in my hair wouldn't have been practical._

"_You're in trouble," Jamie said._

"_Ellie, take something," Sirius said, pointing at his stash. I just shook my head at him, a little disappointed in my new roommates, and suddenly feeling homesick because Jamie wouldn't be across the hall if I got scared at night. Sirius picked up the lollipop and handed it to me. "You know you want it."_

"_Thanks," I said, feeling a little better, "but it's your favorite," I added in a whisper. He shook his head._

"_You look like you could use it more." I smiled at him._

"_So" Jamie started._

"_Sew buttons on your knickers," I responded and Jamie and Sirius started laughing, the boys across the room were looking at us with odd, lost expressions on their faces. "Hello, I'm Ellie. You are?" I said waving to the boy whose bed was across from Jamie. I remember seeing him at dinner and thinking that he needed a friend. I unwrapped the lollipop and started licking it._

"_Remus, Remus Lupin. Who are you?" He responded._

"_That's Ellie, pest extraordinaire," Jamie said loudly and I looked at him hurt._

"_El, don't look at me that way. Remus and Peter, this is Ellie, she's my little sister."_

"_Nice to meet you. Impressive charms work there, with the butterfly," Remus said with a very gentle smile._

"_Thanks, sorry you have to sleep in a room with these two, they snore," I added and Jamie threw a pillow at my head._

"_You're all related?" he asked, somewhat confused._

"_No, I just hang out with these two," Sirius said, throwing the pillow back at Jamie._

"_How long have you known each other?" Remus asked again._

"_Since we were seven," I told him and Jamie started laughing._

"_You were six, El."_

"_Fine, I was six, but I was almost seven," I recanted. "I was born 9 months and 22 days after Jamie, on August 31. Yesterday was my birthday, so I just squeaked into this year. He gets some weird pleasure out of pointing out that I'm younger," I explained and Remus nodded. "What color is my tongue?" I asked, not really speaking clearly, since my tongue was stuck out. What flavor the candy would be was based on the first color your tongue turned. Sirius and I had eaten enough of these over the years to know the patterns._

"_Um, it's blue," Remus said, still looking at me oddly._

"_Oh, yeah, I should start tasting the cinnamon soon," I chirped while bouncing on the bed. Sirius put his hands on my shoulders to stop me._

"_Making me sea-sick, Eleanor." I whipped my head around to look at him._

"_Told you, call me Eleanor and I will hex you." I pulled my wand out and pointed it at his mouth. Sirius hated my dragon breath hex that I'd learned from a cousin in Spain while we were away._

"_Got it, Ellie. What else about these roommates of yours? Any good gossip?" he asked me, scooting up to sit next to me._

"_Naw, one of them has a really famous grandmother or something, and she is boy crazy. She was already making a list of the boys she wanted to snog. Jamie's on the list, I didn't tell her that he's my brother," I added a eye roll for effect._

"_You are definitely not hanging out with her," Jamie said. "No snogging for my little sister."_

"_Great, I guess that means I'm hanging out with you four," I sighed._

Jamie's initial impression of Grace changed, but only after I had caught them snogging in the Common Room spring of our first year. I did not let him forget that at all that summer. Grace, Lily and I became fast friends, our fourth roommate, Margaret was nice; however, her sister was a year ahead, and in Ravenclaw, so she spent most of her free time with her and her friends.

Lily and I understood the benefit of having a friend like Grace when it came time to show interest in boys, she knew exactly what boys liked and she shared her knowledge with us. She was also there to hold my hand the first time I got my "monthly visit" my second year, since she'd been having hers for well over a year. Grace also taught me about French Kissing, and she even demonstrated the technique with me, although I never told my brother or boyfriend about it. Jamie, because he'd flip out and Sirius, because I knew that he'd want to watch.

Grace had dated Remus for most of our sixth year and into the seventh, and they had a good relationship. Sirius and I often double dated with them on Hogsmeade weekends, until that night. Grace regretted her actions and I was sure that she still looked at him as the "one that got away", and I knew that he pined for her too. He hadn't dated anyone, really, since we'd left school.

At five minutes to one, I got up and told David that I would be leaving, and he should check on the potion I had set to brew to make sure it didn't boil over while I was away. I left the department and headed to the lifts, asking to be taken to the canteen on the Atrium level. As I exited, I was surprised to see Sirius standing in the lobby. I called him and when his eyes met mine, his face broke out into a big smile.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" I asked when I got close enough. He took my hand, but we chose to do nothing more, since we were in public, and he was still married to Rosemund.

"I have a job interview," he explained. I looked at him shocked, Sirius had mentioned, months ago, that he wanted to go to work, but he hadn't done anything about it.

"Where? Here in the Ministry?" I asked looking over his shoulder again to see who was sitting at the check in desk. I'd had enough of Raleigh Rowle for one day, well one lifetime if I was honest.

"I'm interviewing in the Magical Accidents and Catastrophes," he said and I looked at him shocked.

"Really?" I looked over his shoulder again, scanning the room.

"Ellie, I've always been good at Defense and Transfigurations, and Charms was my best class. It's for Spell Damage and Reversal. I can help people who didn't do as well as me," he explained, and I nodded, but kept checking the room. "Why are you looking everywhere but at me?" Sirius sounded irritated, so I looked back at him.

"Sorry, had a run in with Raleigh Rowle this morning, and I'd like to avoid her," I explained.

"What happened?" he asked, bringing his hands up to rub my shoulders. I enjoyed the warmth of his touch for a moment, and then shook myself free.

"She tried to have me arrested on Adultery charges," I watched as he got upset. "Nothing happened, it just was a little humiliating. I have somewhere I need to be, but what time are you done?"

"I hate her family," he cursed under his breath.

"Don't worry about it, nothing happened and nothing can. I was assured of that. What time is your interview?"

"One-thirty, I should be going, I want to make a good impression. Where are you headed?"

"Oh, late lunch. Meeting Grace and Amelia Bones in the canteen. Come and find me when you're through? I'll be there for about an hour and then back down in my lab," I told him and he nodded.

"Promise, now, do I dare sneak an embrace from my beautiful love out here in the open?" he asked, clearly planning on doing so. I looked around again, and saw a photographer on the far side of the lobby. He was looking the other way, but I didn't think we should risk it.

"How about if we wait until we're home? Too many people here. I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too."

We parted ways, he going to the lifts and I headed toward the canteen. Grace was standing at the entrance to the dining facilities, and met me with a huge hug.

"Ooh, look at you," she purred. "Your hair is so long, but sweetheart, you need to do something with it, just a little trim would make it curl so nice. I can teach you the charm," Grace told me, holding onto my arms.

"I like my hair just the way it is," I reminded her. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in ages."

"I'm good, life is good. Going to France on another diplomatic mission," she explained and I smiled at her. "Can't wait to see some of those French Quidditch players."

"So, you're not dating anyone?"

"Any **one**, no, but I am dating," she said with a flip of her hair.

"Same old Grace. Come on, I have someone else that I'm meeting. Do you remember Amelia Bones, from Hufflepuff?" I asked as we walked into the canteen. I quickly scanned the room and found Amelia at a table in the back, in a rather secluded corner, facing the door. She waved to us and Grace and I headed over.

After some quick introductions we went through the line and got some lunch. I was able to pay for everyone's with little effort, a skill I had learned from watching my father. We headed back to the table, which Amelia had charmed to let anyone who might want to claim it know that we already had. There was a little bit of light conversation, and then Amelia jumped right into what she wanted to tell me.

"Ellie, after the trial at the Wizengamot, I petitioned the chief to look at the full records of the Betrothal between Sirius and Rosemund and all of the related documents. He willingly agreed," she explained. "I have to ask, does a Caterwauling Charm really go off if he kisses you?"

"Yes," I confirmed, "but it's not just kissing. If we're basically intimate in any way, the charm will go off. There was a Locater Charm attached as well, allowing either of his parents to arrive and curse us as well. We've been saved that humiliation, since the house is under the Fidelius Charm. She can't find us to come and curse us. Over the last few months, we've figured out exactly what we can do and what we can't." The entire situation had me discouraged.

"Wow, what kind of demented..." Amelia stopped short and I nodded in agreement. "Well here's the interesting thing, there's a Paternity Clause written into it."

"I know, if Sirius and Rosemund produced an heir, her inheritance increased by like 100%, which would guarantee her roughly 40% of the Black estate upon Wallburga's death," I interjected. I knew this, my father had thought that it was odd, especially since she was reduced to using love potions and spells to get Sirius to touch her. They'd only been intimate nine times in all of the years they'd been married. I knew each of the dates by heart.

"No, not the one in the Betrothal Contract, the one in the Fidelity Contract," Amelia corrected me.

"There's one in the Fidelity Contract? Why would there be one there?" I asked. My father had reviewed these documents for years, and he'd never found anything that gave him any hope of breaking them.

"It would seem that Orion Black was very concerned about having an heir, any heir, to the Black family name. Sirius and his brother were the end of the bloodline, so if either of them were to reproduce, the bloodline would be continued. In the Fidelity Contract, it clearly states that if Sirius were to have a confirmed blood heir, he would be bound to marry the mother of said heir," Amelia announced, looking so proud of herself. I thought about this for a moment, and I couldn't see how this would help.

"Amelia, I'm sure that was just put in as another way to secure his relationship with Rosemund, since she's the only woman he can..." I couldn't think of how to phrase this, "...impregnate."

"Um, yes, well that's the strange part. It doesn't state Rosemund. Everywhere else she is listed by name, but in this clause, the woman is referred to as 'the mother of the child', which implies that it could be any woman," she said triumphantly. I still didn't see how this could help.

"I hate to be indelicate here," Grace interrupted, "but if Ellie and Sirius can't be intimate, how is she going to get pregnant?" I nodded at Grace, thankful again for her bringing things to a point.

"I don't know, but there has to be a way that we can help her get pregnant with Sirius' child, without going against the betrothal or fidelity contracts. I think we'll just need to be creative about it," Amelia said, still sounding hopeful. I was lost in my thoughts, would it really be this easy, not that this would be easy, but honestly, I just needed to have his child and we really could be a family?

"Ladies, while I don't want to be a damp doxy here, I know of no potion that can make one pregnant. Help along a pregnancy, enhance the health of one, heck even fake one, but I've never come across one for making you pregnant," I confessed.

"I don't know of any charms either, but it isn't like that would be one that they'd teach at Hogwarts now would it," Grace added with her usual enthusiasm.

"Well, before we chuck the idea, I think that we should do some research. I have a friend that just became a Healer, I'll see what she has to say, and I'm going to look into what Muggles do about this situation. I mean, there are horrible accidents and illness in the Muggle world, men who can't..." she made a funny face and waved her hand in such a way to indicate what a man's anatomy was supposed to do in that situation, which gave us all the giggles. That wasn't an issue in the Wizarding world. Healers could repair just about anything and there were charms to help anything else. "Perhaps one of their solutions would work."

"Well, I'm going to France next week, and if there is one thing that the French know, it would be the wonders of sex," Grace said and my eyes went wide. "Oh, don't look that way, Ellie. If you were getting more, you wouldn't blush so."

"Well, thank you for your editorial comment there," I muttered, clearly flustered; thankfully, Amelia looked the same. "I'll do some research on potions, maybe even develop one of my own; I can be my own test subject."

Amelia stopped to take a look at her watch. "Goodness, I have a department meeting in ten. How about if we have lunch when you return Grace, and this time, we'll do it outside of the building. We seem to have garnered some unwanted attention," she said, pointing to a table across the room. Raleigh was sitting with another girl who looked like she might have been a relation, their heads pressed together, leering at me.

"Delightful, and Sirius is in the building. The last thing that he needs is to run into her, on the first day he's come to the Ministry since his trial," I sighed. I couldn't figure out how I was going to get in touch with him.

"Where is he?" Amelia asked.

"Um, Magical Catastrophes. He's interviewing for a job," I explained.

"I'll go head him off and send him to down to your lab. Thanks for lunch, and don't let Raleigh get to you," she said, before she got up and pushed her chair under. I watched her leave, and then I heard Grace.

"So?"

"Sew buttons on your knickers," I responded and she giggled, knowing how Jamie and I had always responded to each other when we'd asked that stupid one word question.

"Can't do it, Ellie. Make it too hard for the gents to get in. I need to know, how are you handling living in the house with Sirius?" she questioned me, elbows on the table, head resting on them, looking at me expectantly.

"The house isn't the problem, Grace. Sharing the bed with him," I sighed. "I love waking up in his arms, we've been doing it since we've...well really since we started dating, but..."

"But...but...but what? Is he telling you what he'd like to do to you? Are you taking care of yourselves in each other's presence? Has he at least gotten you some nice toys?" I looked at Grace, and I wasn't so happy she was so comfortable with her own body, so she'd want to discuss these things.

"Grace, I take long runs, Sirius takes protracted showers, end of story," I explained, knowing that I was blushing wildly.

"My dear," she smiled at me like she was a tiger getting ready to pounce. "there are so many better ways to take care of that unrelieved tension than running. Good thing Miss Grace is here to take care of you. Now, I need to get back to work, but you and I are meeting before I go to France; give you a little care package to use until we get this all straightened out." She told me, getting up. I was stunned, so I just sat there. Grace took out her wand and waved it over the trash and everything went back to where it would be either disposed of or cleaned to be reused. "Where do you live?"

"Can't tell you," I said with relief. There wasn't any way that Grace would bring, whatever it was that she was thinking about to work, right?

"That's right, pesky Fidelius Charm. Professor Dumbledore is the Secret Keeper, right?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Well, I'll be taking a trip to see him at Hogwarts so I can find out. See you tomorrow night, then."

"Remus lives with us too," I blurted out, and then wishing that I'd prepped her better for the announcement. She'd pulled away from him when his secret was revealed, when Severus Snape had revealed it our seventh year. I knew that Grace regretted it, but she still couldn't bring herself to really forgive him for not telling her himself.

"I see, well..." she muttered, still looking away. Her posture had changed, she looked like the wind was knocked out of her. "Good to know before I got there. I'll see you tomorrow, Ellie." Grace walked out of the room, not noticing that Raleigh and her friend had gotten up. I groaned inwardly, there was no way to leave without walking right past them.

I took a deep breath and started walking from the canteen, keeping my eyes directed forward.

"Slag," I heard Raleigh say, and I just closed my eyes and kept walking. I nearly got to the door when I heard her call after me. "He will stay married to her, I'll make sure of it. You'll be dead before I ever let him ruin my sister that way." I could feel hot tears pricking at my eyes, and I was determined to not let that little snot see me cry. I walked to the lifts, and thankfully Gulliver was opening his gates as I arrived. I quickly got it and went and stood behind him, shielding my view from the lobby. Several other people got in, told him what floors they wanted and we were off. I tried to hold it in, but a ragged breath escaped me and I wiped my face with the sleeve of my robe, turning so I was facing more of the wall than the rest of the room.

"You okay there Miss Potter?" Gulliver asked me.

"Uh-huh" I was able to mutter out.

"I just dropped your friend off on your floor. I hope that helps," he whispered, and I smiled at his kindness.

"It does, thank you," I told him as I got out. I nearly ran my way down to my lab and into my small space in the back. Sirius was sitting on the stool, reading my formulations on the wall. He stood up when he saw me and I ran right into his arms, sobbing now. It wasn't what Raleigh had said, or even the name that she'd called me; I was crying because for the first time I had hope that this tortured life that we had been living might have an end.

"Lolly, hey sweetheart, what's the matter?" he asked me, stroking my back as he held me to him

"Nothing, well it's something, but it's nothing that we can talk about here. Home, I promise, at home," I whimpered and he continued to hold and caress the sadness from me. "Tell me about your interview."

"Well, I got the job. I'm on the Accidental Spell reversal team, start next week," he told me and I pulled away to look at him. He looked so excited.

"I'm so proud of you, congratulations. How about a night out? We'll go into town, go to that little Muggle pub with the really good food?" I suggested and he looked thrilled at the idea.

"Then you'll tell me what has you so upset?"

"Tonight, I promise. I need to talk with Remus too, Grace is hoping to come over tomorrow."

"Well, that will be...yikes," Sirius said, knowing that if he thought we had tension, it was nothing compared to what they would have.

We talked a while more, and I reminded him that Raleigh was in the building, he understood, and pulled his hood up over his face before leaving. I promised I would be home by five thirty, and he kissed my temple before he left. There was nothing like his lips on me to calm me, and I got butterflies in my belly thinking about finally being able to really kiss him again.

The rest of the afternoon was relatively uneventful. Raleigh tried to come into the lab, but Prentiss stopped her, stating only certified personnel were allowed. It was a bold faced lie, but she took it at face value and left. I thanked him for it when he came to check on me. At twenty-five minutes after five, I put my potions into stasis mode, so that nothing would happen to them overnight and went back up to the atrium to apparate home. Now that everything was back to normal, I sneaked out the service entrance and apparated behind the building.

I was met at home by my three favorite people, waiting in the yard. Harry was swinging in the little swing that was attached to a study tree branch, while Remus pushed him and Sirius paced; I wasn't sure why he was pacing, I was much more interested in the delighted squeals emanating from my nephew. As soon as I slipped through the wards, Sirius was at my side.

"What happened? Why were you so upset? What do you need to tell me?" he peppered me with questions while his hands moved up to my face and held it.

"Sirius, calm down," I told him. "I will talk with you about it later, right now, I am taking you out to celebrate your new job. We also need to consider how we are handling Harry's care. We can't just put him in the Ministry Day Care and we're not getting a house elf to do it," I told him, adamantly.

"I've got it all figured out," he proclaimed. "However, I want to know what had you so upset."

"Sirius, it's a long conversation, and it's not one that a toddler should be hearing. Tonight after we get Harry in bed, I need to talk with you and Remus. Did you tell him that Grace was coming over?" He seemed to slump a little, and looked at me with his dreaded "puppy-dog eyes".

"Fine, I'll tell him that too," I wigged free enough to turn, just as Harry's little feet hit the ground from being levitated out of the swing by Remus. He started yelling and running as quickly as he could.

"Ehwwie, Ehwwie," he cried as he ran into my arms. I lifted him and gave him a big hug. "Miss you, Ehwwie."

"I missed you too, big guy. Were you good for Uncle Mus?"

"Yup. Took nap his bed."

"You napped on Mus's bed? Why did you take your nap there?" I asked Harry, looking over his head at the resident werewolf. He looked like he'd gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Cause wanted to."

"I see, well, I think that it's better if you nap in your bedroom from now on."

"Dunder and wightning?" He asked, looking scared.

"No, Harry. If there is thunder and lightning, then you can come and sleep with us. But, if it's not thundering and lightning, I want you to sleep in your own bed, like a big boy. Okay?"

"'Kay. See Inny tonight!" he told me joyfully and I started to shake my head, but I heard Remus pipe up.

"When Molly found out about Sirius' news, she invited us over for pudding. We're to be there by seven," he explained and I smiled while nodding in understanding.

"Well, it would seem that you will see Ginny after all. Let me take off my work robes and get your nappie bag and then we'll be off." I told Harry as I handed him off to Sirius, while I ran in the house and threw my work robes over the hook by the door and grabbed the sweater that was there. I had worn Muggle street clothes, new ones that Molly and I had gone out shopping for, under my work robes this morning. When I finally purchased clothing that fit me, I found that I preferred Muggle slacks to nearly anything else. They were comfortable and moved with me. I was now only wearing robes as my outer layer.

Remus had packed the navy blue bag we kept Harry's going out stuff in, extra clothes, nappies, his dishes and bibs as well as a few toys. He was very good when we were out, especially among Muggles, which wasn't a surprise, since James and Lily tended to stay in the Muggle world more than the Wizarding one, once they understood that Harry was being targeted. He was safer away from our world.

Dinner was pleasant, and Harry did very well while he waited for his food. He told me about his day, and we played a game with his silverware, a napkin and three crackers that had him thrilled. He ate well, and we were nearly finished with dinner, before I even had the sense to check my watch.

"Oh, Harry, if you want to see Ginny, I need you to take three more bites of your dinner, then you may be finished," I told him, as Harry speared a carrot chunk with his little fork. A woman from town, the one who worked at the fruit and vegetable stand, came over to our table.

"My, how he's growing. I haven't seen him in a few months. Your son is so well behaved," she cooed at him.

"He's not..." Sirius started, but I spoke over him.

"Thank you so much. He is growing like a weed. Have the spring leeks come in yet?" I asked her, hoping to change the subject.

"Just in today, we'll be getting fresh ones every few days," she explained and I nodded at her.

"I'll be by for some in a few days. Thank you." I then turned to Harry, "Come on, two more bites."

She left us, but Sirius looked at me, surprised. "Why didn't you correct her, about Harry being your son?"

"Because," I started and then took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to say this best. "It's difficult to explain quickly that I'm not his mother, but his aunt and legal guardian. Then, people begin to look at us, there are three of us adults here. You're his godfather," I said pointing at Sirius "and he's our roommate. I'm not married to either of you, so really, it's just too complex. I figure if I just politely say thank you, people tend to move on."

The guys both looked at me like I was a bit crazy, but then they let it go. Harry finished the his supper and I paid the bill, and then we walked out of town so that we could apparate to the edge of the Burrow's wards. I took Harry, and as soon as I set him down on the walk to the house, he was running and calling Ginny's name.

Molly had made a caramel and chocolate torte that was to die for, and I needed the recipe for those nights when nothing else would make the hurt go away like chocolate. After we'd eaten, everyone retired to the sitting room, while the older boys went and played. Ron, Harry and Ginny were on the floor. Ginny was sitting up on her own, and Harry was holding her hand and giving her toys. She was looking at him like he was the best thing in the world.

"You know Molly, I think that you've lost your daughter there," I teased her and she smiled.

"They do seem to have a connection with each other," she mused. I watched them playing together, and I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic, seeing the little boy who looked so like my brother, playing with a little girl whose flaming red hair was just like his mummy's. Sirius must have sensed my change in mood, for he wrapped his arm around me and whispered in my ear; "I miss them too."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Hi everyone, thanks so much for the amazing response that I got from the last chapter. I just want to let everyone know that the story begins earning it's Mature rating in this chapter. Consider yourself warned. Thanks for reading, Mutt**

**Chapter 10:**

**Touched**

I sat alone on my bed, brushing my hair out. I wanted out of my clothes, into something more comfortable when I'd gotten back. I also wanted ten minutes alone, without the tension that the ensuing conversation would bring. I was now debating with how much I should tell Sirius. This might just be a mirage, something that looks solid and life giving from a distance, and then when you get close, evaporates into the mist. I didn't want to get his hopes up, if nothing was ever going to come from it. I was willing to carry that pain all on my own for now. Like so many I had carried for us over the years.

_I could see the sun rising through the slats of the shutters on the windows. We were alone, in his bed at the my family's summer house. We weren't coming out here this year, too many plans for Jamie's wedding had to be taken care of. My parents knew where we were, and I was fairly certain that they knew what we were doing. They would see him later this morning. I didn't want the sun to rise, I didn't want today to begin. I closed my eyes to the brightening beyond the window, and curled myself deeper into his chest. He purred in delight at my wiggling closer to him._

"_I thought that you were asleep," I said in a quiet voice. There wasn't anyone in the house, and yet, we felt the need to whisper to one another._

"_I don't want to sleep, I've got the rest of my life to sleep, Lolly. Tonight, I want to remember every minute of being with you," he told me, and I started to cry, against my own wishes to do so._

"_Don't, don't do it. We'll run away. We can hide somewhere and just be us and we won't do magic, and no one will be able to find us, please," I begged him._

"_I won't do that to you," he said as he pulled me on top of him. "You'd never see your parents or your brother again. I can't take them away from you."_

"_But I want you, I always will want you, and after today, I can't have you. Please, please for me, lets run away," I begged, but he held firm._

"_Ellie Potter, listen to me and listen to me good. You are the only woman that I will ever love. You are my heart and my soul and we are tied to one another. I will find a way back to you, never doubt that. I love you more than words can express, and as soon as I can get myself free from her, I will be back to you. No matter what you hear or what you might think, this is the truth. I will share my life with you," Sirius spoke in such clear and concise words that I had no way not to believe him._

"_Then love me again. Let our final moments be this way," I asked and he pulled me down to kiss him. We made love for the last time and shortly after sunrise, Jamie and Remus came to the house. Remus provided Sirius cover story, that he'd been out carousing with his friends. Jamie was there to scoop up the puddle of me that was left behind from our parting._

_Mummy and Daddy would be in attendance at the wedding, along with Remus and Lily, Jamie was staying here with me. The pain was overwhelming, I knew when their union had become official, and I knew when she had him that night as well. I remained silent, not letting my howling screams of agony break free from me, instead, they simply echoed with in head. My skin felt as though it was peeling away from my flesh and my heart was consumed by fire. Jamie watched me, saying nothing, but his eyes, oh his eyes told the story of how he wished he could protect me from the pain I was feeling._

_And then the memory goes black; where Jamie finally did do something. Something that haunts me to this day._

"Lolly, you okay there dear?" Sirius asked. I hadn't even realized that he was sitting on the bed with me. I hastily wiped the single tear that had slid down my cheek away, not wanting him to ask me what I was thinking about.

"Yeah, um, just have a stubborn knot," I lied.

"Oh, well, we're ready to talk downstairs. I even made you some evening tea," he said, running his hand over my back. I really didn't want to do this now, I would much rather just lie down and let him hold me. But I needed to tell him something, and I had to the bottom of the stairs to decide just how much something that was going to be.

I sat down on the overstuffed sofa and tucked my legs up under me. It had been a warm day today, nice for May; but now I could feel a chill coming over the sash of the windows, wicking away the sun drenched warmth from the day. Sirius must have sensed this, as he brought me the afghan that my Mum had knitted for me when I moved into my flat and draped it across my lap and then handed me my tea. I loved chamomile and mint tea, and it really did make me feel better, partly because it reminded me of my father and evenings sitting and talking with him.

Remus sat across from us, in the chair by the fireplace; Sirius was at my side, his arm wrapped around me.

"Okay, Ellie, what the hell happened at work today?" I couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"Well, several things. Let me start at the beginning of the day. I had to check in, and of course, Raleigh Rowle is the one working at the desk," I started and the boys both rolled their eyes at Rosemund's younger sister. She's always been unpleasant, and she'd tried to go after both Jamie and Remus while we were in school. "Quite. She tried to have me arrested on charges of Adultery. Officers from the MLE came down, and told her that they couldn't arrest me, and I was free to go. It was humiliating, but nothing like that will happen. However, something good did come from my the experience," I told them and they both looked at me puzzled. "I ran into Amelia Bones again."

"Right, you had lunch with her?" Sirius asked and I nodded.

"I did, and it turns out that she's been reviewing the documents related to Sirius Betrothal" I told them and they both looked puzzled. "All the documents."

"Okay, but your father and several other solicitors have looked at them, and we've never found anything. Why would it matter that Amelia was looking?" Sirius asked and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Well, it would appear that there is indeed a bit that's been overlooked in the past. In your Fidelity Contract, there is a clause regarding an heir," I explained, and let the words hang in the air. Sirius started shaking his head.

"No, it's in the Betrothal one. Rosemund gets more gold if she produces an heir. That's why I'm so happy to be living here with you, she was doing everything short of Imperiusing me to get me to sleep with her."

"Yes, I knew about that one; however, there is one in the Fidelity Contract. What Amelia found was that if you were to produce an heir, you would be required to marry the child's mother." I felt like I could watch the wheels turning in Remus head.

"Wouldn't that mean Rosemund?" Sirius asked. I started shaking my head at him.

"Amelia didn't think so. Everywhere else, she's named but in this particular clause, her name is quite obviously absent. It would have been just like your father to make sure that there was a Black heir, rather than worry about the mother being your wife."

Sirius couldn't seem to wrap his head around what I was saying, but Remus broke out into a wide smile. "So, Amelia thinks that if you can get pregnant with Sirius child," my head nodded my assent, "he'd be free to divorce her and be contractually bound to marry you, as the mother of his child?"

"I believe that's where she's headed," I responded.

"And she's talked with someone else in the MLE about this? Has anyone else reviewed her findings?" Remus queried, always the contemplative one.

"I believe that she has. She took the findings to Dumbledore, who remarked that he didn't understand how he'd missed it," I retorted, to which Remus smiled even more.

"That's amazing. Wow. She's got quite a mind on her," he exclaimed, sounding very impressed.

"It would appear that she does," I affirmed. I turned to look at Sirius, who was still looking quite confused and uncertain.

"I still can't quite...even if this is true, how am I going to get you pregnant?"

"Well, that part...um...we haven't quite figured it out yet. Amelia was going to do some research on with a healer on it and I am going to do some potions reviews to see if I find anything and we have someone working on Charms that might be effective in this area. It's sort of her area of expertise," I said, hoping that Remus wouldn't ask who. I was feeling quite chicken, and I thought maybe I'd just let her show up and then I wouldn't have to feel bad about telling him that the girl that broke his heart was coming to visit. I watched as he opened his mouth, and I knew that I'd have no such luck.

"Who, Ellie?"

"Grace." Remus closed his eyes and sat up straighter, looking down into his tea cup. "She's coming by tomorrow."

"Oh, I see," he whispered, and then was silent. I looked at Sirius and I could tell that my face had a pained expression on it. I hated doing this to Remus, but I really think that if they talked over what happened five years ago, they might find a way to reconcile. "I think that I shall head up to the hunting cabin then, make sure that the supplies are ready for this month's change."

"Remus, please, don't go." I asked him.

"I don't want to see her, Ellie."

"I know that she hurt you, but she misses you. Please stay, say hello. I can use all of the support that I can get, plus with you here, she might not get too carried away," I asked him and his eyes met mine.

"You think that she wants to see me?" I nodded.

"I do, I wouldn't lie to you about this." He didn't say anything, he just went back to staring at his tea cup.

"What do you mean about her getting too carried away?" Sirius asked, knowing exactly what Grace was like. I could see the smirk on his face.

"Well, see, she's concerned about me, because you're living here." I told him, being as intentionally evasive as I could.

"Why? What's she concerned about?" I could feel the blush rising from my neck and I wanted to bury myself under the blanket; which is exactly what I did.

"Ellie Potter, what are you hiding from?" Sirius said with a laugh of delight in his voice.

"Gracie is concerned that the only way I have to...deal with my tension from sleeping with you is running; and she thinks that I need a better way. Soshe'sbringingmetoystohelpme." I blurted out as fast as I could. Sirius ripped the blanket off of me, but I had tucked my head into my shirt so that he couldn't see my face.

"All I got there was tension and toys. Ellie, is Grace bringing you sex toys?" Sirius said, sounding delighted. I nodded.

"Oh my goodness, Ellie Potter is going to have..." he yelled.

"Finish that sentence and I will put a silencing charm on Remus and I and then kiss you so that you have to hear the Caterwauling yourself," I threatened. Sirius immediately stopped and shut his eyes and mouth tightly to hold in the laugh he had inside.

"Please, let me get this straight. My ex-girlfriend is bringing you...aides, tomorrow," Remus asked and I nodded. "And you want me here?" I nodded again. "Why in the hell would I agree to that, Ellie?"

"Because you want to help me out, help us out?"

"I can't believe that I'm agreeing to this. You know that if it were anyone else, Ellie..."

"I know, thank you."

We talked for a while longer, and I promised to keep them in the loop about what our little research group yielded. I was trying so hard not to get my hopes up, but I could see in Sirius face that he was excited, which frightened me. I didn't know if we could survive having the promise of a future there once again, only to watch it fade away again.

As we talked, we came up with more things that needed to be considered, and Sirius even proposed going to some of his families seedier contacts to see if there was anything that was available, but not necessarily above board. I dissuaded him from doing that, something told me that we needed to keep this as secret as possible. After we were in bed, Sirius wrapped his arms around me and turned my face to his, our noses a hair from touching.

"Lolly, tell me, is this something you want? Do you want to have a baby?"

"I don't want to have a baby, love. I want to have your baby. To be the mother of your child...it is all that I have ever wanted since I was thirteen and you first kissed me. I knew that I was in love with you that first night." His fingers caressed through my hair and down my neck and I could feel the gooseflesh erupting all over me from his touch.

"I was so nervous that night. Jamie was inside, having to do extra chores with your Mum and he was angry that I didn't stay to help him; but I wasn't the one who'd tried to charm the silverware to dance. Man, it was nasty, having to polish all of it, by hand. Anyway, I knew that he was going to be stuck inside that night, all night; which meant that I could find you and spend some time alone with you," he explained.

"How long were planning on kissing me?"

"Um...well...I wanted to the summer before, but you were only twelve and I didn't think that it was right. Then I wanted to for like all of our third year, but we weren't ever alone, except for that one day, when Remus was in the hospital wing and James and Lily both had the Fidgeting Fever, so we were walking to class together."

"When we had to go down to Care of Magical Creatures in the snow? I remember that day, you carried my bag for me, you told me that you were afraid I will slip on the ice if I was carrying it."

"That's the day, I kept trying to stop you before we got back to the castle so that I could kiss you, but you said you were cold and you just kept walking faster," he reminded me.

"Sorry, but if I remember, it was really cold that day. Why did it take you so long to finally kiss me then?"

"I was afraid that you wouldn't like me the way that I liked you, and you were my best mates sister; if it didn't work, it would have been a mess." I was intrigued by what he was saying, so I got up on one elbow and looked at him, kissing his temple.

"So, why did you finally kiss me that night?" Sirius pulled me down so that I was nearly lying on top of him, and we were surprised that there wasn't any screeching going on in the air around us, so we let it go. I felt so safe and warm in his arms, pressed up against his chest.

"I couldn't wait any more, I had to know. If you weren't going to like me that way, I needed to know; but I really hoped that you would. I knew I'd find you up in the tree house, reading those potions books that you'd snuck out of the house again," he said and I could feel my cheeks redden. "Don't, it was endearing how hard you were always working on them."

"I found you sitting there, practicing cutting roots. You looked so beautiful, biting your bottom lip like you still do when you're concentrating. Lolly, it was...you were chatting away, but I had no idea what you were saying." He was looking at me with such intensity that it was taking my breath away now to remember it.

"You took my hand," I reminded him, "and you told me that there was something that you wanted to talk with me about. I was afraid that you didn't want to be friends with me anymore, because I was a girl. Then you told me that you fancied me, and that you wanted to try something. That's when you kissed me."

We were both panting for breath at this point, staring at each other. "I've wanted your lips on me ever since," I confessed. "I thought that I was flying when you kissed me that first time, it was...god I miss the way your lips feel on me. I want it so badly," I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.

"Tell me, tell me what you want," Sirius breathed back, as his fingers moved along the edge of my earlobe and down along my hairline on my neck.

"What?"

"Ellie, tell me what you want. Tell me what you desire, please," he begged. I wasn't sure what it was the he wanted to hear, or even if this was such a good idea, but I was so overwhelmed with emotions, I wasn't thinking to clearly.

"I want you lips on me, everywhere. I love when you kiss down my neck and then kiss where your mark is on me," I whispered.

"I love doing that," he moaned back. "I love your breasts, the way they feel, the way they harden when I touch them and they taste," my breath caught as he spoke, I could almost feel what he was saying. "My Lolly, they are as sweet as your mouth, but not as sweet as..." my eyes popped open, and I must have shifted enough on him that he stopped talking before he finished his sentence.

"It tasted sweet?" I asked him. He'd only done that twice and we'd never really discussed it afterwards.

"Like honey, my sweet, sweet Lolly. What I wouldn't do to taste such sweetness again."

"You will, I promise." I closed my eyes again, because I could feel his hands rubbing up and down my spine and it was making me pant. His hands grasped the top of my pajamas, and I was surprised when he pulled it up and off of me. We were entering dangerous territory here, both without our shirts, me lying on top of him, in our bed, clearly worked up. I quickly grabbed his wand from the bedside table, as it was closer than mine, and put up a Silencing Charm, just in case. I didn't want to wake Harry, or deal with the sniggers from Remus.

I could feel my breasts pressed up against him, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how this wasn't making the charm go off, but I wasn't going to complain either. It felt so good, so very right. We were meant to be with each other this way, but stupid laws had gotten in our way.

I was getting quite aroused, and I could feel he was the same way. I knew that we should stop, this wasn't going to end well and we'd both be awake half the night, feeling frustrated; but I just couldn't bring myself to stop.

"Tell me," I whispered. "Tell me what you want, love."

"I want to love you, Lolly. I want to slide in you and stay there, forever. I love the way that I feel when I'm with you. It's like heaven on earth, my dear sweet Lolly."

"Oh," I groaned. "I want that to, the way that you feel when you're with me," I panted. "I love how your arms feel against me, so strong and when your weight is on me..." my breathing was rapid and shallow now, and we were getting far too close, this had to stop.

I slid myself off of him slightly, I couldn't stay there, feeling his hardness against me and not do anything else.

"Don't, please, don't pull away, Ellie."

"Sirius, I can't, we can't..." I rambled. "You've got to be getting uncomfortable there, and it's not fair to you."

"I can take care of this." He said quietly, but he made no move to leave the bed. It took me a moment, but then it dawned on me what he was suggesting.

"I can't really help you, I'm sure that would be going too far," I postulated.

"I know," he answered, "but you could hold me, and stay here with me, while I..." I scooted back toward him and curled myself against him, my one arm wrapping across his chest while the other went down to caress his wrist. I watched as he slipped his pajama pants down and let himself go free.

It was remarkable to watch this, to feel this close to him. I whispered how much I loved him, how I wished that it was me touching him, and I promised that as soon as we could; it would be my hands on him, my fingers embracing this most intimate part of him. When he was done, I watched as he cleaned up and redressed himself.

"Now, my lovely Lolly, what can we do for you?"

"Uh, a three mile run? Sirius, I never...um...I run for a reason."

"Oh, you...really?"

"Yeah, never really got the hang of it?" I said, holding my hands up. "Thing was, you were the first one to ever...and you were always there to do it for me, and then after...I just never had the desire to. Maybe I do need Grace's goodie bag?" Sirius chuckled at my last statement.

"Well then, I give you an I owe you for tomorrow night, once the goodies are here," he promised and we curled up to go to sleep, letting words of love be the last things we said for the night.

Grace and I were sitting on our bed the next evening, the door was shut and she had spread her goodies out for us to look at. I was mortified at the sheer array and volume of what she'd brought. I never knew that such things came in so many varieties and colors.

"This one here, I picked it up in Ibiza when I went for holiday last year, well I picked up three of them, just because it's so good. It vibrates and warms up, quite nice to the touch, see," she tried to hand it to me. I looked at her a little concerned.

"You haven't...used it before...have you?" I asked sheepishly.

"Of course not, silly. This is a new one, I didn't bring you anything from my goodie drawer at home, only from my overflow stock," she explained and I took the pink item from her. I couldn't believe that I was holding such a thing, I had never been more embarrassed. I looked at my clock, I only had to endure this for another twenty minutes, and then the guys would be back with Harry so that we could have some tea and dessert before Harry's bedtime.

"Now, these are some gels and things, that will help keep you from getting chaffed," she pointed to potion phials and tubes with some of the most ridiculous names that I could ever think of. I wasn't sure if my blush could get any deeper, but looking at names now, I was pretty sure that it was indeed deepening. "This one here is my personal favorite, and I understand that it's quite good for the guys as well." She handed me a red glittering tube and I couldn't even bring myself to wrap my fingers around it.

"It didn't seem to be an issue last night," I mumbled, remembering Sirius from last night, but it must have been loud enough for Grace to hear me, as she pressed her hands together and bounced on the bed.

"Really, what happened? Tell me, everything," she demanded. I wasn't sure that I wanted to kiss and tell, well there actually wasn't any kissing involved, so I guess that I was holding and telling. I buried my face and decided to tell her as quickly as possible.

"We were talking about the first time that he kissed me, and it lead to a discussion of what we both missed and we were both pretty worked up and I laid here and held him while he..." I waved my arms around, hoping that she wasn't going to make me finish the sentence.

"Oh, that's good, and then did he, hold you while you did the same?" I shook my head. "Bastard, a gentleman always makes sure that a lady finishes."

"Sweetie, it wasn't his fault. I'm sure that he would have, I just...well, I usually run," I explained and it took a moment and then Grace seemed to get the full implications of what I was saying.

"Wait, let me get this straight, you can't?" I nodded at her. "Have you ever been able to?"

"Not on my own," I confessed. "Sirius was able to, before everything, but well, I haven't since..." she flung herself down on the bed, groaning.

"Oh my Merlin, Ellie. How did you survive? Oh, we are so getting you the right one here and then I'm going to explain to you how to work it right. Bollocks, never?" I shrugged my shoulders at her, not really sure what the big deal was. It had been four years, I wasn't really missing it.

"Okay, looking at all of them here, which one was closest to the right size?" she asked, and I looked at her horrified. There was no way that I was going to disclose that information to her. What if he was abnormal or something? I didn't want Grace knowing about it.

"Grace, that's just...no, I won't tell you that."

"Ellie, it's not like I'm going to tell him that I know, come now, dear. I just think that if we're going to school you in the fine art of self gratification, we might as well do it with the tool that most resembles what you're going to be playing with, eventually. Believe me, if we start out with the wrong one, when the real thing does come along, you'd just have to learn all over again. Now, look around here, and tell me which one most resembles what you saw last night."

I rubbed my eyes again and wished that I could just send her and her goodies away, but I knew that wasn't going to happen until she'd provided me with something. I figured it was better to just get this over and done with, I never had to take the thing out of the drawer in the bathroom in the future. I looked over the multi colored implements in front of me and thought I might be ill. There were several that were obviously too small or too skinny. I finally narrowed it down to two, and then after a moments more of deliberation, picked up a deep purple device. It was somehow both stiff and squishy at the same time, and it feel odd in my hand.

Grace's mouth got wide and her eyes were as big as the buttons on my winter cloak. "Holy smokes, Ellie, are you sure?"

"Um, yeah, why?"

"It's just...bloody hell Ellie, he's, oh sweet girl, you're in for some fun when the two of you can finally...really? You're completely sure?" I had never seen Grace gobsmacked, it caused a slight smile to cross my face, and a rather satisfied sense of ease to enter me.

"I'm sure Grace."

"Well, then, if we're going to get the two of you together, we've really got to get you ready for it. Um, this model has a built in lubrication system, so you just need to charm it, as well as a gentle vibration mode. All you have to do is tap it with your wand to get it started. You will have to magically replenish it when you're done, but I will teach you the incantation. Wow, I am...Ellie, you are one lucky girl."

Grace spent the next ten minutes explaining the charms and how to activate them, and then gave me some tips on using it. I did eventually feel my blush recede slightly, but only slightly. I was never so thankful to hear the chime go off, letting me know that the others had returned and that Grace and I needed to be headed downstairs. She packed her extra things up, and I slipped all of my newly acquired accessories into my bedside drawer and we went downstairs. I lead the way, as Grace was exceptionally nervous about seeing Remus.

As soon as I got to the bottom of the stairs, my eyes met Sirius, but before I could say or do anything, a little pair of arms was around my legs. "Ehwwie, Ehwwie, we eat now?"

I picked Harry up and kissed his cheek, "Yes we will, my little man; but I want you to meet someone first. This is my friend Grace, can you say hello?"

"Hello Gwace, I Harry."

"You certainly are. I haven't seen you since you were a little baby. I used to room with your Mummy and Aunt Ellie at school."

"Mummy in hweawen with Daddy and angels," Harry told her and Grace nodded.

"I know sweetheart, now, how about if you show me where that dessert is?" Grace held her hand out to the toddler, and I set Harry back down on the floor. He immediately too her hand and then walked her over toward Sirius and Remus.

"This is Mus and Doggy, they wib here too." Grace ignored Sirius, as her eyes were locked on Remus'.

"Hello, Remus. I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?"

"I've um, I've been fine. Busy. Living with these three is," he paused and the air was getting thicker by the minute. "Busy."

"I can see how it would be." They both just stood there, staring at each other. I swear that I could feel the electricity prickling between them and I smiled and looked at Sirius, biting my lip. I wasn't sure how we should proceed here, but I really didn't want to distract them. Thankfully, Harry chose that moment to interrupt the silent conversation that was going on between them.

"Mus, you promise me tea. I want tea," the toddler pleaded, and it was enough to break Remus' gaze.

"Right, um, tea, sure Harry. The kitchen is this way," he added with a nod of his head toward the door. Remus grabbed Harry's other hand and the trio headed toward the other room. As they left, Sirius came over and wrapped me up in his arms, kissing my head.

"Well that was very...enlightening. I think that it's safe to say that they both missed the other?" he asked.

"Oh, most definitely, you could have sliced through that tension with a knife. I think that we should just stay out of the way and let things happen all on their own," I suggested.

"Speaking of tension, how were Grace's presents?" he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Oh, well, for that you're going to have to wait until later, Mr. Black," I added with a giggle, completely unsure if I would ever take the purple toy from my nightstand with Sirius around. "Come on, before they eat all of the carrot cake," I added as I pulled him toward the kitchen.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Just a reminder that this story is rated Mature, and does earn it's rating in this chapter. Thanks to everyone who is reading and a special thanks to those of you who have taken time to review. Mutt**

**Chapter 11:**

**Mr. A**

Grace and I were sitting in a little restaurant in Manchester of all places, waiting for Amelia. It was a relatively new Muggle establishment, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out why she'd picked some place so completely out of the way and in a city that I knew she never went to.

"Ellie, if I wouldn't normally come here, do you honestly think that Rosemund would?" Grace asked and I shrugged my shoulders and understood her thinking here. We really wanted this meeting to be private, running into Sirius' wife would not help matters. It was a pleasant late June day, and it was quite enjoyable to hear the city noises through the open windows of the pub. There were times that I missed living in the city. "Well, tell me, how are things at home? Have you been...cuddling?" Grace looked titillated at hearing details.

"Um, well..." I could act coy too here, sweetie. "My favorite aubergine appendage has most definitely been getting a work out," I said with a bite of my lip and then a sip of my drink.

"Aubergine appendage, did you come up with that euphemism all on your own?" she giggled.

"No, I had help, although we call him Mr. A when we're in mixed company. Remus showered us in his morning tea our when he heard us talking about it the first time," I confessed, which made Grace blush. She and Remus had been out for supper together, twice, since she was over for her initial visit, six weeks ago. They also spent long evenings talking through the floo to each other.

"Is Sirius....um...acquainted with Mr. A?"

"Oh, most definitely, and he's quite..." I paused trying to figure out how to phrase this, "adept with his handling of Mr. A."

"Oh my Merlin, Ellie, that's bloody brilliant. I take it that you're happy with such things? Better than running?" I buried my head and blushed furiously. "Clearly, yes, yes. Okay girl, we need to get this mess straightened up and get him really....holy cow. What did he have to say about the size of it?" I didn't want to look at Grace while I told her this. Suddenly the remnants of the small sugar square that was dissolving in the bottom of my tea cup was very interesting.

"We um, compared them, and Mr. A's close, just um...well it's a little short still," I whispered and Grace screamed in such a way that every patron in the restaurant looked at us. I wanted to dive under the table. Before I could be subjected to any more humiliation at the hands of my friend, we saw Amelia come through the door, carrying a rather heavy looking satchel of books.

"Remind me to pick the location for our meeting the next time. Honestly Grace, could we be father out?" Amelia said, sitting down and putting her bag on the bench next to her in our booth. "Where are we again?"

"The food here at Market is excellent, so you'll enjoy that part. I like Manchester, it's really...there's just something about being here. The North Quarter is turning into quite an artists area, and it's always alive and somethings going on here. I find it exhilarating, and I knew that we wanted somewhere away from the Wizarding World, so that we couldn't be over heard," she explained and Amelia and I nodded.

"Well, now that we're all here, and this place seems pretty empty and out of the way, I think that we should get down to business. Who wants to go first?" Amelia said, clearly taking control of our little meeting.

"I will," I said. "There is no potion that can make you pregnant. Potions to make you more fertile, to strengthen a pregnancy that's already occurred, ways to help the baby grow faster or to spur on delivery, but you can't make yourself pregnant. In fact, while I was doing my research I found out something very interesting. Did you know that it is impossible to forcibly take...from a Wizard? There are protections on their bodies to keep it from being taken against their will. It's something that happens when they're born. Best that anyone can figure is that it was created as a heredity charm, so that some pureblood families couldn't have heirs running around that were unwillingly made. However, since the bloodlines are so intermingled, all males have it," I explained and Amelia nodded.

"You wouldn't want someone stealing your little swimmers if you were loaded, huh?" Grace added in her own Gracie way. It made us all chuckle. "Unwanted heirs prancing amok and all."

"Well, it goes further than that. If you in any way Charm, Potion or Curse a Wizard to give you his..." Amelia stopped and raised her eyebrows, "it's a crime punishable by a stint in Azkaban. Can't even imagine how that would be written up?" We all got the giggles again.

"Well, I think that Sirius will be willingly giving it to me, so at least I don't have to worry about that," I sighed, happy that we were having fun while working on a such a serious subject.

"There aren't any Charms to make you pregnant either, but there are quite a few that will enhance the chances that you will get pregnant if his little swimmers get in there at the right time," Grace added. "Oh, and while I was in France, I learned a whole lot about charms to shield a pregnancy and protect it; which considering your job, might be a good thing, Ellie."

I nodded, and then the waiter came, and we all ordered our lunches. We watched the very cute young man walk away, and Grace and I both raised our eyebrows at Amelia. "Honey, you should hang back and see when he gets off tonight," she said to Amelia who simply looked confused.

"What? Who?"

"The waiter, he was totally checking you out, might be good for a quick roll in the hay," Grace suggested and Amelia immediately went from horrified to shaking her head.

"Duty tonight, sorry, no hay rolling for me. Now, back to the topic at hand. My friend who's a healer said that there wasn't anything that she knew about to get the...stuff into a woman other than...the guy putting it there. Just like you can't magically take a Wizards "little swimmers" as you so eloquently put it, you can't make a Witch carry a pregnancy if she doesn't want to. Her body has a ward put on it to prevent someone from magically inserting such things. Unfortunately, I think that's why the Death Eaters resorted to rape so much of the time," she said sadly. I reached across the table and held her hand. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do her job, dealing with those things day in and day out. It would break my heart too often.

"Sorry about that," Amelia said. I tried not to show my disappointment, I was fairly certain that this was what we were going to discover, but for a few weeks now, we'd really believed that there was some way around this.

Sirius had been so happy and excited. He'd gone so far as to buy a little black dog stuffed animal and put it in the empty room, for when the baby was sleeping there, in what would be the nursery. He'd come home with it the day he got his first pay scroll from his new job. I wanted to be excited about it, but I just couldn't. Even then, I knew that it was a pipe dream, and one of us needed to be realistic. Sirius had been through so much, I figured that I'd give him this happiness, if he wanted it that badly. Traitorous tears feel down my face at my frustration of believing that I was going to take him away this horror. Instead, the only thing that I was taking away was his elation. Again my thoughts fell back to the first time that we'd made love to each other. It was the night before we were to leave Hogwarts. Everyone else in our year was out on the lawn, celebrating. Sirius and I had taken to the Astronomy tower.

"_There's Hercules, he's the one that's holding up the sky -- at least that's my grandfather used to tell me. Jupiter lifted him on a cloud and let him live in the stars when his heart was broken. Over there, that's Scorpius, the scorpion, he's rather revered in my family, for obvious reasons. Oh, but over there, that's Lyra. I always like the idea there was a constellation that would make sweet music from the heavens," Sirius told me as we laid on the blanket, far away from the parties and the crowds. I took his hands in mine and pulled him to me._

"_Your father isn't going to listen to reason, is he?" _

"_Lolly, I still have faith that your Dad will pull this out. My father loves money more than anything, and your Dad has been willing to part with a rather large chunk of the family fortune to make you happy. When faced with gold, my father will follow. I'm sure of it," he promised me as he rolled himself over on top of me._

"_Sirius, I don't care what we promised my Daddy, and I don't think that he does either, anymore. He asked us to wait when I was fifteen, I'm nearly eighteen now. Sirius, make love to me, here, tonight. Make love to me under a blanket of stars, their names are the names of the family members you loathe so. Show them that you've got something much more special than any of them. No arrangements, no business deals, but true passion. Please, be my lover?"_

_We were slow and languid about passion that first time, neither of us really knowing what to do, but somehow fumbling our way through it. I was nervous as Sirius positioned himself before me, and then I remembered my contraception charm. I'd never seen a reason to go onto the potion, we weren't having sex; but there was no way that I wanted to tell my Daddy I was pregnant, not after everything that he was doing for me._

"_What's that for?" Sirius asked as I lifted my wand, and we noticed both of us glow slightly._

"_Double contraception charm."_

"_Good plan. You ready?" I nodded at him and while it hurt a little, it was also the most amazing thing. I swear that as he filled me, I saw the starts twinkle in time with the rhythm his body was pulsing out. It was like the universe wanted us to be one. We laid there all night, he shared with me the knowledge he had of the stars._

"_Why didn't you take your NEWT in Astronomy? You clearly know everything," I asked._

"_Naw, I had to learn this stuff as a kid, like any respectable Black. I don't want to reap any benefits from being one of them," he said quietly. "Well, except for the stuff that my Uncle Alphard taught me, he was really cool. He taught me how to track by following the stars, it's helpful on the Marauder's moonlit adventures."_

"_I see. He's the one that left you the money?"_

"_Uh-huh, tomorrow we'll go home to our flat, and we can spend every night like this."_

"_It sounds perfect." His hands caressed my naked body, and slowly one came to rest on my belly, tracing lazy patterns across it._

"_Lol, I know that you did the charm tonight, but you do want to have children, with me, someday, don't you?" I reached down and wove my fingers through his._

"_Someday, Sirius, someday; but I want to finish my training in France, and then do some traveling. You still want to come with me, right?"_

"_Anywhere, Lolly, anywhere at all, as long as I can hold you tight, just like this."_

'Ellie, Ellie Potter, are you awake in there?" Grace was waving her hand in front of me, and Amelia had reached over and grabbed my left one, which was closest to hers.

"Hey, are you okay?" Amelia asked. I snapped out of the memory and looked at my friends.

"Yeah, I just...I was thinking about how I was going to tell Sirius that this isn't going to work, how we're not going to be able to..." I stopped trying to get hold of myself. He was going to be heartbroken, again. "You know, the first night that we were together, I stopped us so that we could do the contraception charm. I was worried what would happen if I got pregnant." I covered my head and shook it violently. How could I have ever thought that the Universe was trying to get us together, clearly it was conspiring to keep us apart?

"Ellie, you didn't hear the second part. The Healers didn't have any magical solutions, but there are Muggle ones, and as far as I can tell, the magical barriers shouldn't interfere, because they are entirely mechanical in nature," Amelia said, and my head popped up and I felt a little nauseous.

"They use a machine to get you pregnant?"

"Well, no, not exactly. There are several methods, but from what I've read, one of the easiest will work for you and Sirius. Um, not to be indelicate here, but he can, um..." she suddenly blushed a violent shade of red and looked at the table. "He can produce his..."

"Oh," Grace figured out what I couldn't. "Ellie, Sirius...spurts, right?" I dropped my gaze as well and let my head lazily nod. Honestly, there was nothing worse than sitting here discussing Sirius parts with my friends. I just wanted to die.

"Okay, let's get through the description quick here," Amelia said, and I decided to look at her since at least she was as embarrassed as I was. "From what my research has yielded, it appears that he will provide them with a...sample...which is then going to be put into a long tube and put up into your womb. They'll do it when your fertile. It's not painful and it replicates how babies are naturally made. From there, it's a waiting game like everyone else."

I thought about what she was saying, and it didn't sound too bad. I mean, there would be doctors looking at my...lady parts, but if it meant that Sirius and I could be together, then it was worth it. "That sounds doable, and you're sure that it will work?"

"The safeguards only kick in when magic is involved. There's no magic here, just Muggle medicine," Amelia announced. "Also, I took the legal documents to France, and had another set of eyes look at the Betrothal and Fidelity Contracts for me. Turns out their highest Legal Advisor is a great Aunt or something and there are several pureblood families that have a deep hatred of the Black family over there, and would love to see them cut down, in any way possible. Three of their top solicitors have sworn their secrecy, reviewed the documents, and agreed that should you and he produce a child, it would be the rightful heir to the Black family line and fortune. Coupled with the fact that the child would also be the heir to the Potter and Hightower family name and fortune, I was told in no uncertain terms that you would have all the legal support that you needed to break these documents," Amelia concluded, holding the scrolls in her hand. I looked at her surprised. "Ellie, the Potter and Hightower names carry a fair amount of weight and respect, and your father was beloved on the continent. You've got help and support should we need to get you out of Great Britain."

"You mean, it can be this easy?" I stammered out.

"It can be. Before we see the Muggle doctor, we need to come up with a plausible story why you need to use...oh what's the term?" she asked herself as she rifled through her papers. Finding what she needed, she looked back up at us, "Artificial insemination. We can research the reasons that Muggles do it at their Library, and then create a story and any supporting documents that we might need," Amelia explained, but that wasn't a problem. Between Remus, Amelia and I, research would be a breeze.

"I hate to be the damp doxy today," Grace chirped up, "but what happens when Rosemund and Walburga find out what you're up to? They're not going to sit by and let you be pregnant, they're going to figure out why and have their solicitors look for a reason for it. Ellie, this is Walburga we're talking about. She's already cursed you, and well...Sirius didn't have a happy home life as a child," Grace said quietly. I knew that Remus had explained things to her when they were dating, especially after the last visit to his home, when he ended up in St. Mungo's with curse burns.

"I know Grace, but I am willing to risk my life if it gets Sirius out of his sham of a marriage and gives us some hope of being happy. Both he and Remus are really qualified duelers, and we live under the Fidelius Charm. We'll figure something out. But you're right, we definitely need to keep this under wraps, don't we?" I said gravely, this was dangerous territory here, but it was worth it, if it could make Sirius happy. Our lunches came, and we settled down to eating, and our time was filled with Grace's stories from France. Part of me envied her free spirit, and part of me was little embarrassed by it. I just hoped that maybe she and Remus would find their way back to each other. They were opposites, but they worked.

A few weeks later, Amelia was at our house, and we were having our final planning session. "You're certain, they're not going to want to do some sort of test to make sure that I really have this medical condition?" I asked Amelia. She and Remus had been scouring Muggle medical books, and they'd come up with quite a plausible reason for us to need to use Artificial Insemination. Something called a tipped uterus, where basically it was too far for his "little swimmers" to make it on their own. Three weeks of research, and this is what it yielded? It still seemed too easy to me. Sirius was stroking along my back, his fingers tracing lazy circles there, and it was making it hard to concentrate. I leaned forward to try to stop the contact and clear my mind.

"Positive, we've forged and charmed all the documents that you're going to need to get through the initial interview, along with ultrasound pictures and oh what are those other, funny see through ones called?" Amelia asked Remus, who started flipping through the file.

"X-ray's" he replied. "From what I can tell, they are shooting Muggles full of radiation, and then taking a picture. However, I've also read that the radiation can make them sick, so I don't understand what the benefit is." I shook my head at it, Muggles could be quite silly.

"So, we're going to this appointment tomorrow, and we're going to tell them that we've been trying to have a baby, but we haven't been able to get pregnant?" I said and Amelia nodded.

"Then, they'll review everything, probably do an exam on you to prove that you are indeed healthy and ask you some questions about when your last cycle was and how long it lasted," Amelia explained and it was obvious that she had really studied her stuff. "After that, they should accept you as a candidate for the procedure. If their baulking at it, you could always give them a little of the Confundus, but I think that the documents should suffice. They'll figure out when you should be ovulating..."

"What's that?" Sirius asked and the rest of us just looked at him.

"Didn't you pay attention in that class fifth year, Sirius?" Remus asked him, and Sirius shook his head. "It's when her body is ready and lets the egg go."

"Ellie's got eggs in her? Like chicken eggs?" Remus reached across the table and swatted him in the head.

"Sirius, do us all a favor tomorrow, and don't say anything, please." Remus begged him. "Clearly, your complete lack of knowledge about how reproduction occurs is astounding. I suppose that since you were married to Rosemund though, we should be thankful for that. I'll give you my "Wizards Guide to Sex" book from fifth year to review."

"All I know is that she told me we had to do things the day before she was starting to bleed, which was..." Sirius looked green. "She couldn't always count that well."

"No wonder she didn't pregnant," I said. "She was doing it at the wrong time, what a dunce. She didn't pay attention in her fifth year class either." I giggled at the idea.

"Okay, anyway, um, they'll probably give you a chart or something to fill out," Amelia explained, "but we'll ignore it and do the charms instead. Your belly will glow on the blue the morning before, green the day of and purple the day after, but we know that you can get pregnant any of those days, so as long as we get you to the doctor once you start glowing, it should work. We'll put a glamour on the glowing while you're in London. Then, when you're home, we'll do the strengthening potions and charms on you."

"Got it, anything else that we should read up on tonight?" I asked. I wanted to be as ready for this as possible.

"Just go over all of this again, and Ellie, make sure Sirius keeps his mouth shut, please. He could blow it all," Remus said and I laughed.

"He can be the adoring husband who is bewitched by his wife," I smiled up at him and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the crown of my head while the rest of us giggled at my choice of words.

"If only it were true," he sighed.

"Soon, dear, very soon," I promised and he kissed the end of my nose.

"Oh, one last thing, Sirius," Amelia said, and then looked at me and looked exasperated. I remembered what we'd talked about earlier, before the guys got here and I knew how uncomfortable it was making her to have to tell him.

"I'll tell him tonight. It won't be a problem." I assured her and we bid her goodnight. Remus reorganized the files on the table, and got them ready for us to take the next day. We all sat down in the sitting room to talk about our other upcoming project.

"We've got five weeks until Harry's second birthday. Other than Ron and Ginny, he really doesn't have any friends, so I was thinking, what if we took the three of them on a fun adventure to celebrate," Remus suggested and I looked at Sirius and nodded. It didn't matter to me that legally Remus wasn't his guardian, Harry had three parents living in this house.

"I think that it's great. What should we do?" I piped up.

"Quidditch Match?" Sirius suggested and I shook my head.

"I'm not ready to take him out in public in the Wizarding World. We live outside of Ottery St. Catchpole for a reason, there aren't many Wizarding families here. He's safer. What about something in the Muggle world?"

"I never did much as a child, it just wasn't safe," Remus remarked, and it broke my heart. I couldn't imagine not having playmates and adventures as a child, that's what childhood is for.

"Ellie, how about this? Harry's been pestering us to take him out the summer house, what if we went for a long weekend? His birthday should fall about the time that the Muggle summer festival, the one with all the rides and games. You remember, we went every year?"

"I do, it was so much fun. You used to get me those huge lollipops, even when I was like eight years old," I sighed, remembering our trips to the fair as a child. "But I don't think that we should stay in my family house there, it would be obvious who was there. How about if we try to find a Muggle house that we can rent? If we take Grace along, we'd look like an extended family on holiday, and no one would think it odd for us to be there with children."

I looked at Remus and he didn't outright object to the idea of Grace going, which made me happy. I think that our effervescent friend might be chipping away at his fortress.

We talked for a while longer, and decided that it was a plan, and we divided up the tasks so that we could make it happen, and then headed upstairs for bed. I knew that I was going to have to tell Sirius something that wasn't going to make him happy, but we were all making sacrifices for our eventual happiness. This was going to be his. I thought about Harry's birthday gift, and remembered going to the fair as a child.

"_Ellie, what ya looking at?" I heard Sirius behind me. I continued to pet the face of the beautiful mare in front of me. _

"_The horses, aren't they beautiful. Jamie thinks it's silly that I want to ride on them, rather than those fast, spinny rides over there," I explained. Jamie had called me a silly, fradey cat girl and then stormed off when I told him that I wanted to use my tickets to ride the horse. I didn't mean that he had to ride with me, I just meant that I wanted to. My feelings were hurt and I couldn't figure out why Sirius was here with me. He was Jamie's friend, he'd side with him. Right?_

"_I'm sorry that he hurt your feelings. If you want to ride them, I'll wait for you," Sirius said quietly._

"_But then Jamie's wandering around on his own, and we're supposed to stick together." My Daddy had few rules, but the three of us sticking together was one of them._

"_Well, it seems to me that James is the one who wandered off, so, he'll have to deal with the punishment. Go on, ride your horse, I'll be waiting here and watching for you," SIrius promised, and I turned and saw his great big lopsided, two tooth missing smile._

"_Thanks, Sirius," I gushed as I went to get in line to ride the horse. I lost sight of him for a minute while I was up riding, but it was so freeing and relaxing that I convinced myself I had probably just mistaken where I'd left him. When my turn was done, I went back to the corner of the pen that kept the horses, and there stood Sirius, with the biggest pink, blue and yellow lollipop that I had ever seen. It was the size of his face._

"_Did you have fun?"_

"_I did, it was...it's almost better than flying. Is that for me?" I asked and Sirius handed it to me_

"_Yup, you looked like you needed to be cheered up. Come on, I see your Mum over there," he said as he pointed at Mummy. "Oh, and Ellie, nothing is better than flying."_

"Love, Ellie, honey, you with me?" It was Sirius again. He'd changed his clothes and was standing in front of me, ready for bed. "Amelia said that there was something that you needed to tell me." My mind made it's way back to the present day and I nodded.

"Yeah, um," I did not want to talk about this. "Tomorrow, they're going to want..." I stopped, trying to figure out how to say this.

"Want what?" he asked, sitting down next to me, and rubbing my back.

"They're going to want some samples. Blood and ... Sirius they're going to need a man sample from you, and it has to be fresh, so you're going to have to do it at the office," I spit out without taking a breath.

"Man sample, is that what we're calling it now? Fine, I mean, gonna be a little weird doing it with a doctor watching, bloody hell, I hope I can with someone watching..." I started giggling at the image of Sirius, drop trau, with doctors and nurses around, watching him try and wank.

"Not in front of everyone, gosh that would give everyone performance anxiety," I continued to giggle, as my imaginary doctors and nurses were now holding up score cards like at the Muggle Olympics games. "They've got a special room with some um...enticing reading materials in there to help get you in the mood, but you'll be alone while you do it."

"Oh, well, that's not so...yeah, Ellie, it's weird, but for our baby and you, I'm willing to do it." I wasn't sure if he was put out by it, or if it made him excited.

"And, since they need to see just how strong your little swimmers are, you can't do it tonight or tomorrow morning," I eeked out as well. Now I could tell that Sirius was not happy. "Tomorrow night, I promise, love. Tomorrow night. I can go sleep on the couch if it makes it easier?"

"No Lolly, just...no funny business and no bringing out Mr. A over there. Let's just go to sleep," he suggested, and I could tell that he was a little put out. Sirius dimmed the lamp and I curled up against him.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you to, Lolly."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12:**

**Fury**

"How are you holding up?" Amelia asked me. She'd come out from London for the day, and we were relaxing on the large porch of the house in Brighston, on the back of the Isle. I was watching Sirius, Remus and the children playing in the park across the lane.

"I'm holding, just...there are so many variables right now. We don't know what's going to happen, we don't even know if it worked, and then with the whole thing with Rosemund," I eked out before I sniffled the tears back in.

"Hey, she never should have been able to get that close to you. We should have put an Auror on you after the scene in the Atrium. We did after the second threat, and your safety was made a priority. I made them promise me," Amelia said, but I was still rather shell shocked over the whole thing.

It had happened that afternoon of the day that Sirius and I had gone to see the Muggle doctor. I knew that I was ovulating, Sirius had been abstaining for three days so that his swimmers would be as strong as they could, and we were ready. I was afraid that he was going to pass out at the size of the "needle" that they were using to implant them, but I explained that it wouldn't be puncturing my skin, and that helped him feel better. He did however, turn away when he saw them insert it.

Unbeknownst to us, when his little half of our baby project met up my little half, alarms were sounded at Grimmauld Place, an unknown charm on the Fidelity Contract. I'd heard through the grapevine at work, well Grace had, that Rosemund had gone round the twist after Sirius left her in January. She was convinced that her entire worth was tied up in being the one to produce the Black Family Heir, and that wasn't going to happen. I suppose that it didn't help that here we were clearly making a baby, very close to what would have been her fourth wedding Anniversary.

When everything was done, and the doctors had completed the procedure, I laid there for my prescribed time, staring at the ceiling and counting the dots in the tiles that made it up. It made me thankful that the ceilings in St. Mungo's were at least charmed with scenes you could watch, so that you weren't bored. Sirius was pacing back and forth like a caged dog, and I went so far as to suggest that he chase his tail for a while. When I was allowed to get up, he insisted that he help me get dressed, and tie my shoes for me, forgetting that we were both more than capable of using magic to do such things. I kept reminding myself that he was being sweet and attentive because he loved me and the maybe baby that could be inside of me.

We stopped for some lunch, which consisted of vegetable soup and a fruit salad, since I needed to eat healthy, and then we both headed back to work, even though he wanted me to go home and relax.

"_Sirius, we have a nearly two year old at home, I will not relax there. I'll be fine, I'm just making sure that the temperature remains even on my potion this afternoon, and scribing some notes to a colleague. What are your plans this afternoon?"_

_We walked through the visitors entrance and ran our wands through the employee checkpoint -- the un staffed checkpoint, the one where you just put your wand under a light and it's read automatically._

"_I've got a pile of forms that I need to get filled out so that the poor lady whose cat ingested the engorging potion and then ripped up her furniture can get it all back. I felt so bad for the lady, she didn't even know that her husband had been using it for all these years," he explained and I couldn't help but giggle at the case. I put a hand on his arm._

"_We can't all be in Mr. A's class, now can we love? See you at home tonight," I said as he went to climb the stairs to his office, and I went to the lifts to my lab. That's when we heard her from across the atrium._

"_YOU! YOU HORRID, PUTRID, SLAG! HOW DID YOU DO IT? HOW DID YOU GET HIM TO TOUCH YOU WITHOUT THE ALARMS GOING OFF? We both knew the voice without seeing her, and immediately Sirius pushed me behind him and drew his wand. I looked around him at Rosemund, and I felt pity for her. _

_Her dark tresses were all over everywhere and it looked like she hadn't attempted to comb it in weeks. It gave her the appearance of Medusa. He dress was dirty, and it appeared to be the same robes that she had worn to his trial. Her hands looked covered in scars and small cuts and her lips were thin and chapped. Her eyes were wild, and her dark mascara had run so she now resembled a raccoon. It also appeared as if she had been trying to claw her eyes out, as there were vertical scratches, about finger width apart, from her eyebrows to her cheekbones. I swear, she looked liked shed been tormented into insanity._

"_Rosemund, please, calm down," Sirius tried talking with her. I could see over her shoulder that she had garnered the attention of the security guards near the wand check, and that there were members of the Magical Law Enforcement Team as well as Aurors arriving through the floo fireplaces further down. I wrapped my arm around Sirius, holding myself to his back._

"_CALM DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN? YOUR MOTHER AND I AND THAT WELP OF A TOE RAG ELF OF HERS WERE IN THE LIBRARY WHEN WE HEARD IT. FIRST THERE WAS A CLATTERING, AND THEN THERE WAS A PINGING AND FINALLY THERE WAS A SIREN. A PARCHMENT CAME FLYING FROM YOUR FATHER'S OFFICE AND STARTED BEATING YOUR MOTHER OVER THE HEAD!" If I hadn't been so frightened, the image might have been funny, Walburga, getting beaten up by a scroll._

"_What did the parchment say, Rosemund?" Sirius asked her, again trying to remain calm about it, but we really didn't want out secret out, especially if we weren't sure if it had worked or not._

"_I HAVE NO IDEA, SIRIUS. IT WAS THE DUMB CONTRACT THAT YOUR FATHER HAD MINE SIGN. IT DIDN'T TELL US ANYTHING THAT WE DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW, AND IT CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPLAIN WHY IT WAS GOING ALL WONKY THIS MORNING. BUT I KNOW THAT IT HAS TO DO WITH HER, AND HER STEALING YOU FROM ME. HE'S MY HUSBAND, HE'S GOING TO LOVE ME!" She screamed, just before the officers came and overtook her. Sirius nodded at someone he must have known, and pushed me into a waiting lift. _

"_Potions Lab, don't stop anywhere before there," he barked._

"_Sirius, they're going to want to talk with us," I tried to protest._

"_I know they are, but I saw Rich Heatherman up there, he's on MLE, he was a year ahead of us. I let him know that I was bringing you down here and they'll come and speak to us when they can. Meanwhile, you're safe down here, the only people who can get into your lab are the ones that Prentiss lets in, and he won't let Rosemund or Raleigh in," Sirius explained while he wrapped his arms around me. "That was scary. Are you okay? How about our little project there?"_

"_Sirius, even if we've got a little project there, it's about the size of a pea," I reminded him. "Do you think that there was an enchantment on the contract?" I asked him, but Sirius put his finger to his lips, letting me know that he didn't want to talk here. We weren't in my usual lift, I didn't know this operator like I knew Gulliver._

_The lift opened, and Prentiss and Grace were both waiting there for me. _

"_Amelia saw what happened, we were together in the Atrium, and she sent me down here to wait for you," Grace explained. _

"_No one other than Aurors, MLE people and our staff are allowed in, and I need to check their wands as they enter," Prentiss told me. I went to protest, but there was a hiss, a pop and then a cloud of green smoke and a rather horridly sweet smell began to emanate from the labs. _

"_Who in their right minds would want to come down here?" I teased. "We've got the worst smelling offices in the building." I raised my wand and gave myself a bubblehead charm and then did the same for Grace. Sirius had already managed to get his up and Prentiss was checking what happened in the lab._

"_You go and sit down, I'll check the wands," he insisted, and Grace pushed me off toward my little area._

"I know, but, Amelia, when she confronted me the second time, with words from a Seer, do you really think? Do you really think that she knew I was pregnant?" I asked her, forcing myself to be in the here and now, and not worried about the past. I knew that we were safe here on our little holiday. Amelia was staying in the house with us, and there were three MLE officers or Aurors around our little cottage at all times. I had tried to cancel our little holiday, but the guys wouldn't let me. I still worried that we had Harry, Ron and Ginny exposed to such danger here.

"I couldn't read all of the dark spells that were on those contracts, Ellie; but if you are pregnant, and you do indeed have the heir to the Black Family in your womb, it will sure as hell show up somewhere in their family records. Of that, I am sure. However, we should have proof of your baby in the next few days, so how about, if you stop worrying about Rosemund, Raleigh and Walburga and you just put those feet back up and watch your son and his guests play," she said and as she called Harry the "s" word, I gasped. "Oh, Ellie, I didn't mean it, it just sort of slipped out. Please forgive me," she begged.

I stopped and thought about it, I wasn't upset at her, not for calling Harry my son; it was really the truth; its just that I didn't want it to be. If I was his Mummy, and Sirius was his Daddy, that meant that Jamie and Lily were really gone, and I wasn't ready for them to be gone yet. I felt horrible, for a minute I had forgotten them. I had forgotten my big brother and his wife, who was my best friend. I had forgotten all of the pain that they'd lived with and how they had died a horrible death. I forgot that while they were gone, I still got to live and hug and love their little boy. Harry wasn't my son, he couldn't be my son, ever.

I don't know how it happened, but in an instant, Sirius was at my side. "I said something, about Harry being her son, and it just set her off like that," Amelia muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Don't," Sirius started. "It's not your fault. She just misses James sometimes. Can you go and help Remus get the kids? Maybe we can go for some candy or ice cream or something?"

"Sure, we'll be right back," she said, and Sirius came over and knelt in front of me.

"You okay?" he whispered as his hands took mine.

"I forgot them, for a minute I got wrapped up in what was going on with Rosemund and the maybe baby and I forgot Jamie and Lily. I could I do that?"

"Oh, Lolly, it's okay to not be thinking about them all of the time. They're still in your heart, and you never let Harry forget that he was loved by them first. You didn't do anything wrong," he promised me and I nodded as he pulled me to him. I sat there, my head nestled into his shoulder, letting him stroke my back, when I felt it, a warm tingling feeling in my abdomen. My hand went reflexively to my belly, and I pulled away from Sirius.

"Ellie, what is it?" He asked.

"I, I don't know," I muttered.

"Grace, Grace get out here," he yelled in through the open front door, and Grace came out, flour on her face, hair up in a simple ponytail, no makeup on. "Grace, something's wrong with Ellie."

Sirius stood up,and moved aside so that Grace could kneel in front of me. Remus, was back holding Ginny in his arms, Amelia had Harry and Ron by the hands. They were all standing around, looking at me. The warming was getting stronger, and I thought that I could hear the faintest hum.

"Ellie, honey, what is it? What do you feel?" Grace asked carefully.

"Warm."

"Where honey, show me where," she asked and I reached for her hand and placed it next to mine. I looked up at her beautiful eyes and I could see her smiling. "Let me look under your shirt, sweetie." I nodded and I could feel her lifting the bottom of the scoop neck blouse that I was wearing up and holding it away from the waistband of my shorts. "Ellie, Sirius, have a look," she said and I looked down, reaching to hold Sirius hand.

My belly was glowing yellow.

Bright, happy yellow.

Strong sunshine-y yellow.

I was pregnant with Sirius baby.

"This means what I think it means?" Sirius asked.

"Yup, congratulations Papa. You're going to be a Daddy," Grace said as she stood up and hugged Sirius.

"When?"

"Well, I would say, about mid-April, given everything that we know," Grace replied.

"Do you think that I can kiss her?" Sirius asked Amelia, and she looked skeptical.

"I don't know, Sirius. I mean, she's carrying your heir, but the contract might not be broken until the baby is actually born," she told us, and I wanted to cry. I really wanted to kiss Sirius right now. "Tell you what, we'll put you in an isolation bubble, and that way if the Caterwauling Charm goes off, it will only bug the two of you."

"Okay," Sirius said, and he offered me a hand and I stood up and put my arms around his neck.

"We're going to have a baby," I said through my tears. "I'm going to have your baby, my love."

"Yes, yes we are. And then, we're going to be happily married and move somewhere and raise Harry and this little pea in there and everything will be the way it should have been anyway." I looked up into his eyes, hoping he'd see what was there. "I know, they're not here, but we won't ever forget them, I promise, we won't forget. Now, can I please kiss you? It's been four years since I was able to really snog the one I love."

"You may," I whispered, and I could see that Amelia put the charm up, and then my eyes were on Sirius. It had been so long, there was almost as much anticipation as there was that first night, so many years ago, in my childhood treehouse. His dipped his head down, and turned it to the side. His lips and nose were getting closer, and I didn't want to close my eyes, because he was so beautiful and he was here and he was mine again.

The minute his lips caressed mine, my eyelids fluttered closed and it felt as if my body had exploded. My head wasn't attached to my body, and my feet we no longer on the hard planks of the porch. There were butterflies in my stomach and there was some serious tingling going on farther down, and it was amazing. His tongue traced a lazy pattern along the inside of my lips and I knew enough this time to open my mouth and let that wonderful softness explore mine. I would have stayed like that all day, until I really did need to take a breath, or else I would be passed out on the floor.

I pulled away from him, breathing heavily, and realizing that there wasn't any charm going off. The only noise that we could hear were the breathing noises of our family and friends and Ron complaining that he was hungry. Grace started cheering and from the corner of my eye I could see her throw her arms around Remus, nearly knocking little Ginny out of his arms. Amelia was bouncing on the soles of her feet and there was pure joy in the air.

It was broken by the sound of three apparition pops, and a gut wrenching scream piercing the sky. I turned to see a stunning spell coming at me, but before I could do anything, I was falling to the floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13:**

**A Pea in the Pod**

"_Miss Ellie Potter, I welcome you to Grimmauld Place, ancestral home of the Noble House of Black," Sirius said with a flourish as he opened the front door. Daddy had let me floo to the Ministry this morning, and Sirius came to meet me there and walk me over to his house. We were leaving in a few days to go out to the Summer House, Sirius was coming with us and then his family would follow the week after. Sirius bowed to me and let me pass._

"_Why thank you, kind sir, I do hope that I can live up to your regal home," I said in my most proper accent. I knew how to use the formal manners of an aristocratic family, even if my parents didn't make me. I walked past him and into the grand stairwell. Within three steps, I was ready to walk back out. Sirius house was nothing like mine._

_While the Potter's had money, lots of money, my Mum and Daddy never sought to flaunt it. We lived in a fair sized house, but we didn't have any servants or elves. The house was decorated comfortably, and most of the furniture had been hand made by either local craftspeople or by Wizarding ones. My father believed in the quality of things that were made by hand. There were family portraits on the walls, and paintings of important places that the family had been or lived, our house was inviting and comfortable. Sirius house reminded me of a spooky museum. _

_The walls were covered from floor to ceiling in portraits, and many of the people had horrible hooked noses that obscured their top lips. They were all dressed in black and looked like their clothes were too tight for them. Behind the portraits hung atrocious green and silver wallpaper that was blinding to the eye when the light hit it, so all of the lighting was kept dim. Whereas my house was full of natural light, gentle colors and soft fabrics, everything here was dark, dim and dismal. I wanted to leave._

"_Your house is...homier? Come on, let's go tell Mum we're here and then I'll take you to my bedroom and the yard and then we'll leave, okay? I won't make you stay here," Sirius promised, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight to him._

"_It's just, Sirius was it always like this?" I asked him, suddenly feeling very badly for the way that my boyfriend had grown up._

"_Um, well, yeah," he said sadly. "That's why I always like it when I get to come over to your house."_

"_Oh, Sirius," I said as I pulled him closer to me and hugged him. He was making my heart break._

"_Sirius Orion Black, what are you doing in the Hallway," a deep, haughty and none too friendly voice reverberated through the hall entryway. Sirius pulled away from me and turned to the voice, keeping my hand firmly inside of his._

"_Hello, Mother, I brought someone for you to meet. Eleanor Hightower Potter, please meet my mother, Mrs. Walburga Black," he said formally. I knew that this was a woman who would want me to act my part. I curtsied for her, and then dipped my head._

"_Mrs. Black, it is my honor to be presented in your home. I am Eleanor Potter, daughter of Quinlan Potter and Margaret Hightower Potter, and it is my humble pleasure to be within your walls."_

"_Eleanor Potter, little Ellie? Haven't we met before?" she questioned, but I knew not to rise and look at her until she told me to. "Stand up girl, and answer me."_

"_Yes, Ma'am. We own a house on the Isle, and we summer there every year," I explained._

"_No, that's not it. You've been in my house, you were crying here and making quite a fuss," she said, and I took a shuttering breath, remembering the day._

"_Yes, ma'am. I was a little girl then. I'm so very sorry for the disruption that I caused that day." I could hear Sirius going to say something, but his mother silenced her._

"_Child, you were a guest in my home, and you were screaming and howling like a banshee in my house. You embarrassed me," she said. _

"_I am quite sorry, Mrs. Black, it's just, there was, and he was..." I dropped my head down not wanting to look at her. The only person who ever knew what had upset me so that day was my Mum._

"_Those are not adequate answers, Eleanor. You're an embarrassment to the pure blood_

_aristocracy, what with all that screaming and yelling. You should be ashamed of yourself..." _

"_Stop it Mother," Sirius yelled at her, and the woman looked appalled that her son would speak to her that way. "Eleanor is my guest in our home, and you can't speak to her that way."_

"_Really, that is what you think Sirius?" I watched as Mrs. Black drew her wand from within her robes and pointed it at her son. _

_Then she fired a curse at him. I was in shock, my parents had never..._

_Sirius shoved me toward the door and quickly we were back out on the street. He pulled me to the little park in the square and sat me down on a bench. I was crying by them._

"_Ellie, did she hurt you?" he asked all gentle and caring. I shook my head no._

"_Was she always like that?"_

"_Well, um, she didn't usually try to curse people, Ellie. That's only been in recent years. I'm sorry that she was so mean to you. I really did want you to see my room," I nodded, still trying to understand what it must have felt like to have your Mother be that...awful._

"_Come on, do you think that you can make it to the Ministry? We can floo to your house from there," he said while standing and offering me his hand. We walked back the few blocks from his house to the Ministry, he was talking away, about anything except what we'd just seen. I was silent. Sirius produced the note that my father had given us, so that we could pass into the Atrium and use the floo network. There was only one person that I wanted to see right now._

"Mummy," I yelled, sitting up, feeling my heart racing and the sweat pouring down my face. I wasn't sure where I was, but I knew that there was something wrong. Then I turned, and and older Sirius was sitting next to me, his arms around my waist, his hands very protective of my belly.

"Shh, there Lolly, you're okay. I've got you, and we're all safe," he whispered. I tried to look around, but things weren't making sense.

"Where are we?"

"We're at Hogwarts, all of us. Amelia brought us here because she knew that we couldn't be followed. We're up in the Headmaster's quarters, calm down, Lolly. You're okay," he was talking so slowly to me, his thumbs tracing patterns on my belly.

The memories flooded back, screaming, curses, him kissing me, the

"Sirius the baby, is the baby..."

"Our little pea is just fine, look, you're still glowing," he said and he picked up my shirt and showed me the beautiful sunny glow.

"What happened?"

"I'm still trying to put that together," Amelia said. "Professor Dumbledore and I are looking at the contracts right now, but it would seem that the part of the curse involving the Caterwauling charm was broken by that little one there. That's why you were able to kiss. Oh, and as your friend, damn that was one fine kiss."

I bowed my head and blushed, comments like that were even more embarrassing coming from Amelia than they were from Grace. I looked around and didn't see Grace, but I didn't see Remus either, so I figured that they must be together somewhere. I did find all three children playing on the floor with Professors McGonagall and Vector.

"However, the Locator Charm seems to be tied to something else, we have a suspicion what it might be, but I'm not prepared to say for certain. Therefore, we brought you here, where you can't be attacked.," Amelia went on, and I could tell that she was being intentionally vague.

"Why Hogwarts?" I asked, and I watched as Sirius, Amelia and Professor Dumbledore all let something pass between them. "Tell me."

"Ellie, we needed to be somewhere that the wards were strong and...where there was proper medical attention," Sirius said slowly. I looked over and I could see another curse burn healing on the forearm of his left side. I gently touched the wrap that was around it. "Oh, Ellie, not me. This is nothing, I doubt it will scar," he quickly corrected me.

"Who?"

"Grace pushed you down, and then covered you. Rosemund got her back, she's down in the Hospital Wing, letting Madame Pomfrey look at her," he explained and I started crying.

"Oh, Gracie, she...why did she do that?" Sirius wrapped me up in his arms, trying to calm me as I heard Amelia start speaking again.

"We were all taken by surprise. As soon as Walburga, Rosemund and Raleigh apparated in, the Aurors that were protecting you moved in, but your glowing belly was still evident. Sirius had his arm around you, Grace was on the step below you. When Rosemund saw it, she went...Ellie wild is an understatement. She was screaming and well, almost howling and firing curses off left and right."

"One of the Aurors helped me get Remus and the children into the house, and then I gave them a portkey to have them get safely here, but by that time, Rosemund had sent a Cutting Curse right at Grace's back. It was a bad one too, there was blood...we brought her here so that she'd be with the rest of you. Walburga and Rosemund were able to get away, but we caught Raleigh," she concluded.

"Why would they?" I still couldn't wrap my mind around how rotten to the core Sirius family was, even after all of this time. "Can I see Grace?"

"I don't see why not, Miss Potter," Dumbledore responded. "But I think that you should first say hello to your godson. He's been quite worried about you." I nodded.

"Hey, sport, Aunt Ellie's awake. Want to come and see her?" Sirius yelled over to the spot on the floor that the toddlers were playing in and Harry immediately popped up on his cubby little legs and ran over. Ron followed while Professor McGonagall lifted Ginny and carried her over.

"Ehwwie, Ehwwie, you okay?" Harry asked as he scrambled up onto the sofa that I had been laid out on.

"I'm fine sweetheart, I'm sorry that your birthday trip was ruined."

"Naw, me and Ron and Inny having fun here too. Got to see a weanix," he told me and I couldn't quite figure out what a weanix was.

"Phoenix, Ellie. They saw Dumbledore's phoenix," Sirius whispered in my ear and I moved in my head that I got his little interpretation of Harry's language.

"That's good, they're really rare. We're gonna have to take Ron and Ginny home in a little while, their Mummy must be really worried about them," I told Harry, hoping that he'd understand that their fun trip was going to be cut short. It was appear that until we understood what was going on, we were all safer within the strong wards that surrounded our home.

"Mrs. Weawey," his way of saying Weasley, "making us all dinner tonight," Harry told me and I started to shake my head.

"Ellie," Sirius stopped me. "She insisted. Harry's birthday is tomorrow, and she was happy to do it." Amelia leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I had one of the Aurors go back and get all of his presents as well. I know it wasn't the birthday party you were hoping for, but he will be happy with it as well."

"We will keep the children occupied here," Professor McGonagall told me, "so that you can relax, Ellie. That was quite an ordeal you've been through."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

"Ehwwie, your belly, it's...did you eat too many wemmons?" Harry asked me and I looked down and sure enough my shirt was still hiked up and you could see the yellow glow of my skin, right over where the baby was.

"No Harry, I didn't eat too many lemons," I corrected him, unable to suppress the smile that was on my face. I looked at Sirius, we hadn't even discussed how we were going to tell Harry about the baby, but it seemed like now was as good of a time as any. Sirius nodded, and reached over to ruffle his really sloppy hair, and lift his chin.

"Little guy, guess what's in there?" Harry shook his head. "It's a little baby, Ellie and Doggy's baby. That glowing there, that lets all of us know that it's growing okay."

"Is it a boy?" Harry asked and the adults all chuckled.

"We don't know, Harry. We aren't going to know until the baby wants to come out and meet us, when they're ready. Okay? It's a surprise," I explained and he nodded.

"Am I the big brother?" Sirius ruffled his hair again.

"Yes you are sport."

"Yeah! Hear that Won, I'm going to be the big brother. If it's a girl, you can kiss her like I kiss Inny," Harry announced and then reached for Ginny who gave her his hand and she kissed it.

"Yuck!" Ron replied. "I don't want to kiss any girls. I can't figure out why you kiss my sister. None of my brothers want to kiss girls."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Mr. Weasley," Professor McGonagall replied, and by the look on her face, I was certain that she had caught the oldest Weasley boy snogging a girl.

"Come on, children," Professor Vector said, "we have a game of 'Finding the Unicorn' to finish," as she herded the children back to where they were playing.

"I always loved that game when I was little. Learned all of my magical creatures that way," I sighed. My father would play for hours with Jamie and I.

"I'm going to call Poppy up here, just to check you over again, and then would you like to see Grace?" Professor Dumbledore asked and I nodded. I watched as he slipped from his offices and I turned back go Amelia.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Ellie, Rosemund, she was...we've requested that you have full time protection, at least until we can arrest her; but even then, I think that it would be better if..." Amelia paused and started looking at Sirius.

"Someone tell me," I demanded.

"Lolly, until they've got her in custody, they'd like it if you were to stay in the house with Harry," he told me and I started shaking my head.

"No, I just got back to work, and my potion is so close, I know that I have it figured out this time," I tried to plead with them.

"I know that, sweetheart, but..." Sirius tried to calm me down.

"But What!"

"Ellie, Rosemund's father is a Death Eater. He hasn't been imprisoned, but we know that he was one of them. He's like Lucius Malfoy, he keeps slipping through our fingers. We know that Harry is still hunted by them, it wouldn't be so hard to believe that given the circumstances, that she wouldn't go to him. Ellie, our contacts in that world, and others among the practicers of the 'old ways', they'd be none to happy with you or that baby. Please, Ellie, we're fearful of your safety."

I looked between Amelia and then Sirius and then over to little Harry playing on the floor. We'd been able to keep him safe thus far.

"So, we'd be, like continuing to live like we have been. We can stay in the little cottage and just..." I asked.

"I think so, I hope so. There's a lot that we don't understand, but, it will be better if all of you keep a really low profile. The only people who can find you are the ones that Professor Dumbledore told, and that's only about ten of us. It should be okay, we just need to you and that glowy belly of yours safe," Sirius told me and I nodded.

"So much for my potion, huh? Maybe Prentiss can finish the brew that is going now, and then bring me the finish product so that I can see if it worked?" I suggested and Amelia nodded.

"I'll talk with him, but it will be me cleaning out your office and bringing you your things, okay. The more people we tell, the more possible leaks there could be," she explained and I nodded, sadly.

"What about Sirius' new job?"

"His partner, for the time being, is going to be an Auror working undercover. He should be fine. Rosemund wasn't aiming at him, she was after you," Amelia explained.

"Yeah, but good old Mummy," he said rather sarcastically. He never called his Mum anything other than Mother, unless he was being revolted by her. "She went right for the goods didn't she. Love that I was once again cursed by my own Mother." I reached over and touched the bandage on his arm and started crying.

"I'm so sorry," I stammered out. He put his arms around me, and kissed my forehead.

"I know you are, love. I know that you are."

Madame Pomfrey swept into the offices, and knelt down in front of me, pulling her wand out. "Let me have a look at that little one there," she said as she did an intricate pattern above me. "Well, everything looks fine there. Now, I know that you want to see your friend, but dearie, I don't want you passing out again. You've got a nasty bump on your head. Let that young man of yours hold onto you."

"Yes, ma'am," I smiled at the old matron. She really was a little like a medical version of my grandmum Potter.

"Stay for just a few minutes, she's still quite sore. Mr. Lupin knows all about how to apply the salve to her, so he's down there with her," she explained and Sirius slid out from behind me and helped me stand. I was still a little dizzy. We made our way downstairs, and I remembered the last time that I was at the Medical Ward visiting Grace. It wasn't a good visit.

"_I can't believe that she went down there, when she knew what it was that she'd find," Lily remarked._

"_I don't think that she really believed it, Lil. I think that she was hoping the whole thing was a hoax," I responded._

"_He never told her? James had told me, sometime last year."_

"_I know. Sirius and Jamie didn't tell me, I sort of figured it out on my own. I just...I kept trying to get him to tell her himself, but he was so afraid."_

_We walked into the hospital ward, and Grace was sitting on a bed, alone by herself in a corner. Her shoulder was out of her blouse, and we could see where there were three scars healing there. Lily and I walked over and sat on either side of her._

"_How are you feeling?" I asked her and she just looked at me, sadly._

"_I can't believe he didn't trust me enough to tell me himself. I had to find out from Snape that my boyfriend is a..." she started crying again. She didn't say anything else for the rest of the afternoon. Lily and I climbed up on the bed and held her, careful of her shoulder. I found out later from Jamie that she'd gone searching for them in the woods last night, a full moon; hoping that the gossip that she'd heard was wrong. Remus had gotten close to her, close enough that he could swipe at her. Sirius had knocked him away before he could do any more damage and chased him deep into the woods. Jamie had brought her back up here for treatment._

_Lily and I looked at each other over Grace's head. We knew that they weren't ever going to be a couple after this. _

I wasn't at all surprised by what I saw before me, in fact it made me so very happy. Grace was lying on a bed, on her stomach, with her back bare and just the fine linens of a Murtlap wrap over the angry red wounds underneath them. Remus was sitting in a chair, up near Grace's head, talking with her, and stoking her cheek. He was smiling down at her in such a beautiful way.

"I think that some old wounds might have been forgiven," I suggested to Sirius in a soft tone.

"I think that they both realized that they'd been better with each other, than they ever were apart," Sirius went on to add, and I looked up at him.

"Since when have you been such a romantic fool?"

"Since I got back my best girl, and the little pea that's going to make us a family." Remus caught sight of us and smiled, and then leaned down to whisper something to Grace. She turned her head and looked at us and gave me a warm smile.

"Well, will you look who finally decided to wake up from her afternoon nap? Guess that it must be nice to be able to sleep the afternoon away, huh Remus? Perhaps Mr. A wore her out, or was that you Sirius?" Grace questioned and I squeaked at her insinuation.

"Grace, so glad to see that you're quite fine there," Sirius mused and we walked over. Sirius summoned a chair for the other side of the bed, and practically pushed me down into it.

"Thank you," I told her, brushing the hair away from her eyes. "You didn't have to push me away."

"Yeah, I did, old psycho Rosebud and Mama dearest were freaking out when they saw that you were glowing from the pregnancy. My godesses, you'd think that they'd never seen a detection spell before. You sure do know how to pick 'em there Sirius. Is Ellie the only sane woman in your life?"

"I guess so, 'cause you're still floating around," he teased her, and I swatted his leg as he sat on the bed behind me.

"Really, Gracie, thank you. You saved the pea here," I told her, with my hand on my belly.

"You'd just better let me do her hair and teach her how to pick up boys, because if I leave all that to her, let's just say...well one of you that plain is enough in the world," she teased and I dropped my head and blushed.

We talked for a little while and it was fun and comfortable, and I liked that Grace would reach out and hold Remus hand every once in a while. He was sweet and attentive to her, and every now and then I would catch him looking at her like she wasn't real. It was quite endearing.

It was decided that she needed to stay overnight tonight, but then she would be coming to our house to finish convalescing, since there would be someone around to put the salve on her back to heal her curse burns. Remus seemed overjoyed that she was going to be in the house, and so was I.

Just before dinner, we flooed over to the Weasley's house and I couldn't believe the spread that she had prepared for Harry's birthday, but best of all, in the middle of the table was a great birthday cake, all done in greens with a little dragon made of sugar on the top. His two year old eyes nearly bugged out of his head at it.

"Molly, how did you do all this, in just a few hours," I asked, simply amazed.

"After six boys, it's quite easy to throw together a birthday cake for one. Don't tell Charlie, but that's the same sugar dragon that I made for his sixth birthday. I was so proud of it, I saved it and kept it in a canister on the top shelf of the pantry, behind the toads feet," she explained. I guess if I were going to keep something I didn't want my kids eating, I'd put it behind the toads feet too.

We sat out in the garden, on furniture that was mismatched and pulled from all over the house, but I thought that I had never seen a more lovely place. Arthur had gone and gotten a squishy loveseat for me to sit on, saying that I needed to be pampered to day.

"How did you know?" I asked him.

"I'm married to a woman who was pregnant six times, after the first few, you get to know the glow. Congratulations you two, or at least, I assume that it's his?" he said with a glint in his eye. I wasn't sure how much Arthur knew about the contracts or the curses placed upon them, but I suspect a fair amount.

"It is, oh, and you'll be happy to know this, it was the Muggles who helped us get pregnant," I told him, knowing of his love of all things Muggle.

"Really, how?" he asked excitedly.

"Never mind Arthur," Molly called, "I suspect that it would make your ears turn red." I giggled at the relationship between the two of them, and hoped that Sirius and I were like them one day.

We opened Harry's presents, and he was very excited. I had gotten him a pair of very small gloves to wear when he was flying on his broom, and Sirius had somehow found a tiny, tiny leather jacket. He explained that it was for when he took Harry out to ride with him on his enchanted motorbike.

"You are out of your bleeding mind if you think that I am going to let you take a two year old out on that damned thing," I said in terse, clipped words through my teeth.

"Ellie, I already do," he smirked and I was so angry at him. I didn't care if we'd figured out that we could kiss again today, I had no intention of letting his lips anywhere near me.

Molly had made Harry a sweet little jumper with a golden snitch on it, and had gotten him some new swim trunks, so that he could go into the pond behind the Burrow with the children when he came to visit, and not have to wear Ron's castoffs. Bill had even promised to teach Harry to swim this summer.

Remus wasn't there, but he'd gotten Harry a little apron and his own pots and pans. I knew that Harry liked to "cook" in the kitchen with Remus while I was away at work. I guess I would be home to cook with them now, too. Grace and Amelia had gone in together, and bought a play area for our backyard, one that once you took it out of the box, it would expand and anchor itself to the ground. It had swings and a slide and a club house with a look out telescope. I could see Sirius spying it, and I knew what he was thinking.

"You can teach him about the stars, just like your Uncle Alaphard did. How Hercules holds up the sky and Lyra brings you heavenly music," I whispered.

I handed Harry the last package, I knew that it was going to make me cry to watch him open it, but it was something that I had found when I was going through the Potter House, and given where it was hidden, Lily had gotten it for him; most likely as a Christmas gift last year. I wanted him to have it now. Harry carefully unwrapped the package, and took out the old tattered book, and I started crying. Sirius recognized it too.

"Ellie, Doggy, it's an old book?"

"That's not just any book, sport. That is the official record book of the "We Can Do Anything Club". Your Daddy, Ellie and I were the members when we were little, and we wrote down all of our adventures in here. See, it's a story book of Jamie Stories, just like Ellie tells you every night," Sirius explained, having trouble with his emotions as well.

"Really?" the toddler said, his eyes wide.

"Really, bring it here, and I'll show you," I called to him, and he climbed up in my lap and I opened the book gingerly, and I saw Jamie's messy chicken scratch, Sirius somewhat neat handwriting, and my flowery script on the pages. We'd often each tell our part of the adventure on the same page. "See, here's the one from the day that we first made our club. We were eight..."

"You were seven," Sirius corrected me.

"I was almost eight, and we'd gone looking for a wood to build our club house. I was truly a wordsmith then, listen to what I wrote. Went looking for sticks. It was hard. They're heavy. Jamie got stung by a bee, but I told him not to pick at it," I finished the entry and looked at Harry. "Not much of a story, huh?"

Little Harry was looking at the book, and I could tell that he was excited by it. "It was great," he sighed and then yawned.

"You look like you're getting tired there, sport. Five more minutes, and then we'll head home and get ready for bed," Sirius said and Harry nodded his head and scooted off the seat to go and play with his friends. I watched Harry toddle off, and my heart was again filled with guilt, that I was here with him, and my brother wasn't. "Lolly, my lovely Lolly, you made sure that they were here with him today, just like you do everyday. He won't forget them, and neither will our pea."

"Oh, Arthur look, it's her first steps," I heard Molly call and sure enough, a few feet away on the lawn, Ginny was walking by herself; and it wasn't a surprise to anyone, that she was walking into the open arms of Harry who was waiting for her. He hugged her tightly when she got to him, and then lifted his hand and kissed the palm. When he was done, Ginny leaned over and kissed him, right on the mouth. Harry smiled brightly at her.

"I think that might have been his best birthday gift," I sighed and Sirius nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Just a reminder, this story carries an M rating. Thanks so much to everyone who is reading, please take a moment and review and tell me what you think. Mutt**

**Chapter 14:**

**The Parenting Part**

"Um, you do know, that at some point, you are going to have to take your hand off my belly," I teased Sirius when we got home that night. He had, quite literally, been touching my abdomen at any chance he got. It was beginning to grate on my nerves.

"No, I like this," he pouted. "It's like I get to hold our baby already." I shook my head at him.

"You're going to have to let go sometime. You've got to be able to eat, and use the loo," I teased.

"Well, you can feed me," he suggested and I looked at him liked he'd lost his marbles, "and I've got my other hand there for the loo part."

"Eewwee, Sirius, honestly, the baby is not going anywhere for eight months, but in that time, you cannot keep a hand on my belly. You'll drive me bonkers," I complained and I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I felt the need for a cup of mint tea before bed, it had been quite a day.

Arthur and the oldest Weasley boy, Bill, had helped us bring our things over after Harry's birthday party, including half a cake, which Molly insisted he be allowed to partake in tomorrow, on his actual birthday. Harry had fallen asleep on Sirius shoulder and he carried him up and quickly changed him into his pajamas and got him down for the night. Remus was spending the night at Hogwarts to take care of Grace, so we were alone in the house, so to speak.

Sirius followed me into the kitchen and stood behind me, brushing my hair off to one side and letting his fingers trace down my neck. I nearly dropped the kettle full of boiling water on the floor at the sensation of it. I had the presence of mind to set it down on a cool burner on the stove. I moaned at the way his touch was sending shock waves down my body and it was hard to breathe.

"Lolly, before we were so rudely interrupted earlier, I believe that you and I were finding out," Sirius whispered in my ear, his lips flicking along the side of my face as he spoke, his hand still caressing along my neck and slipping into the collar of my blouse to touch my back, "if the curse is broken."

"Uh, huh," was all I could reply.

"I'd like to work on that some more," he suggested and I couldn't make a single audible sound come out, so I just nodded. He turned me around so that I was facing him, his chest pushed tight against mine. One arm snaked around my waist, and I could feel how turned on he was, as it was pressing into my stomach. His other hand cradled the back of my head, and was angling it toward him. One of my arms wrapped around him, my hand on his back, pushing him toward me, the other one on his chest, and I could feel his heart racing beneath his skin.

We were drawn together, like a moth to a flame, we needed to be connected, needed to have the other one. Our lips touched and it wasn't tentative, like this afternoon, the moment there was contact, there was an explosion between us. We were hungry for each other, like a man desperate for a drink after wandering the desert, we sought out the other, biting, sucking and licking. Our lips moved together perfectly, like they remembered the dance of their youth without so much as a stumble. I remembered the way that he would groan when I would run my tongue along the roof of his mouth, and was thrilled that it elicited the same response.

Our mouths broke apart, both of us gasping for breath, but unable to break contact. The height difference must have been driving Sirius wild, because he picked me up, and sat me down on the empty kitchen counter, nestling himself between my legs. It changed the contact between us, centering him just perfectly for me, and I felt dizzy from the pressure that was there. He kissed across my chin and down my neck, his tongue dancing it's way across my flesh.

My lips were on his neck, and I moved up, flicking and nipping at his earlobe, he growled his pleasure at what I was doing. I captured his mouth again with my own, and relished the taste of his tongue. He was sweet, remnants of the frosting from Harry's cake were still lingering in his mouth, adding to the intoxicating flavors of cardamom and salt that were always Sirius. Again, he moved his mouth away from me, kissing and licking his way down my neck. I wrapped my legs around him, anchoring him to me.

I felt his hand slide the scoop of my blouse aside, and watched with a smile as he stared at the mark between my breasts, his mark, the sign that I would always belong to him and only him. Our eyes locked for a moment, his passion was replaced by devotion as he slipped his hand into the bottom of my blouse, his fingers splaying themselves over my belly, the place where the baby, OUR baby was growing. He blinked and the devotion was gone, and once again there was a hungry passion in his eyes, and his lips were again blazing their trail down to my mark.

I threw my head back in ecstasy when he kissed and licked the intertwined three-corner knots that were forever on my skin, and it felt as though my entire body was on fire and I would explode at any moment. I was quite certain that I wasn't going to need my Aubergine friend tonight, for my lover's lips were doing a fine enough job bringing me to the brink.

Sirius began to push aside the lavender lace bra that I was wearing, his lips languidly lapping up the salts of my flesh, when the damned Caterwauling Charm went off. We were both shocked by it, Sirius letting a string of curse words leave his mouth while he reached around and took his wand from his back pocket, trying to get a Silencing Charm up before we awoke Harry.

He got things quieted down, but we were both shaking from our interrupted passion and from the surprise of the charm going off.

"That sucked," he muttered before we heard little footsteps on the stairs, and our frightened godson crying.

"Darn it all," I said as I hopped down from the counter and walked back into the Sitting Room, going to the end of the staircase to meet little Harry. He was still bleary eyed from his being awoke, and shaken up by the noise.

"Ewwhie, dere was big noiwse," he said half asleep, and through his tears.

"I know honey," I replied as I picked him up, "but it's all gone now, I promise."

"I scahwed me."

"It scared Ellie and I too, sport," Sirius told him with a gentle stroking on his back. Harry laid his little head down on my shoulder.

"How about if you come and lay down in Doggie and Ellie's bed, and then when you're back asleep, Doggie can put you in yours?" I asked him.

"It's not dunder and whighning tonight?"

"No, but the big noise was like the thunder," Sirius explained. "So you can come and lie down with us, okay?"

"Uh-huh," the toddler replied and I started to carry him upstairs.

"I'll close up down here, and be right there," Sirius said as I was climbing to the second floor. I laid Harry down in the middle of our bed, and he tucked his little legs down under the blankets.

"I'm going to get my pajamas on, sweetheart. I'll just be in the loo if you need me," I told Harry, and he nodded as he laid his little head down on the pillows. I quickly pulled off the blouse and shorts that I had been wearing that day, and toed off my sandals and then paused, looking at myself in the mirror. I was still wearing the delicate lavender bra and the lavender and white knickers that went with it, but just above the elastic of the waist, I could see the beautiful lemony glow of where our baby was. I stopped and rubbed the spot gently with my hand, and I could feel a pleasant, tingling, happy feeling emanate from the spot. I knew that it was the baby, however small it was, reacting to me.

"_What do you mean you can feel it? You've only known that you're pregnant for like a month?" I quizzed Lily. This was silliness on her part, babies really weren't babies for months, right now they're a mass of cells stuck to the side of the uterus. I might be a Potions Master, but in the Wizarding world, I was a scientist and I knew about Muggle science as well. This all must be in her head._

"_I'm not joking, Ellie. It's not like a Muggle pregnancy, the Healer was explaining it to me. Wizarding babies have their magic from the very beginning, even before they have anything else. From the moment they're conceived, they can do magic, well, a little anyway. I swear, this baby knows that I'm here and that I love it. The baby is letting me know," Lily told me, adamantly._

"_Lily, that just doesn't make..."_

"_It doesn't have to make sense, Ellie. Not everything can be measured and the results be predicted. This is love, you can't make love in your lab," she told me, and I got angry at her._

"_I know that, Lily. I also know that you can't make love go away in a lab," I snapped back. "Go on, enjoy your warm fuzzies from your baby there. Just another one of those things that I won't be finding out about on my own," I threw the words at her and turned on my heel and went to leave the room. I ran into James near the front door._

"_Ellie, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked, not understanding that I had probably just made his pregnant wife upset in the other room. I didn't want his comfort and I certainly didn't want his pity._

"_Nothing, big brother. Go on, enjoy the warm tingles the baby is giving your wife," I snipped as I walked out the door, slamming it behind me._

I sighed when I thought about how poorly I had treated Lily that day, and again because I wished more than anything that she was here with me, to share in my warm tingles. I slipped the bra off, thankful to be free of the elastic and underwire cage that held my surprisingly tender breasts and slipped the pink nightgown on over my head.

As I walked back into the bedroom, Sirius was sitting on the bed, wearing only the jeans from today. I absolutely loved the sight of Sirius without a shirt, not just for the tattoo over his heart, but for the way that his muscles played under his skin. When I had brought him home from Azkaban, he was rail thin, and his muscles had lost their definition. Six months of home cooking and working around the house had seen to returning his physique to what it was when we were younger. He was leaning over Harry, rubbing his back, and telling him a story, I leaned against the wardrobe, not wanting to disturb them.

"...your grandmummy was so mad at your Dad, but it really was quite funny, there were all of these napkins, flying all over the room, dropping the bits of food and such that were in them onto your grandparents and Ellie. She was not happy at all, because she got a bit of scrambled egg in her eye. I stayed inside and helped your Dad wrangle all of those napkins up, and then we put them in a box and waited for the charm to wear off. Your Dad never did learn not to take your great-grandmummy's wand while she was sleeping," Sirius concluded his Jamie story for the night.

"How old were you?" Harry asked through a yawn, and I could tell that he was getting sleepy again.

"We were, I don't know, ten maybe. It was before we went to Hogwarts," Sirius responded and Harry nodded, very sleepily.

"Okay, you two, that's enough Jamie stories for tonight," I said, pushing myself off the wardrobe to cross the room. "You need to get some sleep, go on and close your eyes, and I'll sing to you for a minute."

Sirius got up off the bed and started to cross to the loo, his hand grazing across my belly as we passed and this time, it made me smile. I climbed into the far side of the bed, my side, and then contemplated that now that I was pregnant, it might make sense for me to be the one closer to the toilet, knowing how often I'd be visiting it for one reason or another over the next months. I snuggled down into the blankets, and Harry turned his face to mine. His eyelids were heavy already, and I stroked his little cheek with my fingers.

"Close your eyes, sweetheart, and I'll sing you a lullaby," I promised.

"Can I say goodnight to the baby first?" he asked and I nodded. I felt his little hand on my tummy. "'nigh, night baby," he muttered, and then pulled his hand away, wrapping both of his up together and then tucking them under his head. I started to sing the lullaby, and by the time I got to the chorus, he was snoring.

Sirius came back from the loo, lifted Harry into his strong arms and cradled him as he carried the sleeping child back to his room. When he returned, he charmed Harry's door so that if he awoke again during the night, we'd be aware, and then my lover and the father of my baby slid into bed with me, extinguished all but one small light, and slid his hand back under my nightgown, easing it up my body so that it was only covering my breasts, then letting his hand rest on the small yellow light that my body radiated. He then leaned over and pressed his lips to the spot, his mustache and whiskers tickling me, but his lips exciting me as well. I could feel the warm tingle of our baby again.

"They know that Daddy is there," I told him, and Sirius turned his head, leaving his cheek on the spot, but looking up at me. His arm snaked around and cradled my hip, his fingers caressing my side and back.

"What?"

"The baby, it can send me a signal, when it knows that I'm happy about them. Our pea is already letting us know that they're there. I don't understand it, so don't ask me to explain, but Lily told me the same thing when she was pregnant with Harry," I told him, feeling the cold mist of melancholy drift over me like the fog rolling in. Feeling it not only for the memory, but from how I wished she was here to share this with me.

"That's...Lolly, this is amazing. How much has changed in a year, in six months," he ruminated, not really talking to me, but instead musing out loud whatever it was that was passing through his head. He then slid up the bed, wrapping his arms around me, and throwing his leg over my body. "And think of how much more will change in the next year. Our baby will be here, and I'll be able to annul my marriage to Rosemund and we'll finally be able to wed," he looked so happy, happier than I had been able to see him in years. He then leaned down and sweetly kissed me, gently, softly, a kiss of love.

The kiss didn't last long, we were both quite aware of what happened the last time we let our passion get the best of us, and I knew that I didn't want to awaken our toddler again. I felt confident that Sirius felt the same way. "So," he said, continuing before I could get out my childhood response, "any ideas on what happened earlier. We were going great there, and then...at least mother can't find us here."

"Yes, being cursed once is enough for any day," I agreed. "I'm neither schooled in the law like Amelia, nor am I a strategist like Remus; but I am a Potions Master. There are potions that get stronger the longer that they cure, perhaps our little pea here is like that for the curse. Pea is barely anything yet, let's be honest, I am at most three weeks pregnant. The Muggle doctor that did the procedure doesn't even want to see me for another two weeks to do some sort of test for it. The only reason we found out today, was because Grace put the indicator charm on me. Maybe, pea needs to grow a little more, so that more of the curse will be broken.

"So, for right now, I can only kiss you, no um, touchy, feely stuff?" he asked me, with that devilish grin that usually signaled his getting his way.

"For right now, yes, we can only kiss -- and do what we were doing before, you know with the, um, holding and getting out my little purple partner there," I said, feeling the blush grow on my cheeks.

"Ellie, Lolly, my love, please stop blushing so. You really shouldn't be embarrassed that you enjoy having sex, however different that sex might be, with your husband," he teased and I could feel the air being sucked out of the room at the word.

"But, you're not," I said, and even though in his heart and soul, he was my husband, by law he was not; Sirius was married to another woman, a woman who wanted to kill me because he spent his nights with me. I pulled my nightgown down, and rolled away from him.

"Lolly, please, you know what I meant," he pleaded.

"I know, I'm sleepy, love. We'll talk more in the morning," I said over my shoulder and scooted my body away from his. The minute he said the word, my memory was overwhelmed with Rosemund and her threats, just before we left for our holiday, a week after her screaming match in the Atrium at the Ministry.

"_Grace, don't you have your own office?" I asked her, as she was once again lounging in my office, getting in the way of my work. _

"_I do, but I don't have anything to do there. Come on, let me put the charm on you, please," she whined. "I just want to see if we get anything, even a little jaundice to your skin would be a good thing."_

"_No," I told her, slipping by her to check on the temperature of the potion I was brewing. It was a restorative potion for a man who had been in stasis for nearly two months, when his kid accidently froze him and then didn't know how to get him out. They lived alone, and the boy was too ashamed to tell anyone. It had taken that long for someone to come and visit them to find out what might have happened. The man was now in St. Mungo's, but the strength of the potion they kept on hand wasn't enough for someone who had been inert for so long. Normally I would have brewed it there, but everyone feels the security is better here._

"_Aren't you even a little interested?" Grace continued to pester._

"_Of course I am, Sirius and I have a hell of a lot riding on whether I am pregnant or not, but you told me yourself that I have to be at least two weeks pregnant for the charm to work. It's only been eight days, so let me get my work done here. There's a poor man in St. Mungo's who'd like to move something other than his right thumb," I told her, once again scooting around her._

_I checked the temperature of the cauldron and then threw in the final ingredients and set the timer. The brew would be done in about a half an hour and I could take it over to the hospital. A blood curdling scream in the outer lab caught both of our attentions, and Grace and I stood to see what was going on. There stood Rosemund, stuck in the barrier that Prentiss had put up in the doorway of the lab. He was fearful for not only my safety, but was concerned about tampering with the supplies or potions in the lab. He knew the family well enough to believe that playing around with things to cause an explosion wasn't beyond them. He'd put up a strong ward, tied to the magic of the people who were allowed in the lab freely. Anyone else needed to be cleared, the ward dropped so they could enter or exit, and then the entry was re-warded. Clearly Rosemund wasn't aware of the new precautions._

"_I saw the seer this morning, and I don't know how you did it," she screamed once she'd stepped back from the ward. I could still see and hear her, as could everyone in the office. "It's got to be some trick, you can't get pregnant with his baby. How did you do it? Did you Imperious him? Trick him into sleeping with you somewhere that the locator wouldn't work? You do know, a baby made that way won't get you the inheritance, I know, I tried that already," she confessed. Rosemund looked as deranged as she had when Sirius and I had seen her a week ago._

"_I WILL KILL YOU AND THAT THING YOU'RE CARRYING!" and with that she unfurled her robes and a small, bloody and mutilated corpse of something fell down onto the floor. I screamed and staggered back to the far wall. Others from the office had come out to see what was going on, and Prentiss tried to detain her, but Rosemund had fled before he could get hold of her. _

_I sank down onto my stool, clutching my stomach, terrified of what that thing was on the floor outside of our lab. I could see Grace digging through my purse to find the charmed compact that Sirius had made me, so that I could get in touch with him or Amelia if needed, but it didn't matter, she was gone and she knew our secret._

_Arielle came back and told me that it was a baby pig, not that it made me feel better, because all I could see and hear was her screaming that she'd kill us both and her throwing that poor body on the floor._

I could feel that Sirius had fallen asleep next to me, but I couldn't close my eyes, the images of that day and today were too fresh in my mind. I slid from the bed and walked the few steps to Harry's room, and slid into his bed. I might not have had my big brother to chase my fears away, but I had his little boy. Maybe it would do the same thing.

I awoke before everyone else the next morning, and slipped into the loo on the second floor, before heading downstairs. I was pleased to see that the same pleasant yellowy glow was on my belly as yesterday, and the screams and howls of last night seemed to have been burned off by the morning sun, just like the mist from the meadow outdoors.

I put the kettle on, it was still sitting where I set it down last night while Sirius embraced me. I turned and my fingers lingered over the spot where he had sat me on the counter and throughly snogged me last night. I swear that I felt dizzy at the memory of it. I went over to the charmed phonograph player, the one that had been my father's, and put on my favorite morning music; Copeland's _Appalachian Spring Suite, _the joyful tune started and I opened up the curtains, letting in the bright sunlight bathe the sitting room and kitchen.

The kettle started to whistle, and I put the pot on for tea and then threw together some muffins and set them in the stove. It wasn't long before Harry was tearing down the stairs, clearly smelling the muffins from his room.

"Ewwhie, did you make muwffins?"

"I sure did, and I brought in the berries from the bushes in back, so get up in your chair and you can have a fresh muffin and a bowl of berries and cream today," I told him and I watched him scamper up into his chair.

"Who stay with me today? Mus isn't here," he quizzed as he stuffed a bit of his berries and cream in his mouth, some dribbled on his chin and he looked like he had a funny little goatee.

"Well," I started as I wiped his face, "since I'm going to have the baby, everybody thinks it would be best if I stayed home to get ready. So, Uncle Sirius is going to be going to work, and Uncle Mus and Aunt Ellie will be home with Harry from now on. Is that okay with you?"

"Mus and Ewwhie? Yeah, that's great!" he cheered as he went about eating his breakfast. I took a bite of the muffin and a swallow of tea, but as soon as it hit my stomach, I knew that it was the wrong thing to do. I decided to wait until a little later to try eating again.

Sirius came down, already showered and dressed to head into the Ministry. I promised him that I had my mirror so that he could call and check on us, but I assured him that I was fine. We talked for a few minutes, and I decided that I would be doing some rearranging to the interior of the house. The first floor had a small study, a very small study. It was decided that I would charm it today, making it large enough to accommodate a bed and bureau for Grace's stay. I could go over to Potter house and pilfer some more furniture once Remus was here.

There was also a tiny coat closet on this floor that we had never really used. I preferred to have the cloaks on pegs by the door, I thought that they dried off better that way; and we had a cupboard in the kitchen that we used to store the broom, mop and other such things. I would charm the closet to be a lab, so that I could continue my work while I was in exile here.

Amelia fire called and said that she would be by with the results of the brew that I had going when we left, as well as my personal potions books and such from my office area at the Ministry. I set about setting up the space during the day, making a list of the supplies that I would need, and finally owling it to Prentiss. He said that he would box everything up and then take it up to Hogwarts, so that Professor Dumbledore could deliver it to me. I would have been willing to have Prentiss know where our house was, but he preferred not having that knowledge, just felt safer that way.

Grace and Remus returned late in the afternoon, and it was good to see her leaning on him, and he gently stroking her shoulders with his hand. I wasn't going to push them, but clearly, they'd buried their old hurts and were on their way to something new.

Within a few days, I had my new lab set up. Remus and I worked out a schedule so that I could be undisturbed. I would work from one o'clock until five o'clock every afternoon, while Harry slept and played, and then Remus and Harry would make dinner. The day before the new schedule was to start, we sat Harry down, and set up the house rules.

"Harry, Aunt Ellie still has work to do, even though she's home getting ready for the baby," Sirius started. I had told him that I would do this part, but he really wanted to be involved in all of it, not just the fun parts of being Harry's guardian, so I let him.

Harry nodded his understanding of this. "So, once lunch is over every day, you are going to go upstairs for your nap. When your nap is done, you're to go to your Uncle Mus or I, if I'm at home. You're not to disturb your Aunt Ellie, unless it's a real emergency, until dinner time. Do you understand me?'

"Yes Doggy, after naps with Doggy and Mus," Harry parroted.

"And Harry, you are to never, ever, ever go into Aunt Ellie's closet lab. That is her private place, and it is dangerous. Do you understand me?" Sirius stressed, his voice very thick and deep.

"Yes Doggy."

"Well, alright then. I understand that you and Ellie made some blueberry bars today, is that true?" Harry nodded at his godfather. "Well then, come on, let's go see if they're good dipped in milk."

Harry followed the rules very well, for nearly two weeks, and then one rainy day, he got bored. I was working in my lab, once again reformulating the curse burn potion. I knew that Remus and Grace were in the house, so I really wasn't paying attention to what was going on around me. I was completely frustrated that the final step of the potion kept inverting, therefore making the potion useless.

Then I heard the crash of glass behind me.

I turned to see Harry standing in front of a pile of glass shards, his eyes big as saucers, staring at the phial that he'd dropped on the floor. I sprang to my feet, not knowing what he'd dropped.

"Harry, where did you get that phial?" I asked him, gripping his arm tightly.

"R..r...r..right here," he eked out, tears beginning to spill over from his eyes. I looked where he was pointing, and I realized that he hadn't dropped anything important, just some Buttercup flower juice. I sighed, and then looked down at the trembling toddler. He knew that he was in trouble, he had disobeyed a rule.

I put my hand on his back, and marched him out of my lab, turning around and using my wand to put my potion into hibernation mode and to contain all of my flames. I then closed the door and sealed it with a strong ward. I looked at the clock, it was nearly five, so Sirius would be walking through the door any minute. I contemplated taking care of this myself, but I also remembered how badly he wanted to be a part of all aspects of raising Harry.

"Sit down, your godfather will be home soon, and then we can decide what your punishment will be for disobeying the rules," I told him quietly, and he sat down on his little chair by the fireplace.

Grace and Remus came out from the kitchen, and if I had been in a better mood, I would have noticed them holding hands. I explained what had happened, and that we were waiting for Sirius to come home.

Harry sat by the fire, quiet as a mouse, with big fat tears running down his cheeks. I knew that he was sorry that he'd gone in my lab, and that he regretted breaking the phial. I was willing to accept his apology, but if we were going to raise Harry and the baby together, Sirius and I needed to do this together too. This was going to be our first real test as parents, as a team, as partners.

Sirius walked through the door a few minutes later, and he could tell by the faces of the adults gathered around the room that there was trouble. He looked to me, but then turned to Harry, and asked him what had happened.

"I went into Ehwwie's wab and I broke something," he said quietly. Sirius again looked at me and I nodded.

"What are the rules?" Sirius asked him, firmly, but with kindness in his voice.

"Don't bother Ehwwie after nap and don't go in her wab," Harry responded, now clearly bawling. I just wanted to scoop my little nephew up and comfort him. I hated to see him sad, he'd had so much sadness already in his life.

"That's right, buddy. Now, because you broke the rules, you know that there are going to be consequences right?" Sirius asked the little boy, and he nodded. "I want you to apologize to your Aunt Ellie for what you broke, and then you're going to go to bed without any desert, okay?"

"Yes, Doggie," Harry responded and he got up from his little chair and ran over to me. I knelt down and he flung himself in my arms. "I so sowwry, Ehwwie. I no do it again," he promised.

"I know, sweetheart. I know. Why don't you go and wipe your face off and then go and get ready for dinner. I think that Mus made us spaghetti tonight," I tried to calm him, holding him tight in my arms and rocking him.

"Okay, I wub you Ehwwie, I sorry."

"I love you too, Harry, and I accept your apology. Go on, let's get ready to eat. The pea wants some spaghetti too," I told him, and he took off for the downstairs loo. Grace and Remus went back into the kitchen, and I looked over at Sirius. Even though he'd wanted the discipline job, I could see what doing it had done to him. He looked distraught and drained. I went over, unfastened his work robes and let them slide off of his shoulders, and then threw them on the chair behind us. I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck and standing on my tip toes so that I could reach his lips, and kissed him. It was a kiss of love and comfort, from one parent to another, confirming that he'd done the right thing. I then laid my head on his chest.

"You did very well, there. You were firm and yet caring. I'm proud of you. You have the makings of a fine Dad," I whispered.

"That was so hard, Lolly. When he looked up at me, I just wanted to let it go," he confessed.

"I know, but being a parent means that we overlook the puppy dog eyes, and do what's best for Harry. He didn't break anything valuable or dangerous today, but we both know that there are such things in my lab. He needed to learn the lesson, and I think that he did. However, to be safe, I'm going to put a charm on the door to let me know if anyone slips in there while I'm working. Just to be safe."

"You're a good Mummy, too, Miss Ellie Potter. A very good Mummy, indeed," he crooned into my head, but the word only brought on new pangs of guilt that I was the one here with Harry.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: This might be the longest chapter yet for this story, and please remember, it does carry and "M" rating. Latin translation: _Somes Cruor Consecro _means Body Blood Consecration. Thanks for reading, and please drop me a line and let me know what you think of the story. Mutt**

**Chapter 15:**

**Anniversary**

"Please, don't allow me to interrupt you," I muttered as I shuffled into the kitchen. Remus and Grace were snogging in their pajamas right in front of the table. I needed some Peppermint Tea and I needed it now.

"Sorry, Ellie," Remus said, wiping his face, but missing the bits of Grace's lipstick that had clung to the side of his mouth. "How are you feeling this fine morning?" He was way too happy this morning, clearly things were moving along with him and Grace.

"I will grant you that it's morning, I will not concede that it's fine," I argued back and reached for the kettle and setting it on the burner. "I feel the way I have felt for weeks now, like it's work to keep anything in my damned stomach!"

"Hey, hey there," Grace said, coming over and pushing me down into a chair. "I know that morning sickness is getting to you, but honey, you don't need to be taking it out on us. The Healer and Muggle doctor said that it should be going away, now that you're out of your first trimester. Just be patient a little bit longer. Here, drink this, I promise it will help." She handed me a phial with a thick blue substance in it.

"What is it?"

"It's my grandmother's Peppermint Prevention Brew, generally used for when you've over imbibed in the Firewhiskey, but I think that it will work wonders for you too. I checked, there is nothing in there that will hurt either you or the baby. I promise," she told me and I slipped the cork from the glass and put it to my lips. It did indeed taste like peppermint and it was sweet. As soon as the concoction hit my stomach, I started to feel better, it was amazing.

"Why were you holding out on me about this stuff?" I asked her. I'd had three months of hellish vomiting.

"It wasn't until we went to go and see my Mum that I was reminded of it," Grace told me. "So are we forgiven for the public display of affection over the breakfast table?" She looked at me hopefully, and I sighed and shook my head.

"Yeah, glad that someone is getting some sex around here at least," I sighed, laying my head down on the table. The nausea was gone, but I still wanted to crawl back into bed.

"There wasn't...we haven't..." Remus stammered and blushed and I looked at him and cocked an eyebrow.

"Dear, first of all, you howl when you...finish, so trust me, we all know when you're done. Second of all, neither of you are particularly good with the Silencing Charms."

"Ellie, I'm quite sorry, for both of us," Grace apologized.

"Hey, I'm glad that the two of you are back together. You were too wild for your own good," I said pointing at Grace; "and you were too repressed for your own good," I indicated Remus. "The two of you together is like finding a happy medium there. Now, we do need to discuss the living arrangements. I would understand if the two of you want to move out and get a place of your own, or go to Grace's or..."

"As long as you'll have us, we're not going anywhere," Remus told me in no uncertain terms. "I feel better having us all in the house, for your safety as well as Harry's. Once the baby is born, you and Sirius are married and the threat is gone, Grace and I will move out. If that's okay with you?"

"It's all good with me," I smiled at them both, watching as they stood side by side, sipping their morning tea. They made a cute couple, Remus standing about four inches taller than Grace, his brown hair all rumpled and every which way, much like little Harry's. His eyes were a bright golden brown and he was genuinely smiling. Grace was tall for a girl, only a few inches short of six feet herself. She had dark brown hair, that would look almost black in low light, but in the sunshine, it would glisten and glimmer like warm chestnuts. Her eyes were the most beautiful pale blue and she had a gentle sweetheart face with dark pink lips. Grace's hair had a natural curl to it, and while she wasn't fat, there was a plumpness to her figure that gave her curves in all the right places. They made a handsome couple, especially standing there, arms around each other, basking in the glow of having spent time in your lover's arms.

The kettle started to whistle, and I stood to put a pot on for Sirius, he would drink two or three cups of Breakfast tea every morning before leaving for work; and a single little cup of Peppermint tea for me. I missed my morning cuppa, but I was trying very hard to stay away from the caffeine, like I had been told to do. Giggles, accompanied by heavy footsteps let me know that my family had arrived downstairs for their breakfast. Due to my overwhelming nausea, and utter distain for food before ten in the morning, Remus had taken over the breakfast cooking duties. He nudged me aside, and started plating the eggs, bangers, tomatoes and toast for the guys, while Grace got plates of toast and honey for us. Sirius had already put Harry in his highchair, so I leaned down and kissed my godson.

"Hello there little love, how did you sleep?"

"Good, but I think that there was a wolf in the yawrd," he said and I had to hold back the laugh that was going to burst out. "There was howlin' at the moon," he explained, going so far as to howl the word 'howlin''. Remus had turned bright red and both Grace and Sirius had turned away from the table with their laughter.

"Yeah, I heard it too, sweetheart, but I'm sure that we won't hear it again, okay?" I said through my near laugh.

"Uh huh," he said as he started to stuff his mouth.

"Wow, slow down there, you're going to make yourself sick," I told him and he looked up at me with those big green eyes.

"Ewwhie, Mus is taking me to see Inny and Ron today. Mrs. Weawey has a costume for me for Hadoween." I paused at the word Halloween, knowing that it was tomorrow. Harry had no memory of last year, I was beginning to wonder if had any real memories of his Mum and Dad at all anymore, of if he only remembered the pictures and stories that we all told him.

Sirius came over and wrapped his arms around me, and I had to work very hard not to cry. "That will be really fun, Harry. Make sure that you thank Mrs. Weasley for her trouble."

"We will," Remus said. "I thought that we could go over there this afternoon, while you're out and then she's invited us all for dinner, if you're up to it." I nodded at him. Sirius turned me around and kissed me gently and languidly, caressing my lips with his, letting me know how much he loves me. "She also said that Harry was welcome to trick or treat with the boys tomorrow night." I nodded again, realizing that I had neither thought about it or made any plans.

"You going to be okay today?"

"I will. I need to take care of these things, they have to be done within a year, and I have completely left it to the last minute. You're sure that you can take the time off from work to go with me?"

"I'm sure. I have no desire to have anyone else take you to the bank today, even with your Auror escort," I rolled my eyes at that concept, "don't do that, Ellie. You need them to be with you, and I will be with you as well. Harry will be safe at the Weasley's with Remus while we're gone. We've planned all this out." I grunted at him, it was the best he was going to get from me, as I really didn't want to go along with this, but I had no choice.

We finished breakfast and Sirius was off, not before a much more passionate kiss in the front hallway and a sweet little kiss on the baby. The glow on my stomach was a much stronger yellow-orange color, and it had spread to cover the entire bulge that now sat between my hip bones. Grace and Sirius apparated to work together, knowing that they were both safer than if they did it on their own. We'd all become hyper aware of our surroundings whenever we left the confines of our little cottage.

I gave Harry his bath, hoping that he'd stay clean until he left for the Weasleys, and then I got myself ready for the day. Harry, Remus and I ate some pumpkin soup for lunch, and then we waited for my Auror guard to arrive to take me to Diagon Alley and Gringotts. Five minutes to one, there was a knock at the door, and there stood Amelia and an Auror that I didn't recognize.

"Hi Amelia, how are you," I welcomed her into my house with a hug, and she introduced me to Linda Hecksmith, the Auror who would be with us today. We watched the guys floo over to the Weasley house, and then we left. I carrying the satchel of documents with me for the distribution of Jamie's will and the transferring of all official family holdings into my name, and a trust for Harry.

We moved quickly through Diagon Alley, Amelia promising me that if everything went well in the bank, we could do a little shopping afterwards. I knew that I would need some maternity clothes soon, and Harry needed some winter items, and I just wasn't pleased with what we could find in town. I also very much wanted some chocolate, and some oranges, and kippers, oh, and some pumpkin pasties. My cravings were really all over the board.

Sirius and his partner were standing on the steps of the bank, waiting for us.

"We require two Aurors and an MLE officer to go sign some forms?" I asked while I looked at Devon Gilchrist. I'd gotten to know the man that was posing as Sirius partner at Magical Catastrophes, and we'd been over to his home to dine with he and his wife and their five year old daughter several times.

"Just being safe, Ellie. We've heard some disturbing things from our spies among the remaining Death Eaters, and well, we'd all feel better if we've got you covered, okay. Take you and Sirius out, and little Harry is left very exposed." Devon explained.

"Yeah, yeah. Who would have thought that a simple trip to the bank would cause such a ruckus. What are all of you going to do while we're in here?" I asked.

"These two will patrol the lobby, watch who goes in and out and I'll be with you and Sirius; the goblins will allow me to ride in the car down with you," Amelia said, and it seemed a little silly, but I went with it.

We went into the lobby, and true to their word, the Aurors took off, and made themselves look inconspicuous. I stepped up to the counter, and told them that I was there to deal with the Potter and Hightower vaults, and the young goblin nodded, hopped down from his stool and went to get another goblin.

"Miss Potter, if you would follow me," the older goblin asked, and Sirius I followed. We crossed through a little barrier, and were taken to another room, this one resembling an office.

"On behalf of the Goblin Nation, please accept our condolences on the death of your brother and his wife. Gringotts has long served the Potter family, and the Goblin Nation has only fine things to say about your family," he said stiffly, but I knew that the sentiment was genuine. "I was concerned that you wouldn't make it in before the deadline. That would have created more paperwork."

"I know I left things to the last, but," I paused, having to swallow back tears, "things have been complex for us." Sirius wove his fingers through mine and it helped me so to have him here with me.

"I understand, and may I congratulate you on your impending birth. Your child will be the proud union of three old families and an ancient lineage," he said and I looked at him surprised. This wasn't public knowledge, at least Sirius and I didn't believe it to be. "By your face I can tell that you are surprised. Goblins know when an heir has been created, and to which line they belong. It is something that we must be able to do, in order to serve our most trusted customers. Your secret will be safe with me."

"Thank you," I told him. I signed all of the parchments, thereby taking over the responsibility for the oversight of the Potter Family Vault, the Hightower Family Vault, the Potter Investment Fund as well as Harry's Trust Fund. The goblin we worked with, Yarnif, was kind enough to also draw up the papers so that when the baby was born, he or she would be listed as an heir to the Potter, Hightower and Black family vaults.

"A juncture of such family lines, it is a rare thing. These are three of the oldest families in the Wizarding World. You child will be highly prized," he told us cryptically and I didn't like the way he worded his sentence. I looked at Sirius, and it appeared as if he'd missed the comment by the goblin.

When the paperwork was done, we got into the little cart to go down to the vaults. The Potter and Hightower Vaults were close together, as the families were both old. From the Hightower vault I got the cradle that I had slept in as a baby and passed it to Sirius who shrunk it and put it in the sack that he had brought with him to carry things out. He couldn't come in, since he wasn't an heir. I took some books that I thought that Remus would like, as well as a few pieces of jewelry that I planed to have cleaned and repaired to give to Molly, Amelia and Grace for Christmas. I figured that shopping might be difficult with my permanent escort, and these were unique and quite old pieces. I also found the ancestral wedding robes, still in the pink box that I had last seen it in, and I shrunk it down and stowed it in my robes to hold onto for the day that I would need it.

We then went to the Potter vault, where I again grabbed a few books, a few of Jamie's toys from when he was a child for Harry and Jamie's first real broom. He had started flying on it when he was three, and I thought that it might make a nice gift for Harry for Christmas. I was done rather quickly there, and again slipped back to the waiting cart.

"Mr. Black, since we are so close, would you and Miss Potter like to go into the Black Family Vault?" Yarnif asked, and Sirius looked surprised.

"I thought that my mother had banned me from the family accounts?"

"You mother," Yarnif cringed as he said it, and I guessed that she had been as pleasant with him as she was with just about everyone else, "made it impossible for you to draw from either her funds or the Grimmauld Place accounts, however, you are a Black and therefore, you have the right to enter the Black Family Vault at your leisure, and remove any contents that you wish. It is your birthright."

"Oh, um, well then, yeah," Sirius said with a smirk.

"How come I can go into his family vault, but he couldn't go into either the Potter or Hightower ones?" I asked, this didn't make sense.

"You are carrying the Black family heir, therefore, as the mother of the heir, you are welcomed into the vault. Once you are married, Mr. Black will be able to enter into all of your vaults as well," he explained.

"Oh," was the only response that I thought of. We took the short ride to the Black vault and Sirius and I got out, and walked in. The vault reminded me of Grimmauld Place, full of spooky and questionable items. Sirius was excited however, finding things from his childhood and more importantly, from his beloved Uncle Alaphard. He was also very happy to see the stacks and stacks of gold there. I knew that it had bothered him that I was paying for so many of the things we needed, I could predict that he would be insisting on paying for more now.

I was starting to tire, so I went to find someplace to sit down, when I spied a bench from across the room. It was a large, regal looking bench, covered in bright red velvet and it looked very comfortable, especially to a pregnant woman who had now been on her feet for several hours. As I got closer I noticed a drop cloth thrown over part of it, and when I went to shift it aside, I found the reason for its placement. Attached to the far side of the bench was a bronze troth, that drained into a goblet. My breath caught and I felt the room begin to spin when I realized that I knew where I had seen this seat and why it was here.

I started shaking as I remembered that day, the day of Sirius cousin's wedding. That awful day when I went screaming from his house and my parents refused to ever let me set foot in it again. I was much, much older before I was allowed to return, and even then, it was against my parents better judgement.

I started to cry and I just wanted out of there. I started backing away, trying to get to the door, but I kept running into things and knocking things over in my haste. Sirius was on the other side of the large room, reducing a telescope to put in the sack that we brought. When he saw me, he closed the sack and came over to me.

"Lolly, Lolly, what's wrong?" Fear was gripping his usually beautiful features, contorting them as if he were in pain. "Is it the baby?"

"No, I just...can we please leave?" He wrapped his arms around me, one going to lift my blouse to look at my belly. It was still the same yellow-orange from this morning, the baby was indeed fine.

"Of course, my love, we'll go," he said and keeping his arm around me, ushered me from the vault. As I sat down, I cast one last look at that awful bench, understanding the lengths that his family would go to keep their secrets. I was so thankful when the heavy door slammed shut.

Amelia looked concerned, but thankfully didn't ask anything when we sat back down, Sirius however, did not do the same. "What happened back there?" he asked as he stroked my cheek.

"I just remembered something...something that didn't make any sense to me at the time, but that now...just, it was a long time ago, please, don't make me tell you," I begged him.

"Later, when we're home, okay? You're okay, Lolly, nothing is going to harm you, love. I'm so sorry that you were scared," he told me quietly, while still rubbing my cheeks, and I closed my eyes and tried to push away the memory.

We got back to the main floor, and our Auror escort was once again with us. Sirius wrapped his arm around me, and we started walking out onto the street. It was still early, so we decided to do a little shopping. The stores were decorated for the holiday, and I picked up some candy for Harry and for the Weasley children at Honeydukes. Sirius got me an obscenely large box of chocolates.

"Are you trying to make me fat?" I asked him when I spied it.

"They're not for you," he whispered in my ear, "they're for the baby." He made me giggle, and I started to feel normal again. We went into the Quidditch store, and Sirius spent money on things he couldn't possibly need, but he wanted anyway, including new jerseys for Remus and him from the Wimbourne Wasps, with the name of their star Beater, "Bagman" on them. He wanted to buy me one, but I reminded him that the Potter's were Ballycastle fans, always had been, always would be. I suspected that he had slipped a little one in there for Harry as well.

We went into the children's clothing store and I got Harry some winter weight clothing and a good study coat and boots for going outside in. Ron was so much larger than Harry that Molly often had hand-me-downs to give us that would fit, so we were never in need of play clothes; but I wanted nicer things for Harry to wear out places or when we had guests. I watched as Sirius gave the owner several hundred Galleons and told her to put it on the Weasley tab, so that if Molly needed to come in to buy the children clothes, money wouldn't be an issue. He also requested that the woman not tell her where it came from, but instead to make up a story about being a valued customer and winning a contest or some such nonsense. It warmed my heart that Sirius wanted to repay some of their kindness in this way.

"Well, I don't know about any of you, but I am parched. How about we head down to the Cauldron and have a some tea before we head back?" Sirius asked and everyone agreed with him, but I looked at Amelia and I made that look at her and she knew what I was thinking. I really needed to buy some maternity clothes and undergarments, but I did not want the guys with us.

"Hey, I need to run into the ladies store here, how about if you two go over to the joke shop there and look around for a few, and we'll meet you," Amelia said, taking the embarrassment upon herself. They agreed, and we went into the women's wear shop while they crossed the street. I quickly found what I needed, the selection wasn't huge, but it was better than feeling like my current clothes were all cutting off my circulation. We were about to leave, when Amelia caught sight of Raleigh Rowle on the street. We stayed in the store until she passed, and we figured that we hadn't been seen.

When we emerged from the store, Amelia and Linda checked for any signs of either of the Rowle sisters, and when there weren't any, agreed that we'd been undetected, and that we should continue on with our plans for tea. We met the guys and headed down the street, Sirius walking next to me, his arm around me, pressing me tightly to his side. Every once in a while, a finger or two would move to the glowy spot on my belly, and the baby would respond by tingling me from the inside. I was amazed that our child, who still had six months before they were going to be born, knew that their father was there and loving them.

We got to the the bar and sat down and placed our order. Conversation was light and pleasant, turns out that Devon and Linda had been in the same training class, and knew each other quite well. Sirius was holding my hand under the table, tracing small circles with his thumb in the palm of my hand, and while it was such a small thing, it was driving me wild. I seemed to remember that the Muggle doctor had told me that increased sexual arousal was part of the second trimester; which is exactly what we didn't need, considering we still hadn't tried doing anything other than kissing since our Caterwauling experience a few months back.

"Auror, someone call the Auror's" we heard a man yelling, and both Linda and Devon stood up.

"Let me go, you're undercover here, remember?" Linda said and she walked over to where we heard the voice coming from. We soon saw Tom, the proprietor of the bar roughly shoving a person toward Linda.

"Shit," Sirius swore when he saw that Tom had Rosemund in his grasp.

"Come on, we're getting out of here, now," Amelia said and both she and Devon almost picked me up and carried me out of the bar, Sirius following closely behind. We got to the small patio behind the Cauldron and Amelia pulled out her emergency portkey and instantly we were at home.

"What the hell was that about?" I screamed. This day had really been too much, first the awful memory in the vault and then Rosemund all wild and screaming in the bar; it didn't help that tomorrow was Halloween, and all the memories that it would bring with it.

"I don't know, but I plan to find out. Devon, alert the department that I'm going over there to get some answers and that you're staying here. Do not leave here until you see me, understand?" Amelia nearly barking her orders.

"Yes, ma'am," Devon said and then she stepped out the door and was gone.

I watched Devon use his Auror communication stone and relay his message. Sirius guided me over to the couch and set us both down.

"Are you sure that you're all right? You look white as a sheet," he said and I laid my head against his chest.

"It was all just...we can't even leave our house," I cried, letting the overwhelming emotions of the day wash out of me.

"I know, love. I know." Sirius stretched us out on the couch, cradling my body to his, and stroked my head and back until I had fallen asleep. I awoke some time later, wrapped in the old quilt that I kept by the fireplace draped over me, and a roaring fire going in the grate. I could hear voices at the kitchen table, and got up to see what they were discussing.

"...she had enough of it on her to kill both of you. I don't know how she got hold of it, but it's tightly controlled because it's nearly impossible to detect by magical examination. If you'd ingested half of what was there..." Amelia sighed and I knew who they were talking about, I just didn't know the what.

"What did she have?" I asked, and Sirius, Amelia and Devon turned to look at me, concern on the faces of the Ministry officers, distress on Sirius face. "Please, tell me, I'll figure it out anyway."

"She had over three ounces of Etternight Poison," Amelia said quietly. I knew the potion, I knew how to brew it, not that I would ever be called upon to do so, it wasn't used any longer, not since the death penalty had been outlawed in 1347 by the Wizengamot, in favor of the Dementors Kiss. I went to sit down next to Sirius, but he instead pulled me into his lap, holding me tightly to him.

"The amount of Hoscyanamus Niger powder that you would need to brew that much...there's no way that it was purchased legally, and the Essence of Daphne required, Sirius, someone who knows how to brew potions, at a Master's level, helped her do this and got her the supplies, and not through legal channels."

"I know, love, I know."

"What happens next?" I asked.

"Thankfully, she's in custody, and given the other two incidents a few months ago, she's being put into Ministry lock up. They're going to move her to the Psychological Ailments ward at St. Mungo's in the morning. Ellie, there's something else that you need to know," Devon told me, and I looked at him. "When we got her into custody, she wasn't making much sense. She was ranting and raving and all of it," he paused, and I urged him on with my eyes. "All of it was about you. She wants to kill you." I had already figured that part out, what I found disturbing was that she was completely crazy.

"She's in custody, and you've already got Auror protection and you live under the Fidelius charm, there isn't much more you can do," Amelia explained. "Just, from now on, if you need to leave the house, even if it's to go in to London to see the Muggle doctor, please, make sure that either Linda or I goes with you."

"I will, thank you." Devon's communicator stone lit up, and it let him know that the night guard was outside the house. I felt crazy for all of this protection, especially if Rosemund was in custody, but I wasn't going to argue, I didn't have the strength after the events of the day.

Amelia took us over to the Burrow for supper, and Molly insisted that she stay and eat with us as well. We made arrangements for the following night, and Amelia told me that they would have two Aurors prepared to go with us, so that Harry could enjoy the night. Harry was so excited about his costume, but he wouldn't tell us what he was going to be, insisting that Mus would help him get ready so it could be a surprise. It was the first really happy moment my whole day had contained; watching him try so hard to keep his first secret.

Grace came home late, and told us all the gossip that she had learned at the Ministry about Rosemund's arrest, and the reactions of Walburga Black and Thornfin and Raleigh Rowle. Sirius just shook his head at the stories of how his mother screamed and howled in the Ministry atrium, claiming that her family was being unfairly attacked. When someone had the audacity to point out that it was her son that Rosemund was trying to poison, she announced that "that is beside the point, death would be too pleasant for him."

"Yes, that's the woman who bore me and let me suckle at her breast," he said sounding embarrassed and disgusted. "Thankfully, this little pea has a Mummy that loves them already, huh baby." His excitement over the baby was my comfort for the day. We said our goodnights, and I looked at Remus and reminded him that we didn't need the wolf in the yard again tonight. He turned red again and Grace just looked pleased.

When we were in bed, Sirius pulled me to him and kissed me deeply. It felt like heaven, having him hold me and caress my lips with his tongue. After a minute he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "Lolly, love, tell me what scared you so in the vault today, please."

I debated not telling him, what I would tell him, it was just awful, at least what of it I understood. It wasn't until I was older that I had really sorted the whole thing out in my head for myself, but it was still disturbing. "Lolly, nothing you tell me about my family can surprise me, trust me."

"I'm not so sure," I told him quietly, waiting for him to stop me. When he didn't, I started my tale. "The first time that I was ever in your parents house was for your cousin's wedding."

"Which one?" he asked, and I couldn't remember her name.

"The dark haired, crazy one."

"Bella, okay, that was, um, '69, so we were nine, oh, sorry, you were eight, it was summertime," he teased and I huffed back at him, always liking to pick on me for being younger, just like Jamie did.

"Anyway, the party was going on, and I needed to use the loo, but you and Jamie had run off somewhere and I didn't know where you'd gone and..." I stopped to take a deep breath in, and he just held me tighter.

"I'm sorry that we left you alone."

"It's okay, usually when you did, I just went and found Mummy or your nice cousin, Andi, right? I remember playing with her when we were at the summer house."

"Yeah, Andromeda is the nice one, and we did call her Andi when she was little. So what happened?"

"I asked someone where the loo was, and they pointed me down the hall and told me to turn left, but I got confused and I turned right, and when I opened up the door, it wasn't the loo."

"Father's study."

"Yes, and Sirius, Bella and her husband were...he had her bent over bench and they were naked and your father was there, cutting her back and arms. The blood was being collect in a cup, which your father handed to her husband and he drank it as he...I screamed at the blood and the knife and went running. It was awful," I sobbed into his chest, remembering how scared I was as a little girl. "I ran right into your mother, who was mortified that I was yelling in her house and I don't know if she realized what I'd seen, but then my Mummy was there, and I started to tell her and she grabbed me, and pulled me out of there. We found Daddy and she told him to find Jamie and bring him home, you too if you wanted. And then she brought me home, and calmed me down. I think that she did a memory charm on me, just a little one, so that I would forget, because I didn't remember all of it until I was researching old rites in the Restricted Section. It all came back today when I saw the bench in the vault."

"Oh, Ellie, I...I don't even know what to say. I have no idea what they were doing in there, but my parents families practiced old, dark magics..." Sirius started.

"It was the _Somes Cruor Consecro_" I told him. "I told you, I stumbled upon it in the Restricted Section. Sirius, it's barbaric. I just." I stopped and sighed. "It took my mother a very long time to explain to me that sharing myself with the man that I loved would not look like that. That I would make love, not be violated in that way. It really wasn't until I fell in love with you that I understood it," I confessed, and he rolled us, so that he was lying next to me. His hand grasped the end of my nightgown, and he pulled it all the way off.

"Ellie Potter, I would never hurt you," he told me, as his fingers traced along my face. "I will always treat your body with the utmost of care and treasure every inch of it. For this is the body that houses your heart and your soul, the two things that I love most about you. This is the body that is growing our child, the sign that our union is good and meant to endure. This is the body that wears my mark," he told me, his fingers sliding down to lay between my breasts on top of the sign of our rite. He leaned down to kiss me, but I put my hand up.

"Before we do this, um, lets silence the room, just in case. Gave Remus a hard enough time today, we'd never hear the end of it." Sirius grabbed his wand and cast the spell, and then laid back down next to me. Languidly kissing around my face, coming close to my lips but never quite touching them. Each time I would get close, I would arch myself, trying to get him to put his lips on mine, but he deftly passed them by, knowing what he was doing to me.

When he did finally kiss me, it was if there was an explosion inside me. I could feel him everywhere, even though we were barely touching. His tongue ran along the sides of my mouth and then danced with mine. His one hand was knotted in my hair, the other was carefully stroking along the side of my body, not wanting to get to close to my breasts, even though I ached for him to do so.

His lips wandered down my neck, and his tongue danced along the tattoo in the hollow of my chest, and then he surprised me, as his lips moved across from the valley, and up to the peak of my chest. We both waited for the alarm to go off, but there was nothing, and I was silently thanking our growing baby for breaking more of that darned curse that was meant to keep us apart.

Sirius continued his oral ministrations, and the feelings that his lips were giving me were overwhelming. It didn't help that the baby somehow knew that Daddy was making Mummy happy, and it was flooding my body with those baby warm tingles. Sirius shifted himself, settling between my legs, and I could feel all of him, even though I had my knickers on and he was wearing his pajama pants, it didn't matter, I knew that he was feeling as good as I was.

We gyrated against one another, lips finding each others and then moving on to more skin. My legs wrapped around his bum of their own accord and I held him to me.

"Don't stop, I can feel..oh, god it feels so good..." I moaned, and my lover kept up his grinding. A moment later, I felt my body tense in the most delicious way, and shortly after, Sirius' did the same. We laid there, sweaty and wrapped up in each other, and for the first time in years, satiated in our lovers embrace. He held me, whispering words of love and devotion in my ear, and then he slid from me, grabbing his wand and cleaning up the mess. Sirius then grabbed my nightgown and redressed me, and then we curled together in our bed, in the closest thing to post-coital bliss that we'd could remember.

"Well, that was...invigorating," he said, sounding quite happy and pleased.

"Yes, I don't think that we've dry humped each other since we were oh, sixteen. But I am not complaining, it was, perfect. I love you, Sirius."

"I love you too, Ellie," and he sealed it with a kiss. Then his hand crept to the swell in my belly. "I love you too, baby."

Halloween passed quickly enough, and Harry was thrilled with his little doggy costume, complete with a tail that wagged when he walked. Molly swore to us that she had made it for Percy when he was small, and that one of the twins had worn it in the past, but I suspected that she made it so that Harry could look like his Doggy that night. After Harry collapsed in bed, once he was off of his sugar high, our Auror escort came to take us to my brother's grave. Grace and Amelia would stay with the sleeping child so that Remus, Sirius and I could go and visit them.

Their graves remained unmarked, but I knew how to pace them off from the barren Willow tree. I couldn't bring any flowers to leave there, since it didn't appear that there was anyone buried where they were. The Aurors patrolled the perimeter, giving us as much privacy as they could. Remus said his peace to his friends, and then stepped back, letting Sirius and I talk to my brother and his wife alone. I needed him to hold me, because I wasn't sure that would have had the strength otherwise.

"Hi Jamie, Lily, um, it's been a year...its hard to believe, but..." I started to shake and sob. "I miss you Jamie, I miss that you're not here to tell me to smile and tease me that I can't remember where my glasses are, even when they're sitting on the top of my head. My heart aches so much for you, big brother. I hate that I'm the one raising your little boy. Harry has grown so much, and he's got such a strong little personality, and he flies, oh Jamie, he flies just like you did. Lily, I miss you too, I miss the way you would remind me to live a little, and take me to buy fancy underwear, even though I didn't think that anyone would see it," I sniffled in the stuff leaking from my nose. "Lily, I am trying to raise Harry like you would, I hope that I'm making you proud, but it should be you here, raising your son, not me. I'm so sorry that I failed you Jamie, but I promise, I won't fail Harry. I would give up my life to bring you back, so that you could love your little boy." I dissolved into sobs and curled myself into Sirius.

"Hey Prongs, Lilybelle, yeah, I'm here with Ellie," Sirius said, his voice better composed than mine, but still thick with emotion. "Funny, thing, it took your dying for us to find each other again. We're living together, finally got away from that shrew and I'm working on divorcing her, but Ellie and I are living together and we're raising Harry, just like a real family; well, except for the fact that Remus and Grace live there too, but that's another story. The most amazing thing here Prongs is that I'm gonna be a Dad. Ellie is pregnant with my little baby, and it's the baby that's gonna let us be a family. So, while Ellie may be willing to give up her life to bring you back," he said his voice cracking for the first time, "I'm so glad that she's here. Your dying wasn't in vain there, guys. It gave your sister and I our lives back, and we won't ever forget that. I miss you brother, every day; but I promise I will love and protect your sister and your son. I swear it to you, they're everything to me. Thanks for watching over us, wherever you are, and getting us back to each other."

I was amazed by his words, and for the first time in a year, it wasn't guilt that I felt when I thought of Jamie, it was thankfulness, and hope, and I really did pray that he was watching me from somewhere, smiling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16:**

**Happiest Christmas**

"Oh, look at you!" Molly squealed at me as I stepped out of the floo, reaching for the chair in front of me to steady myself. It seemed that with my new girth, my center of gravity had shifted and I rarely was able to floo without falling out of the grate. She was presently at my side, one hand on my arm, and the other going to the bump that was very obvious in my belly. It seemed as of late that no one could keep their hands of my belly, and it was starting to bother me. "Ellie, you're so big already, are you sure that there's only one baby in there?" Thankfully, Sirius chose that moment to come through the floo, and in his ever so proud papa way, produced the Muggle picture that they had taken at my last visit. I really couldn't make much of anything out of the fuzzy black and white image that didn't even move, but to Sirius, it was his first picture of "his" baby, and he took it everywhere with him.

"There is only one, Molly dear, and here is what it looks like," he said proudly as Grace, Remus and little Harry came out of the floo. I wasn't upset that Remus and Grace were holding onto Harry, but a little irritated that SIrius had left him behind for them. He was supposed to hold his hand for the trip over. Harry saw Ginny in the sitting room, and immediately took off for her.

"Inny, my Inny, I miss you," he said and I watched as he lifted her hand and placed a sweet kiss in her hand, before sitting down next to her, still holding her hand. I sat down in the kitchen chair, wishing it were better cushioned, but I wasn't going to stand and do the spell now, so I would just move to a more comfortable one in a moment.

"Sirius, I don't see anything here," Molly confessed.

"That's what I said," I mumbled and Grace and Remus both laughed.

"No, see they told me this was the head, and this is the bum, or was it the other way around?" Sirius tried to backtrack, but it was clear he didn't know how to read the darn thing either.

"Well, dear, it's lovely. Did the Healer tell you if it's a boy or a girl?" Molly asked as she patted his shoulder in her oh so motherly way, dismissing his enthusiasm over the blob in the picture.

"They would have, so would have the Muggle doctor, but Ellie didn't want to know," he said in a huff, turning to glare at me. I just sat there looking at him, knowing that I was driving him a little crazy with this.

"I want it to be a surprise, because it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. We're going to love them regardless," I told him and his face softened.

"Of course, you're right," he came over and kissed me gently. "So, what exactly are we here to do today?" he addressed Molly as he turned from me.

"It is a tradition in the Weasley house," Molly started, "that Arthur takes the older boys out to cut down our family Christmas Tree. While he is doing that, I bake some holiday biscuits and make some mulled cider and when they get back, we decorate the tree together. I thought that you and Remus might want to go and get a tree for your house, and Grace and Ellie can stay here with me. When we're finished here, we can go and do the same at your house. I have dinner already on the stove, so when we're done, we've hot warm onion soup and bread I baked this morning. Grace, I understand that you're quite a little cook?"

"Yes, ma'am. I brought my own apron and everything," she said, producing the pink gingham checked frock from within her robes. Finding out that Grace was an excellent cook was a bit of a shock for me, it wasn't what I would have predicted from her.

"Excellent!" Molly enthused. "Ellie, dear, I thought that we could let you be the one to supervise the decorating and sugaring of the biscuits."

"That sounds like a plan there Molly. Anything that lets me remain sitting is fine with me. I will however, put a Cushioning Charm on this chair if I'm going to be here a while." I started to shift to get up, but Sirius came over and gently put his hand on my arm.

"Let me do that for you, love." I only rose up a few inches, he did the spell, and I sat down, immeasurably more comfortable, breathing a sigh of relief as my bum settled back down softly.

I watched as all of the Weasley boys, except for Ron, got themselves dressed to go out into the winter cold. Wisely, Mr. Weasley asked Remus if he would supervise one of the twins, leaving the other to their second oldest son, Charlie. I could see the wisdom in not letting Sirius guard either of them, he could very well end up telling him some of his tricks. Sirius and Jamie were famous for their pranks at school, and not all of them should ever be repeated.

Sirius went and kissed Harry goodbye, and then knelt down in front of me. "Do you know how beautiful you look today?" he asked me. "You are positively glowing, Lolly." I could feel myself blush at his accolade. "Have fun and don't over do it, please?"

"I promise, I mean really, how much over doing it can there be decorating biscuits? Go on, and pick out a reasonable sized tree. Remus, we can't fit a huge one in our lounge, make sure that he keeps it to a respectable size." Sirius frowned at me, but I could see the wheels turning in his head.

"Not a problem, Ellie. I'm the reasonable one, after all," Remus joked. We been discussing our personality traits over dinner the other night, about how the four of us actually made a good parenting team, because we all brought something different to the pie. Remus was reason, Sirius was mischief, Grace was pampering and I was caution; and of course, we all did it with gobs of love.

I loved when Remus leaned down and stroked Grace's cheek and then kissed her goodbye. I got warm tingles every time I saw them being affectionate with each other, they really did belong together. A pair of soft lips brushing against my own reminded me that I had quite a wonderful man who was very much in love with me as well.

The men all filed out into the snow, but I was barely watching, instead playing with the strands of hair near my ear on the left side of my face, day dreaming about what Christmas would be like next year, and in the future. I wondered if we would take Harry and the baby to the Longbottom's Christmas Ball, like my mother and father had done for so many years when we were younger. The didn't have one last year, due to what had happened to Alice and Frank, but this year, Mrs. Longbottom was determined to carry on the tradition which had been part of the Longbottom family for over one hundred years.

The Longbottom ball was always held the Saturday night before Christmas, unless it was Christmas Eve, then it was the week before. It was the beginning of what was known as Wizarding Ball Season. The Season lasted through until the middle of February, when the Registry Ball was held. The Registry Ball was an opportunity for families to introduce their children who had become of age for Betrothals in the past year. My parents intentionally kept Jamie and I out of the rest of ball season until we were already at Hogwarts, so that we wouldn't be confused with children who were available for arrangements. We were, however, allowed to attend the Longbottom's Christmas Ball from a very young age. My mother always found me the most lovely dresses, and the night was a relaxed and enjoyable affair. It always reminded me of Fezziwig's Christmas Party from Dickens book, _A Christmas Carol._ My favorite ball however, was when I was twelve, that first season that we were allowed to go to all of the balls.

"_Oh Mum, these robes are," I sighed. My mother had gotten me the most beautiful Pine and Gold dress to wear to the Longbottoms Ball. Jamie and I would be attending all six balls this year, having to leave school three times to accommodate our attendance. Fortunately, there wasn't much happening on the weekends at Hogwarts in the dead of winter. I had a different set of robes to wear to each of them, none of them were white. You only wore white if you wanted to be considered for an arranged marriage. My dresses were all bright jewel tones, nothing even pastel. "I love how they flutter," I told my mother as I spun around. The top was a dark green brocade with delicate stitching of poinsettias in it, all done in gold. The skirt was layer upon layer of gold material that just looked like it was floating in air. My hair was curled and my mother had charmed it so that it sparkled in the candlelight._

_We left for the Longbottom ball, and Mrs. Longbottom and her son greeted us. He was a few years older than me, and told me that I needed to save him a dance, and I said that I would. Jamie just huffed at the attention._

"_It's one dance, he isn't asking to date me," I complained to my brother._

"_Not yet."_

_Mrs. Longbottom was a gracious hostess, and there was always plenty of food, and as I learned in later years, plenty to drink. Mr. Longbottom was a lively and entertaining fellow, who often got the whole crowd singing carols together by the middle of the party. Jamie and I found Sirius and Grace pretty quickly, and the four of us started hanging out together. I was sad that Remus wouldn't be joining us, but he said he had other places he had to be. There were plenty of boys asking Grace to dance, and when she wasn't free, they'd ask me. It was clearly making Jamie and Sirius angry._

_I had done a reel with Frank when a slow waltz started. "I happen to know that you waltz very well, I remember seeing you last year. May I have another dance?"_

"_Of course," I said politely. Frank was not bad looking, but not really good either, but he was respectful and made funny jokes and kept me at ease, so it wasn't bad to dance with him._

"_I understand from my mother, that you and James are doing the circuit this year?"_

"_Yes, now that we're past the Age of Arrangement, we're allowed."_

"_You haven't had a marriage arranged for you?" Frank looked genuinely surprised. _

"_No, my father doesn't believe in them. I will be allowed to marry whom I choose, when I choose." I was proud of the fact that my father was going to respect me to make my own choice in this matter._

"_Wow. I'm lucky, at least Alice and I were sorted into the same house at Hogwarts, so that we can start getting to know each other." He sounded so sad as he said it. We continued to spin around the room, and Frank really was a very good dancer. When the song ended, I saw another boy standing there, clearly wanting to cut in._

"_I should go and dance with my Betrothed. It was an honor, Miss Potter," he said with a bow, and then walked away. I looked at this new boy, he seemed older as well, but I didn't recognize him, figuring that he was in another house._

"_May I have this dance?" he asked. I felt quite apprehensive about it, but I didn't know why._

"_I'm quite parched, perhaps after I've had a moment to catch my breath and have a drink," I suggested, trying to politely slip by him._

"_Oh, come now, just one more?" he asked, grabbing my arm and pulling me to him._

"_Fine, just one," I said, and another waltz started. He held me much to tightly to him._

"_So, Ellie Potter," he sort of sneered my name. "I notice that you're not wearing white, does that mean that you're taken?"_

"_No," I said firmly, "it means that I will choose my husband when I am ready. Who are you anyway?"_

"_Someone from a very old family, a match between our houses would bring much prosperity to us all," he sneered and held me tighter. I didn't like how it felt, and I was concerned that he might bruise me._

"_Ellie," I heard a familiar voice from behind me and I let out a sigh of relief. "I've been looking all over for you." Sirius was suddenly there, reaching for me. "Evan, you will understand, but sweet Ellie here had promised me that we could dance the Christmas Waltz together. I appreciate your allowing me to cut in." Sirius was oozing charm and grace, which seemed to disarm the other boy. Sirius then pulled me to him and took me into a proper hold, the hand that was holding mine gave me a little squeeze of reassurance. "Thank you so very much, Evan. I have been waiting a year to dance this song with Ellie."_

_Sirius then spun us away, and off onto a balcony that was charmed to stay warm. When we were out alone, I laid my forehead down on my friend's chest and let my body relax. Sirius moved his hands so that they were rubbing my back. "Thank you, I didn't like how he was dancing with me."_

"_I didn't like that he had his arms around you either. I've heard some nasty things about him, and when Frank came over and told us that he'd cut in, I decided to come and rescue you. I hope that you don't mind," Sirius said and I looked up at him and smiled._

"_Of course not, it's you, you're my best friend. Who was that?"_

"_Evan Rosier, he's two years ahead of us and he's just...Ellie I heard some really rotten things about him, try and stay away from him, please. He's friends with Lucius Malfoy and..._

"_Say no more," I assured him. I'd heard some rather horrible things about the Malfoy boy, and I knew to stay away from him. "So, what's the going rate for saving a girl, hum? What do I owe you?"_

"_Um, how about, help with my potions homework and I get to dance with you some more tonight?"_

"_That sounds about fair. Thank you, Sirius." I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek and I think that Sirius blushed._

"Ellie, oh Ellie," I heard Grace calling and I was then hit over the head with a dishtowel. "Hey are you in there?"

"Um, yeah, sorry," I said, trying to come back to the present.

"Where were you? And was Sirius with you?" Grace teased and I looked away, embarrassed. "Is it a story you can share?" she asked hopefully.

"I was thinking about the Longbottom Christmas Ball."

"Oh," Molly cried, "I loved going. We haven't been in several years, it's hard to find someone to leave the twins with."

"We'll watch them if you want to go. We can bring Harry over and watch the twins, Ron and Ginny. I think that the older three would enjoy themselves," I offered. Sirius and I didn't think it would be wise to show up at social events with each other, even with Rosemund locked up. We were still liable to run into Raleigh or his mother.

"Well, it's only a week away, and it's the day that Bill comes home from Hogwarts, but" she was all a flutter over the idea, "oh Ellie, are you sure?"

"Positive, Grace and Remus are going, go and have a good time, please."

"Well, if you're sure," I nodded and she started into her work on the biscuit dough, humming a carol to herself as she worked. I looked over at Grace, who winked at me, telling me that she approved of my gesture.

We got to work on the biscuits, Molly taking care of the stove, Grace rolling and cutting and me decorating. The three youngest played in the Sitting Room, well in sight of us, without incident, although Ron did come in to sample the biscuits several times. Soon the house smelled of warm cider and the sugar and nutmeg of the biscuit dough. As we were finishing up, the men arrived home, the trees marching magically in front of their little parade.

Arthur got the tree secured while the boys all sat down for their treat. There weren't enough seats, so Sirius sat down, and then pulled me into his lap in the comfortable arm chair by the fire. His hand drew languid circles on the baby bump. Carols filled the air and everyone was having fun. The boys successfully decorated the bottom third of the tree, with Percy re-arranging the decorations so that they weren't clumped together. Harry would give Ginny ornaments to put on, and then walk over with her. They always hung their side by side, and I even caught Ginny picking up Harry's hand and kissing it. It was good to know that their affection ran both ways.

The adults took over then, getting the top part of the tree decorated. Sirius decided that he didn't want to get up, and took out his wand and would levitate ornament after ornament into place.

"A little lazy, are we today?" I asked him.

"Nope, just if I get up, I can't have my family in my arms anymore," he told me with a kiss, which made him loose his attention and then drop the glass ball that he was levitating. It fell with a crash to the floor. Remus teased him at his getting distracted.

When we were done at the Weasleys, everyone flooed to our house and continued the celebration. We didn't have nearly as many decorations, so the process didn't take as long. We all shared in a wonderful supper while listening to the wireless, and while we did, it started to snow outside. It made for the perfect evening, and I went to bed feeling the holiday spirit for the first time that year.

A few weeks later, I was waiting for Sirius to arrive home from work. Tonight would be a special night, one that I hadn't celebrated in years. I heard the latch on the door open, and Harry and I sat waiting on the couch. When he opened the door and stepped in, he was greeted with a room lit only by the fairy lights on the tree and the brightly burning fire in the grate.

He looked around and smelled the air, and then turned to look at me, happily.

"Yule?" he asked.

"Yule." I confirmed. "Just a small celebration. We've got a goose and warm, spiced wine for supper, and Harry and I have something to show you." I explained as we rose and each took him by a hand and lead him out of the back door. The trees outside had been decorated with nuts, berries, suet balls and hardtack. Gifts for the spirits and creatures of the woods.

"We did it, Doggy, just wike Ewwhie said that she did with Daddy when they were little," Harry told him, and Sirius lifted him into a strong hug.

"Yes, you did. I remember those days, I was often with them. Let's get back inside and go wash your hands, I think that there's a surprise for dessert tonight?" he asked hopefully as looked to me. I nodded that he was right, I had made him my Mother's special honeycake. Sirius set the child down and Harry took off, and Sirius wrapped his arms around me. "Why did you decided to celebrate this, now?"

"Sirius, I've been counting the moon cycles because I had to, but I hadn't been thinking of any of this, the things from my childhood. I just wanted to get through every day. Things are different now, and doing this, it makes me feel closer to them, my family. You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all love, not at all." He sealed his answer with a passionate kiss.

Christmas morning arrived far too early, as in it was still dark, pitch dark, no signs of dawn on the horizon, when Sirius and I were rudely awoken by Harry jumping onto our bed.

"Doggy, Ewwhie, it's morning, come on, it's Chwismas!"

I shifted, my head still groggy, and rubbed my belly. I had a rough time finding a comfortable position to sleep in, and I knew that I'd fallen asleep only a few hours ago. "Sirius, what time is it?" I felt his body shift.

"Four-thirty, sport can't we please go back to sleep for a little while?" he groaned.

"No, Doggy. I need to see if Fawer Chwismas come!" I knew that he was right. It wasn't fair to ask a two and a half year old to wait for Christmas morning.

"Okay, Harry, we'll get up. Go knock on Mus and Grace's door, but don't go rushing in there like you do with us," I warned him. I wasn't sure if they adhered to the pajamas rule or not, and I hated for Harry to go headlong into there, unsure of what he'd see.

Sirius got up and slid on his jeans and a jumper, and then leaned over and kissed me. "Happy Christmas, love."

"Happy Christmas to you too, darling. How about if you go down and put the kettle on? I'm going to use the loo and then I'll bring Harry down?"

"Sounds perfect," he uttered before he kissed me again and then left. Within minutes, I was being dragged down the stairs by my nephew, excitement oozing from his body. This was the first Christmas the Harry would really know what was going on, and again, I silently wished that Jamie were here to see it.

The pile of gifts for the toddler was nearly as tall as he was. I knew that Sirius had gone way overboard shopping for us, and Remus and Grace and been nearly as bad. In addition, there were gifts from Amelia, Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, Devon and his wife and to my surprise, a small package from Prentiss and the people in the lab. Harry tore into them with gusto. I had held back the box containing James first real broom from the pile. I wanted to be able to explain to him what it was, and show him the pictures of his daddy flying on it.

Within a hour, the entire sitting room was full of toys, clothes, books and discarded wrappings. His favorite gift had come from Grace, who had found him giant, stuffed Deer stag and doe. The stags rack spread wide, the doe had a sweet welcoming face, and the fur even had a red tinge to it. Harry had somehow gotten them up to his room, and set it so that they would watch him in his sleep. We'd told him that his Mummy and Daddy could send messages as a pair of deer, just like Sirius did with his dog and Remus did with his wolf.

"Where did you find them?" I asked while Harry was in his room.

"I had them made by a toy maker in Germany. I was able to explain exactly what I wanted, and I am pleased with the results."

"They're perfect, thank you," I got up and hugged her. "Here, this is for you," I said as I handed her the small box. I watched as she unwrapped and then opened the small hinged box. Her eyes went wide at the bracelet inside.

"Ellie, it's...this is too much," she complained.

"No, it's really not. Now, let me explain. That is from the Hightower vault, I got pieces out to give to you and Amelia and Molly this year. The bracelet is made of Emeralds and Garnets, which symbolize protection, faith, loyalty, strength and security in love."

"What's this then?" she asked as she fingered the little charm that hung down off of it.

"That's a Coyote made of Carnelian. It symbolizes a playful and mischievous friend. I thought that was most definitely you, Miss Grace and your basket of goodies," I said with an eye waggle.

"Thank you so much, Ellie. It's lovely," and she immediately had Remus help her put it on.

The adults continued to exchange gifts, as Harry had fallen back asleep on the couch. We got Harry up to eat lunch, and after, he promptly fell back to sleep. I wasn't sure if we were going to give him his broom or not today. Remus and Grace were finishing cleaning up from lunch, when Sirius pulled me back into the Lounge, and settled us into the leather chair by the fireplace.

"So, I have something special for you," he said, pulling a large package out from behind the chair. When he placed it in my lap, it was really heavy. "This is something that should have been yours years ago."

"What?" I couldn't figure out what he could mean.

"Lolly, love, just open it," he pleaded, and I did. As I ripped the paper away, I immediately recognized the book. I had seen it countless times as a small child, and had read it over and over as I grew older.

"Sirius, where did you...I thought that it was lost forever," I told him through my tears, opening it up, and tracing my hands over the handwritten text.

"Your mother had it, she'd been given it by her mother. She meant to give it to you on your eighteenth birthday, she just didn't live that long. After your father died, I went to go and look for it where your mother had told me it would be, but it wasn't there. I figured that James and Lily had moved it. A few days ago, after we celebrated Yule, I went back and basically looked everywhere, but I did finally unearth it in the attic. I knew that you should have it," he told me, pressing his lips to my cheek to kiss away my tears.

"Oh Sirius, it's," I turned and kissed him deeply.

"Wow, that must be some gift, he gave me earrings and I didn't give him any such thank you," Grace quipped from across the room. "Ellie, what is it!"

I gathered my thoughts, so that I could explain this. "This is the Maeve Book of Shadows. It's my families book of all of our created spells," I told them quietly. I was sure that they had no idea how much this meant to me.

"Your family created their own spells?" Remus said, sounding impressed.

"My grandmother had told me that her family never put much stock in the whole idea of relying upon your wand for your magic. The first one to write in it was Queen Maeve."

"You're descended from a Queen?" Grace asked, looking surprised. I nodded at her.

"How much of this have I told you over the years?" I asked Sirius.

"Bits," he answered, "but I'd love to hear it again." With his prompting, I decided to tell my family story.

"The story goes like this; Maeve was the daughter of the King of Ireland, and he married her off to one of the kings of a small kingdom. They didn't have a good marriage, and he was killed. She then married the one who bested her first husband, but he was jealous. She finally found her match in her third husband. Well, that's the legend. The truth was that she was more powerful than both of her first two husbands in her magic, and they wanted her killed. Her third mate really was an equal match, and together they had many children, whom she trained and taught.

When other parents started seeing how well her children were learning, and how proficient they were, they wanted their children taught as well, and Queen Maeve opened the first magical school in what would become all of the United Kingdom and Ireland. The Muggles have a story of her, about a battle having to do with cows or some such thing, but that was all a cover story for her protecting her students from Muggle villagers who did not understand. That's when she built her hidden castle on an island, in the sea.

When Hogwarts was built, her students went to study there, and Maeve was a teacher. She taught the kinds of spells that are written in this book, and encouraged the students to create their own. It was eventually called Old Magics.

The Muggle legend was that some wronged farmer or something hit her on the head with an apple and she drowned; but in reality, she simply slipped into the water, swam to her castle and died there. This book was continued by her daughter, as a way to remember her mother's teachings. The magic that can be done without wands and spells."

"Wait, you mean that there's magic that doesn't involve a wand? How does that work?" Grace asked, and I turned and looked at Sirius. I knew that he understood this, his family had a similar idea, they just used the spells for their own profit, rather than to help others. "It requires knowledge of the powers that things possess, and then combining them in the right ways. I knew more about potion making before I arrived at Hogwarts than nearly anyone, because I knew all the properties of the plants from studying this book. And this isn't weak magic, either. I would put my great, great grandmother Ainsley's protection bag up against anyone's _Protego _spell." I explained. I couldn't wait to read this again, this was my history, a link to the family that I so missed.

"Wow, can I look at it?" Grace asked and I handed her the book, with a knowing smile. "Wait a minute, I can't see anything written here." She handed it back to me.

"I know, it's protected so that the only people who can read it are those that belong to Maeve's line," I explained. "It frustrated Sirius to no end when we were younger, he couldn't figure out why I was spending so much time with a blank book."

"Well, then will Harry be able to read it?" Remus asked.

"Nope, Jamie never could. Apparently, it's for the women only. However, if I am carrying a daughter, she will be able to read it. As long as there is Queen Maeve's blood in her, then she can read it." I explained. I told them about some of the odder spells, like one to make a person hiccup for three weeks with no stop. Or the way to bless a fruit tree to keep the pests away from it.

We talked for a while longer, and I think that I may have dozed in Sirius lap for a few minutes. Remus and Grace excused themselves, saying that they wanted to rest. I reminded them that they snored loudly, so they should put up a Silencing Charm. Sirius and I engaged in some rather passionate snogging, until we heard a little voice on the stairs.

"Can't Aunt Ehwwie breawve Doggie?" We stopped kissing and looked at our godson.

"What?" I asked him, as I tried to wipe my mouth.

"You putting air in Aunt Ehwwie mouwf. Can't she breawve?"

"She's breathing just fine, sport. Come on, I think we should give Aunt Ellie and the baby the present we picked out, what do you say?" Sirius asked Harry and he jumped off the bottom step and started over toward the tree.

"I get it!" he cried. Harry retrieved a small box from behind the tree and brought it over. Harry climbed up into my lap and handed me the gift. He put his little hand on my belly, and I immediately felt the baby kick.

"Oh, Harry, the baby just kicked! Did you feel it?"

"Dhat was de baby?" He asked, sounding surprised. "I felwt it, I felwt it!"

"That's great buddy, let's see if pea lets Daddy feel too," Sirius said, pulling my shirt taught and laying his hand wide across my belly. We were all quiet for a minute, and then we were rewarded with a good strong kick. I rubbed the side of my belly, and felt myself tearing up, for the hundredth time today.

"Oh, Sirius. That's our baby in there, we felt it, we really felt it."

"We did Lolly, and look, our whole family is here together," he said, putting his other arm around Harry and holding us both tight.

"Aunt Ehwwie, open your pwesant," he said, again pushing the little box toward me. I unwrapped it, and looked at the box, it was from a jeweler that I didn't know.

"It's a Muggle jeweler, Ellie. I wanted something special, and I saw this in the window one day when Devon and I were out doing something for work, so I went and order it," he explained. I opened the box, and there were a silver bib clips, and on the clips were dogs, with the word "Black" engraved on their collars. "I know that they're old fashioned, and that we'd just use a Sticking Charm anyway, but I liked them, especially since I could have the babies last name put on them."

I reached up to stroke his face. "They're perfect, thank you." Then I quickly kissed him and then Harry. The baby rewarded us all with another swift kick.

"Doggy, why will the baby be bwack?"

"The baby won't be black, Harry," Sirius said.

"No, you said the baby name gonna be bwack," he told us adamantly.

"Oh, I understand. Yes, Harry, the baby is going to have the last name of Black, just like Doggy's last name," I explained to him.

"Harry a Potter," he said proudly. "Ehwwie be a Potter too?"

"Well, yes Harry, my last name is Potter now. You're right about that, but sweetie, when Aunt Ellie and Uncle Sirius get married, my name will be Black too," I explained, and Harry's little bottom lip started to tremble, and his eyes let fat tears roll down his cheeks.

"I not in your famiwy anymore?"

"No, sweetheart, you will always be in our family," I told him, but he still cried.

"You're our family, Harry. You're the big brother, remember?" Sirius tried to calm him as well.

"No, Harry a Potter and the baby a Bwack. I want to be a Bwack!" he demanded and Sirius and I looked at him.

"Harry, honey, just because you don't have the same last name, doesn't mean that you're not part of our family. We're a family because love each other, not because we have the same last name," I explained.

"Weaweys have the the dame wast name. It's Inny Weawey not somefing ewse," he told us through his tears.

"Yes, all of the Weasley's have the same last name, but honey, their love makes them a family, just like it makes us a family." I told him, he didn't seem to care. He scampered off my lap.

"I want to be a Bwack! I want to be part of famiwy!" He yelled before he took off for the stairs, nearly knocking Grace over in the process.

"Oh, Sirius, what are we going to do?" I asked as I laid my head down on his chest.

We were invited to the Weasleys for Christmas Dinner, and we got Harry dressed in his holiday finery, but he was still sullen and stubborn. It made me understand the term "terrible twos". When we got through the floo, Arthur picked Harry up and threw him in the air, making him laugh. I was relieved to hear it.

"So, Harry, did you get everything you want for Christmas?" Arthur asked him. Harry shook his head. "What didn't you get?"

"I wanna be a Bwack, but Ehwwie and Doggie said no." Harry saw Ginny, and squirmed himself from Arthur's grasp, while all of the adults stood in the kitchen looking at each other.

"He thinks that since we're all going to Black's next year, after the baby gets here, that he won't be part of the family. We tried to explain it to him, but..." I sighed as I explained it.

"That's a long time off dear," Molly said, putting a hand on my back. "Come on, let's celebrate today and worry about that tomorrow. Arthur has his Celestina Warbeck show on the wireless," she told me, and I looked at Sirius and rolled my eyes. My father had loved her too, and every year we had to endure her warbling as we ate our Christmas Dinner. I dreaded that this year would be the same.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17:**

**What did you say?**

"Ellie, you've been reading that book for the last three months, put it down already, please," Sirius begged me. We were in bed, I had my family's Book of Shadows propped up on the baby, who kept kicking at it. I felt his arm snake around me, under the huge baby bump that I now had, while the other one went to unbutton my nightgown. Sirius was just enthralled with my pregnant bosom. I figured that I'd let him enjoy them while he could, because once the baby was here, he wasn't going to want anything to do with them, at least not while I was still feeding pea. I figured I would play with him for a few minutes here, before I gave into his advances.

"I really just want to reacquaint myself with the magic in here," I told him, completely ignoring what his fingers were doing right now, and trying very hard to keep my breathing even. "This is my history, my lineage. If I don't know how to do this magic, it could be lost."

He had freed my left breast from my nightgown completely, and was swirling tongue along the peak, while his hand had slipped into the fabric, and his fingers were mimicking the ministrations of his mouth. This was going to be a loosing battle in moments.

"Ellie, my love," he whispered, before his tongue rolled the tip of my breast, "put the book down." I closed my eyes and groaned and closed the book and let is slide from my lap, onto the floor beside the bed. Sirius hovered over me, looking at me with such desire that I forgot to breathe for a second. My body immediately reacted, he didn't even need to touch me, and I could feel my gut beginning to wind itself tightly.

His lips met mine, and I completely surrendered to him. We'd discovered in recent weeks that we could touch each other, completely touch each other, without any caterwauling going on. This baby was such a gift, before they were even born. The only reason that we hadn't had sex was that it was suggested that we refrain by my Muggle doctor, something being short or not thick enough. The Healer told me that everything was charmed to hold together, so I wasn't going to worry about it. But once Sirius heard that, and was adamant that we not go against doctor's orders.

I felt his hands remove my gown, and then his teeth removed my knickers. As he snaked his way back up my body, his lips left a trail of kisses, including several open mouthed ones that made me moan. I slid my hands into his pajama pants, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and ripped them from his body. I kissed him passionately as my hands wrapped around him and I brought him pleasure. When he had recovered, he re-payed the favor, leaving me loose and breathless. We laid together a tangle of sweaty, warm limbs. His fingers were stroking patterns on my belly, watching the baby move around. Our activities had awoken pea.

"You know, we're going to have to come up with a name for this sweet pea here," he said as he fingered what appeared to be a foot crossing just below my belly button.

"I know, but...I have no good ideas. We can't use your name if it's a boy, because having two Sirius' in the house would just be confusing. Most of the Potter and Hightower names are so formal. I've got nothing," I confessed.

"We could name the baby after James or Lily or both?" he suggested, but I turned my nose up at that idea as well.

"I thought of that, but can you imagine how Harry would feel, growing up with a sibling that's named after his dead mother or father? I've also tried combining their names, but, Jaily or Limes just sound stupid! I don't know, maybe we'll figure it out when we meet pea," I said, feeling just a little hopeless over the whole thing.

"Hey, since we've already been calling them pea, how about Peony?" I just looked at Sirius. "Yeah, it sounded bad as soon as it left my mouth."

"Well, sounds like a research project. Perhaps we can put Remus onto it, he can come up with names for the baby!" I joked and we both had a good laugh at it. Sirius stopped and was staring at me. "Five weeks, you know that. We have five weeks until our baby will be here." He cradled me against him, lovingly kissing my brow and my face. "I don't think that I have ever seen you look more beautiful." I snorted at him.

"Yeah, I look like there's a pumpkin stuffed under my skin there, and I have gas all the time and my feet are swollen and I sort of waddle now. Oh, yes Sirius, I am absolutely beautiful," I joked. In response, he got up on his elbows and took my face in his hands.

"All of that, it's nothing, your beauty has nothing to do with your body. You are beautiful because you love me, because you're carrying our baby and because you want a life with me. I love you for the amazing woman you are," he told me, his voice full of conviction, and it brought tears to my eyes. "I love you, Ellie Potter, forever."

"I love you too, Sirius Black, and I always will." We laid together, my back to his chest. One hand twined with mine, the other holding onto my belly. I fell asleep in the arms of my beloved, thinking of another night that we were twined up together.

"_Ellie, what are you still doing down here?" Jamie asked me. I was laying on the couch with Sirius. I had finished my reading for Transfigurations class two days ago, he was cramming for our nine o'clock class tomorrow. I knew that animal transfigurations would be on the OWL in the spring, so I made him study._

"_Resting," I grouched back at Jamie. Sirius was stretched out on the couch that I had magically enlarged, and I was lying between his legs, my head resting on his thigh. His left hand was playing with my hair and the right one was turning the pages in the book that he'd charmed to hover in the air. We'd thrown an afghan over the top of me to keep me warm, and Sirius kept stroking the fire with his wand to make sure that it would keep going._

"_Ellie, get off Sirius and go up to bed," Jamie tried to order me. I cocked one eyebrow open at him._

"_Jamie, I will go up to bed when Sirius is done. I promised him that I would help him get ready for Transfigurations in the morning. Go to bed," I told him._

"_Well at least take that damned blanket off, it looks like you're doing something improper there." Now he was making me mad._

"_Jamie, we are both dressed here," I started and then Sirius piped up._

"_James, mate, I'm nearly done. Let me say good night to Ellie and I'll make sure she goes to bed. Go on up, I'll be there in a few," Sirius told him and Jamie huffed off. I had half a mind to hex him on his way out of the room, but it would only elicit another note from Mum reminding me that if I wanted my brother to treat me like an equal, I needed to act like one. Once Jamie was really gone, Sirius ran his fingers over my cheek._

"_I didn't think he was ever going to leave us alone," he confessed and I nodded against him. "I was afraid you might hex him."_

"_I considered it. How much more do you have to read there? I really am getting tired and falling asleep on McGonagall in the morning will not be good for my grades."_

"_I was done twenty minutes ago, I just liked the way you felt there, and, you know, your brother was here." Sirius reached for the book and set it down on the floor next to him. He then grabbed the afghan, and pushed me down on my back, covering my body with his and then covering us both with the knitted blanket._

"_So, this is how you're going to make sure I get up to bed and get some sleep?" I teased him, his face reflecting in the firelight. He stopped and just stared at me, and his gaze made me weak._

"_You are so beautiful, Lolly," his hands brushing the hair away from my face. "So, so beautiful. I..." I thought I knew what he was going to say, and my heart began to race. I was so afraid to hope for this, because I knew that it was what I felt, but I wasn't sure if he felt it too. "I...I love you." I could feel the smile start in the middle of my mouth and spread outward, like honey covering my morning toast, until my whole face was smiling at him. _

"_I love you too," I uttered back. It was the first time that we said those words to each other. Sirius kissed me harder than he ever had before, like the words had unleashed something in him. I would have stayed there all night, except that he was afraid what my brother would say when he woke up with Sirius bed still made, obviously un-slept in. It was quite late when I crept up to my room and quickly got ready for bed. As I was sliding into my sheets I heard Grace whisper, "Way to go, Ellie." I knew that we'd have a whole lot to talk about over breakfast._

Morning was my least favorite time of day. I was always stiff and sore because there was no good way to sleep when you're eight months pregnant. I sort of waddled down the stairs, the little brown box in my hand as I steadied myself on the banister. I rounded the corner to the kitchen, and found Grace, Remus and Harry already sitting at the table.

"Can you take this in with you today?" I asked as I handed her the box, and then went to the stove to put together my morning herbal tea. I couldn't figure out why they were calling this stuff tea, it didn't taste anything like it. As I set it to steep, I kissed Harry who returned the favor with a strawberry jam laden one. As I wiped my face, I heard my friend clear her throat.

"Ellie, I..." Grace hesitated. "I don't agree with you doing this. I don't think that it's safe." Grace and I had gone round about with this.

"If you don't want to do it, I'll call Amelia or Linda to do it for me," I threatened, but I was quite sure that their reaction would be even stronger than Grace's had been.

"They're not going to be any happier about it. Have you told Sirius or even Remus what you're doing?" I gave her a dirty look.

"No, because I'm an adult and I can make my own choices," I snipped back. Just then a wooden spoon went flying through the air and knocked Grace in the arm. "See, even the baby doesn't like that you're upsetting me."

"Honestly," Grace said as she picked the spoon up from the floor and tossed it in the sink. "That baby has a worse temper than you and Sirius combined." She crossed the floor and came to stand in front of me. "I just don't think that it's safe, that's all."

"Someone want to clue me in on what's going on?" Remus asked. I looked at him and then gave Grace another dirty look. I huffed in frustration and then began.

"I've been sending Rosemund little care packages."

"You're what!" a voice yelled from behind me, and it mirrored Remus' shocked face. I turned and looked at Sirius, who not only looked surprised, he looked angry. "You're sending that crazy, conniving, insane bitch presents?" Sirius was yelling. I looked over at Harry who appeared downright terrified of his godfather right now.

"Sirius, not in front of Harry," I pleaded with him. I turned my attention back to Harry. "It's okay sweetheart, Uncle Sirius is just upset at Aunt Ellie right now, but we're going to talk about this like adults," I said pointedly at Sirius, "aren't we?" Sirius gave me a curt nod.

"Yeah, buddy, sorry that I yelled."

"O..o..okay, Doggy," the toddler said quietly, and went back to his toast and juice.

"How about if we sit down and talk about this. I think when you listen to me, you'll find I'm not so crazy here." We all sat down, and my hands went to my belly, to give it a good soothing rub, as the baby was moving all over now. I took a deep breath and started to explain. "I've been sending Rosemund little care packages, about once a week, for nearly a month. I wrap them in plain brown wrap and print her name in large block letters on the front. Grace takes it in to the Ministry and sends it through the post office there, using a Ministry owl. There is absolutely no way that it can get traced back to me, I promise."

"Okay, well, you've taken precautions," Sirius begrudgingly allowed, "but I don't understand why. She's...Ellie she tormented me and apparently tried to curse me into having a child with her. Why would you be sending her things?" He looked so hurt, and this wasn't something that I had considered when I started doing this. I suddenly felt very guilty for hurting him, but I really did feel that what I was doing was important.

"While I was going through my book, I found a letter that my grandmother Hightower had written to me on the day that I was born. She was the eldest of our line at the time, so it was her duty to welcome me into the family. Sirius, the letter was telling me that I would be strong and wise and that I could do anything that I wanted in my life -- as long as I set my heart to it," I explained. The letter said much more, but it wasn't relevant now.

"My whole life, I was told that I could be anything, do anything, as long as it was what I wanted. My parents didn't make me a betrothal, because they wanted me to have anything that I desired. I wanted to be a Potions Master, and I'm not only one, but I'm an International Standard one. I knew that I loved you, and I wanted to be with you, so I found a way. There hasn't been anything that I desired in life that I did not work to find a way to attain. Rosemund wasn't so lucky."

"But Ellie, why would you be sending her things?" Remus asked, concern written all over his face.

"She was nine when her betrothal was set. She was told that she was to marry Sirius, and that being his wife would be her accomplishment in life. Her worth to her family was her marrying well. Then, she gets married, and there is a financial reward given to her if she can produce an heir. Her worth was as a producer of a baby. No where in here was she told that she was worthy for just being her. I guess..." I hesitated, because I hadn't even said this next part to myself, even through in my heart of hearts I knew it was true. "I guess I feel sorry for her."

"I don't believe it," Sirius muttered, his hands raking through his hair. "How could you feel sorry for her, after everything that she's done?"

"Sirius, she's out of her mind. She's sick, I mean really, she's been living with your Mum for the last nearly five years. As you well know, that's enough to make anyone a little daft. You escaped to Jamie's house or up to the cabin; Rosemund had nowhere to go. I just...I think if she's been given other chances in life, she might be a very different person."

"Ellie, it's a very generous and kind thing that you're doing," Grace said, "so very like you; but honey, what if she figures out that they're from you?"

"I don't see how she could. There's nothing on the box to distinguish that it came from me, and the items inside are quite generic," I explained.

"So, what have you been sending her?" Sirius asked, sounding resigned to my activities.

"Well, this one has some lotion, and a few chocolates from Honeydukes and a pair of warm socks. Not exactly contraband," I spelled out. We all sat there looking at each other for another minute, and finally the silence was broken by Harry knocking over his cup and spilling his pumpkin juice all over his high chair. I attempted to bend over and pick the cup up from off the floor while Remus cleaned up the mess, and I couldn't bend over far enough to reach the floor. I didn't have my wand on me, as I was still in my dressing gown, so I couldn't even summon it. "Um, a little help here, please."

Everyone started laughing when they saw me trying to reach the darned cup, and thankfully Sirius came over, picked up the cup and handed it to me, and then wrapped his arms around me, once I had successfully gotten myself upright again.

"You know that I love you, right?" he asked and I nodded. "I just want you and pea to be safe, okay? My family means everything to me."

"Me too, right Doggy?" Harry chirped from his high chair, and Sirius lifted him out and threw him up in the air.

"Of course, you too Harry. We're a family, and we always will be."

"Good, I lub you Doggy, I lub you Ehwwie," he told us, laying his little head down on Sirius shoulder.

"We love you to, sweetheart. Now, Uncle Sirius and Grace need to get going to work. How about you and Mus and I walk into town and get some chocolates for the baby, and some for some cookies? How does that sound?"

"Yeah, we gonna bake cookies! I go get dwessed!" He yelled as he threw himself down from Sirius arms and headed back upstairs.

"Goodness, I wish I had that energy," I sighed and sat down. Grace and Sirius left and once Remus and I were dressed for the day, we walked the short distance into town, going to the small general store there for chocolates and more eggs. We ran into Molly who was surprised that I was out and walking, but I assured her that I was feeling fine. We got Harry a few little things that he was needing as he was outgrowing his clothes so quickly, and then headed home.

After we baked cookies and ate lunch, I went to work in my lab. There was a variation that I wanted to try, and I was hopeful that it would work. I wrote all the calculations down and then double checked the formulation. I started brewing my curse repairing potion again, from the beginning, for what felt like the millionth time. The early steps of this brew were as well known to me as brewing a simple Calming Draught, and yet, the end of it was such a mystery. As I started, I thought back to the first time that I tried to make it.

"_Professor," I called to Professor Slughorn as NEWT potions was ending one day. It was mid-January, and we'd gone to visit Sirius' parents while we were home on break. We were both still sporting rather red scars from his mother's reception of us._

"_Why Ellie, dear, what can I do for you?"_

"_I was wondering if I could come down and work on a potion in the lab one evening this week?"_

"_Of course, my dear; but honestly, you and Lily really don't need any more practice. I've never seen a better Veritaserum brewed by students before. Now your brother and his best mate, there is another matter," he told me and I nodded at him._

"_I don't think that either Jamie or Sirius are natural Potions makers," I confessed, although I thought that if they spent more time actually trying to make their potions rather than torment Severus, they'd both be doing well._

"_I believe you're right dear. Now what is it that you want to work on?"_

"_Um, well, I've been working on a new formulation..." I started, but the portly potions master stopped me._

"_Oh, another one of your own creations," he said delighted. "By all means, if this one turns out as well as the last one...why Ellie Potter, you're on your way to being a rather famous potions master, and I can say I knew you when. Use whatever you need, and if there are supplies that you require that aren't easily available, let me know. Always happy to help a student." I wanted to retch at his fake sincerity, but I needed his help now, so I held my true emotions back._

"_Thank you sir, I'll be back after supper."_

"_Yes, yes, dear. Tap your wand on the knob three times and it will open for you." I nodded and turned and left, wanting to do some computations before supper._

A hand on my shoulder surprised me, and I jumped and yelled when I felt it.

"Easy there, Lolly," Sirius said "I didn't realize you hadn't heard me come in."

"Sorry, you frightened me," I explained as I leaned up to kiss him hello. "What are you doing home?"

"El, sweetie, it's after five," he told me with a slight laugh in his voice. "Grace has been calling to you, but you didn't answer. We were afraid that you'd passed out in here or something."

"Oh, I was ..."

"Let me guess, you've put your potion on to brew again?" He sounded frustrated at me for it. "I'm worried about you working on this while you're so very pregnant."

"Sirius, I haven't blown up a cauldron since I was fourteen."

"That may be, but what about fumes? Are all of the ingredients safe? Lolly, love, I just don't want anything happening to you and the baby." He'd become very overprotective in the last weeks.

"I asked the Healer, and it's fine. This will be the last brew before the baby is born. I read something in my book that made me want to try adding one different ingredient, to see if I can keep the thing from inverting. I am so close Sirius, I know it. Just a little more work and I will have it."

"Ellie, you've been working on it for four years...maybe..."

"Maybe what? Maybe I can't do it? This is my life's work Sirius..." I was getting very angry at him as he interrupted me.

"I know, but, this potion, you're obsessed with it. Maybe curse burns aren't meant to be completely erased? I'm sure that there are other things that need to be researched as well. Maybe it's time to move on?"

I stood up, tears falling down my face. "I can't believe that you feel this way! I'm doing this for you, so that those scars on your chest will finally heal! And this is how you repay me?" I ran from the room and went upstairs, locking myself in our bedroom. I couldn't figure out what I was doing anymore. I didn't recognize myself, or the life that I was leading. I lived in a house with my godson, my married lover and the father of the illegitimate child that I was carrying, a werewolf and his girlfriend. This certainly wasn't the life that I had dreamed of as a child, and I wasn't sure that it was the life I wanted for Harry and the baby right now. My work is what had sustained me through the dark years, my work was all that I had to show for my life. I knew that there had to be a way to cure curse burns, I just had to figure out what was missing from the brew.

"Shit," I muttered when I realized that I had run out of there without putting the potion into stasis. I grabbed a piece of paper from the secretary that was in the room and wrote Remus a quick note, asking him to do the charms and to seal my lab up. I then turned it into a bird and opened the door and let it fly downstairs. I closed and resealed the door and laid down for a nap. I didn't care if I'd eaten or not, I was just so tired. I wrapped my arms around my belly and hugged the baby, and allowed my sleep to come.

"_Sirius, I'm not sure about this," I whispered to him as we walked into his parents house. We hadn't been here since our argument with Mr. Black almost a year and a half ago. We'd been avoiding them since the disclosure was made about our doing the rite. We'd heard from Regulus and Rosemund just how upset his parents had been at him. We were hoping that time and my father's promises of financial compensation had softened them. Time was running out, Sirius only had six months before he was to wed._

_We had spent the holidays at Sirius flat, the one that he had purchased with the money his Uncle Alaphard had left him. It was a large open space, up on the third floor, with lots of windows. I loved that you could hear the sounds of London when the windows were open. It was a Muggle place, but that didn't bother us; it afforded us more privacy and we were less likely to run into any other pureblood Wizards or Witches this way. I don't think that my parents were pleased that we weren't home, but Lily being there and making wedding plans seems to have taken the heat off of us._

"_Lolly, it will be fine, I promise. They've had a year to calm down. We just need to talk with them, get them to see," he told me, and I still felt like we were walking toward our own hanging._

"_Love, calm is not a word that I would ever use to describe your Mum, or you Dad. I think we should just leave this to my father and his solicitors," I begged. Sirius turned to look at me, and I knew that the fear I was feeling was being broadcast on my face. We were about to turn and leave when a ear splitting screech was heard. _

"_What are you doing here?" Mrs. Black yelled, and I heard myself whimper at her screaming. "Why did you bring that tart into my home?" Walburga was at the top of the stairs, dressed in formal dress robes that looked slightly faded and uncared for. I thought that it was odd, given we were there in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. There weren't any balls tonight, and even if there were, it was too early to get dressed. I was lost in my thoughts until I heard Sirius yelling back at his mother._

"_Mother, you will not call Ellie such things. She is my Heart-tied Beloved and will one day be my wife. We've come to talk with you about this arrangement," he spat the word out, "with Rosemund. I know that Mr. Potter has offered to pay all reparations, please, break the betrothal."_

"_You, worthless, spineless, blood traitor. How dare you presume to know what is best for you, you are but a child. Sirius, this is how it's done, you will marry whom we tell you to, and you will produce an heir with her. It is your duty as the eldest male!" She yelled at us, and I ducked behind Sirius. She was getting quite angry, and the air seemed to be crackling with magic._

"_I WILL NOT, MOTHER! What is it with you and our damned last name? We're not royalty, we're a really fucked up family, Mummy! All of our adherence to the ancient customs -- it's sick! I want nothing to do with it!" Sirius yelled at her, and while I was more than happy to support his ideals here, doing it in front of her made me nervous. His mother was not stable!_

_Time seemed to be moving slower now. I watched as Walburga slid her wand from the pocket of her robes and aim it at her sons heart. There was malice in her eyes and a sneer pasted across her mouth. She let out the most hideous cackle as she fired the curse at her son. A second later Sirius clothes had been burned away and there was a deep, angry welt across his chest. He tumbled to the ground, and I fell with him, pulling my wand and trying to remember the counter spell to stop the burning. _

_Another curse hit him, this time slashing him across his lower abdomen. I was terrified that she really was going to kill her own son. I turned to her, "Stop it, you're killing him!"_

"_Splendid, then you shall be next and the whole mess will be over with, won't it Eleanor Hightower Potter. You had such promise, a female child at the juncture of two powerful houses. You're quite a witch, aren't you Eleanor," she taunted. "You could have been so much more, if you'd only embraced your pureblood heritage," she threw her head back and laughed. "Why someone with such bloodlines was wasted on the Potter family I will never know. Perhaps," she said, and I could tell that something was crossing her mind. "Perhaps there is a way to harness all of that pureblood power dear. I'll just keep you here, and let my dear little Reggie have his way with you. Produce me an heir, a good pureblood heir, the juncture of three lines, and I'll think about letting you go." I looked at her, and saw her for the deranged, patricidal maniac that she is. "First, however, we need to get rid of that waste of a blood traitor that I bore."_

_She raised her wand again, and took aim at Sirius. I heard her cast the spell, and put up the best shield spell that I could, hoping that it would be enough. Defense was not my subject. The curse rebounded and hit the wall, filling the room with smoke and dust. I knew that was my chance, I needed to get Sirius out of this house as soon as I could. I levitated him, and made my way toward the door, knowing that once I had him out in the park I could apparate us to St. Mungo's._

"_Don't think that this is over, Eleanor!" Another curse was coming at us, and I pushed Sirius out the door. The curse contacted with my arm, and it was like my entire body was on fire. The pain was overwhelming, and I could feel little shocks going off up and down my arm. I screamed out in pain, but I kept moving forward. We just had to get outside, and out of the ward for this damned creepy house._

_Sirius had tumbled down the stairs when I pushed him out, he was bleeding still and had gone unconscious. I stumbled over to him, grabbed him under his arms and pulled him out onto the sidewalk. I knew that the ward ended at the stairs. As quickly as I could I apparated us to St. Mungo's. I don't know how I managed it, but I got us to the trauma department, and I screamed, "Help me!"_

"Help Me! Somebody help me!" But no one was coming, and then there was an explosion and Sirius was in front of me.

"Ellie, Ellie, wake up. Please honey, wake up. What's wrong? Is it the baby? Ellie, talk to me," he was yelling and shaking me and my breathing was rapid and I felt flushed.

"Dream, um, bad dream," I mumbled as I figured out what was going on. Tears started falling and I just reached out and held onto Sirius. "It was...oh, Sirius," I sobbed.

"Ellie, honey, is the baby okay?" I heard Grace asking as she lifted my shirt to cast a spell over my belly. "Everything looks okay. Ellie, honey what happened?"

I was still shaking against Sirius, it felt so real. I hadn't thought about that day in years. "I had a nightmare..." I said before I had to take a few more deep breaths, "about the day you almost died."

"Oh, Ellie, that was so long ago," Sirius cooed into my hair. "See, I'm here, I'm just fine. So are you, and so if little pea. Everyone is fine."

"I wanna see Ehwwie," I heard a little voice yell from the hall. "She scweam, I need to see Ehwwie!"

"It's okay, Remus," I heard Sirius yell, and immediately there were little feet on the floor, running toward us.

"Ehwwie, you okay?" Harry asked as he scrambled up onto the bed, worming his way between Sirius and I.

"I'm fine sweetheart, I just had a nightmare while I was taking my nap," I told him and he took my face between his little hands.

"I swing to you, make you better. Lawbender blue, diwwy diwwy, lawbender gween. When I am Kwing, diwwy, diwwy, you be my keen," he sang to me, out of tune and getting the words sort of right. It was the perfect thing to calm me down. He finished the rest of the song, and I was feeling better.

"Thank you, Harry, that was very helpful," I sort of choked out. "Did you save me any of those cookies?"

"Oh, deres wots! I onwy ate twee."

"Three cookies, my goodness, you must have eaten a good supper. Did you leave me any?" I asked and he nodded at me.

"Mus said I had to weave your pie awone." I looked up at Remus for clarification.

"I made chicken pie, and I told him that he had to leave yours alone, he would have eaten it as well I think. Why don't I go and heat up your dinner, and make us all some hot chocolate to have with the rest of those cookies before bed?"

"That sounds good, thank you," I told them, and I watched as Remus picked up Harry and carried him out, Grace trailing behind, then I looked at our bedroom door. It was blown off the hinges.

"You blew the door down?"

"I can fix it, and you'd locked me out," he explained. "You're sure that you're okay?" Sirius asked, his face lined with concern.

"I am, it was just a nightmare, Sirius. I promise." I leaned to kiss him, but he pulled away.

"What happened down in your lab earlier? You got really upset at me, over...?" he did seem confused. I knew I needed to talk with him about his dismissal of my work, but I didn't have the energy to do it right now.

"How about if we chock it up to pregnancy hormones, and leave it there, please?" He nodded and slid off the bed, offering me his hand. I got up and straightened out my clothes as his hand come to rest on pea.

"Pea's active tonight," he said and I nodded. "Hello in there pea, it's Daddy, sorry Mummy scared you, but everything is alright out here. You keep growing, and we can't wait to meet you," he added and then he bent down and kissed the bump.

"You know, this baby is going to get whatever they want. They've already got you wrapped around their little finger," I teased, and he lifted my hand.

"Just like their Mummy," he added before he kissed my palm, and curled my fingers around it.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18:**

**In the Cards**

The next few days passed easily, and I forgave Sirius for his unintended slip on my work when he brought me home a basket of new potion making supplies as well as a basket of bath salts and lotions from the new shop in town that sold beautiful soaps, lotions and other items to pamper yourself with. I had been in several times, and Sirius brought home my favorites, and insisted that he draw me a bath. It was wonderful, smelling like lilacs and sandalwood. The water was perfectly warm and as I eased my body in, I could feel the tension just sliding off of me. I was also quite pleased as Sirius got in with me, sitting across from me in the big clawed foot tub. He lifted my left foot and began to rub it. I let out a groan that sounded more like he was massaging something other than my foot.

"How about if I just stay here until I deliver this baby?" I asked him.

"Um, Lol, while I am sure that you would feel better if you did that, I don't think that you'd like the water after a day or so, you do have to get up and use the toilet..."

"Ew," I interrupted him as I splashed him with my other foot. "Sirius, love that was...ew."

"Just being honest, love. Haven't learned those charms, have you?" I looked at him puzzled and then figured out that he was talking about the body cleansing charms that they did in the hospital. I made a face at him, like I was smelling something putrid, and decided to change the subject.

"Sirius, love, what do you know about blood line junctures?" I queried.

"Not much, I didn't pay attention when my Mother would go on and on about the strength of the Black family line, and how important we were and how we needed to breed with other important families. She did use the word breed, made the whole thing sound so, calculated. It was after one of her speeches, once I had met you and your whole family and saw how normal people behaved around their family, that I decided my Mum was wrong," he explained. "Why are you asking?"

"Um, just...it's nothing. I was just wondering, you know, because I've got both Potter and Hightower blood and magic and you've got a whole lot of Black family blood and magic going on there," I teased him because I knew that it grossed him out that his parents were also cousins. "I guess, I was just wondering what it would mean for the baby."

"Ellie, honey, it doesn't mean anything. Look at Lily, she was a darned powerful witch, and her whole family is Muggle. Don't worry about it, I'm sure that it is nothing," he told me, slipping my foot back into the warm water and then lifting the other one out.

"Yeah, I guess that you're right," I told him, letting him brush the subject away, but I really needed to research it. When we began to wrinkle, we got out of the tub, and I threw on a loose set of robes and a pair of Sirius' socks. I had no desire to stuff my poor feet into shoes. He was working a late shift tonight, so he left mid afternoon, promising to be home by midnight. I took the opportunity to slip downstairs into the study and pull out several books that we had there on the subject. I never really understood why my parents had these books, since neither of them adhered to the notions of anything to do with pureblood power or the like, but when I looked at the publishing dates, I realized that they wouldn't have purchased them. Thankfully, they were ever updating tomes, like the Hogwarts History book.

The ones that I knew that I would need were Pureblood Preeminence and Making the Match: Optimizing your bloodlines Betrothal. I also grabbed Nature's Nobility, although I doubted that I needed that. I knew that the Hightower line would be in there, since it only ever cared about the male family members. As my grandmother reminded me, it was the females that had the real power and knowledge in our family. I sat down on the lounge couch and opened the books, desperately searching for what I needed. Remus was in the kitchen, making dinner with his little helper, Harry. I could hear them laughing and Remus teaching him while they worked. He was so good with Harry, I hoped that he would one day have his own child.

What I found in the books, especially in Making the Match, made me uneasy. I'd never put much stock in this stuff, maybe because my parents had never paid any attention to it; or maybe because my best friend was Muggle born; but now, it was making me uncomfortable. I rubbed my belly, suddenly worried about the child that I was carrying. I was so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear Grace come in.

"Ellie, hey, are you okay?" she asked, as she came to sit on the end of the couch, across from me.

"Oh, sorry, Grace," I told her, "I was lost in thought." She lifted the books and was looking at the titles, and then looked at me, cocking her eyebrow. "You suddenly worried about making a good match, or are you planning one for Harry? Because you, if you are, I would say it had better be with little Ginny. Those two are quite connected to each other already." I let myself smile and relax at her joke.

"No, I have no intention of setting a betrothal for Harry. Gracie, can I ask a favor of you?"

"Sweetheart, you can ask me anything, except getting into bed with you and Sirius or you joining Remus and I. Never found the three way that exciting, always left feeling that the other two were far too interested in each other..." she muttered, looking at something that wasn't there. I felt slightly stunned that she'd told me that, which caused me to shake my head that it was possible for Grace to still shock me after all these years.

"I'm just going to forget that you told me that," I confirmed. "No, it has nothing to do with sex, thank you very much. It does have to do with Divination."

"I always thought that you believed it to be bunk?" she asked. It was true, I hadn't put much stock in it while we were in school, far more interested in Potions and Herbology that telling the future.

"I did," I explained, "I do really, however, there's something...Grace can I tell you something that I haven't even told Sirius?"

"Of course, honey. Roommates always keep their secrets. What's up?"

"The nightmare that I had the other night, it was about the day that Mrs. Black cursed Sirius and I," I told her.

"Honey, that's no secret from Sirius, he was there."

"No, not that part," I paused and looked at her. I wrung my hands together and wondered how I was going to say this. "After she cursed Sirius, and he was down on the floor hurt, she started to taunt me. I never told him this, because it didn't seem to important, but..."

"But what, Ellie?" Grace pleaded.

"Grace, she threatened to keep, to lock me up, to let Regulus..." I stopped and shook my head. "To let him breed with me, against my will. She wanted us to have a child because it would have been the juncture of three bloodlines and I never paid much attention to it, but the damned goblin at the bank said the same thing, and I just can't help but worry about the baby." I let the words tumble out of me, once I got talking, I just kept going.

"Ellie, what did the goblin say?" Grace asked, a very worried look on her face.

"He told me...that the baby would be powerful...and highly prized," I confessed.

"What did Sirius say? Wasn't he with you?"

"I don't think that he heard the comment. Grace, please, could you just to a reading for me? Make sure that baby isn't going to be...look after everything that happened with Harry and this damned prophecy and...He who shall not be named, I just want to make sure that our child is okay," I begged her once again. She nodded in response.

"After we eat dinner, I'll do a quick reading, okay?" I reached over and hugged her.

"Thank you."

I wasn't in much of a mood for eating, and I simply picked at my dinner. Remus tried to question me, but I watched as Grace laid a hand on his arm and gently shook her head. I couldn't believe how well she had him controlled already. Thankfully, Harry chatted brightly through dinner, talking about the things that he wanted to plant in the garden this summer. We had also started working on recognizing his numbers, letters and colors. He announced that he wanted to be able to read before Ron, which made me smile. I could see that their friendship would inspire a healthy sense of competition in him as he grew.

I took Harry upstairs and gave him his bath and then read to him when it was time for bed. He was snuggled up against me, smelling all clean, his hair soft from being freshly washed. He had his little hand on my belly and was talking to the baby.

"Hi baby, it's Harwy," he said, his pronunciation getting better every day, "I your big browher, I can't wait to see you." Just then the baby gave my side a good swift kick.

"Oh, did you feel that," I asked him excitedly, and he nodded enthusiastically. "The baby can hear you and I think that meant they can't wait to meet you too."

"Yeah!" he cheered. "I wish I could see baby."

"I know honey, but it's only a few more weeks. Did you like the way we painted the baby's room?" We'd finished the nursery a few days ago. It was painted a nice soft green and it was decorated with baby farm animals. Harry had helped me pick out which ones we should draw on the walls.

"Yes, but I lost my fiwing room," he said sadly.

"I know, sweetheart, but the baby needs somewhere to sleep too. The weather is getting warmer, so you can fly outside, okay?"

"Uh huh," he said still sounding sad.

"Harry, do you think it's a boy or a girl baby?"

"Well," he said as he scrunched his little face up, "I would like it to be a boy, so we could play togewer, but I think it a girl. Ron can kiss her hand."

"I'm not sure that Ron would want to kiss her hand, honey. I have an idea, how about if you go with me tomorrow to see the Healer, and you can hear the baby's heartbeat, and then you can ask him if it's a boy or a girl. Would you like that?"

"Yes!" he cheered again.

"But you'll have to keep it a secret, okay? Can you do that?" I knew that he couldn't, and it was fine. Sirius was dying to know if it was a boy or a girl, I'd let Harry break the news to him.

"I can, I prowmise," he said, holding his little hands up.

"Well, if you're going to go with me into London tomorrow, you need to get a good night's sleep sweet one. Go on, cuddle down into your bed and I'll sing for a few minutes." Harry complied and I sang him two verses of his lullaby, and then he was fast asleep.

I crept from his room and still had several hours before Sirius would be home. I found Grace in the kitchen, the small pine box that she held her cards in was in front of her.

"Where's Remus?" I asked her.

"He's in the study, reading," she told me. "You sure you want me to do this?"

"Yes, I'm quite sure."

"Okay, cards, tea leaves or palm?"

"Cards, I need to know not only about me, but about this baby. Hopefully, you'll be able to dispel my fears, and all of this will be behind me. I just...I can't shake this feeling that something bad is about to happen," I explained.

"You sure you don't have any seer blood in you? I've always understood that it was the gut that gave you the first indication that there was something wrong," she teased.

"There are no seers in my family, I am quite sure of it. Okay, let's do this," I said as I blew all of my breath out.

I was stunned as I walked back upstairs to the bedroom that I shared with Sirius. What she found when she read me was so much worse than what I had imagined. Grace had tried to remind me that readings were imperfect, and that the future, especially the future can change based on the actions that people take. I told her that I knew that, but in my heart I was sure that there were dark times ahead for us.

She'd confirmed what I had suspected about the baby for weeks, the cards had showed the baby's sex. I had been having dreams for the last few weeks, dreams of my child. I wondered how Sirius would take the news. He'd know tomorrow when we went to the Healer. He and Harry would be able to find out about the baby.

It was well after ten, but I had at least two hours before Sirius would be home. I changed into my nightgown and settled into our bed. I lifted the long chain that was on my neck out from under my nightgown and fingered the ring that was there. It had all been so simple that winter, the Christmas when I was fifteen. We were so young and so damned idealistic. We believed that we could change the world and that everything would be fine, as long as we had each other. We had no idea how silly were we being or what would lie ahead of us.

"_You've been quiet today," I mentioned to Sirius as we walked down to the lane in the dark, five days before Christmas. There was a fresh blanket of snow on the ground and the air was crisp and biting. My Mum had put the charm on us to keep us from getting frostbitten._

"_Had a lot on my mind," he said casually, and I nodded. Tonight was the Longbottom's ball, we had decided not to go, Sirius wanted to avoid his parents, he hadn't been home since about halfway through the summer. I doubted that he would ever willingly go back. My Mum and Dad had given him his own room in our house. "There's my star up there," he said pointing. "The brightest star in the big dog there," he told me, sounding so sad. "Orion is always keeping an eye on his dog."_

"_Sirius, what is it? You haven't seen your father in months."_

"_Ellie, have you ever disappointed your parents?" he asked me rather cryptically._

"_I'm sure that I have, I dropped Divination last year, they weren't happy that I dropped a class. Why are you asking me this?"_

"_Everything I do...I'm not the son they wanted." We walked in silence for a while, I wasn't sure what to say to that. After a while I knew that I needed break the quiet between us._

"_You're doing well in your classes. I wish I had your skill at Transfigurations and Defense," I said, reaching for his hand. He didn't hold mine back, which I thought was strange. "Sirius, please tell me what's wrong."_

"_Do you ever think about the future, Lolly?" he asked, staring off at the stars. _

"_All the time. I have it all figured out. I'll go to Paris and study at the Académie de Maîtres de Potions Magiques, become a Potions Master and then go to work. I think that I'd like to work in experimental potions, you know, something for making things grow or making work easier. I'm not really sure."_

"_What about medical potions, you did a great job on that one that you made for Slughorn's project," he commented, still looking so far away._

"_I guess, but that was...I wanted to win the contest. I figured if I made something that did good, I'd get extra points. I was right and Lily wrote me an excellent essay on the Goblin Wars; and we both beat Severus, that was the best part," I exclaimed, and then was surprised when Sirius didn't take the chance to get a dig in at Snape. "Sirius, honestly, what's the matter?"_

"_Where do I fit in there, Lolly?"_

"_Sirius," I said stopping in front of him and taking his face in my hands. "None of it will mean anything without you. I hope that we're there together, that you'll stay with me while I study, it's only two years. I love you..." he stopped me from talking by kissing me deeply, his lips forcing mine open and his tongue exploring mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him to me, while his arms circled my waist. There were far too many clothes and cloaks and scarves and such between us, I just wanted to hold him and let him know just how much I loved him, and always would._

"_I love you so much, Lolly," he told me as he brushed the hair away from my face. "I don't ever want to be without you."_

"_You won't be then," I promised him. "Please, please tell me what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing's wrong Lolly, I just...Lolly, I don't want to be like my family. I want to make my own choices and decide for myself. I want to get a job and have a career, do something useful with my life. I don't want to sit home all day and lord over my children with an iron fist," he said, his eyes flashing with passion. I knew that he was speaking of his parents, I wasn't sure what it was that they believed, but I was sure that the magics they practiced were the darkest in nature._

"_Then that's what you'll have. Sirius, please...you're scaring me here. Don't you...I don't understand Sirius."_

"_Lolly, oh my sweet Lolly, come on, let's go back to your parents house and sit by the fire. I need to tell you about a conversation that I had with your father today," he said, practically pulling me down the lane again._

_My parents and Jamie had left for the Ball after we had headed out for our walk. The house was quiet, except for the owls hooting in their little nest on the top of the pie safe in the kitchen. A small window was always left open for them to fly in and out. We took off our cloaks and Sirius stoked the fire without using magic, since we were still under age. He sat down in my father's large chair, and then pulled me down into his lap, his arms wrapping around me, his face a breath away from mine._

"_Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" I asked emphatically._

"_Lolly, this afternoon, I talked with your father," he explained and my stomach fell. I knew that my Daddy had looked into the Betrothal that Sirius had, and promised that he'd break it. "No, love, don't look that way. It was good. I asked him for your hand, and he said that as much as it was his to give, he would let me have it," I heard the words coming from his mouth, but their meaning wasn't making it any higher in my brain. I wrinkled my brow and I could feel my heartbeat racing, but, it still wasn't making sense. "He told me though, that I had better ask you, since it was your choice to make."_

_I nodded at him, still perplexed. "Ellie Potter, my friend since I was a child, my first sweetheart and my true love, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"_

_I started to hyperventilate and cry and I still couldn't figure out what was happening. It wasn't until he pulled a ring, my grandmother's engagement ring, from his shirt pocket and held it in front of me that I really understood. "Yes," I whispered through my tears. _

_I felt him slid the ring onto my finger and then he leaned down to kiss it, and then he kissed me passionately._

"_You really...you want to marry me?" I mumbled._

"_Lolly, it's always been you, and it always will be," he said before he kissed me again. I was emboldened by this declaration and all that it meant. I slid from his lap and offered him my hand. My parents wouldn't be home for hours, and as Sirius stood and followed me up to my room. I lit the candles on my dresser and then pulled off my jumper, leaving me only in my bra and walked over and embraced Sirius, his hands..._

"Lolly, honey, are you alright?" Sirius asked me, he was sitting on the bed in front of me, looking at me quite worried.

"I'm fine. What time is it?" I asked.

"It's eleven-twenty, and I was worried because I was trying to get your attention for about two minutes. What were you thinking about?" he asked again, his hands moving up and down my arms. I showed him the ring on the chain.

"Your proposal, that night," I confessed. He got a wicked grin across his face.

"I see. I seem to remember that was a very exhilarating night for both of us."

"Yes," I said with a grin and a blush, "it was."

"I still want to marry you," he whispered as he pulled me close.

"I want that too." I held him for a few minutes, and then I yawned and he pulled back.

"You're tired there, pregnant Mummy. Let's get to sleep, huh?" He announced as he got up off the bed and slid out of his clothes, climbing back in once his pajama pants were on. "Big day tomorrow, last Healer appointment."

"Yes, finally," I groaned. I was ready for the baby to be out of me. "I told Harry that he can come along, hope that's okay?"

"Hey, he's the big brother, he should come along." We snuggled together, Sirius once again holding the baby with his hand, and was quickly asleep. I laid there, feeling his hand holding our child, and wondered if Mummy and Daddy were going to be able to keep them safe.

The next morning, I couldn't help but get caught up in Harry's enthusiasm at going with us to the Healer appointment. He could barely sit still in his highchair while eating his toast and eggs.

"Harry, I need you to eat, please," I begged him and he lifted the little triangle of toast and put it in his mouth, taking way too big of a bite. "Without choking yourself, please?"

"So, I understand that you're letting Harry find out the sex of the baby today?" Remus asked with one eyebrow cocked at me over his morning tea.

"What! Why does he get to know and I don't!" Sirius complained rather loudly. I turned and smiled at him.

"Who says that you won't know as well? Honestly, Sirius," I added with a head shake.

"Wait, we're going to find out what it is? Really? What made you change your mind?" He asked as he leaned toward me, kissing me and rubbing my belly when he was done talking.

"Because I told her last night," Grace piped up and I turned and glared at her across the table.

"How would you have known?" Remus asked Grace. They were seated next to each other and there was no way that Grace could avoid his gaze.

"I did a reading last night," she answered quietly.

"You think Divination is bunk, Lolly. Why did you let her do a reading?" Sirius sort of barked out. I opened my mouth, considering telling him and Remus everything that she read, but thankfully, Grace chose to divert their attentions.

"Look, I was curious; so I begged Ellie to let me do one. Congratulations, by the way," she said, then taking another sip of her juice.

"Okay," Sirius said, now sounding annoyed. "I still can't believe you let her do a reading on you," he told me shaking his head in disbelief. "Anyone want to tell me what pea is?"

"No," we replied in surprising unison.

"Wait a minute, I'm the Dad. When do I get to find out?"

"You may coax it out of Harry later. I told him that the Healer could tell him." Sirius smiled, thinking that this would be easy. He looked over at Harry.

"Hey, sport, you're going to tell your Uncle Sirius, right? Padfoot will take you out this afternoon?" he tried to bribe his godson.

"Aunt Ewwhie told me it a secwret," Harry said, eating down the last of his eggs.

"She can't mean that it's a secret from me, right?" Sirius asked, looking between Harry and I. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"I made a prwomise with her. I keep secwret." Sirius started getting indignant, and before it went any further, I leaned over and whispered in Harry's ear.

"You can tell your Uncle Sirius." Harry giggled and nodded at me. We soon finished breakfast, and since I had an early appointment we were all dressed and ready to leave shortly thereafter. I went through the floo last, as I tended to stumble out quite badly now, my balance was completely shot.

At St. Mungo's I waddled to the Healer's office and took a seat, waiting for my appointment. Harry brought along a few books and he went through all of his colors and baby animals with me.

When we were called back, the Healer did some measurements and then cast the charm so that the baby's heartbeat could be heard. Harry got so excited by it that he started dancing around to the fluttering beat.

"That's my baby! That's my baby!" he cheered. "I the big brwother!"

"I know, and it looks like you're going to be a very good big brother," Healer Edelson told him. "Well, Ellie, you're ready to go at any time. The baby has dropped and your body has started transitioning to get ready to let that little one see the world."

"Heawler," Harry said, "we want to know if it a boy or a girwl."

"I see, and do you all agree?" she specifically asked, looking at me.

"We do, and you're to tell Harry first. Then he gets to tell Sirius. I have a feeling that I already know," I explained and she nodded. I watched as the Healer did the charm on my belly, reading the runes that were now glowing over me. I knew that Sirius would never be able to figure them out, he didn't do well in Runes class and they were backwards. My suspicions were correct, as was Grace's reading.

Healer Edelson bent down and whispered in Harry's ear, and he jumped up and down, cheering. He ran over to his godfather and whispered in his ear, and Sirius hugged Harry and then leaned down to kiss me, but before his lips could touch mine, the door to our exam room was blown off its hinges and my Healer was stunned and slumped on the floor.

As the dust settled, I could see Rosemund, Raleigh, their father Thornfinn, Evan Rossier and all three of the Lestranges in the doorway. Thornfinn and Raleigh were holding Rosemund up, and she still looked crazy and half drugged.

"Hello there my dear husband," she said in a sing-songy, deranged voice. "We're going home now, and you're going to give me a baby too."

Sirius had picked up Harry and had his arm on my shoulder. My wand was on the small table a few feet away from us, I hoped that he had his on him. Before either of us could react, the world started to spin. Someone had activated a portkey.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19:**

**Old Magic**

"_Mummy, we've been working on this for hours. I'll learn this stuff in Herbology, please can't I go outside?" I whined at her. "We've only got a few weeks left before we have to go back to school, and Jamie and Sirius have been outside all day."_

"_Eleanor Hightower Potter," my mother used my whole name, and I knew that I was in trouble. I crossed my arms and huffed. I knew the speech that was coming. "You descend from a long line of powerful witches, and what I am teaching you has been handed down from generation to generation," her back was turned to me, so I started to mock her, pretending to talk and wiggle my head. I hadn't noticed that she'd turned around and was staring at me. She looked down at the floor. "You may go outside."_

_I watched my mother walk out of the room, and then I heard her going upstairs. I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings, it was just...there were plenty of excuses in my head but none of them seemed to make much sense now. I pulled the book back toward me, the notebook that my mother had started taking notes in when she was my age, and I started to study on my own._

_Three hours later I crept up to her room, she was on her bed, looking at a picture of her mother holding me, while my mum stood behind her. I knew it well, I had the same one on my dresser. It had been taken at the summer house, grandmummy on the hammock. "Mummy," I called her, "I'm sorry. I have something for you."_

_My Mum looked up at me and I walked across the room and handed her the satchel. She slid open the drawstring and loosened the pouch, inspecting the ingredients._

"_Why did you add the dried cabbage?" she asked looking at me puzzled._

"_I figured it if it was a protection pouch, adding something for a little luck wouldn't be such a bad thing," I explained and she looked up at me and smiled._

"_I think that you're right, good job Ellie, your grandmummy would have been quite proud of this," she said sadly. I knew that she missed her mother. I couldn't imagine going through life without mine. I sat down next to her and put my head on her shoulder._

"_I miss her too," I whispered._

"Ewwhie, Ewwhie, wake up," I heard Harry screaming at me, shaking my on the shoulder. I opened my eyes at looked at my godson.

"Harry, Harry, I'm awake," I said through panted breaths, "just please stop screaming."

"I scwared, Ewwhie."

"I know you are honey, but you have to be quiet. Let me figure out where we are," I told him while I felt my body. There was a sharp pain in my head and there was a dull ache in my back. I could feel the baby kicking, so that was good. I reached up and felt the goose-egg sized lump forming on my head and the small amount of dried blood. I must have been out for a while.

I sat up and opened my eyes, it appeared as if we were in some sort of a cellar. The only windows were at the ceiling line and it appeared as if there were flowers outside the windows. There wasn't much in here, an old wardrobe, a pallet bed on the floor, a fireplace without any logs or a grate. I wondered if there was any floo powder around. I turned and looked at Harry, he was dirty and his face was tear streaked, but he seemed to be okay otherwise.

"Harry, are you hurt anywhere?" I asked him, opening my arms to him and he scampered into them.

"The cwut me," he said, showing me a long, shallow knife wound on his belly. It had already crusted over. My blood boiled at the idea of someone hurting my little boy.

"Who did this to you?"

"A twall scwary man," he told me. Given who had been there when they took us, it could have been any of them.

"Can you tell me anything else about him, sweetheart?"

Harry shook his head in response. "He was wearing a cwape."

"Okay, little love, that's okay. Can I look at the cut again?" I asked him and he lifted his shirt up. This time, I recognized that it wasn't just a line, it was a rune, _**Is**_ : the rune of preparation. I didn't like this at all. "Okay, honey, I want to find some water and get that cleaned up, okay."

I rolled myself over and got myself up off the floor rather awkwardly, and the pain in my back seemed to shift and change, now feeling a little sharper and less like pressure. I took a deep breath and rubbed my belly, trying to ease the kicking of the little one that I was still carrying.

"Baby okay?" Harry asked, his little hand rubbing my bump as well.

"The baby is just fine Harry, come on, let's explore this place," I told him and reached for his little hand. We were indeed in some sort of a cellar, but since I couldn't hear any noise above us, I wondered if we were in some sort of an outbuilding or underground...or the room could have just had a silencing charm put on it, Ellie, I chastised myself. Next to the wardrobe, there was an old basin sink with a hand pump. I hoped that it was still working.

When we reached the basin, I pumped the handle and was excited when water came out. At first the water was quite brown, and I really didn't want to cleanse Harry's wound with it, but after a minute, it started to run clean. I ripped off the end of my skirt and made a makeshift flannel, and gently cleaned of Harry's wound. He flinched at the coldness of the water.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but without my wand, I can't do a warming charm on it. There, you're all cleaned up," I told him and I rinsed the rag off and then laid it over the side of the basin. I wasn't sure how long we'd be here, and I might need to clean his wound again. "Come here, I want you take a little drink, okay. If I hold you up here, I want you to drink out of the stream, okay?"

Harry nodded and I lifted him up, earning a sharp pain in my belly from doing so. Clearly he was heavier than what I should be lifting this close to having the baby. I pumped the handle again, and Harry took a drink, getting himself wet in the process, but I'd rather deal with wet clothes than having him get dehydrated. I put him back down, and took a long drink myself. I started feeling lightheaded, and I knew that it was getting to be time for me to eat. I decided that we needed to search the room and see if there was any food.

"Come on, Harry, let's see what else is in this place," I told him, reaching for his hand again. The pain in my back was getting sharp again. I checked around the fireplace, but there wasn't any floo powder that I could see, so we went to search elsewhere.

We walked over to the wardrobe and opened it, and the contents inside made me want to weep with joy. Inside were jars and jars of botanicals, dried herbs, fruits, bits of wood and plants. It was a potion makers cabinet. There were also jars of preserved fruits, jams and honey on the very top shelf, and I knew that if nothing else, Harry and I wouldn't starve until I could figure out how to get us out of here. I was beginning to take an inventory when I heard a noise outside the door. I quickly closed the cabinet doors and pulled Harry away from the wardrobe.

"Harry, stay behind me, and don't say anything, understand?" I asked him tersely, and he gave me a frightened nod. I heard a lock slide across the other side of the door, and the heavy wooden door creaked open. In the doorway stood Raleigh Rowle and Evan Rossier.

"Ah, you're awake. About time," Evan barked as he came into the room.

"Yes, well getting clunked over the head tends to knock one out for quite a bit of time," I quipped back. I regretted it as soon as the back of his hand connected with my face, and I fell over. Thankfully, I fell onto the pallet, Harry coming with me and remaining behind me. I sat up and pushed Harry further behind me.

"You always were a mouthy bitch, even when we were kids. You chose so poorly, Ellie. If your parents had only listened, made suitable matches for you and your brother, he'd probably still be alive," Evan rambled. "Drink this." he said, shoving a phial at my face. There was no way that I was going to drink any potion without knowing what it was.

"No!" I yelled at him, but he grabbed me around the neck with one hand, and with the other he held my mouth open. He gripped the cork lid with his teeth and opened the phial and poured the liquid down my throat; it stung and burned the whole way down. When he released me, I tried to spit out as much as I could, but there wasn't much left in my mouth.

"You and Black, you're both so alike. Have to make everything hard on yourselves," Evan taunted us. "You know, you were always so pretty Ellie. Those long blonde curls and your big brown eyes." His hand caressed along my face as he said it, and I felt sick.

"Oh, get on with it," Raleigh complained.

"Silence," Evan yelled at her as he stood up, and she backed away from him. "I don't even know why you're here!"

"Because it's my sister that she's humiliated, but the humiliation is on her now. Rosemund and Sirius are at the main house right now, and by the end of the night, she'll be pregnant with his baby, one way or another," she rambled. I knew if she kept talking, I'd find out more information. I was worried about Sirius, but I knew that he could handle himself in situations like this. I also hoped that Remus and Amelia would figure out what was going on, and be working on finding us, the sooner the better.

"Sirius won't sleep with her," I told her confidently.

"Oh, he will, see, we told him that we'll let you live if he impregnates Rosemund," Raleigh blabbed again, and my heart sank. He would do anything to keep me safe, even if it meant hurting me.

"Be quiet you silly girl! Why did your father bring you along?" Evan yelled at her again.

"Because it has to be a family member that releases the wards hiding this place, and Daddy is busy with the ritual for Rosemund!" Raleigh snarked back. "What I don't understand is why you are here!"

He turned his back on us, facing Raleigh face on. "That's none of your concern," he said darkly, and for the first time I saw Raleigh slink away from him, meekly. "Now, for you two, it would seem that fair Bella has figured out how this child defeated the Dark Lord, and she's discovered a ritual and potion to restore him, and it all revolves around that boy's blood."

I started racking my brain and I couldn't think of what potion Bella could possibly be thinking of using, which meant that it was dark magic. Little Harry wouldn't survive if she had a chance to start the ritual, I felt certain of that.

"As for you, my dear, turns out that baby you're carrying, it's a quite something. The older ones, the ones who still adhere to the forgotten ways, they've been waiting for that child of yours. The juncture of three houses, born under the moon in Aries, so close to Eostara, the ability that it will have...and to think, you went and got pregnant without any idea of what would happen. Silly, irritating, independent bitch!" Evan said as he got close to me. "I had hoped that it would be my child that you'd be carrying," he told me, his face disgustingly close to mine. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth together, fighting the urge to spit on him. "But it's so much better that it's Black's. What better way to torture him than watching you and his godson die, and then this child taken from him? That will teach him to be a blood-traitor."

"We'll be back for you in a while, don't try anything stupid," he snarled as he pulled Raleigh from the room, and I heard the lock slide against the door and then there was no sound again.

I set about to catalog all that I had learned from listening to the two of them as I pulled a crying Harry into my lap. I had to figure out a way to protect us, and a way to alert Remus and Amelia where we were.

"Those people bad, Ewwhie?"

"They are sweetheart, but we're going to use some special magic and make sure that they can't hurt us, okay?" I tried to reassure him. I rocked him for a minute more, figuring out what I knew for certain, and what I needed to do first. They want Harry and the baby for some sort of a ritual or rituals, which I figured had to be dark magic. That wasn't good; it sounded like human sacrifice. My first action needed to be to protect Harry, the baby and I.

Secondly, they had Sirius somewhere, and they were going to force him to impregnate Rosemund. How exactly, I wasn't sure, but I remembered Amelia saying that you couldn't forcibly takes his contribution to the baby making from him, which meant that one way or another, he was going to be a willing participant. I knew that I needed to prepare myself for the possibility that the rite would be activated, and I couldn't scare Harry that way.

Thirdly, I knew that we were in some sort of an outside building that was under a ward that could only be lifted by a family member. Since Raleigh could do it, it must be a Rowle family property. I really needed to get Harry and I out of here, or we might not be found.

Harry had stopped crying in my arms, so I decided that it was time to once again get myself off of the floor, and get to work. I suspected that none of our captors knew what was in that wardrobe, or they never would have left a potions master down here with it.

"Harry, are you hungry honey?" I asked as I rolled over and again heaved my body up. The pain in my back was getting worse, and I was starting to feel sharp twinges along my abdomen, but the baby was still kicking away. I doubted that all of this stress was helping anything.

"Uh-huh," he said as he still worked to control his breathing. I pulled out a chair from the little table that was in front of the wardrobe, and he dutifully sat down. I then opened the wardrobe and looked through the contents again.

"Well, how about if you have a little of this jam here," I told him, reaching for a jar of the strawberry jam from the shelf. I unscrewed the lid and gave it a sniff, and it smelled fine, so I handed it to Harry.

"How can I eat it?" he asked, looking at me very confused. I opened the drawer of the wardrobe and found some silverware, and handed him a spoon.

"Here, just eat it from the jar." Harry grinned from ear to ear at that idea. "Harry, I need you to be quiet and be very good for Aunt Ellie, okay? I'm going to try and get us some protection here."

Harry nodded and scooped up a big spoon of the red goo and put it in his mouth. I started going through the shelves, pulling things out. Eucalyptus, Juniper, Cloves, a candle, Comfrey, Basil, Fennel, Garlic, Holly wood shavings and sprigs of Rosemary. I also found some salt, twine and matches. I was so thankful for that last one. I searched in vain for a pot or something to brew in, but I couldn't find anything. I then turned to trying to locate some cloth, but there wasn't any in wardrobe either.

I waddled across the room and tore the sheet covering the pallet off the thin bed and started to rip it apart. When I had it ripped into squares, I added the ingredients from my grandmother's protection pouch to the material, and then tied it up with the twine. As I started to tie one to Harry's neck, he looked up at me.

"What's dis?"

"It's a protection pouch, love. It should help to keep you safe. Whatever you do, do not take this off, do you understand me?"

"Yes, Ewwhie, I understand."

"Good, my sweet boy," I told him, ruffling his hair, only then noticing his face, which was a red, sticky mess. I'd clean him up in a minute, or even leave him messy, his safety was more important than him being dirty right now. I tied one of the other pouches around my neck and then stowed the last two in my pockets.

I had one more thing to do, and then I needed to try and get us out of here, which was going to be difficult, considering that the door was locked from the other side. The pain in my back was again becoming pronounced, and I was starting to feel lightheaded again, but I didn't have time to waste here, so I pushed the pain from my mind.

I took the other chair from the table and pulled it to the center of the room. I then grabbed the salt and made a pile of it and then placed the candle in the middle of it and lit it. While the candle was getting a pool of wax, I took the Juniper needles and Cloves and rolled them up in Eucalyptus leaves, and the speared the whole thing on a fork.

"Harry, this isn't going to smell good, I'm sorry," I warned him, putting the little roll into the flames. It smoked but didn't really catch fire, and it did indeed smell retched. When the whole cylinder was nearly consumed, I heard the tell-tale pop and then the cracking sound of the wards collapsing. I was ever so thankful for the skills from my book, and for the legacy that my family had kept. We now had cleansed the air of the lingering spells upon us, and I believed that I had given Harry, the baby and I good protection against being cursed. Now, we just needed to get out of here.

I leaned against the table and rubbed my belly again, trying to calm myself and the baby. I only allowed myself a minute, and then I pushed off and went to the window. I looked up and could see the flowers, some grass and a stone building off in the distance. The window was sealed tight, and there was no way to open it. I weighed my options, and decided that breaking the glass would be the best thing that I could do.

A wave of nausea and fresh piercing pain in my abdomen caused me to stop in my tracks and sway. I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing, but it was hard to do. A familiar and very unwanted burning sensation began to take over my extremities and I tried to push it away.

"Ewwhie, Ewwhie, are you okay?" I heard Harry yell as he got down from his chair and came over to me. The pain was too bad to answer him just yet, and I felt the despised torturous sensation of my heart being ripped out of me. I knew that I could do this without screaming, I had done it on the night that Sirius was married; but the irritation in my back and the occasional stabs along my abdomen would just make it that much harder. I looked down at my dear godson and nephew and nodded at him. Trying to steady my breath and ignore the feeling that my skin was being torched from my flesh.

I pulled up whatever strength I had left, I had two children that I needed to protect now. I had to get Sirius out of there, and I prayed that whatever they had done to him could be undone. I stumbled over to where the basin was, and found a long, heavy ladle. I wrapped my hand and arm in the rest of the torn sheet from the pallet, to protect it from the flying glass.

"Harry, go over in the far corner, by the fireplace, and cover your head with your arms, okay?"

"Yes, Ewwhie," he replied and quickly scampered along the floor to the spot I told him to go to. His eyes were wide, and there was a look of terrified wonder to him. Once I was sure that he was far enough away, I swung the ladle at the small window, and heard the glass crack. It shattered upon the second whack. I removed as much of the glass as I could from the small pane and then dropped the ladle.

Even with my precautions, my hand had sustained a deep cut. I went and ran some water over it, and then ripped off more of my skirt to make a bandage. I leaned against the pump, hoping that the adrenaline that was coursing through me would be enough to mask the pain I was in.

"Come on, Harry, we need to figure out a way to get out of here," I said as I stood, turned and offered him my hand. I watched as he got up and came over to me quickly. "I want you to stand on your chair there, and watch for any feet. If you see any, let me know, okay?" He nodded that he understood, and then turned his head to watch out the window, his face struck a pose of determined observation.

I forced myself to walk the few steps to the door, and ran my fingers along the edges. There was nothing, no cracks, no releases, no divots, no space between the door and the frame. I wasn't going to be able to force our way out.

"Ewwhie," Harry called and I went back to him, my belly giving me another stab and the baby kicking up a storm in response. "Feet!"

I went to the window and looked out, and there were indeed feet, feet belonging to the Aurors and Amelia. I yelled out to her. "Amelia, down here!"

Amelia turned in response to the voice, and I threw the ladle out the window to get her attention further. Dusk was coming on and the light was leaving us quickly. Amelia, Devon and Linda were the first to come to the window.

"Are you two all right?" Amelia asked quickly.

"I think so, although I have cut my hand rather badly and...um, they've coerced Sirius somehow to...the rite was activated," I told her quietly and I saw the pain cross her face.

"Oh, Ellie," she muttered quietly and then gaining her composure added, "we'll be right there. Devon thinks he found the entrance," she told me and not two minutes later, Devon and Linda were opening the door. I was never so happy to see anyone before.

"Come on, let's get you out of here and portkey you to St. Mungo's," Linda told me. "Remus and Grace are worried sick about you."

Harry was already being carried out by Devon, who had wrapped the toddler up in his cloak, his arms wrapped around him protecting him from whatever was out there. They went through the door first. Linda put her arm under mine and helped me get out. Another sharp pain greeted me in the abdomen and without Harry here, I cried out with the strength of it, and tears began to fall.

"Ellie, is it the baby?" Linda asked and I nodded. "Are you in labor?"

"I don't know," I told her. "They shoved a potion down my throat a while ago, and now I feel..." I couldn't finish because the pain was just too much. I screamed out again. My heart felt like it was being crushed, my skin was burning, my back felt like I was being stabbed in my lower spine and things just kept cramping in my belly.

Linda didn't say anything else, and just dragged me out of the room. There was a long, dimly lit hallway made of heavy hewn stones. I was trying to help Linda get me out of there, but I was having such a hard time breathing that I wasn't much help. I was thankful when I saw Devon come back for us.

"Harry?" I asked him between pants, I was trying so hard to keep from passing out over the pain.

"He's with Remus and Grace at St. Mungo's already. They're waiting for you," Devon told me calmly.

"Sirius?"

"A team is working on extracting him from the house right now," he told me and I didn't quite understand, but I couldn't really concentrate on his words. I could see light up ahead, and I believed that we were nearly to the mouth of the tunnel. When we got out, I could see that there was a duel going on, and a very large cauldron was set atop a bright fire.

Devon quickly ran toward the conflict, while Linda was trying to find her portkey. I was swaying and panting and didn't even realize for a second what had happened when the light was coming at us. I cutting curse hit Linda across the neck, and she fell to the ground. I looked up and I was Raleigh dancing around, happy that she'd taken Linda down. She raised her wand at me and the flash was coming toward me, but then it just broke apart. A stunner then hit Raleigh and she fell to the ground and Amelia ran to me.

"We need to get you out of here, now!"

"But, Sirius, Linda..."

"Devon and the Aurors will take care of this, come on," she yelled as she wrapped her arms around me, activating the portkey. Two things caught my eye before we swirled away: a small, undulating mass on the ground near the cauldron, and Sirius defending Rosemund from the fight. It was the last thing that I saw, the world swirled and then faded black.

Several hours later, I was resting in a hospital room; Harry asleep on the bed next to me, and my daughter resting in my arms. The Healers had quickly repaired my hand when I arrived, and then I was whisked away to the delivery suite, so that my sweet girl could come into the world.

Grace was there to help me, and Molly came along not much later. Remus stayed with Harry as they healed the wound on his stomach and then got him cleaned up. He was brought in to meet his little sister not long after.

Sirius had not made it for the birth.

I was giving my official statement to Amelia, and she was recapping what went on at the Rowle family lodge, not far from Carlisle. "Evan Rossier is dead, the Lestranges were all taken into custody and are being processed as we speak. Rosemund was taken back into custody, and she will be housed at Azkaban now, rather than here at St. Mungo's. Thornfin, Raleigh and that...whatever it was all got away. The only one that we lost was Linda." Amelia rattled off.

"From what they were blabbering on about, that thing might have been what's left of ...Voldemort," I said, no longer afraid of the name. After what I had been through, what he had done to my family, I wasn't going to give him the power of being unwilling to use the name.

"Oh Ellie, if you're right..." she sighed and looked over at the sleeping Harry.

"Evan said something about using Harry for a ritual to restore him to his body. They also wanted my daughter...our daughter," I said sadly.

"Ellie, they gave him a strong love potion, after they had tortured him," Remus told me, and I already knew this, Amelia had explained it. When Rosemund was stunned and taken into custody, he had turned on the Aurors and Magical Law Enforcement personnel, trying to get her back. They had eventually had to stun him as well, and bring him to the trauma ward to be healed and to have the antidote for the potion. I hadn't seen him yet.

"I know, it was...Remus, my head knows that it wasn't him, that it was what they had given him; but my heart," I broke down and started to cry, fat tears falling onto the head of my little girl. The room was silent as I got control of my emotions.

"Amelia, I need to know. I need to find out what's so special about my daughter, the conjunction of three bloodlines, born with the moon in Aries, close to Eostara that's what they said was special."

"I'll get my team investigating it. I've also owled my clerk and he's filed the divorce papers and served Mrs. Black, senior with the announcement that there is an heir born to the Black family line. Paternity was confirmed in the delivery suite," she explained and I nodded.

"Amelia, they were trying to get Rosemund pregnant with Sirius child tonight. I felt that they...that he..." I trailed off and both Remus and Grace looked horrified. "Could you please have her checked and..." I didn't want us having to deal with her having a child of Sirius' as well.

"They've already given her a potion, Ellie. She can't be pregnant, they won't allow it at Azkaban; it's standard procedure when a female is incarcerated," she explained. She then lifted my improvised protection pouch. "What is this? We found one on Harry and three on you."

"That's my grandmother's protection concoction," I explained with a smile. "They never should have left me in a room with potion makers cabinet. I had to improvise a little, but it seemed to work. I have always said that I would put it up against anyone's _Protego_."

"Can you tell me what's in it? I can't seem to open it, and we'd like to give them to our officers out in the field."

"It won't open because it can only be made by a witch in the Maeve line, and I can't tell you what's in them either. However, I would be willing to make you some, just let me get back on my feet, okay?"

"Most definitely," she said, smiling.

There was a knock at the door, and as it pushed open, there stood Sirius, looking much worse from the day's activities. He was bruised and red everywhere that I could see, and there was a deep gash healing under his swollen eye. His right arm and left hand were bandaged. He looked so sad and ashamed. It was hard to believe that this morning Harry was dancing around to the baby's heartbeat and now, she was here and there was an oppressive layer of tension upon us.

"Ellie?" he questioned, his eyes pleading.

"Come in, meet your daughter," I told him and his face lit up.

"A little girl, we have a little girl?" I nodded as I heard chairs scraping and watched as Amelia, Grace and Remus all rose and filed past Sirius.

"We'll be out in the hall if you need us," Grace added as she left. Sirius slowly made his way over to us, and I shifted over to let him sit next to me.

"Ellie, I'm so sorry..." he started, but I raised my hand and silenced him.

"What happened was...it wasn't your fault. Just give me a couple of days to heal and think, okay?" He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my temple.

"Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere. She'll be out of our lives soon," he promised and I knew that he was right. "So do I get to see her?"

"Yes," I said with a chuckle, and I pulled the blanket away from her face. She had dark fuzz on her head and her eyes were a bright blue.

"Oh, look at her, she looks like you," Sirius cooed.

"Sirius, she's got your dark hair and your nose," I told him.

"But she's got your lips and your sweet face," he remarked, which made me smile. She really was a good mix of the two of us. "Where did the blue eyes come from?"

"Most babies are born with them. They'll settle into her real color soon," I explained and I watched as Sirius stroked her face. "You want to hold her?" He nodded and I eased our daughter into his arms.

"Hello precious, I'm your daddy," he said, a tear falling down his cheek. A noise from the bed next to me caused me to look over, and see Harry's bright eyes looking at us. I opened my arms, and Harry scrambled from his bed over to mine, and into my lap.

"Hello baby, I'm your browther. We have a whole famiwy now, a Mummy, a Daddy, a browther and a sister," he announced proudly. I looked at Sirius, who smiled down at me.

"That we do, sport. That we do," Sirius told him as I wrapped my arms around him.

"What baby name? We can't just call her baby or pea." Harry told us quite assuredly.

"I don't know, big brother. I think we need to ask Mummy about that," Sirius said and then both sets of their eyes were on me.

"I was thinking that since it was my grandmother's magic that saved Harry and I back there, that her first name should be Ainsley, and then her middle name be Grace; both for the friend who saved her before she was born, and it is by her being here that we have been given the grace of being together. Ainsley Grace Potter-Black."

"It's a perfect name," Sirius said, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against mine. An irritated guffaw from Harry stopped us from snogging any further. "What's the matter, Harry?"

"I still want to be a Black," he complained with a sad face.

"I know honey, so how about this: yesterday I got the official papers that say that you are mine," I told him. Months ago I had petitioned to be named Harry's permanent legal guardian; in effect adopting him. The surprise was what name he would now have. "Soon Sirius will do the same thing, so that you will be our little boy -- Harry James Potter-Black, just like the baby; and after the wedding, Sirius and I will have the same last name. We will all be Potter-Black's. How does that sound?"

Harry turned around and threw his arms around my neck, kind of standing on my legs, which wasn't very comfortable, but he was so overjoyed, I was willing to overlook it. "We really a family. I love you."

"Yes, sweetheart, we really are a family," I told him back, with a kiss on his cheek, one to the head of my little Ainsley and one on the cheek of my soon to be husband.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Okay folks, this is the second to last chapter, and it is almost all fluff and happiness. Now the good news, I have started writing the sequel to this story, called "Prophecy and Destiny" and I should be able to start posting it in November. I so appreciate all of your support, it has surprised and overwhelmed me at times, given that this was just a little story that I started as a distraction from my epic trilogy; that it has been so well received is humbling. Please enjoy the happiness of this chapter. Mutt **

**Chapter 20:**

**A Fresh Start**

Ainsley was snuggled up against me, gently suckling away. At four weeks old, she was truly the spitting image of her daddy. Her hair was dark and her eyes had deepened in color, so that they were less blue and now closer to gray. We weren't sure if they would be staying this way, or deepening further. I was propped up in bed feeding her, while Sirius was in the bathroom showering. Today was an important day for our family, and we all wanted to look our best. The final divorce decree would be signed, Sirius' adoption of Harry would be finalized and our marriage license would be filed. We would be able to wed as soon as it was certified. Professor Dumbledore had promised that he would walk it through the offices himself so that we could set our wedding date. I wanted it to be on May first, the sacred day of the beginning of Summer -- the season of new life. I would be honoring my family traditions and my legacy by being married on this day.

The door opened, and Harry ran in and climbed up on the bed with us. He lifted the blanket that covered Ainsley and said good morning to her, and then sat up and kissed my cheek and wished me the same. I had given up on really trying to keep my breasts from view of Harry while I was feeding, it just wasn't going to happen.

"Good morning, little love, did you sleep well?" I inquired of him.

"Yes, and I am very excited because I see Mus and Grace today!" he told me while jumping on his little bottom on the bed. Remus and Grace had moved back to her flat once we were home with the baby, to give all of us a little privacy. We still saw them nearly every day anyhow. They would be with us at court today, along with Professor McGonagall and Arthur Weasley. Amelia would be acting as our counsel, should we need any. None of us were anticipating the need.

"Yes you will, sweetheart. I am very happy about that too. Then, we're all going over to the Weasley's to have supper and celebrate! You'll get to play with Ginny and Ron!"

"Double yeah!" he said bouncing even more. I finally hand to put a hand on his shoulder to get him to stop, as he was making Ainsley grumpy.

"Can you get dressed on your own, or do you want to wait for Uncle Sirius?" Before Harry could answer, Sirius came out of the loo only dressed in a towel, and was a bit surprised to see that we had company, and that I was still nursing. I could see the disappointment on his face.

"Hey sport," Sirius said as he leaned down to kiss Harry, "how about if you go and get started and then I'll be down to help you in a minute, okay?"

"Okay, I love you Doggy," Harry said as he stood up on the bed and threw his arms around his godfather's neck.

"I love you too, Harry." Sirius lifted him up into a hug, and then set him on the floor, and Harry tore from the room. Sirius decided to shut the door as he went about getting dressed.

"I swear that he doesn't walk anywhere. That boy has more energy than anything I have ever known," I sighed and lifted Ainsley onto my shoulder to give her a good burp. Sirius had put his knickers on, and came to sit on the bed next to me. He gently rubbed the head of our little girl and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning my little princess," he cooed at her. She returned the sentiment with a loud burp into his face, which elicited a giggle from me. "Uh, Ellie, what did you eat yesterday. That was rather ripe."

"Sirius, baby burps just smell bad," I told him. "She's good this morning, she's eaten well and we got almost six hours of sleep from her last night. For her age, that's remarkable," I commented. Our daughter was the most gentle natured, even keeled baby that I'd ever known; she was also very magically strong, and I'd watched her intentionally summon toys into her crib already. We were going to have to keep an eye on her, or bind her magic, I wasn't sure which one, if not both.

"Yes, well, I'll be happy when we can put her into her own room, so that Mummy and I can be alone," he told me, leaving a line of kisses along my neck and shoulder.

"Sirius, we don't have time for this right now. I need to shower still, Harry needs his breakfast, and I want to pump so that we have two feedings with us while we're gone. I don't really want to nurse while we're at the Ministry."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled as he got up off the bed. "Is she ready to be changed?"

"Yes, thank you," I told him as I handed Ainsley to her father. Sirius babbled and cooed at her, and she just looked at him with such a serious look on her face. They were beautiful together.

I got myself showered and did my hair, and then reached into the closet and pulled out my official family robes. I had not worn them since the day I went and got Sirius out of Azkaban. As I affixed the family crests, I looked at myself in the mirror, and was surprised to find someone so happy looking back at me. It had been a year and a half since my brother and his wife were taken from us, and I couldn't believe how far we had all come. I hated that my brother had to die, but he did it to save his son and that was something that I understood. The best gift of all though, had been that in his death I found my life. I hoped that my happiness would honor his memory better than my sullen existence had saddened him before his death.

When I got downstairs, Ainsley was sitting in her little carrier on the table across from Harry, and he was making silly faces at her. I looked at his plate, and he'd only taken one bite of his honey toast, and yet his face was covered in goo. I had no idea how he'd done that.

"Harry, you need to eat young man," I reminded him, "and you need to keep your clothes clean, please." He was wearing a very smart looking set of dress robes. Ainsley was in a little dress with pantaloons that Molly had made her, looking every bit the little doll that she was.

"Ellie, you look so pretty," Harry announced when he looked up at me.

"Thank you, sweetheart," I told him and Sirius came over and kissed my cheek.

"You do look beautiful," he whispered in my ear, "good enough to eat." He had been particularly randy as of late, but I hadn't gotten clearances from my Healer yet, so there still was no sex in our lives.

"Soon, darling, soon," I sighed. I wanted it as badly as he did.

We ate our breakfast, and I quickly magically pumped so that there were two full bottles to take with us, as we didn't know how long we'd be away, and Ainsley would most definitely want to eat. We decided to floo to the Ministry, so Sirius opened our connection and he went through first with Harry, and then I followed with Ainsley. We were still early, and I wanted to go and visit my co-workers in the lab. It felt like I hadn't really been working there, even though my research had continued.

We showed our daughter off to Gulliver once we were checked in, and he commented on how grown up Harry looked. The little boy puffed up with pride at being told that, and smiled back at the man. No one had seen Raleigh since the events at her family farm a month ago, and I was thankful that we wouldn't be running into her today; but I also knew that it wasn't over. Someday, we'd be seeing the Rowle's again.

When we got down to the lab, everyone gushed over our daughter, who Sirius proudly held up for people to see. Esther had made her a beautiful blanket and sweater set and Arielle had made her a little bonnet with her name on it. Prentiss handed me a card that contained two portkey tickets to anywhere in the world. "So that the two of you can go somewhere special for an evening, or something," he said sounding embarrassed and I kissed his cheek and thanked him for it. Then I asked him to go into his office.

"Here, it's finally done," I said handing him a phial and a parchment.

"Really? You finally figured it out?" He asked, sounding very excited. The final incarnation of my curse burn healing potion did indeed work. You needed to rub it in for five days, but it healed the wounds, even if they were old.

"I did, and I have tested it, and it doesn't appear to have any side effects. I know that they will want to do more testing at St. Mungo's, but there is it, and the parchment is the formulation," I explained. "I was hoping that you'd take it over there, and get them started with it."

"Don't you want to? Ellie, this has been your life's work."

"It was," I explained, "but now, my life's work is out in the other room. I'll be back after the wedding...and the rest of my maternity leave, but being here pales in comparison."

"I understand, my dear. I understand," he told me in a very fatherly way. "When is the wedding going to be?"

"If all goes well today, in eight days, on May first. We're keeping the location a secret, and those that are invited will receive a portkey the morning of the wedding to take them to the location."

"Keeping the security rather high there, aren't you?"

"Sir, there are people who are after Harry still, not to mention the press. We'd rather keep the unwanted, out." He nodded and we went back to the other room, Harry was singing to his sister, and everyone else was just enjoying the show.

"I think that we should be heading to the courtroom now," I told them, and Sirius handed me Ainsley and then took Harry by the hand, and carried our daughters empty carrier. I said goodbye to everyone, and we rode the lifts to the courtroom.

Amelia was waiting in the hall for us, and let us know that Professor McGonagall and Devon were already in the room. Grace and Remus came down the hall rather quickly, looking as if they'd rushed here. They both were rather flushed, and I decided that I'd rather not know why they were late.

"Oh, let me see my girl," Grace cooed, reaching out for her goddaughter.

"You saw her yesterday," I reminded her and she just shook her head at me as Grace took our daughter into her arms and remarked: "She's more beautiful today than she was yesterday."

"I think that we should all be heading in," Amelia said and she and Sirius went to sit at the front table, while the rest of us took seats together on the side. The first thing that we would deal with today was Sirius divorce. After that, I would join him for the official adoption of Harry. Arthur skirted into the room just in front of the ten members of the Wizengamot that would be presiding over our cases today. Professor Dumbledore winked at me when he walked in to take his place.

The divorce was granted quickly, as there was no one there to object, and Rosemund was now locked up as criminally insane, and her family was on the run from the Aurors. When Dumbledore announced that the marriage was over, I could swear that I felt as if a weight was lifted off of me, and that I could breathe again.

I went to stand up, to take Harry over and to join Sirius so that we could take care of the adoption, but Remus put a hand on my shoulder, holding me down. I wasn't sure what was happening now.

"Mr. Black, I have here a petition to change your name as well. Are you the one who filed this?" Professor Dumbledore asked Sirius.

"Yes sir."

"Are there any objections?" the chief asked, and when there were none. "It is by decree of the Wizengamot that the man formerly known as Sirius Orion Black is now known as Sirius James Black." I looked at him and the tears that had begun to fall when his divorce was granted were now tumbling down my face. I couldn't bring myself to speak words, I simply mouthed "I love you".

"Ellie," Harry asked as he pulled on the sleeve of my robes, "if Uncle Sirius has the same name as my daddy, does that mean he's my daddy now?" I looked down at him and I wasn't sure what to say.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

"I think it does," Harry answered after a very thoughtful pause. "I like that." I nodded at him, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"I like that too," I responded. We both stood and walked over to where Sirius was still standing. He lifted Harry into his arms and wrapped an arm around me. Professor Dumbledore read the decree that stated that since we were named as Harry's legal guardians upon the death of his parents, that today's proceedings were to simply finalize that agreement. Again, no one objected, and it was announced that Harry James Potter was now Harry James Potter-Black, son of Ellie Potter and Sirius Black. When it was announced, Harry let out a great cheer.

"We're a family, we're really a family. I've got a Mum and a Dad and a sister!"

"Yes you do, sport. Yes you do. Now, I have something that I have to do." Sirius set Harry back down on the floor and then got down on one knee in front of me, reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring, the likes of which I had never seen. The ring was made of gold, and the band was a triskele, the Serch Bythol, the image that was burned into my skin from our Rite. The two points of the triskele held the most beautiful pale purple, triangular cut stone.

"Ellie, I don't know what I did to deserve your love. You have loved me through more than I could have ever hoped, and when I needed you most, you came and rescued me. There is nothing that I will ever do that can repay you that, but I am going to try every day of my life to be worthy of your love. Eleanor Hightower Potter, please tell me that you will marry me and be my wife?"

"Yes, you didn't even have to ask," I mumbled and before I was finished, Sirius was up and I was in his arms. After he had held me for a moment, he took my face in his hands, and his eyes bore into me. Our lips met in a sweet, passionate kiss, filled with all the emotions that we were both feeling. Beneath my blouse, I could feel a different warmth from my mark, it was comforting, like slipping into freshly warmed sheets on a cold winters night. Sirius pulled away from me, and slid the ring onto my finger.

"It's exquisite," I told him, "but I don't understand. I still have my grandmother's ring."

"Keep it, give it to her namesake someday. A new start deserved a new ring."

Eight days later, we were gathered at the family house on the Isle. There was no where else that Sirius and I would want to be married. The guest list would be small, Grace and Remus were standing with us, along with Harry and Ainsley. The Weasley's, Sirius' cousin Andi and her family, a few people from work, Professors McGonagall, Vector and Dumbledore. I had invited Professor Slughorn, but he had claimed a previous engagement. The Longbottoms were the only family friends of my parents that were left, and the service would be presided over by Robina Lovegood, so her family was invited as well. Amelia and Devon would be here to witness the wedding, and to work security. We still weren't convinced that there wouldn't be press or uninvited guests.

I was up in my parents old bedroom, getting ready with Grace and Ainsley. They were both dressed in beautiful pale green dresses, reflecting the color of the season around us. I had adjusted the ancestral gown to fit me perfectly, and adorned it with glistening rosebuds along the dark green trim at the portrait collar and the cord that cinched at my waist. The dress was made of the finest layers of gossamer material, said to have been spun by fairies.

"Are we ready, ladies?" I asked Grace and she nodded.

"You look beautiful, Ellie. I don't think that I have ever seen anyone more lovely on their wedding day," she gushed as she hugged me with one arm.

"Thank you, but I am quite sure that you will look even more lovely on your own wedding day."

"Oh, no," she rebuked with a slight laugh and a wag of her head, "we're no where near that. Those words are not to leave your mouth again, my friend."

I fakely agreed with her, and then I opened the door and walked down the stairs to the sitting room, where Sirius, Remus and Harry were waiting. When he turned around in his dark green robes, I thought that my heart might burst. He looked so handsome, and he was mine, from today until the end of time.

"Ewwhie, you're beautiful!" Harry squealed as he ran over to me. I knelt down and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, and you little man, are very handsome." I stood up and Sirius was there, the look on his face made me melt inside.

"Oh, my Ellie, you have never looked more...I don't even have words for it my love. You are simply...enchanting."

"And you my love, have never looked more handsome." He wrapped his arms around me, and just continued to look at me. It felt as though the world had gone away. Finally, Remus cleared his throat.

"Everyone is here, and the daylight is waning."

Sirius took his arms from around me, and Grace gave me the crown of lilacs and ivy for my head, which I put on. We went through the entranceway and down the hall to the solarium and then out the back doors. Grace carried Ainsley and Remus held Harry's hand and walked out in front of us. I wrapped my arm through Sirius' and with one last look of love, devotion and happiness; we stepped out of the room and to the lawn.

The house overlooked the pond where we first met, and it truly was a reflection of us, and how far we had come together. The guests were standing in a circle, with a small opening for us all to walk through. When we reached the center, we were standing in front of Robina Lovegood, dressed in her yellow ceremonial robes.

"Welcome brothers and sisters, on this sacred night of Beltane, to celebrate the union of Eleanor and Sirius, just as the Goddess and her consort were bound together on this night," Robina greeted us, and the continued with the invocation. "We invoke their spirits on this night, and bring us their presence of love and peace. Grant to us your protection; and in protection, strength. In strength, understanding. In understanding, knowledge. In Knowledge, Justice. In Justice, Love and through Love, appreciation for all beings and creatures."

"Eleanor and Sirius, you come here today of your own free will, and are cheerfully giving yourself to the other?" Robina asked.

"We are." we both replied.

"Then, will you turn and face one another, clasping your right hands together, and then your left ones over the top." Sirius and I faced each other, our hands grabbing for the others. I took one last calming breath, not that I was afraid of being married to him, but just to keep me from getting too excited.

"Eleanor and Sirius, will your love survive the harsh fires of change?" We were asked.

"It will." we replied.

"Will your love ebb and flow with feeling?"

"It will."

"Will your love survive times of stillness and constriction?"

"It will."

"Will your love survive the clear light of day?"

"It will." We'd answered all of the questions. We were nearly married.

"Sirius, tie this ivy to Eleanor's finger and say the ancient invocation, please." Robina handed Sirius a length of tiny and delicate ivy. We'd both studied the ancient words, and knew them well.

I felt Sirius lift my left hand, and tie the ivy around it, he then lifted it and kissed it, and held my hand as he said: "Accept this token of my vows and with it I pledge my love, strength and friendship. I will bring thee joy now and forever. For through season to season, life to death and the life again, our connection will remain. With this vow, I am your husband."

As he said the last words, the ivy began to glow and change, and left in its place was a golden band, that looked like the ivy that was just tied there. I reached over and took the small bit of the vine from Robina and tied it around Sirius finger. I repeated the same words that he had said, and again, as I said, "With this vow, I am your wife." the ivy began to glow, and transformed itself into a glimmering band upon his strong hand.

Tears of joy and happiness were rolling down my face, and I could not suppress the smile on my face. I felt Grace nudge me, and I remembered that I needed to take Ainsley from her, for the ceremony wasn't over yet. I held our beautiful little daughter to me, and looked as my husband held our son. Harry had reached down, and was fingering the wedding band on Sirius finger. It was a beautifully touching sight.

Robina began speaking again. "This wreath symbolizes the marriage of Eleanor and Sirius. Together, we will create a living, visual reminder of their vows that will decorate their home as their love decorates our lives."

Robina had us turn around, and there was now a small round table in the center of the circle. Upon it was a simple, twined together wreath. Grace stepped forward first, taking out her wand, she did an intricate pattern over it, and we watched as ivy grew out and covered the brown vines.

"The Ivy represents fidelity, friendship and growth. The circle mirrors the shape of the rings that they now wear and together, the ivy wreath symbolizes devotion. Ivy does not feed from the tree to which it clings, but still, nothing can separate the ivy from it's companion. If the tree falls, the ivy falls with it. As the tree grows and reaches skyward, the ivy is brought along."

Grace joined the circle, and Remus stepped forward to the wreath, again, intricately flourishing his wand. "A marriage is based on strength and conviction. This wreath is fortified with Holly, to provide domestic happiness and with Pussy Willows, representing the blessings of fertility and children."

"Hey, that's Ainsley and I!" Harry cheered and the assembled group began to laugh.

"You're right sport, that's you and your sister." Sirius told him, and then I heard him whisper in his ear, "we need to be quiet through the rest, okay? Can you do that for me?" Harry nodded his head.

Sirius' cousin, Andi, stepped forward next. "The lilac will remind you that you have wedded your first love, the daisy represents the patience that you have shown thus far, and that which you will be required to show each day of your marriage. The forget-me-nots are there, so that you will always remember that this is the path that you have chosen, and all that goes with it." The flowers each gently wove themselves into the wreath.

I was surprised when Augusta Longbottom came forward, still holding the hand of her grandson, Neville. "Marriage cannot survive without selflessness, faithfulness and hope. The flowers of white heather, blue violets and the star of bethlehem are there to remind you of these things every day." Neville seemed quite intrigued with the flowers, and his grandmother had to pull him back to their place in the circle.

"Finally," Robina started, "I will add red roses, white calla lilies and honeysuckle. Passion, beauty and unity will continue to make your union strong. Find each of these with your mate each day, and you will be blessed." She waved her wand, and the flowers added themselves to the wreath. The entire wreath was simply stunning, and I couldn't wait to take it home and hang it over our fireplace.

Robina stood on the far side of the table. "To conclude our time of ceremony, and to move on to a time of celebration, we have souls that need to have their names said aloud. One has traveled to us over time and space to be born to these two at this time and place. One suffered great loss, but from his loss, he came to know this familial love. One has waited a lifetime, always believing that love was a gift to which she had been bestowed. And our last endured trial and tribulation to get here. His will was tested and nearly broken, but for having faith, he has been rewarded with the blessings of family."

She flourished her wand again, and a lovely strand of shimmering clematis vine shot out, and bound around our family. Sirius wrapped an arm over my shoulder, and the flowers twined around us. I kissed little Ainsley's head, and then leaned over to kiss Harry's as well. As much as I wanted to kiss Sirius, we weren't allowed to, just yet.

"For all that are gathered, these children of the earth shall now be known as: Ainsley Grace Potter-Black, Harry James Potter-Black, Eleanor Hightower Potter-Black and Sirius J. Potter-Black. This is a family wrought of love and devotion. May the spirits be praised. Sirius and Eleanor, you may kiss your beloved spouse," she said with a wide smile and Sirius lips were upon me presently. I felt as if I could fly from his lips, and it was only Harry's cheering that stopped us.

Our friends closed the circle around us, and we were hugged and kissed with wishes of congratulations. Sirius set Harry down, and he ran to where Ginny was standing with her father. I watched as Devon went over and set the bonfire ablaze with his wand. Tables began appearing, and Molly and Grace were levitating the feast out from the house.

Dinner consisted of a roast lamb, covered in rosemary and thyme. Fresh spring peas were served with lemon and butter and the asparagus was steamed with mussels that were caught this morning. I used my mother's recipe and made my favorite creamed fennel and leeks. There was warm, wheat bread and fresh butter, and Oak cured mead and even some French Champagne, a gift from the people who worked in the lab with me.

When we had all eaten our fill, large platters of strawberries were brought out, with bowls of fresh honey and melted chocolate to dip them in. I very much enjoyed feeding my new husband the decadent dessert.

"Can we leave now?" he whispered to me, his fingers caressing the side of my face, his hot breath dancing over my ear and neck.

"Soon," I moaned out. It was dark now, and our banqueting was lit solely by the firelight from the bonfire and candlelight. Molly brought out a beautiful cake, covered in marzipan and then she had made a heart from sugar that stood upon the top. Sirius and I cut into it, and fed each other the delicious, spicy, fruit laden concoction. We were about to get up, and take our leave, when something off in the distance caught out attention. A lone woman was standing on the crest of the hill above our home.

Devon went to go and see who it was, and attempt to send them away, but she remained as he walked back to us. Sirius stood to meet his partner and friend.

"Who is it?"

"It's your mother. She wants to speak with you." Devon told us. Sirius looked down at me, and I rose to be next to him.

"I don't want to talk with her," he said quietly, burying his head on my shoulder.

"Then don't. I shall go." I told him resolutely.

"What?" he said, his head snapping up. "I'm not letting you go to her alone."

"Then we shall go together, and turn her away together. I am your wife and partner now, we will share in this problem together. Devon, please keep watch on the children. I don't trust her, especially with Ainsley."

"I'll take care of the kids , and maybe the rest of the guests should be leaving as well?" he told me, and we both nodded.

"Leave it to them as to whether they leave or not. Nothing is ruining this day for me," I told him calmly, and then took my husbands hand and we traversed the hill to where Walburga Black was standing. I could see that she had something in her hand, it appeared to be a goblet, and my stomach lurched.

"Hello, Mother, what do you want?" Sirius asked her coldly.

"Didn't wait until the ink was even dry on your divorce decree did you? It's unseemly, Sirius," she shot back.

"Mother, Ellie and I have waited for six years to be wed. We saw no reason to wait any longer. Also, we wanted to be married on a sacred day, and Beltane is the best of those days to be married. I repeat, what do you want, Mother?"

"I brought the chalice..." she said, lifting it up.

"No." I told her firmly.

"But, child, it is the best way to bless a union and to make it strong," she tried to explain.

"Did you make him to do it to his first wife?" I asked her coldly, and Sirius gave my hand a squeeze.

"Her family didn't..." she paused and had the most pitiful look on her face. "But you, Ellie, your family has always..."

"Not like that. My family held the holidays and the tenants of the old teachings, but not the bastardization of the ways and the brutality that had become the rage in generations of late. I will not submit to him doing that to me."

"And I will not do it to my wife," Sirius told his mother sternly. "If that is all, we need to be taking the children home." Not that we were taking them home, we were going out to the old cottage for a night of privacy, but she didn't need to know that.

"Is that your little daughter down there?" Walburga asked, her face getting soft at the image of little Ainsley in the Grace's arms, the firelight reflecting across her pretty face. "How powerful she will be -- Black, Potter and Hightower blood in her, and born so close to Eostar. She must be brought up in the right ways," her face was now showing something completely different. She coveted our child, it was written in the desire in her eyes.

"We will be raising our daughter, as we see fit," Sirius told her sternly. "I think that it is time for you to be leaving, mother. You are not welcome here."

"You never did understand, Sirius. You may think that she is yours to raise now, but your daughter has been foretold, and the ones who need her will come for her and raise her to serve them. Sirius, it would have been better if she'd never been born, for her life will not be her own." She told us cryptically, and then she was gone, apparating on the spot.

I bowed my head and looked at the ground beneath us. "You don't think..."

"I am sure that my Mother knows nothing of which she speaks, love. Mother has gone round the twist, and utters things that don't make sense all of the time. Ainsley is our daughter, and we will keep her safe and love her and raise her, together. Come on now, lets go and enjoy our party for a few more minutes," he stopped speaking and wrapped his arms around me, "and then, I want to take you away from here, free you from these clothes, and worship the body of my beloved wife until dawn."

"Only if I may do the same to my husband," I replied, feeling surrounded by his love and happiness as we rejoined the party. I pushed my worries out of my mind for this night, we had earned at least one night free from those moving in the shadows to hurt our children.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note: Well my dear friends, this is it, the final chapter of Knots. I am blown away at how well received this story has been, and I am humbled by the things that people are writing me. I would be remiss if I did not thank to people. First, this story is dedicated to my friend Collinda, who was my encouragement and confidant as I wrote. The devotion of Grace, and her exuberance towards life are reflections of my friend and cheerleader. Next, to my dear friend, editor, cheerleader and sounding board--Peter. Everything that I write is a reflection of your encouragement and your devotion to my writing; without you I never would have started writing. Lastly, my thanks to my family, who endures my long hours at the computer; my daughters are often my inspiration for the actions and words of young Ellie; and my husband is the model for the love and devotion that Sirius has for Ellie. The sequel is called "Prophecy and Destiny" and I will start publishing in November. I am currently writing it, and I am having a blast with it. If you want to know when it starts, please sign up for my author alert. Again, my deepest thanks to everyone who is reading -- there is nothing more gratifying to a writer than to know that they are reaching people and giving them enjoyment. I would love to hear what you think will happen in the next story. As I am still writing it, your ideas could very well end up in the story. Now, please enjoy this last chapter -- it's quite a ride. Sincerely, Mutt N Feathers**

**Chapter 21:**

**The Passion of Night, The Harsh Light of Day**

Sirius and I walked away from where his mother had been just moments before, headed back to our family and friends. Neither of us spoke of what had just happened, what we had heard, or the concerns that we had because of it. We got back to the warm circle of those that had witnessed our marriage, and made a bee line for the children.

"I think that it's time for us to be leaving," I said to Sirius, "but first, I need to feed Ainsley." He nodded and we went and collected our crying child from Grace's arms.

"I changed her, but I think that she's hungry," Grace told us, and I nodded my affirmation of her assessment of the situation. I took her and walked into the house, closed the door to the Sitting Room and slid my gown aside so that I could feed her. When she was finished, I righted myself and went back outside. I met up with Remus first.

"Is everything ready?"

"Just was there, and everything was set. Please, enjoy yourselves, and don't worry about the children. Grace and I can handle them, and then we'll be over at the Weasley's tomorrow," he explained.

"I know, but if there is an emergency..."

"We'll get in touch with you," he added, finishing my sentence. We walked over to where a very sleepy Harry was sitting on Sirius lap. I handed Ainsley over to Grace, and Remus picked up Harry. We both said our goodbyes to our children, and then we walked off, away from our guests, and apparated to the old hunting lodge in the woods that Remus used for his changes.

It wasn't the most romantic of places for a wedding night, but we didn't want to go away without the children, and I knew that I would need to be back fairly early in the morning to feed Ainsley. The cabin was private and the only people who knew where we were, are close friends.

When we opened the door, the fire was already lit, as were dozens of candles, Remus had truly made sure that it was the perfect place for a romantic night. I had come over early this morning and made the bed with new sheets. I looked around the room and then looked at my husband. Without a word, his lips were upon mine, soft and warm, molding mine to fit against his. His tongue flicked out against the edges of my mouth and I allowed him entrance. I pulled him to me, easing the outer robes of his wedding clothes off of his shoulders, while his hands were loosening the band around my waist.

I needed to feel him, feel his skin against me, and my actions came in greater haste. Soon his slacks and shirt were discarded on the floor, as was my gown. I stood before him in the plain cotton underdress that I had worn beneath the ceremonial gown. Sirius pushed me backwards, his lips never leaving mine, until I lay on the bed. He settled himself on top of me.

"Do you know how beautiful you are my wife?"

"Only as handsome as you are my husband," I replied, once again capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. Everywhere his lips touched my skin, I felt my flesh erupt, everywhere that his hands caressed me was on fire. I had never known need so great in my life. We were soon shed of the rest of what had clothed us, and were nestled beneath the covers of the bed. Sirius hovered above me, leaning on one elbow, his other hand caressed along my hairline and face.

"Are you ready?" he quietly queried. I nodded at him, not wanting to reveal my hesitation and nervousness to him. It had been five years since we had been together in this way, and I felt nearly as nervous as the first time that we had made love. Sirius was gentle and loving as he filled me and moved with me. As we both climaxed, I was overwhelmed at the feeling I had for the one man I had ever loved in my entire life. Hot tears ran down my face, even though I was smiling.

"Lolly," he questioned as he held me, "did I hurt you?"

"No," I told him through my tears, "not at all. It's just..." I caught me breath and put my hand on his cheek. "I wasn't sure if we'd ever do this again, and...it was...so beautiful." I continued to cry as he held me to him chest.

"It always will be my love, it always will be."

The next morning, the fire had burned out and sunlight was streaming in through the windows. The sky appeared clear beyond the bright green leaves of spring just popping out on the trees I could see from outside the window. I felt a hand move up to caress my naked breast, and I turned around to face my now day old husband. "Good morning."

"Yes, it is a very good morning," he replied before he kissed me deeply. We lingered in bed for an indeterminate amount of time, satisfying one another in different ways. After my third and his second most exhilarating of moments, I knew that we needed to get up as Sirius' stomach was growling and my breasts were getting painful they were so full.

We shared the outdoor shower, the one that my father had built, and I had to keep charming the water to keep it warm enough. I found the clothes that I had stashed here yesterday morning, and we dressed and left for the Weasley house, knowing that I would be back to clean up later, and collect our clothes from the wedding.

Molly had invited us all to breakfast this morning so that we could open our gifts. I was anxious to see our children. As we walked up to the house, the front door flew open and Harry was running towards us.

"Ellie, Doggy, I missed you," he yelled and when he reached us, Sirius picked him up and gave him a great hug. He then leaned over to me so that I could kiss his little cheek. We went inside, and I saw Grace sitting there holding Ainsley.

"She's ready to eat, Ellie," Grace told me as she lifted our daughter up for me to take from here.

"Come on, Harry, let's go and find the rest of the boys and leave your Ellie and Ainsley to her feeding," Sirius said before he leaned down and kissed me passionately. I smiled at him as he left, sitting down in a chair, unbuttoning my blouse and getting Ainsley settled, before throwing her little blanket over my shoulder to cover up.

"Last night must have gone well?" Grace questioned, and I just look at her and smiled. "You look like the cat that got into the cream. I am so happy for you."

We talked for a few more minutes, Grace desiring more details than I wished to share, while Ainsley fed. As we talked, I found that I lacked the words to completely express my happiness. When my daughter was done eating and I had burped her, I righted my clothing and Grace took Ainsley to get her changed for me. She passed the Weasley's middle son, Percy, on her way out of the sitting room. He was carrying something in a small wooden cage.

"Percy, what do you have there?" I asked the six year old as I folded Ainsley's blanket.

"Oh, it's my pet rat," he replied.

"A rat, now that is an interesting choice of a pet. How did you come to have such a thing as your pet?"

"Well," he started as he walked closer to me. "I was out in the garden one day, and he was there, and very gentle, so I picked him up and started petting him. I asked Mum if I could keep him, and she said I could if I kept him in a cage. So I built him this one; Charlie helped me, and we feed him scraps from the dinner table. He's quite good at chasing away the garden gnomes."

"I see, well, let me have a look at such a gentle creature," I asked, and Percy came even closer. As I looked into the roughly constructed cage, I started to shake. Grace had come back into the room, holding Ainsley and I screamed at her.

"Get her out of here, Grace, please," I asked, my voice tense, and while Grace appeared confused, she did indeed turn and leave the room. "Sirius! Remus! come here quick!"

I was shaking and my breathing had become ragged. I couldn't believe what I was seeing here. Sirius charged into the room, followed by Remus and Harry.

"Get Harry out of here. Send him upstairs with Grace, please!" With a slight push, Sirius sent him up the stairs, and little Harry obeyed, concern written all over his face.

"What's wrong Miss Ellie?" Percy asked me, pulling his pet back toward him. Sirius was immediately at my side.

"Sirius, look at it, please tell me that I'm wrong," I begged, but I watched my husband's face go ashen and then harden.

"Percy, I am going to need to look at your rat," Sirius said harsher than I was sure he meant to, and Percy handed the cage over, looking quite terrified of Sirius. As soon as the cage was out of his hands, he ran to the kitchen, calling for his father.

Sirius held the cage to eye level, and Remus had returned and was now staring at the small animal inside as well. The rat had curled itself into the corner of the cage, squealing loudly.

"You fucking traitor," Sirius yelled at the thing.

Arthur came in the room, Molly and Percy following behind. "May I ask what is going on?" Remus turned to speak to him, as Sirius was seething and snarling at the terrified little caged creature, and I was in such shock I wasn't sure that I could speak.

"Arthur, it would appear, that your son's pet is not what it seems," Remus said as kindly as he could, without loosing the temper that he was clearly working hard to hold in. "If you will permit us, I will show you what we mean."

"Of course," Arthur replied. Sirius open the cage and reached in and grabbed the rat, which then attempted to bite Sirius. In turn, Sirius squeezed the creature tighter. Remus trained his wand on the animal and stunned it, and then Sirius threw it to the floor in front of us. He then pulled his wand and did the incantation, and I watched as the stunned form of Peter Pettigrew lay in front of us.

"Oh Merlin," I mumbled beginning to feel ill. I slumped further into the chair, and started weeping. Molly came and hugged me, trying to calm me down. "We had no idea, child, none whatsoever," she murmured as she rubbed my back.

Arthur too had pulled his wand, and with three wands trained on him, Remus revived him from his stunning.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Sirius yelled at him. Peter said nothing, just glared at his two former friends. "Answer me, you coward!" There was still no response. Remus put a body binding curse on him, and then shot a patronus upstairs, I assumed that it was to Grace to tell her what was going on. He then reached into Sirius breast pocket, and pulled out the communication mirror, and tapped on it asking for Devon.

"Answer me! Why did you betray your friends that way?" Sirius again yelled at him, and again, there was no response. Sirius looked like he would explode. I reached up and took his hand, which disarmed him enough to take a few steps back and stand by me.

"Peter, please, why did you betray my brother?" I pleaded through my tears.

"You really don't know, do you Ellie? Perfect Princess Potter," he sneered, and I felt so surprised. No one called me that except for Severus Snape. I hated the nickname, everyone who was close to me knew it.

"What? Peter, we were friends, why would you call me that?" He made a disgusting snorting sort of sound and glared at me.

"Because, that's what you are! They were supposed to be my friends, but you were always there!" he yelled at me, and I was so confused.

"They were your friends, we were all friends," I answered.

"No, you were friends with them, I was just the tag along. It should have been the four of us, but it was always the three of them and you. They even taught you how to change over before they taught me, and then, what did I get to become, a rat!"

"Peter, you couldn't manage anything larger," Sirius reminded him. "We tried over and over, and you couldn't do it!" Sirius anger was justified and rolling off him in waves. For my part, I was just feeling confused and shocked. Why in the world was he so jealous of me?

"Peter, I still don't understand? Jamie was your friend, he always held you in high regard. Why would you have betrayed him?"

"You know, for such a smart girl, you really are stupid. You were always there, reminding me, mocking me. You were so close to James, and then I had to watch you and Sirius together. It was sickening," he scolded me. I just shook my head at him, not understanding him at all.

"Jamie and I were best friends, we always had been. He was my big brother, and Sirius, we'd been friends since we were children. I don't understand what it was that I did to mock you?"

"You were supposed to be mine! My father had tried over and over to set a match with you. He'd promised me as a child that I would marry a pureblood worthy of me. We met, when we were five, and you were the most beautiful girl that I had ever met. I begged father to make my match with you, but your father refused. Then I go to school, and there you were, the girl that I had pined for since I was five, and you didn't even recognize me. Then you and Black took up, and it was all that I could take. What did he have that I didn't I ask you?" Peter was rambling, and I was in shock. I knew none of this, especially not that his father had approached my father. I knew that there had been suitors, but none were ever even given much of an audience with my father.

"But I still don't understand, why did you betray James?"

"That was simple. After you took up with him," Peter said, turning his eyes to Sirius, "I was despondent. Regulus and Severus approached me one night, told me that there was a way to get our revenge on all of you. I listened to them, and it made complete sense. Reg would get his brother to join him, and bring him back into the family fold, Severus could do away with James and have Lily to himself, and I would have you."

The Auror's arrived, lead by Devon, and they quickly had Peter and were taking him into custody. Remus explained that he was an animagus, and that guards would need to be put into place to keep him from escaping by changing over again. Devon nodded, and said that he would take care of it. As they were taking him away, Peter turned and yelled back at me.

"They're still after Harry, and oh, that pretty little girl of yours...she's going to change everything in our world, as soon as they get her," he yelled, and I buried my head in Sirius chest, hoping to not hear anymore.

The joyful attitude of the day was gone, and I just wanted to go home. I apologized to Molly and Arthur for what had happened, and they in turn felt the need to express their disgust that they had been harboring Peter, even if he was in disguise. We got home, and Remus started to make some lunch, and I was quite hungry, seeing as Sirius and I hadn't eaten at all yet today.

I said little through the day, instead being lost in my own thoughts. I felt an overwhelming urge to formulate a plan and figure out how to protect my children. The afternoon passed just as quietly, Harry took his nap, and Ainsley took two. Grace and Remus stayed in the kitchen, and Arthur came by with the accumulated gifts that we were to open while we were there that morning.

It was late afternoon when Sirius finally sat down in front of me, on the floor, looking up at my face, his hands taking mine. "Dear wife, tell me what you are thinking?"

I hesitated, I wasn't sure how he was going to take what I had to say, but I also knew that I couldn't keep anything from him. "We're never going to be safe here, are we?"

Sirius was quite for long moments, and then he finally answered me. "It would appear not." My heart sank that he was thinking the same thing, part of me had wanted him to talk me out of my fear and worry, and now he was confirming. "What do you want to do?"

His question struck me at just how well he knew me. He knew that I had been thinking, formulating, planning in my head. It's how I had always done things.

"I think we need to leave, move out of England, and I don't mean go to Wales or Ireland. We need to leave altogether, and raise our children somewhere else. Somewhere that they aren't known, and where we can keep them safe."

Sirius nodded, and breathed a heavy sigh. Neither of us said anything, we both knew that this would be the right thing. There was nothing to hold us to Britain anymore -- my family was gone, Sirius despised his and neither of us needed to work anymore, we simply did for the joy of it, not for the money. We'd talk later, start to formulate a plan, but we both knew that this was what we needed to do, we needed to keep our children safe.

Six weeks had passed since we'd made the decision that we needed to leave. We'd picked a country, and then set the goblins to work at finding us a suitable home. We'd chosen to sell the flat, we'd never need it again, and once we had left, we would sell this small home as well. I loved the little cottage, but when we returned, if we ever returned, we would live in the Potter Family Home. I looked up at our wedding wreath, and smiled. In my heart I knew that this was right, tonight we would be telling Grace and Remus of our plans, and offering to take them with us. The choice would be theirs, but we so hoped that they would continue to share in our lives and the raising of our children.

After dinner, we all met in the Lounge, cups of tea and biscuits to share. Sirius and I sat together, across from Remus and Grace. I took a deep breath and started.

"I know that the two of you have been trying to figure out what it is that we've been discussing. We haven't meant to be secretive, we just needed to get some things in place before we spoke with you," I spoke first.

"We don't believe that the threat to Harry and now Ainsley has abated at all, even with the capture and death of so many of the death eaters. We are uncertain that our children will ever be truly safe here. That is why we are moving away," Sirius finished.

"What? Where?" Grace uttered in shock.

"We're moving to Italy. We've purchased a large farm and farmhouse there, not that we have any intention of becoming farmers, we just need to be away from here. I've been doing so much research, and...I need to keep my children safe," I told them, starting to cry. Sirius wrapped his arm around me, and took over the explanation.

"We're staying through Harry's birthday, and then we will be gone. We'd like it if you were to come with us, live with us, help teach our children as they grow. Remus, I know that there is little for you here, only Grace. I don't expect an answer right away, but know that we do want you and we have made accommodations for you to have your privacy."

"You can't just leave and tell no one where you are?" Remus reprimanded us.

"There will be a few who know where we are, Amelia will definitely know, and I believe that we'll let Molly and Arthur have some way of communicating with us. We also plan to write a few letters, letting people know that we have left of our own accord, and not to try and find us," Sirius explained. There was one person in particular that I didn't want finding us. In my research in the last weeks, I had lost my faith in this person, and they had lost my trust.

We sat there in silence for a few more minutes, then we answered a few more questions about the farm and its location, and then Grace and Remus left for her flat, so that they could speak further on the matter, alone. We only had six weeks until we would be gone.

Harry was out back playing with the Weasley children, Devon's children and little Luna Lovegood, celebrating his third birthday. Remus was keeping Devon and his wife occupied and Grace was speaking with Robina, so that Sirius and I could talk with Arthur and Molly.

"I know that this must seem sudden to you, but we have been thinking about it for months, and we are prepared to go. We wanted to tell you ourselves, so that you were not surprised when we were gone," I told Molly as I held her hand.

"But, where will you go, what will you do?" she questioned.

"We have a home already, and neither of us need to work for money. We will raise our children," Sirius explained. "We're not going to tell you where we are, not because we don't trust you, more that there are people who will do anything to know where we are, and we don't want to see you hurt in the process."

"Thank you for that Sirius," Arthur said.

"I know that the children will want to communicate with each other, so I made these," Sirius said, taking out to large mirrors in simple wooden frames that had the word "friends" carved in the bottom brace. "We will leave one with you, and we will take the other, and then the children can still talk with each other. All you have to do is tap on it, say our names, and one of us will answer."

"That's simply ingenious," Arthur said.

"Yes, well, he and Jamie came up with them so that they could communicate when they had detention in different rooms while we were in school," I told them in a disapproving voice. We all laughed at it. It felt good to remember my brother with laughter, instead of tears.

"Harry and Ginny are going to have a hard time of not seeing each other, but we'd love for all of you to visit, someday, once things have settled, and you won't be drawing attention to yourselves. There are more than enough bedrooms," I explained.

We chatted for a few more minutes, and I watched as Arthur stowed away the mirror in the folds of his cloak.

"I think for now, I shall only let Molly and I be the ones to activate it. As they grow, we will see," he explained and I nodded in agreement.

We rejoined the party, and Harry opened his presents and had his cake. Night had fallen by the time the last of the guests had left. Ginny once again kissing Harry goodbye.

"Good night Hawwy, I wub you," she said to him, and then he hugged her.

"I love you too, my Inny."

I looked up at Molly and we both had tears in our eyes. It hurt to know that I would be taking my son away from his best friend, but they would still see each other, I pledged in my heart. Molly hugged me goodbye, and whispered wishes of good luck in my ear and I nodded against her.

We got the children to sleep, and then we started dismantling the rest of the house. Sirius had set up a temporary floo connection so that we could move things easily. Remus and I would shrink and pack each room, sent it through the floo to Sirius and Grace who were there unpacking and setting things up. I would eventually set up my lab in one of the outbuildings at the farm when I had time.

We'd already packed everything from Grace's flat, and Remus' things and we sent them through, and Sirius got them over to their part of the house. The bedrooms were next, and I set a sleeping charm on Harry as I packed everything up from his room, except for his bed and the clothes that he would wear tomorrow. The room seemed so empty, but I knew that if he arrived in Italy with all of the things he loved already in place, it would make the transition so much easier.

It was four in the morning when we finished. Sirius came back from the new house and Remus went through to be there with Grace, waiting for our arrival. I also think that he wanted to sleep in a bed, for what was left of the night.

When he was through, Sirius destroyed the floo fireplace in our house. I knew that Remus was doing the same at the house in Italy as we spoke. Even once the fireplace was rebuilt, they would not be able to trace where it had gone, since there would be no corresponding fireplace on the other end, it would be removed and then bricked over.

Sirius cushioned the floor, and we laid down. He brought back a bottle of Italian wine with him, but we had no glasses, and not even anything left that could be transfigured into such vessels. We took turns drinking from the bottle, laughing at the lack of class that our actions took.

"My mother would be mortified if she knew I were drinking wine from a bottle," I remarked.

"My mother would just curse me, so, I'll take you're Mums reaction," he retorted. "You ready to leave?"

"I am," I answered. "The goblins will be putting markers on Jamie and Lily's graves now, and someone will be caring for the Potter house while we are away. Anything of any importance or value has been moved to the vaults, and clothes and such, I gave away. The letters that we wrote will all be delivered at the same time tomorrow, by owl. There will be no way to trace them to us, since Amelia went through her work accounts to have them sent." I stopped talking and thought for a moment. "There is nothing to tie me to this place, all of my ties and to you and our children. We shall bless our new home on Lúgnasad, enjoying the festival of the harvest. It seems appropriate, since we are moving into a farm."

"That it does my lovely wife, now, shall we rest, or shall we say goodbye to the house?"

"I think that we should say goodbye, after all, this house has given us a great many things, most importantly, it gave you back to me," I told him, as I kissed him.

We were unhurried in our love making, and we finally came together, we were sitting, facing each other, our bodies undulating, our eyes never breaking contact.

"I love you," I cried out as my body exploded, my head thrown back in a near mind numbing experience. Sirius said nothing, his was reduced to grunts and groans as he spilled into me. We settled back down, and fell into an exhausted sleep.

A few hours later, we were awoken by Ainsley wanting her breakfast. I quickly threw on my dress and brought her down to feed her while Sirius shrunk her crib to take with us. Harry emerged from his room, confused as to where the rest of his things were, especially his pair of giant stuffed deer.

"Harry, we're going on a trip today, and when we get there, you find that your deer are waiting for you," Sirius promised him, and then took him into his room to dress him, and shrink his bed.

With the children's beds shrunk and in a box, we threw in their night clothes, and then sealed the box. I did another quick look through the house, to make sure that we hadn't left anything. I only found one mismatched sock and a rather moldy bit of bread. I threw both of them away, thinking they were of no use to us in our new home.

Sirius took the candle down from the mantle, and told Harry to hold onto part of the taper, the part right in the middle. I held Ainsley with one arm, close to my chest, and Sirius had the box under his crooked arm. He held the top of the candle, a few fingers over Harry's, and I held the bottom, a few of my fingers over his thumb.

I took one last look around, and then smiled at Sirius, and he nodded back. In the arm holding Ainsley, I had my wand, and I touched the burned tip. The air swirled and turned blue, and Harry laughed brightly. As we were nearing the end of our trip, Sirius explained to him to start moving his legs like he was walking, it would make the landing easier.

Our feet touched down on the brown dirt of the beautiful lane that lead up to the farmhouse. The sun was fully up here, and thankfully there was only a one hour time difference. Harry looked up at the large house, the fields to the left and the barn to the right, and then he looked up at us.

"Welcome to your new home, sport," Sirius said, and Harry took off in a run for the house. As he approached, Remus opened the door to our home, and Harry hugged him. "Welcome home, Lolly."

"Welcome home, love."


End file.
